"Kyle Ron?"
Kylo presses through the small crowd, rudely pushing other out of his way to reach the counter. The barista is smiling at him warmly. Poe , his name tag says. His eyes lack that 'I'm already dead inside' feeling most people have so Kylo takes extra care to scowl at him when he rips the the drink Poe's grasp. "It's Kylo Ren."
He doesn't tip.
He's halfway out through the store when he runs into him. Quite literally.
His coffee - a grande soy vanilla latte with three pumps of hazelnut with extra caramel drizzle - flies through the air as he collides with the other man.
"The fuck?" he screeches, pulling away from the stranger just in time for the scalding coffee to come cascading down over the two of them. His yell draws the attention of many of the cafe's patrons, but he pays them no heed. "Watch where you're going, you fucker. I swear-!"
His words drift off as the man gives him a look of utter disdain. Usually, Kylo is met with fear - borderline terror really - but this man just stares back, straightening his coffee-stained tie over his coffee-stained shirt. Red hair is an unruly mess set above a sharp, pale face with exhausted eyes and yet Kylo has never been more instantaneously attracted to someone. When he speaks, his voice is as cold as ice.
"It is very, very early and I am very busy, very tired, and do not want to deal with this shit right now. For your sake, I suggest you move. Immediately."
Kylo steps aside. The man passes him, collects his order, and stomps out the door.
Kyle Ron has never once been so turned on in his life.
The door close behind the stranger and Kylo is oddly disappointed to have that ass disappear from view. Once it's gone, however, he snaps back to reality rather quickly and spends the next four minutes in a shouting match with the cafe's manager before finally receiving a new drink, free of charge.
Having ruined at least six people's days in the course of half an hour,Kylo is quite confident he can call this morning a success. And so on he goes with a spring in his step to ruin the beautiful day for everyone.
Except he didn't. He couldn't.
And he blamed the ginger stranger from the coffee shop. All day, that man haunted his thoughts. He thinks of his face, his eyes, his hair, his cold and uncaring tone... and it distracts him from his one goal in life: making other people unhappy.
When he finally arrives home that night, he is beyond frustrated. So frustrated that he doesn't even greet his mother or father, instead heading straight for his room in the basement. He only resurfaces with the promise of food, after which he immediately retreats back to safe ground.
Again, he recalls the man's face. He imagines the man lecturing, cold and calculating. Kylo doesn't pay attention to what the man is saying in his daydream but it doesn't really matter because the next moment, the same lips that spew such harsh words and drip with authority are pressed against his, silencing any complaints Kylo might have.
So maybe he lets the daydream, fantasy, whatever it is, get away with him. One moment the vision of the ginger man is pressing him against the wall, kissing him hard, and the next, he is pushed down onto his bed, the man's nimble fingers are undoing his buttoned shirt, cool fingertips brushing over his skin.
Kylo mimics the motions and pretends desperately that it is the man doing so. He gasps when the man pinches his nipples, arching into the addictive touch, then slowly moves his hands lower and lower until they slip past the hem of his undone his jeans. He tries not to moan (and fails) when the man grips his already achingly hard cock and gives it a sudden, sharp jerk.
For a few blissful moments, the stranger teases him with tauntingly slow strokes. Kylo takes this time to kick off the remainder of his clothes and then gasps as the ginger rolls his thumb over the tip of Kylo's cock, smearing the accumulated precum. He jerks his hips into the stranger's hand, immediately getting told off in that beautiful dulcet tone-
The stranger releases his throbbing erection and he whines at the lack of contact. For many moments there is nothing but then the man is flipping him over, pushing Kylo's head into the mattress and dragging his ass into the air. Fingers dance up Kylo's thighs and then -
He gasps as he imagines the man squeezing his ass, letting the first noise of satisfaction escape his lips when he realizes what a good boy Kylo is being for him- and then rewards him, with two lubed up fingers pressing into him.
Kylo muffles his moans into his pillow as he slowly works himself open. The man isn't gentle, so neither is he. Two fingers become three before he's completely ready and he relishes in the burn that accompanies it.
But then the burn is gone and all that's left is the ache for more . Kylo can imagine the stranger, still completely dressed, unzipping his pants and pulling out his erection. For a few moments the man just stands, palming his erection and watching as Kylo shivers in anticipation.
Kylo stumbles to his bedside table, ripped the door open and procured a small, bright purple vibrator. The Lightning Clean Assassin™.
The Lightning Clean Assassin ™ slips in with ease. It's small, compared to his fingers, but it'll all be worth it when -
It doesn't turn on. The batteries are dead.
With a howl of frustration, Kylo rips out The Lightning Clean Assassin™ and proceeds to chuck it across the room.
And just like that, his fantasy shatters.
He muffles a scream into his pillow.
It's sometime later that he finally wills himself to push himself off the bed. He rolls off the bed with a pathetic, upset groan. He's very bitterly disappointed. Up until now The Lightning Clean Assassin™ had never let him down and now...
He needs a shower. A very cold one. So he grabs his towel and, still sporting his hard on, marches straight to the shared family bathroom.
Now, Kylo Ren has a very particular beauty routine in order to keep up his perfect skin and flawless hair, so he immediately sets to drawing a bath while applying far too many creams and lotions to his pale skin.
And then he sees it.
He had never really thought of it before, since nothing could ever truly replace The Lightning Clean Assassin™. But with his cock still half hard and the memory of the ginger strange still haunting his thoughts (and his imagination still running wild), he decides that desperate times call for desperate measures and seizes the toothbrush.
Not his toothbrush, of course. He needed his for the end of his routine. Instead he takes his father's. It's not like it's that big of a deal - he could probably replace it before Han notices, as its only one of those cheap disposable vibrating toothbrushes.
It would have to do.
The fantasy comes back full force at this point and Kylo finds himself bending over the counter, imagining cold hands pushing him down and holding him there. His hand finds his dick again, stroking it to full hardness once more. He imagines the stranger standing behind him, idly stroking his own cock as he watches Kylo's pitiful attempts to get off.
"Do you want my cock?" The man would ask, his voice as calm and collected as it hard been this morning with the smallest sliver of anger within. He doesn't answer, just moaning as his dick twitches in his hand. He's getting close to the edge, so close- and he drops his hand, refusing to let this end like that. It would be far too anticlimactic.
"Yes," Kylo moans in response to the question that was never actually spoken, "Please."
The toothbrush flicks on in his hands and then he's pushing it inside himself, bristles first. It's girth and length is nothing compared to his precious Lightning Clean Assassin™, of course but the feeling of the bristles brushing his sensitive ... Combined with the vibrations, it's something entirely new to Kylo.
He immediately decides he greatly enjoys it.
Keeping a careful grip on the handle, Kylo withdrawals the toothbrush before thrusting it back in. He finds that spot immediately and ensures the brush skims across the sensitive bundle of nerves on the next thrust. The vibrations, the thin, scratchy bristles pressing inside him feels all too good.
He adjusts to continuously strike that spot but it's not enough, never enough, so he pushes it further, further-
"Why do you need a ride to the hospital?" Rey voice drifts from the other side of the phone. "And why can't Aunt Leia drive you?"
"Mom and Han aren't home!" Kylo stomps his foot, even though she can't see him. The movement shifts the toothbrush inside him and it takes all his willpower not to moan into the receiver. "I have a..."
He drifts off, his face painfully red.
"You have a what, Ben?" Rey asks. He's too mortified to both correct the use of his real name. "I'm free if this is an actual emergency. But I swear to god, Ben Solo, if this is something stupid again-!"
"I have a toothbrush stuck in my ass," he blurted, and there is a few moment of drawn out silence in which neither he nor his cousin say a word.
"A toothbrush."
"... Yeah."
Rey pulls into the driveway less than fifteen minutes later. She honks twice and Kylo finds himself awkwardly shuffling out the door.
Kylo silently curses his cousin when he sees two strangers - friends of hers, he imagines - sitting in the car. One of them has already claimed shotgun, so he grudgingly slips into the back seat behind Rey. He takes absolute care to slam the door as loudly as he can behind him and sees the man next to him jump.
Rey hasn't even said anything but he shoots her the most venomous glare in the rear view mirror. Mainly for bringing her friends along but also because he knows she has a thousand snarky remarks on her tongue. "Don't you dare- just, just drive."
"Woah, Rey, you didn't tell me this guy was your cousin."
The guy sitting shotgun has turned in his seat to face Kylo, smirking widely as Kylo scowls in return. Kylo recognizes him instantly. He's the sunshine-y barista, possibly the only man Kylo has ever seen happy at 7:13 in the morning. Kylo had no idea Rey was friends with him.
"Kyle, right?"
From beside Poe, Rey snorts. "Ben. Ben Solo. He's really trying for Kylo though. It's just some stupid name he made up."
"Ben, then," Poe amends, just as perky as ever. It's driving Kylo mad. "I can't believe you're related to this Rey of sunshine." Rey laughs again, this time joined by the man who sits next to Kylo. When Kylo again doesn't answer, Poe turns to Rey with a frown. "Does he have a stick up his ass or something?"
Rey grins viciously. Kylo opens his mouth to say something, at which moment Rey purposely hits a large pothole. He muffles the sinful noise into his sleeve just as Rey tells Poe,
"No, just a toothbrush."
After the laughter eventually fades and dies like whatever threads of pride Kylo had left, the remainder of the ride to the hospital is short and uneventful. The laugher is completely refreshed when Rey drops Kylo off at the door, and he can hear it as the door slams shut behind him and over the screech of tires as Rey hits the gas and speeds out of the parking lot.
The emergency room is, thankfully, rather empty when he shuffles in. The damned thing hasn't stop vibrating in him and he's sure that many of the patrons can hear it. A few look up at him as he makes his way for the desk but return to their business just as soon.
"Can I help you, Sir?" The lady sitting at the counter is blonde, tall, with sharp eyes that intimidate Kylo Ren. She has a take no shit attitude that Kylo would have admired if he didn't have to admit his situation to her.
"There's no other way to say this but," Kylo starts, avoiding her eyes and instead choosing to look at the floor. "I have a vibrating toothbrush stuck in my ass."
The lady stares at him as she gathers his information. There is no judgement in her eyes, only a blank indifference that only goes to show the horrors she's seen behind this front desk. They do look perhaps slightly broken, as though each day she becomes more numb to the world. He wonders how often people get things stuck in his ass.
"Thank you, Mr. Solo. We'll be with you in a few moments, sir. Please take your seat."
Kylo swears she smirks as she directs him to do so but he doesn't have the nerve to glare at her, so instead he shuffles over and stands next to the chair. Hopefully he looks aloof and cool, not like he has a rod of plastic shoved up his ass. Across the waiting room, a child wails in their mother's arms and a gaggle of teenagers eye him up.
This is possibly the worst day of Kylo Ren's life.
im so sorry please forgive me and my sins i hate myself but if you want you can follow me on tumblr sunshiningstardust
