Author's Note: Good evening all. Or good morning, depending on when you are reading this...
You've found my new fic! I hope you like it. It will be updated weekly. I stick to deadlines now. Deadlines are cool.
Disclaimer: I own nothing related to the Harry Potter universe and I'm not making any money from this.
Hermione hadn't realised how much she'd been thrashing about until Ron's swearing woke her up.
"What happened?!" she asked, sitting bolt upright in the dark room.
"You kicked me in the balls," Ron replied through gritted teeth.
"Oh. I forgot we weren't in the tent anymore," she whispered as she remembered where she was.
It had been less than twenty-four hours since Harry had defeated Tom Riddle; many people who had fought in the final battle were now sleeping in the hospital wing, which had magically expanded to fit the demand.
Ron and Hermione had squeezed into one bed, which seemed bigger now than it had when they had first collapsed into it, hours earlier.
"No need to say sorry," Ron griped when he realised an apology was not forthcoming.
"Sorry," Hermione said absent-mindedly whilst taking in her surroundings.
Looking at her wrist watch, she was surprised to see that it was one in the afternoon. She realised that a charm must've been cast to allow people to sleep without daylight to disturb them.
Every bed was occupied and Hermione noticed several people checking on the patients. She presumed they were healers from St. Mungo's. One bed had a curtain drawn around it, but Hermione could tell that several people were tending to the patient behind it; there was a great deal of hurried whispering.
Before long, the curtain was drawn back and the bed and its occupant were levitating forward, a group of healers walking alongside. Hermione wasn't normally the nosy type, but she found herself straining her neck to catch a glimpse of whoever required so much medical attention. However, the healers were also acting as a human shield.
The sound of snoring told Hermione that Ron had gone back to sleep. She lay back down alongside him, but sleep eluded her as the events of the last day, week, month, year swirled around her mind. She couldn't shake the feeling of impending doom that had manifested within her during the course of the last seven years.
At first, it had felt like an adventure, trying to stop Snape (or so they had thought at the time) from stealing the philosopher's stone. She'd enjoyed all of the research that she'd carried out to figure out what was going on that year. It wasn't until Ron had sacrificed himself in that game of chess that she'd started to realise that they were potentially risking their lives.
The following year had been no better, and by the time she'd completed her third year at Hogwarts, she'd come to realise, and accept, that her life was going to be in danger until such a time s Voldemort had been defeated.
The last year had certainly been the toughest; the long days in the tent with nothing to do but get on each other's nerves had sometimes left Hermione questioning whether they'd ever make any progress. She'd never voiced her concerns, of course, for fear of discouraging the boys.
Sighing as she realised that she wouldn't be getting any more sleep, Hermone slipped out of the bed and made her way to the Great Hall. She'd slept in the clothes that she'd been wearing since arriving in Hogsmeade the previous night, but didn't feel self concious about it as she might have done on any other day.
The mood in the hall was sombre. Last night's victims had been removed, but their families remained. Hermione glanced around, and saw members of the Weasley family gathered in a corner. Ginny was asleep in an armchair, with Percy sat on the arm. Mr and Mrs Weasley were both staring into space, their eyes red and puffy. She couldn't bring herself to approach them, preferring to leave them to grieve as a family.
Instead, Hermione wandered into the castle grounds. It was a warm day, the sun beating down from a cloudless sky. She made her way down to the lake, trying to block the memories of last night from her mind. She was relieved to see Harry sitting under a large oak tree on the bank of the lake.
He looked up as she approached and gave his friend a sad smile. Hermione sat next to him and held his hand as they both gazed out at the lake.
"Did you sleep at all?" she finally asked him.
"A bit. Not well though. You?" Harry replied.
"Same. I accidentally kicked Ron in a sensitive area though," she added with a chuckle.
Harry smiled briefly at his friend's plight.
"I didn't want anyone to die for me, Hermione," he said quietly.
Hermione considered Harry's statement for a moment before replying.
"They didn't die for you, Harry. They died for their families, and their futures. Whether You Know Who had tried to kill you or not, he would still have been seeking power, may even have found it without having you as a distraction."
"My mum and dad died for me..."
"As any parent would to protect their child."
Harry thought about Lupin and Tonks dying for Teddy. He thought about the Dursleys and the Malfoys, and knowing they would all do anything to protect their sons.
"You were prepared to die for the entire world," Hermione continued. "So no one is going to think any less of you because of our losses. Our gains far outweigh the sacrifices. We all knew the risks of fighting alongside you, but we also knew the risks of not fighting. It's cruel that we lost family and friends. But we have the ability to make new friends and family because of those sacrifices. By dwelling on those that we've lost, we undermine them. They died for nothing. Its not going to be easy, Harry, but we should honour their memories. For the first time in seven years, we don't have to fight; we can live."
Whilst Harry was considering her words, Hermione had the realisation that there was nothing for her to do any more, and that she had no idea what to do next. Once the fallout from the battle was over, once appropriate funerals and memorials had taken place, she had no plans, no timetable, no deadlines.
The empty feeling she had experienced since waking earlier now turned into a heavy weight in the pit of her stomach. She felt her heartbeat quickening, and before she could stop herself, her whole body was shaking from wracking sobs and tears fell freely down her face.
