Two months have passed since Detective Wilden's murder and Hanna's torturing herself over the idea that her mother may have been the one to kill him. Spencer is stressed- college rejection letters are pouring in as she is coming out from a deep depression that's caused some repressed feelings to surface. Aria's dating Jake, you know, that hot martial arts teacher. And Emily… poor Em has overwhelming pressure to get back into the water after her accident, CPS has been knocking on her front door, and Spencer had spent weeks pushing her away but suddenly they are best friends again. Graduation is coming up and the Liars are wondering if they will ever have a chance at a normal life.


It was quiet inside the Apple Rose Grille. Spencer sat crisscross on a bar-stool at the window. Her body hunched over a mug of steaming espresso as she breathed in its sweet aroma. Her fingers fiddled with the mugs crooked handle while her eyes scanned the fog-laden streets of downtown Rosewood.

She inhaled again, reminding herself that the smell of shots was supposed to calm her senses, but today it didn't seem to be helping. Her mind kept flickering to all the horrible things that could have occurred last night -while she couldn't remember anything after sitting down on the couch beside Emily Fields- and how waking up alone in the barn was somehow scarier than not remembering.

Bells jingled as the front door opened. Spencer's eyes drifted to the sight of Emily's disheveled hair and frantic expression. She was quiet as Emily tossed her worn out messenger bag on the counter and plopped down on the stool beside her.

"I'm so sorry that I'm late, Spence. This morning has been crazy." Emily slid out from her jacket and hung it on the back of her chair. "Did you order?"

"Just coffee." Spencer turned toward the counter and made eye contact with her favourite waitress, Mariah.

"Miss Hastings, another cup?" Mariah asked, casually resting her hand on Spencer's shoulder as she approached them.

"Black, please." Spencer smiled warmly before following her attention to Emily.

"And for you?"

"A 12oz chai with no water in a to-go cup," Emily said, glaring at Mariah's hand.

Mariah furrowed her brown and looked back at Spencer before dismissing herself with a nod. Spencer watched her disappear into the kitchen before bringing her attention back to Emily.

"What?" Emily snapped, feeling uncomfortable beneath a questioning gaze.

"You feel… tense."

She was flirting with you - Emily shook the thoughts and remembered why she was meeting Spencer in the first place. "Last night is a blur. I'm just… a little freaked."

"Me too." Spencer shifted her body to face Emily. "Have you talked to Hanna or Aria?"

"Yeah. They don't remember much. Do you?"

"I remember sitting down on the couch with you… I think they were sitting on the rug. Something about drinking was said… I think I had a glass of wine." Spencer shook her head, feeling the mental block in place. "Did you have any?"

"Spence, you drank the entire bottle."

"No way," Spencer chuckled, surprised.

"Yeah, after Hanna poured everyone a glass you downed it and jacked the bottle off the table," Emily frowned. "It was fine at first. Hanna found an unopened bottle of rum in the cupboard and we sipped on it for a while. But things got… hazy."

"What's the last thing you remember?" Spencer asked.

Emily shifted away, uncomfortably. She felt the waitress approach from behind and mumbled an awkward 'thanks' as her cup was sat down in front of her. She stared at it, thankful that they were left in silence.

"Em?"

"Right," Emily said, turning back to lock eyes with Spencer. "The last thing I remember is you licking salt off of Aria's neck."

"What?" Spencer balked. "I did, what?"

Emily shook her head. "You had a lot to drink."

Spencer felt uneasy. She didn't like the tension lingering between them or the out of character responses that Emily was giving. They drank all the time and it was never an issue. "Is something else bothering you?"

"I'm fine," Emily spat. Spencer's body shifted at the abrupt response. Instead of addressing it, Emily examined her chai as if it were the most interesting thing in the world.

"You seem upset," Spencer pushed.

Emily hesitated. "I couldn't of had more than 8 ounces of rum, but it messed me up."

"You think it was… drugged or something?" Spencer asked.

"The wine too. You were fucked after the first glass," Emily whispered. "Where'd it come from?"

Spencer's eyes widened, but she quickly shook her head at her initial concern. "Toby brought it to the cabin on Friday night, but we forgot about it. We never left the bedroom."

Emily's stomach dropped at the reminder of Spencer and Toby's relationship. A deep blush crept up her cheeks as she tried dismissing the intrusive image.

"What?" Spencer asked.

"You don't think that he wou-"

"No," Spencer scoffed. "Toby would never-"

"You can't know that-"

"Seriously?" Spencer raised her voice. "You're seriously accusing Toby?"

"You had the same thought." Emily exhaled, trying to keep her voice steady. "He's my friend too, Spencer… but we've all had to do things that we aren't proud of."

Spencer narrowed her eyes. It wasn't that long ago that Mona Vanderwaal had blackmailed Toby into helping her. She was A, at least the original A, and she used anyone she could while playing the role of puppeteer. Mona wasn't a threat to them anymore, not after she voluntarily checked herself back into Radley Sanitarium. This new person using the alias of A was much more sinister. Spencer trusted that Toby would come to her if anything was wrong, they didn't keep things from each other anymore.

"It has to be A or Red Coat. Besides, the liquor was left in the barn, anyone could have messed with it." Spencer stated. She wasn't comfortable giving the Toby theory another thought.

"Okay," Emily agreed. "But why?"

"How should I know? Apparently, I was too busy licking salt off Aria's neck to notice anything else." Spencer's sarcasm was followed by her trademark smirk. "Anything else I should know?"

Emily shook her head. She lifted the paper cup to her lips and sipped on the chai. Words were clawing at the back of her throat- she wanted to tell Spencer that she did actually remember more about the evening, but that would mean confessing to something that she didn't quite understand.

"Do you want to stay and eat before school? Breakfast on me." Spencer said.

"I can't, I have an assignment that needs to be done before second period," Emily responded. Her phone lit up with a new text message. She smiled fondly at the image of her, Spencer, Hanna, and Aria that was set as her background photo.

"Paige?" Spencer guessed.

"No."

Spencer raised her eyebrows, interested in whatever it was that was causing a blush to appear across Emily's cheeks. "Someone else you are interested in?"

"No, it was just Aria. She's helping me catch up on some assignments." Emily watched as Spencer's demeanor shifted. She was sure that it had to do with the fact that she didn't ask Spencer for help on something school related.

"Oh."

"I didn't want to burden you. I know you have a lot going on and it-"

"Yeah," Spencer huffed, "I'm so busy opening rejections letters, it's probably best you asked Aria."

"Spence, UPenn isn't good enough for you anyway." Emily stood up, sliding her jacket back on and messily pushing in her chair.

"Sure, they aren't good enough for me but are perfectly suff-"

"I don't have time to deal with a self-deprecating pity party. I asked Aria because she is in the same class and has the notes that I missed. I have to go." Emily grabbed her cup off the table and locked eyes with Spencer for a brief moment. "I'll see you at lunch."


Emily hurried out the front door of the Grille. She cursed as the rain pelted against her face, tickling as it slid down her V-neck. Fumbling to open her back pack, she quickly pulled out a small black umbrella and opened it. She cursed again, realizing that it was Spencer's umbrella -it was offered to her several nights ago after she left hers in the back of her mom's car- she felt the urge to turn around and return it so that Spencer wouldn't get soaked on her walk to school. She pulled her phone out to check the time before going back inside and it buzzed in her hand.

Better keep walking, Em. Don't want Spencer to question your feelings. -A

Emily's stomach dropped. She looked up, scanning the streets for anyone that seemed familiar, but only joggers passed in the distance. She shut her eyes, recalling the memory of last night.

Emily walked into the Hasting's kitchen for a glass of water, her throat burning from the harsh shots of rum that Hanna pressured her into drinking. Grabbing the 'world's greatest dad' mug out from the cupboard, she turned on the faucet. Leaving the water running, she looked out the kitchen window into the darkness, bracing herself with her free hand on the counter for balance. As she stared outside a figure appeared in the reflection, it was Spencer.

Spencer stood behind her until she turned around. They locked eyes and she felt nervous beneath Spencer's unfamiliar gaze. "Are you alright, Spence?" she asked.

Spencer didn't respond. Taking a few steps closer to her, Spencer brushed her hand against Emily's cheek. "I-I think that I'm in love with you, Emily," Spencer whispered.

Emily's eyes widened at the confession. She didn't have time to respond before Spencer leaned in. Brushing her lips softly against Emily's, she waited for Emily to deepen the kiss. Emily didn't hesitate. She wrapped her arms around Spencer's waist and pulled their bodies closer.

As their breathing grew heavy, Spencer pulled away, fear apparent in her eyes. "Don't tell," she whispered, before leaving Emily alone in the kitchen.

Emily shook the memory from her mind, unable to even begin processing what happened- it felt so surreal, as if it were just a dream. She hurried down the sidewalk towards the school.

"There you are!" Aria yelled from the entryway. "I was worried when you didn't message me back."

"Sorry, I guess I forgot to hit send," Emily mumbled. She followed Aria into an empty classroom and slid out from her soaking wet jacket. She looked up to see Aria staring at her dripping hair. "The walk was longer than I remember," she said, feeling the need to fill the silence.

Aria furrowed her brow. "You walked?"

"I needed to clear my head."

"From last night?" Aria watched Emily's eyes glaze over. She studied her for a moment, realizing that she wasn't going to respond. "From drinking?" She pushed.

"Right," Emily said. "Do you remember much?"

"Not aside from waking Hanna up this morning to take me home," Aria chuckled. "We probably shouldn't drink on school nights anymore. I have the worst headache."

"Yeah, same."

"How was Spencer this morning? Did you guys get breakfast?"

"No, just coffee." Emily pulled the books out from her backpack and dropped them onto the table with a loud thud. She looked up and met Aria's concerned gaze.

"What happened?" Aria asked, not bothering to beat around the bush, "What's wrong?"

"I'm just having a rough morning," Emily said, looking out the window behind Aria. Sitting down, her phone buzzed again.

Tell Aria about it or I will. Kisses, A

Emily's mouth fell agape as she stared blankly at the screen. She knew that A wasn't bluffing, but she couldn't just come out and tell Aria about the kiss because that would lead to a much deeper conversation that she wasn't ready to have.

Aria watched Emily's demeanor change and she could feel the anger rising. "Who's it from?"

"Who the hell do you think it's from?" Emily shouted, slamming her phone down on the table. She stood up, unsure of how to handle her anger. Lately she was experiencing bursts of uncontrollable anger that would come out of nowhere- it would take her by surprise and it was difficult to calm down from once it escalated. She slid her phone to Aria and began to pace.

"Tell me what?" Aria asked after a moment. "What the hell is going on?"

"I can't."

"Why?"

"I just…" Emily stopped, feeling tears roll down her cheeks. "There's just too much happening right now, I can't."

Aria sprung up from her seat and wrapped her arms around Emily. Feeling the taller woman sink into her body, she held Emily without another word and allowed her to cry.

"I'm sorry," Emily said. She pulled out from Aria's embrace and wiped her tears. She inhaled deeply, focusing on keeping her breathing steady.

"Hey, it's alright, Em." Aria said, softly. "If you want to talk, I'm here, but don't feel like you have to."

Guilt washed over Emily. Over the past few months she and Aria had been spending a lot of one on one time, they had grown a lot closer and had been more open with each other while alone than they had been in a group setting. Emily felt like she owed Aria an explanation, even if it had nothing to do with her sudden breakdown.

"Paige and I had a fight on Friday," Emily said. "We haven't spoken since."

Aria sighed in relief. Relationship issues were her specialty, as long as they were other people's issues and not her own. "Do you want to talk about it?"

Emily scowled, feeling her heart sink at the thought of that issue. "Paige… she um, she thinks that Spencer has joined the A team, like for real this time."

"What? Why?"

"She thinks it's to save Toby from something."

"Spencer would come to use if she was in trouble," Aria said.

"I know that," Emily scoffed. "Paige on the other hand doesn't believe it, especially because A has gotten to Spencer before an-"

"Mona got to Spencer," Aria said. "Mona is locked up. Did you tell her that?"

"I tried." Emily shook her head. "She's just being over protective."

"Or jealous," Aria mumbled.

"What?"

"Nothing," Aria said, quickly. "I think it's sweet that she is looking out for you."

Emily scowled and shook her head. "I guess."

"You aren't… You aren't questioning Spencer in any way, are you?"

"No?" Emily said, unsure of herself. Spencer was the only one around when they kissed… And then there was the photo that Paige sent her of Spencer sneaking around in a black hoodie.

"Em, whatever you say to me doesn't leave this room."

"Paige sent me a photo of Spencer," Emily said. She slid her phone back to Aria.

"That is questionable. Did you ask her about it?"

"No."

"Why not?"

Emily looked down at her hands. She was unsure of why she didn't ask Spencer about it. She didn't want Spencer to be upset with her… She didn't want to know, even if it was true- "I don't know," she responded.

"Where did Paige get it?" Aria asked.

"It was sent to her phone. I hav-"

"From who?"

"An unknown number."

Aria laughed. "Of course, A is messing with Paige now too. You shouldn't worry about it. How many sketchy photos do you think A has of all of us?"

"You're right," Emily said. "And Spencer has done nothing but protect us… I guess I didn't really think that through."

"Hey, you have a lot going on," Aria said, giving Emily a sympathetic smile. "We're all vulnerable right now, but we are so strong together."

"We are. Thanks for listening," Emily said, returning the smile. "I appreciate that I can talk to you about stuff."

"Anytime, Em. So, about that homework…" Aria looked at the clock and chuckled. "I've gotta go, class starts in 5 minutes. Feel free to copy my answers."

Emily grabbed the pile of papers that they were supposed to be going over together. She sat there watching Aria pack up her books.

"See you second period?" Aria asked.

"Of course," Emily said. "Thanks again, for everything."


A/N: This will probably be slow moving depending on if it sparks any interest or not. It's a fic that I originally began back in 2013, but had deleted due to a long rough patch of major depression. I'm rewriting it and hoping to take it in a different direction (for anyone who may have read it before). I've been out of writing practice for so long now, with only one-shots or short fics here and there. So, Comments, critique, reviews, anything is deeply appreciated. I hope you enjoy it. (:

Much love,
Liv