Ok, so here it is.

For you who had begun to read the other Forgotten Memories, this is obviously it's rewrite.

Did my best, I know it's a little bumpy in some places still, but I constructed it so that the events start happening 2 chapters in instead of 6.

Chapter one- News

I had spent all night in the rain.

Don't ask me why, it just seemed right.

Of course, when I left the house, it wasn't raining. It had stopped and the air was fresh and smelling clean and new. I didn't know when I set out that I would get lost and not be able to find my way back through the London streets until early the next morning. I didn't know that I would return cold and wet, with tears streaming down my cheeks and my favorite dress soaked and clinging to my shivering body. I didn't know that it would practically make me sick, and make any venture out of the house for the next few days dreadful.

I had left the shop that night thinking a walk would get my mind off of things, not make things worse.

Albert died. It was sudden, well not really. I could of told you he had it coming to him for the whole time we'd been married, almost a year and a half. But to everyone else, it was sudden and horrible. When I sit back and think about it, to me, it just wasn't.

I mean, of course I was upset, and scared. But it wasn't because the man who I was suppose to be so deeply in love with was gone, but it was because now I found myself so… alone.

My husband… is gone.

I'm a widow.

The word made me shudder.

Widow

Eleanor Lovett-Widow-No children…My new title.

Benjamin often tries to comfort me, now figuring that I'm so lonely with my husband gone. He doesn't understand, no one does or ever will, that I'm no more lonely now then I was before. He offers me to come upstairs to have tea with him, his wife Lucy, and their child, only a bit over a year, Johanna. And the way he looks at me when he says "I do often worry about you now being down here all alone…" And offers to take me on a walk, it can't be mistaken.

He cares about me. I see it in his eyes. I never thought he would, but I now know he must. From the day he first walked in the shop and asked about the room above, and I caught his eyes and completely forgot about the man who would soon be home from work and besides me, to everyone else helping complete the picture of a happy couple, I never thought he'd even think about me. It took a tragedy for him to come through for me.

Mr. Barker doesn't know how much that means to me. He doesn't know how often I sway over him when I see him standing in the large window upstairs. He doesn't know the longing that I feel, especially now, at night time, in a big bed in a pitch black room, so cold and lonely. Nor does he know how much I dream about him, awake or asleep. I wish he could look at me like he looked at her.

I try not to hate Lucy, I really do. She's kind and caring. She's loving and lovely. Perhaps too lovely. It's hard to befriend someone who is everything I long to be and more. I long to be held in Mr. Barkers arms, I long to feel his lips brush against mine. I'd kill to have for one day what she has every moment.

Of course, it's all even more impossible now, than it was then.

I wish I could have told him. I wish I could have told him how much he meant to me. How much I really cared for him. I wish I could have told him before Lucy came rushing in my shop that day.

I had watched them leave that morning. Lucy, looking just a beautiful as always, Mr. Barker strolling next to her. He had announced that they were going to the market and offered for me to come with. But me not feeling well, I had said no. I now regret that. Isn't life great in that way; Always so filled with regret?

My head was pounding and my stomach ached, but being the person I am, one that wouldn't be caught dead laying in bed all day, no matter what, I had gotten up and reluctantly started the day.

I was there, in my shop, once again struggling to find the secret to making good pies; Trying to find the reason that the shop down the street, Mrs. Mooney's, had such success while mine just fell more into the pit each day.

I was lost in a dream that I had almost subconsciously floated into. Once again about Mr. Barker. Some of the day dreams were foolish, him bursting through the door, wrapping me in a hug, and dipping me into a tender kiss; others more realistic, slowly realizing his feelings and eventually coming through; most, all too realist usually ending somehow in a blunt "Nellie, you're great but Lucy is so much better," comment from the Mr. Barker in my dream. Even when I know I'm dreaming, my mind can't help but let real life seep in.

When there was a knock at my door, I came out of the place I had drifted into and looked up for the first time that day. The sun was bright the way it streamed in, it burned my eyes and I had to squint.

Making my way to the door, I was able to see who was on the other side, a rather anxious looking Lucy, hugging the baby to her chest. Confused, I let them both in. Lucy ran in and there was silence in the room except for her heavy breathing for several seconds. She suddenly swiftly turned around and peeked out of the window in the shop. Sighing, she mumbled, "Good, he hasn't followed us,"

She kissed Johanna on the head and turned around to me. She gasped as she came face to face with me, as if unaware that I was even in the shop. I looked at her in the eyes, hers big and wide (with… fear?) and mine narrowed and confused.

I looked her over. Her long, yellow hair had fallen out of her bonnet, in fact, her bonnet was completely gone. The top of her forehead was moist with sweat, like she had been running. She looked rather disturbed herself, her eyes wide and wet, and her face pale and overall holding a sense of panic.

Johanna was wrapped in her arms, a little to tight by the looks of it.

"Mrs. Barker?" I asked slowly, wondering if she was every going to tell me why she had burst in. "Wot's happened?"

Her eyes teared up, some fell down her cheek. She closed her eyes and shook her head. "Oh! Mrs. Lovett!" She sobbed.

"Shh, deary," I shushed her as I guided her and the child over to sit down in the booth that occupied a corner of the shop. We sat down together.

"Lucy! Lucy! Deep breaths, come on love. 'ere, give me the child," She handed Johanna over to me, who was being calmer then her mum.

"Now, wot 'appened?" I asked. "Wot 'appened that got you so flustered?"

She sobbed. "We were at the market! They took him! They took him away! Took him right out from under me!"

"Took who away deary?"

Silence again hung in the room. Lucy just sat across from me as if waiting for me to answer my own question. Suddenly it hit me, "Mr. Barker?"

Took him? Away? He's gone?

"Who? Who took 'im away?" I asked, beginning to become frantic myself.

"The judge! His people. His police. Him! He did!"

The judge? Judge Turpin? What did he have to do with all of this?

"Why?" I asked. It took a few seconds for her to answer. She took a few more breaths and looked out the window, as if something out there held the answer.

"That's just it, Mrs. Lovett. I don't know! He's never done anything against the law, unless of course, I didn't know about it."

Against the law? Benjamin would never do anything like that, I knew him all too well. Always paid rent on time. Practically fixed any problems he had. He even chased after a young men who had tried to steal something from me once. He would never do anything against the law.

Lucy took in a few more bumpy breaths. "After I watched them drag him off, Judge Turpin came up to me," She winced when she said his name. "He told me that if I wanted answers that I should go to his house this afternoon. But I don't want to. He makes me feel… uneasy," I didn't blame her. Judge Turpin made every woman not interested in him uneasy. "What shall I do?" Lucy asked, her eyes looking into mine, searching desperately for an answer.

Truth is I wasn't so straight minded about any of this either. The sentences floating around the room after Lucy had said them didn't seem to reach all the way to the center of my thinking. They went in my ear, I heard them, but the words didn't sink. I somehow managed to choke out a slight answer for the anxious women.

"Well, I guess you'll 'ave to go speak to him. Figure this all out. Get Mr. Barker back." I recommended, partly mono-tone, hardly thinking about when I was really advising.

She nodded her head firmly.

"Then that's what I'll do!" She stood up. I didn't look up at her now towering over me. "Thank you Mrs. Lovett." She smiled at me and took the baby out of my arms. Turning back, she said, "Would you take care of Johanna while I'm out?" I nodded.

"Course, love" I said blankly, too wrapped up in my own thoughts to barely care about what she was doing or where she was going.

"Thank you. I'll make sure to give you a nice penny for your thoughtfulness." I nodded again. She kissed Johanna on the forehead and gave the baby back to me.

"I'll be right back, deary." She said to the child in my arms. She thanked me again and left me barely knowing what had happened. All I seemed to filter was the fact that Benjamin was gone, and in the back of my mind, somehow, I knew it was for good.

So there you go, next chapter will be up soon, and it hopefully won't be so repetitive for the people who read FM before the rewrite.