One. Dan.
The train was picking up speed, pulling out of New Haven, and all that Dan could feel was the most unbelievable sense of relief. Yale, it had turned out, was not all it was cracked up to be. 9 months ago, he had arrived there, bags in hand. He had been fresh, excited and ready to face what he thought would be a stimulating and new academic and social life. He had been looking forward to a new sort of life and a new sort of people, but he had been sorely disappointed. Dan now knew that it was true what they said, high school never did end. Dan wished that it was Blair Waldorf, instead of him that had gone to Yale, she would have loved it. It was populated by people exactly like her, unbelievably rich, snobbish and painfully hierarchical, only with a variety of accents. Dan had made it through Freshers Week*, clinging to a group of bewildered scholarship students, he had hoped that his classes, at least would be all he had hoped. How wrong could he have been, it seemed to Dan that new ideas were scoffed at as unpolished; studying merely consisted of learning the opinions of other people and writing to a dull, prescripted style, rather than actually thinking for himself. He had taken his fathers advice and stuck it out for a year, but enough was enough. He was coming home.
He hadn't really kept in touch with anyone in New York, he called his Dad and Jenny every so often, Vanessa called him once a month and that was about it. He and Serena had tried to keep in touch, but it just made everything harder. He kept up with everyone else through the most reliable source he knew – Gossip Girl.
But it was hard for Dan. It was hard for him to hear Vanessa talk about she and Nate's problems, which so often mirrored the ones he and Serena had once had that it physically hurt him. It was hard to talk to Jenny, she was so vivacious, full of life, she was developing a line for TopShop on the side of her schoolwork, and was going to go to London this summer to complete it, they would only have a few days together, he hated to admit it, but he resented her because her dreams were coming true and his were dead in the water. He remembered joking, threes Christmas's ago that his life had peaked. This had turned out to be something of a self-fulfilling prophecy. What was especially hard for Dan was to see Serena; she was everywhere, page 6, American Apparel ads, Gossip Girl, magazine covers and, most of all, his dreams.
A woman sat down next to Dan, taking out a magazine, they both glanced at each other, before double taking.
"Dan? Is that you? What the fuck happened?"
It was Lexie, and Dan briefly noted that she was still hot. He knew he looked different. He was different. He was thinner now. He shaved a little less and drank a whole lot more. In New York, he never drank, but being away from home had changed him. He no longer had the "puppy dog" look in his eyes, and although he judged people a lot less now, he also cared less.
Dan shrugged, he knew how self-righteous Lexie could be, and he didn't want to be lectured by someone else about failing to make it at Yale.
"Life's what's fucking happened" she muttered "What're you doing here? I've never seen you out the city."
Dan hesitated "I was at Yale . . . "he wasn't planning on telling Lexie any more, but she had opened her magazine, was flipping through. The aggressive energy that had once surrounded here had dissipated, he felt he could tell her ". . . but the years over and I don't think I'm going back."
He readied himself for the shocked gasp, the "no!" but what Lexie said surprised him. It had been a long time since anyone had surprised Dan.
"Shouldn't have gone in the first place. You, Dan Humphrey, belong in the city and with a certain blonde. I saw that a year and half ago, and its still the same today."
Dan smiled, it wasn't a big smile, but it was something for a guy who had spent the past six months brooding, drinking and sleeping with random girls. Lexies' bluntness was like a window to a former life.
"You're right about the first part at least."
Lexies turned away from her magazine to give him a shrewd look "I'm right about all of it, I take it you and Serena are still doing what you do best then?"
Dan remembered that he was speaking to Aaron Roses' best friend and that she must know about him and Serena's' on-again-off-again drama.
"Not really, we haven't spoken in months."
"Miss her?" Lexie asked, flipping through her magazine.
"It's not like she hasn't been around" said Dan, indicating, the GAP ad on the page opposite to the article Lexie was scanning, Serena's frozen smile splayed across the page.
Lexie chuckled – "yeah, I saw that, she's pretty unavoidable these days. Didn't I say those pictures of Aaron's looked like GAP ad?"
"How is Aaron?" Dan didn't ask out of any interest or with any enthusiasm, but because it was what the old Dan Humphrey would have done, to make conversation, to be polite. Suddenly, Dan wanted to feel like himself again.
Without looking up from her article, Lexie waggled the fingers of her left hand at Dan; the diamonds on her fourth finger caught the light and played with it across the back of her hand. "Engaged" she said, without any enthusiasm, "And in Bruges" she added "We live there now. I'm only here to visit my parents."
"I never thought you'd get married."
"I'm not. Yet. But you know what Aarons like, he pretends to be all liberal but he's as traditional as you deep down. I love him though so . . ." she trailed off absent-mindedly. She looked at something non-existent in the middle distance for a moment before pulling herself back to the conversation, " . . . so here I am."
"Here you are" said Dan softly, looking at her intently.
Lexie looked up, then started, "Shit. At my stop. It was great catching up with you Dan, remember what I told you."
And she was gone as quickly as she had appeared, leaving Dan alone with his thoughts.
