Do You?

            It was an average Saturday afternoon at the Cohen household.  Ryan Atwood and Seth Cohen were lazily finishing their lunch at the poolside table, and it had been several minutes since either had said a word to one another.

            Until Seth decided to break the silence.  "So, Ryan, do you masturbate?" he asked bluntly.

            Ryan choked on the forkful of salad that he had just about swallowed.  His eyes teared up slightly from the loss of air, and one could almost see his eyes bulge from Seth's frankness.  He finally managed to get the food down.

            "Way to be blunt, Seth," he muttered, avoiding the question.

            Seth shrugged.  "Sometimes bluntness is required.  So?  You can't avoid it forever, you know.  You should know by now that I can bug you to death about this."

            "Do you?" Ryan tried.

            "Dude, that's so against the rule of question-asking.  As the saying goes, 'I asked you first,'" Seth said, a smirk evident in his voice, though his lips showed no expression.

            "Why are you so curious?" Ryan wondered aloud, and it wasn't really as much a postponement as an honest question.

            "Because as far as I know," Seth said, taking a bite as if this was an everyday conversation, "every guy does it.  I mean, obviously there's going to be exceptions.  And since you're not the average guy – at least, not in Newport standards – I thought I'd ask you.  Not to mention, you're my best friend, and it is kind of a best friend question."

            The last part was obviously meant for sympathy points, and Ryan began to roll his eyes.  He caught himself, but he felt the Newport hand clutching him tighter and knew that he would be enveloped before long.  "So basically, if I say yes, I cause embarrassment to myself by being so straightforward.  And if I deny it or don't answer, you take that as a yes anyway."

             "Basically," Seth said.  "No, but really.  If you don't, I'll believe you.  I'm just curious.  Just say yes or no, dude.  You don't have to feel embarrassed around me."

            There was a stretch of silence, which was obviously more painful for Ryan than it was for Seth, which was an oddity.

             "Well?" Seth prompted.

             "Yes," Ryan said, half blurting accidentally, half being broken.

            Seth raised an eyebrow.  "Really?"

             "Well… it's not like I do it obsessively.  Just… once in a while," Ryan blushed.  Ryan blushedRyan.  "When… you know."

             "When Marissa's not around?" Seth smirked, visibly this time.

             "Yes," Ryan said through gritted teeth.

            Seth nodded.  There was another short pause before Seth said, "So, did you get the history homework done?  I'm kinda confused on some of the Civil War stuff…."

            Ryan shook his head.  How Seth could do that to him all the time, acting like nothing had happened, was beyond him.  But… well, that was Seth.

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