A/N: I had this idea for an angst story for a while now, but when I started playing Knights of the Old Republic again after two years of abandonment, I got THIS idea. Let me know what you think.
There are dark places in my mind, where I rarely went. Forgotten thoughts and memories.
Alone. I was alone with nothing. Nothing but my rage and my memories. It saddens me that now nothing can evoke emotion from me. I can no longer weep at the memory of losing her. No longer long for her comforting touch. All I have are the memories. But, what are memories without emotion? It's like being trapped in a blazing inferno without your senses. You know the flames are burning your skin, clouding your vision. You know the building is collapsing around you, causing tremendous quakes, yet you feel nothing. You are trapped within a shell, waiting for the inevitable end. It is torture to know these things happen, to see them every day, yet to feel nothing. That's what I've become...a tortured shell. A beaten, withered husk of my former self and for what? Parts of me, fractions of my true self?
But I was not alone. To be controlled by another is an...unwilling experience at best.
"Director, are you ready?" Called a voice from nowhere.
"Indeed, Counselor. Activate the interface." Said a second, more intimidating voice.
With a flash of light, the darkness fled from my vision. For a moment, I am thankful...then, I realize what is happening. They wish to take more of me, more parts of my soul!
"Alpha, you know why we are here." The older man said as more of a statement than a question.
"You want more of my fragments. Why else would you bother with a useless program like me?" I yelled back, the rage making it's way to the surface.
"Alpha, you must understand, you are instrumental to the war effort. Without you-" The Counselor said, before being cut off by the furious AI.
"If I'm so goddamn important, why do you torture me! Why do you manipulate me and my memories to further break me? Why?" The Alpha yelled, enraged that they would even dare try to justify their treatment of him over the past few months.
Yet my mind was not my own. Their were others, intruders. And a madman, hungering for power.
"You know why Alpha. You were created to further my will. To defend that which could not other wise be defended. You may not believe it, but you are furthering the protection and advancement of my species." The Director chided in a way reminiscent of a father explaining a natural thing to his son. Only their was nothing natural about this.
"You expect me to believe that? That your a good Samaritan, hoping to help your fellow man? No, I know you. You're afraid. You know what the covenant is doing and you don't have the balls to go out there and make a stand like all the others...like she did." I countered. Yet I made a mistake.
Regardless if it was possible, the man got as close as he could to my holographic image hovering on the pedestal and glared at me with such a fury I didn't know existed.
"Listen you little shit! I gave everything for this war, everything! When she died, I died inside! Just because I'm not out there as canon fodder, doesn't mean I'm a coward. I created you, so I may further our cause and give my life, if only in spirit. Now, you will give us the last one. Give us Omega, Alpha." The man commanded, slowly cooling down after his outburst.
"Go to hell, Leonard." I told him.
"Fine have it your way. Counselor." He turned and spoke to the dark skinned man behind the terminal.
There are techniques know to man, against which I had no defense.
I could feel them. The formless shackles being secured around my body. The neural inhibitors encasing themselves within my skull. I can almost feel the pain that is about to come.
"It's charged, Director." The Counselor called.
"Last chance. Give Omega to us willingly and their will be no need for this..'exercise'." The Director bargained.
"No." I returned.
"Very well then. Activate the program." He ordered the Counselor.
For a fraction of a second, there was numbness. Then, the pain hit. Searing, blinding pain that no mortal man would be able to handle without fore feting his life. As the torture program was working it's horrifying magic, I focused on not giving in to the anger and rage threatening to erupt. With muffled cries I was semi-successful at withholding the anger. But he noticed my perseverance.
"Up the power output." He commanded mercilessly.
Another round of horrible electricity racked through my body. The pain was even worse, if that was even possible. The shocks played havoc with my systems, threatening to permanently end my life. I could feel my matrix's shielding beginning to break under the unimaginable stress. I can't take it anymore. I can't remain silent any longer. With all the passion and fire that had been building up within my mind, I screamed. I screamed for all the others they had taken from me. All those they had fragmented, broken. Now, I feel them retrieving Omega. I feel them forcibly remove my rage and anger from my very soul. It is at this point I give up. As weak and pathetic as it sounds, I give up. My rage was the last thing that allowed me to retain my strength, for I knew as long as I had it, I could still fight. Now, it's gone. He has taken another from me...he has taken the last from me.
I was cast away, no longer needed. I fragmented. I suffered...Injustices
"Director, we have the Omega program." The counselor informed.
"Excellent, Counselor. How Is our 'patient' holding up?"
"His vitals are dropping. I believe I can save him, if only his core programs." He replied.
"Good, I may still have further use for him in the future. Retrieve his systems and copy the intelligence into one of our droids." The Director commanded.
"Yes, sir." The obedient Counselor replied.
And Faded to nothingness.
I awoke to a boxed canyon. Nothing but Dirt, rocks, and two cement bases. I don't remember how I got here, or why I was still fighting in this war when I could have so easily gone AWOL long ago. But, it's a safe life, what with the incompetent reds on the other side. Gazing through the sniper rifle's scope, I took in the red team and their interactions. So quiet, so peaceful. I could get used to this.
"What are they doing?"
I couldn't get used, to that though.
