I submitted this story for a competition on another site a few years ago…I just found it again. The only prompt was that it had to start with "It was a dark and stormy night"… I went with humor…hope you enjoy and Happy Mother's Day!
Lollipops and Rainbows
"It was a dark and stormy night," Dean said as they headed into yet one more middle of nowhere town.
"Dean what are you talking about it isn't the least bit stormy," Sam said stretching as best he could in the cramped parameters of the Impala. "It is dark though and very late, let's stop here please."
"My plan exactly, I saw a beagle up on his dog house back there just like Snoopy in the comic strip."
"What? Since when do you read comic strips?"
"Hey you read what you can when you are ten and stuck in a motel room with a bratty little brother. I would read you the comics when you were little don't you remember?"
But Sam just shook his head and yawned. The drove around but found nothing in the way of a motel until the hit the town square and saw a vacancy sign plastered to a window. The windows were all dark but it would seem they were out of options. They parked the car and trudged to the front door. Finding it locked Dean pushed the doorbell which responded like an angry bumblebee. Waiting a few minutes without any action Dean repeated his efforts. Finally they saw a light heading down the stairs Dean pulled his head back at was heading his way. Sam noticed his brother's odd reaction and moved closer to the door.
"Well good evening there gentlemen, looking for a room I suppose?" the man asked.
Dean for once was speechless as he looked the man up and down. He was wearing an old fashioned nightgown complete with nightcap and was holding a lantern that looked circa 1850.
"Oh my attire must be what has you stumped. It is just what I prefer, who says modern times are the most comfortable. This is 100% cotton and I keep it cool in here," he said adjusting his hat, "I find I sleep so much better, but of course you can control your own room temperature with the radiator."
"Is there electricity?" Sam asked clutching his laptop.
"Of course WiFi as well this is the 21st century after all. Any bags tonight?" he asked moving towards the small desk that must serve as check-in.
"No we're good," Dean said whipping out a credit card.
"Kitchen is fully stocked just help yourself, your room is at the top of the stairs first door on the left. My name is Ethan Watts just let me know if you need anything have a good night."
The boys slept well and helped themselves to a variety of breakfast foods the next morning. They were relieved to see Ethan in the typical wear of jeans and a t-shirt. They decided over their healthy start to the day that they would just lay low and scout out another hunt from the homey abode they had found. So from the small motel they went straight to the library.
They arrived in short order and made their way into the building and did a double take at the man behind the circulation desk. There standing before them was Sherlock Holmes complete with funny hat, pipe, cape and a magnifying glass setting next to him on the counter.
As the boys stood mouths agape a young girl passed them by. "Mr. Holmes can you help me she begged?"
The boys did a double take. "His name is Sherlock Holmes?" Dean asked her.
She looked at Dean as if he were crazy. "No Daniel, what is your problem weirdo," she said continuing to head towards the target desk.
"Oh well sorry," Dean said his eyebrows rising. "Okay so first we have Wee Willie Winky and now the legend of Baker Street, what the hell is going on around here?"
Sam seemed somewhat surprised that Dean knew Holmes' residence but let it slide. "Yeah well maybe he just gets into this whole literary thing."
"Like Ethan gets into the whole sleeping thing?"
Sam shrugged and the two separated seeing if they could find anything else unusual in the area beyond the wardrobe choices of a few of its citizens.
The day took them to a diner in the middle of this quaint and picturesque town. Dean slid the Impala into an angled slot outside the establishment and turned to toss his jacket inside when he heard an odd sound behind him.
Clop clop clop clop and then silence. Dean pulled his head out of the car and saw Sam standing on the other side transfixed at what was apparently right behind Dean. He swallowed and turned and was face to nose with a large horse.
"Whoa," Dean exclaimed throwing his body against the car.
"Jessie Bell did you scare that nice man?" a woman asked the horse.
Dean wasn't scared per se and he also didn't know of any nice men anywhere in the immediate area well accept for Sam. "No I was just a bit surprised by your….pet."
"Jessie isn't just a pet she is my transportation," the woman said.
"Why?" Dean asked without thinking.
"Cause I'm not into gas guzzling vehicles," she said staring past Dean at the Impala. "She is a beauty though."
"Thanks," Dean said brushing horse hair off his shoulder as the woman walked into the diner.
With one last look at the horse the boys headed to a booth and a good meal.
"Tell me that's not weird," Dean told Sam.
"No that's kinda weird, but she is into the environment and that is good," Sam said. "The town is too small for mass transit so she is tackling it differently."
"I'll say this place is just a tad bit different."
They found no hunts in the area and decided to stay another day. After a nice breakfast with Willy er Ethan they decided to wander around town and find out the history of the place.
"It's elementary Sam we should go talk to Holmes at the library," Dean suggested causing Sam to shake his head.
"I like this place you just don't know what you will find," Sam said as they drove around.
"Maybe we should check out the water supply," Dean suggested.
"Why would we do that?"
"Because when a lot of people are affected by something you always check out the water supply. Maybe they are dumping pharmaceuticals in the reservoir or something."
"I think a few people are living their own lives with an eccentricity or two and there is nothing wrong with that."
"Right," Dean said as they pulled up the water and sewer district building. The guard was wearing a dress.
"You were saying?" Dean whispered to Sam.
"I was saying they might be dumping drugs into the water supply," Sam said in weary voice.
"Hey there fellas," the large guard said as he came out to greet them wearing a pink ensemble consisting of a satiny top and matching skirt complete with pumps. His name tag was pinned on his upper right side proclaiming that he went by Bart.
"Hi…Bart," Dean said trying to hold his smile down to a dull roar. "Um we are from the water department at the capital and are just doing spot inspections at several plants."
"Oh we weren't expecting you," Bart said with a smile.
Sam who had been busy rummaging through the glove box briskly walked over and showed his badge that actually showed he was meat inspector but thankfully Bart wasn't too detail oriented at least not when it came to badges.
Bart kept on smiling as his bracelets tinkled together and his earring dangled in the breeze. "Well I can call Randy over and he can give you a tour then."
"That would be great," Sam said with his own smile radiating across the way.
Dean couldn't help but stare and Sam tried a valiant elbow to his brother's ribs but it couldn't break the hold that the shimmering pink mass held on him.
"Don't those shoes hurt?" Dean asked.
"Nah, well not too much anyway. They come in wide widths now. Sometimes I wake up and think sneakers would be much more comfortable but then I realize sometimes you just have to sacrifice to look good."
"Yeah it's all about the sacrifice," Dean said grinning as Sam stomped on his foot.
"Well let me raise Randy for you," Bart said tottering back to his small guard shack and grabbing a radio.
The inspection didn't show anything abnormal and the boys waved goodbye to Bart who gesticulated his goodbye even as he was rummaging through his matching handbag.
"So now what?" Sam asked Dean who looked like a bottle of corked champagne ready to explode.
"You can't tell me this is all normal, that there isn't something supernatural going on around here."
"I can but I can't say that would be the truth. I don't even know where to start or if we even should," Sam replied.
Dean looked over with a quizzical look his eyebrows twitching.
"I mean look around everybody seems to be content with all this…um absurdity. Who are we to disrupt the balance these people have found?"
"We're the Winchesters and it's what we do…we disrupt," Dean retorted.
"When we need to, when it's best for the victims. Dean I don't see any victims here."
"You don't call Bart a victim, I mean come on Sam dude was more pretty in pink than Molly Ringwald."
Sam smiled and shook his head at the thought of the cross dressing guard.
They drove back into town and hit the school zone right as the kids came pouring out and the busses began to load. Being thoroughly stuck in the mass of youth and caregivers Dean gave up and put the Impala in park.
"Do you think it could be some kind of spell or something?" Dean asked. "I mean what would cause something like this?"
"Maybe the town is just full of oddballs," Sam said as a woman shuffled by the car pushing a stroller. Everything looked normal at first until upon further gaze they noticed she was wearing pajamas. They weren't the cute little lounge pants that people parade around in they were full fledge jammies with cows going over the moon and a cat playing the fiddle. A robe hung loosely from her frame the ties flapping behind her as she walked and her fuzzy slippers flip flopped as she walked.
"I'll say," Dean said with a sigh. "And I bet that is her kid right over there," he said pointing to a small boy running their way.
The little boy was adorable with his blond hair bouncing around and his superman pj's complete with cape flowing behind him. He had on those sock slippers that ran up to his calf. And didn't seem to raise anybody else's eyebrow except for Sam and Deans.
A minute later a little girl in a fairy outfit that held wings which twittered in the breeze came strolling out trying to keep her backpack from tangling with her wand. Her little plastic shoes clacked as she made her way down the sidewalk. The boys immediately began to look around for her counterpart in the crowd. It didn't take long to see the Tinkerbell look-a-like flittering around waving to her daughter.
"Okay if Peter Pan comes flying by I'm outa here," Dean said closing his eyes and opening them again to see if all this was real. Yep it was real and no matter how much he pretended he wasn't on Insane Lane or the Weirdo Way he found himself quickly reminded they weren't in Kansas anymore.
"I can't take much more of this," Dean sighed.
Sam shook his head as they were finally able to pull away from the curb and head back to their small motel room. They tried to open the front door but found it was locked a small signing saying Ethan would be back in 15 minutes.
"I hate those signs," Dean mumbled. "I mean 15 minutes from when, 5 minutes ago…hell he could have hung that up last night."
"Well let's just sit down for a few minutes and think some of this out," Sam suggested allowing his large frame to ease into one of the porch chairs.
A woman came strolling by with a large dog who found something interesting in his path and settled in for a long sniff. The boys scrutinized the duo and didn't see anything abnormal breathing a sigh of relief they sat back.
A second later they sat back up as the woman greeted a man walking by. That in itself wasn't too unusual except he was walking backwards.
"Hey Dennis how are ya today?" the woman asked not seeming to notice the man was looking where he had come from and not where he was going.
"Hey Blanche pretty day isn't it. What's up Big Boy," Dennis blabbered at the dog as he motored on by.
After he was down the street and Big Boy was finishing his business Sam cleared his throat. "Did you happen to notice that he was walking backwards?"
Blanche looked up noticing the two men on the porch. "That's Dennis he always walks backwards everywhere he goes it's backwards. He skates backwards too, he used to drive backwards but he lost his license after he plowed into the flower shop last year."
"Why?" Dean asked.
"Cause it's what he does," Blanche simply answered.
"Of course he does. Blanche pardon me if I'm a bit forward here, but there seem to be quite a few people around here that are…well a little different."
"Sure there are, that's what makes this town so damn fun to live in," she said brightly.
"How long has been so…umm colorful?" Dean asked.
"Several years now," Blanche said as her dog began to tug her down the street.
"Okay you call Bobby while I see if I can dig anything else up," Dean said as he stepped off the porch and deposited himself in the Impala.
That evening as the boys reconnoitered they found they were no closer to coming up with any final plan for what to do.
"Well I didn't come up with much other than finding a boy who has only eaten pizza for every meal for the last year. Oh and his mother dyes her hair varying shades of pink and only wears purple. Then there was the dog who wore bunny ears on his head," Dean explained.
"Bunny ears?" Sam asked.
"Yeah you know that you slide on your head, the owner said the dog cries when she takes him off. Please tell me Bobby had some idea what the hell is going on."
"An enchantment spell, he said it could be spread a few different ways but the water supply was likely."
"Then why isn't everybody affected I mean you have to come in contact with tap water at some point in your life."
"Maybe you have to consume a lot of water to be severely affected, we should see if those so affected are big water drinkers.
The boys devoted the next day to finding every odd member of society and learning their drinking habits. Unfortunately none of it seemed to match their theory.
"So now what?" Dean asked exasperated.
"I have no idea," Sam said as low flying crop duster went by.
Dean followed Sam's gaze to the sky. "What if?" Sam asked.
"What if what, what if somebody dropped pixie dust all over town?" Dean asked his voice tinged with irritation.
"Sure it's just a different method than the water supply. Maybe the people that were outside at the time took the brunt of it and they are the ones who are, well er different."
"And the others got a taste and didn't turn full on batty but became tolerant of those who did," Dean surmised.
"Sure why not?" Sam shrugged.
"So what do we do? Is there some kind of counter charm or something?"
Sam shook his head, "Bobby said you could try that but it could be dangerous."
"Dangerous how, like everybody would be wearing tutus and prancing around in fairy wings and bunny ears?"
"No like the town goes from rainbows and lollipop land to well to a dark and stormy night," Sam said with a sigh.
"So you are okay with leaving this place as we found it?"
"Sure why not, it's bright and sunny and happy and that is something we don't get to see very often."
"What if one of these eccentrics wants to leave town, they won't quite be embraced the same way they are here."
"Why would leave Dean, I mean look around these are the most well-adjusted people we have seen in a long time despite the pink hair and pajama's."
"So lollipops and rainbows then?" Dean asked.
Sam nodded, "yep lollipops and rainbows we have enough dark and stormy nights in our lives already."
"Okay then let's get out of here because if I see a unicorn trot by I swear to God I may have to run it over!"
