The warmth of the morning sun was just cresting over the shadowy treetops in Konohagakure, the pinkish orange streaks fading quickly throughout the sky. The glistening dew firmed and relinquished its hold on its drowning captives, and the blades of grass fanned about and spread involuntarily from the early breeze. A soft air blew crisply through a half-cocked window on the south side of the city, gently ruffling the edges of someone's heart-pattern boxers.

The person in question, unconsciously reacting to the drifting sensations, couldn't help but to reach down, shifting his legs so that they leaned away from each other, and throw his hand down his pants. It was a base instinct to him, to immediately cover his most tender parts, just as it was instinct for him to mumble loudly while doing it.

"Oh, Sakura-chan," he murmured sleepily, fidgeting again before flipping onto his stomach, effectively trapping his hand. Half-giggles erupted from his mouth as he dreamed of frolicking in strawberry fields with a certain strawberry-haired kunoichi. Unbeknownst to him, of course, in the doorway stood a disturbingly amused Sage, a very pervy one, in fact, who was currently scribbling down the details in a mustard yellow notebook; he was recording a log for the daily dreams of the average horny shinobi, and Naruto was proving to be a very good test subject. It also didn't hurt that this would work as extremely useful blackmailing tools in the future.

He waited a few heartbeats longer, checking over his observations, before snapping the booklet shut with a satisfied look on his weathered face. Walking the few steps into the room where his student lay sleeping, he kicked the bed harshly, attempting to jolt him awake. A mop of blonde hair suddenly started underneath the misplaced blankets, and within moments, only a few inches below the figure's lightning spikes, a large, yawning cavern (otherwise known as Naruto's mouth) could be seen gaping, and was likely heard groaning throughout the shabby inn they were taking residence in.

Blinking the sleep crust from his bleary eyes, Naruto turned to Jiraiya with a sour expression. "Ero-sennin…" he started.

"Damnit, gaki, I told you not to call me that!" Jiraiya snarled half-heartedly, before sweat dropping at the hopelessness of his situation. Noticing the suspicious child before him beginning to open his mouth, he quickly reached over and clamped his large hand over it, regaining control of the situation. "Alright, now listen to me very carefully," he rushed on, conscious of the limited span of silence. "No one is to know we are here. That means: No hanging out with that lazy Nara," he ticked off on his fingers, "No playing house with that dog kid, no visiting that cursed noodle shack, and no running through Konoha with twenty-two buckets of sticky rice and rainbow glitter!" He put a menacing edge into his tone towards the end of his rant, ignoring Naruto's sullen glare.

"That was one time!"

"Whatever!" Jiraiya snapped. "The point is, kid, we are here for an espionage mission. Not even Tsunade knows we're back in town, and I plan to keep it that way. What kind of sensei would I be if I had you make a dramatic exit only to show up a couple weeks later?" he questioned, seemingly horrified at the notion. "You are to stay in this room the entire time," he said casually, ignoring the sudden blanch in the room.

"Over the course of the next two days, I will be out, ahem, gathering intelligence for our undercover operation," he continued smoothly.

"But, why!" Naruto cried, his (suddenly) alert blue eyes searching his sensei's face, threatening to spill over with tears.

"Don't give me that face, gaki, you know it only works with either A) those who don't know you and B) women. And let me tell you, I know enough about women to know that I most definitely am not one," he leered, not noticing Naruto's disgusted cringe.

"Please, Ero-sennin!" he pleaded desperately, in spite of his renewed distaste for his teacher. "I haven't been home in weeks! I won't meet anyone I know, dattebayo, and I promise not to do anything bad!" Naruto was frantic at the thought of being cooped in the dingy room for even more than another hour. Just sleeping the night in here seemed to have clogged up his lungs with despair and the grungy atmosphere only a true lowlife exudes; the inn was around down town, so it was no surprise there, but it was still despicable.

"Besides, if you let me go out, then I won't call you Ero-sennin for a whole two days," he said happily, ignoring the twitch in his sensei's snow white eyebrow.

"I'll be gone for two days, brat."

"Exactly," Naruto grinned, a rare cunning glint in his eye. The Toad Sage slapped a palm over his face, rubbing wearily for a second. He took a moment to think it over, having expected his student to protest. Actually, he may have been banking on the prospect of him being too sleepy to be effective, but that obviously wasn't working here. That one little sentence had apparently had the same affect on Naruto as three large cups of Suna's best coffee beans.

"Alright, kid, last inch I'm giving here," he finally sighed, dreading the look of excitement on the boy's face. Kami knew there was no point arguing with the delinquent, and even if he refused, Naruto would likely get out anyways. "You are allowed to go only three places," he said firmly, somehow finding himself not believing Naruto's enthused nods.

"Obviously, you have to be here, either to sleep or study," he said, pretending not to notice his student's scoff, "you are allowed to go to Training Ground 76 –"

"But Ero- Jiraiya, there is no Training Ground 76," Naruto interrupted.

"Actually, there is a Training Ground 76, you simpleton, it's just that you never bothered to go farther than your own to actually discover it. Although, it is very secluded and not well known, which is why I picked it," he admitted. "Anyways, you are to go there if you are in need of practice, and -"

"But I have nothing to practice!" Naruto exploded. "You haven't taught me anything!" he complained, waving his arms around.

Thwack! Jiraiya's fist impacted off the loud blonde's ear, his own impatience finally boiling over. "Either shut up and let me finish talking, or you're not even getting the third option," he growled, feeling accomplished when he saw Naruto glaring at him balefully and cradling the side of his head. He was no Tsunade, but he was sure he knew how to throw a good right hook.

Jiraiya let out a long breath before speaking again. "The third option is, and I think you'll enjoy this one, even though you hardly deserve it…" he stopped abruptly and counted down mentally, trying to add effect. "The Hot Springs!" He wiggled his eyebrows crazily at Naruto.

"Sheesh, its like he feeds those things soldier pills. I wonder if he's ever jealous of Bushier-Brow sensei when he sees those bad boys? Naruto's mind wondered.

"Yahoo!" he whooped, instantly able to envision his aches and sore muscles melting away in the bubbling waters. "You're the best Ero-sennin! See you in two days!" he cried, before speeding off, faster than even Jiraiya could respond.

The old ninja, suddenly alone, blinked, and scratched his head at the blonde blur that was just now Naruto. "Gee, that kid sure is fast when he wants to be. Why do I feel like I'm going to regret this decision though?" He turned to head through the doorway before freezing, his blood running cold when he finally registered his student's parting words.

"That little shithead didn't even last five minutes."

XxX

Naruto sighed in contentment, lowering his upper half even farther into the scalding water. For an ordinary citizen, it hit the spot at just a little too much heat, but for his trained and adaptable body, it felt amazing at the perfect temperature. Sinking further, he closed his eyes and blew softly at the steam surrounding his face, which seemed to be practically clinging to the whisker marks pressed onto his face. For at least an hour, he floated in a precipice of continual warmth, in a state of half-sleep; which is why when he first heard the voice, he would've sworn he was only dreaming.

"Listen, Ino-pig, I don't criticize your assets, you shouldn't criticize mine," a high-pitched feminine voice said stiffly.

Sakura-chan? Naruto sat up quickly, the warmed droplets sliding off of his bare body into the geyser below. His heartbeat thumped a little faster, and he made to get up, before remembering his promise (and, let's not forget, nudeness). He slipped back into the water as quietly as possible, and figured if he couldn't interact with her, he could at least somehow be around her. Besides, he had been here first, and if he left now, she would definitely see him, and then the trouble would really start. He was grateful there seemed to be no one else on the boy's side of the springs. When he'd first arrived, he'd mulled that over for a little bit, before chalking it up to the villagers either being occupied with something town-related, or him having come on a bad day.

He heard what he could only assume to be Ino's loud, boisterous voice bounce over the thin paper wall separating the male and female pools. Not many people he knew A) had that nickname, and B) managed to sound girly and playful yet gratingly irritating at the same time. As he was soon to find out, that was quite similar to how most people viewed him when he spoke, however.

"I'm just saying, Forehead, with a chest like that, it's no wonder no one ever notices you're a girl! If it weren't for that pink hair, I'm not sure that even I would be able to tell. In fact, looking now, up close, and making a fair comparison between us, I don't think I quite believe you're female from the waist up." Naruto blushed and turned his face away from the general direction of their voices, hearing what seemed to be a fairly large group of people clamber into the water, not ten feet away. Who else is there? He wondered.

A huff of annoyance, presumably from Sakura, arose, coupled with the smacking sounds of splashing water, and a sudden yelp indicating that Ino got her due.

"Y-you guys, we s-sh-shouldn't fight!" A small voice stammered. Only one person Naruto knew ever spoke like that, and no other had quite that mix of trepidation and resolve when speaking out. He felt a brief pulse of surprise that the Hyuuga heiress was here, however; as shy as she was, he was a bit startled that she was comfortable laying it all out in front of their friends, even if there were only girls.

It seems Hinata's here too, he mused to himself, and resolved to figure out the identities of all the other girls present. He had found a way to entertain himself, it seemed.

"Oh, don't worry, Hinata-chan, Forehead and I are always like this," Ino chuckled, in somewhat of a darkly intimate manner. "Of course, if she would only relinquish hold of Sasuke-kun to me," she started smugly, before trailing off when she realized what she had said. Naruto winced from his position over yonder, and felt a pang in his chest when he heard only silence and the sounds of water shifting. For a while, nothing was said, and a palpable tension that could compete with the warm steam surrounding the springs spread out over the immediate vicinity.

"Way to go, blondie." A clear voice emerged dryly, laced with amusement. Naruto's eyebrows crinkled in confusion at the familiar tone, older than that of the rest so far; he racked his brain, going through a list of possible women. Then his eyes widened in fear, and his heart stuttered a bit when he realized who it might be. Her next words only confirmed his suspicions.

"Don't worry, Pinky, cheer up! Take some dango, why don't you?" The voice of Anko drifted over sweetly. Naruto shuddered to hear such a girlish inclination in her words; it would seem girls acted differently towards each other. Why hadn't he ever noticed that before?

Someone cleared their throat. "No thank you, Anko-sensei," she responded, and even the self-admitted unobservant Naruto could sense that Sakura was now uncomfortable.

He heard the tinkling of someone else entering the water.

More people? He frowned, curious as to the newcomer's status. He felt a touch disappointed in himself; he'd only been gone for about six weeks and he could barely recall the girls in his village. This was disappointing to him, especially considering the level of hotness they all seemed to effortlessly exude. Blondes, pinkettes, bluenettes, purplettes, brunettes, and black-haired women, Konoha seemed to have it all covered in that department; the only thing they seemed to be missing was redheads, but ever since Gaara, Naruto felt maybe he could pass on that one. It was too bad though, really; a couple months back he and Kiba had somehow accidentally got their grubby little paws on an adult movie, and he'd been itching to see a red head in real life. They seemed wild and fiery, traits he could definitely associate with, although at this point, thanks to Sakura, he wasn't sure he needed any more women like that. Still, they were definitely hot. He would even go so far as to compare them to peppers, from what he'd gathered about them anyways, so long as they didn't conceal one-tailed demons within those killer bodies.

And geez, would someone take a look at the rack the Hokage was packing? Snapping himself out of his trance when he heard a name, he paused and took a moment to reorient himself and his train of thoughts. Perhaps he was spending too much time with Ero-sennin.

"Anyways, since we're talking about Sasuke-kun, you just wont believe what I heard on the way here!" Ino chirped gleefully. She waited a few expectant moments before plunging on again. "What? No one's going to ask me what I heard? It's probably nothing, but it sure could be something."

Someone a bit farther off from the rest sighed. "What did those ears of yours manage to pick up this time, Ino-chan?" A bored voice sounded.

Naruto's ears perked up as well, somewhat interested in what she'd picked up. Everyone knew Ino was a notorious gossip, and even if it wasn't true, she was certainly entertaining in her quest to spread smack talk.

"Why, Tenten-chan, I'm so glad you asked!" Ino cried delightedly, apparently not hearing the muttered thanks from the rest of the group. "On the way here, I couldn't help but overhear someone say something about an orange blur speeding to Kami knows where. Now I don't know about you, but who is the only abomination that deigns to wear that 'color'?" she questioned triumphantly.

Naruto's heart, which had finally begun beating normally, stopped cold, and likely would have stayed that way if not for the constant heat around him and the fur ball in his belly.

I thought I was pretty unnoticeable, Naruto thought miserably, before hearing the rest of her sentence and bristling indignantly. Orange is cool! He huffed mentally.

A thoughtful pause enveloped the group, before Hinata's normally soft voice pierced through the fog of human stress at the hot springs. "Naruto-kun!" Her voice rang out, obviously somewhat flabbergasted.

"Naruto?" Sakura repeated disbelievingly. "Well, it'd be just like that fool to leave for two years and come back not two months later," she chuckled.

"Still, I doubt that old pervert with him would bring him back so soon. Besides, if Jiraiya-sama were in town, we'd have known about it by now. The amount of reported peeping and walls that Hokage-sama's punched through always increases when he's around," a welcoming voice reasoned.

Shizune-neechan! Naruto guessed. Huh. I never would have thought she'd be hanging around with a bunch of kunoichi, or even Anko-sensei. Thinking about it, she probably doesn't have anything better to do on her days off, especially with all the running around she does for baachan. I can't believe I'm noticing all these things now.

A warm, careful voice cautioned, "Either way, we shouldn't be so sure that it is Naruto, even if it is a bit strange. It's best that we leave him be, however, if it's really him; in the off chance that he is truly here, he might be on a mission and that is why he has not checked in with the rest of us."

"Yes, Kurenai-sensei," a chorus of kunoichi sounded together, in a seemingly practiced manner.

"Yes, Kurenai-sensei," Anko snickered afterwards, somewhat taken by the way in which the younger girls followed her.

"Yeah, well, Naruto and the word espionage don't really go together," Ino snorted, setting off a round of laughter.

Naruto sweat dropped and dipped another inch of his body beneath the warm surface of the water. A blush was quickly making its way up his torso, and it had nothing to do with the temperature. It didn't help at all that her words rang absolutely true.

"Neither do Naruto and orange," Sakura chimed in, giggling. Another two inches of Naruto's small frame sunk below the murky surface, and he felt that specific, sensitive muscle in his chest squeeze uneasily tighter with every word, not even including the offhanded one's flying out of his long time crush's mouth.

The shallow laughter quickly died down, and all was relaxed on the other side of the "wall", none the wiser to the suffering blonde male just off to the side. Naruto was trying to calm himself down and ignore the slight burning sensation in his cheeks, relieved that the conversation concerning him had come to a standstill. Just as he was beginning to talk himself back up, he heard someone clear their throat nervously.

"W-what do y-you think of Naruto-k-kun?" Hinata asked, almost a little tersely. Naruto screwed his eyes shut, and day dreamed of banging his head against a wall, or any hard surface, really. He was surprised and grateful when no one immediately spoke up, then wished he hadn't gotten his hopes up when someone finally did.

"He has… potential? I don't really know too much about him," Kurenai said haltingly.

"He has horrible fashion sense, he's extremely loud, annoying, he's brash, he can't put his yen where his mouth is, he's unnecessarily cocky, he's horrible to be around, an absolute jerk, he uses every possible opportunity to bother people, he's a danger to women everywhere, he's exceedingly clumsy, the biggest idiot in Konoha, an embarrassment, with no sense of atmosphere or moods and feelings, and he's blonde. Plus, he thinks he's better than Sasuke-kun," Ino finished with a flourish.

By the time she'd finished, Naruto had steadily sank to the bottom of the hot spring, bubbles rushing towards the spot he just vacated, his eyes comically rolled in the back of his head. He, and unknown to him, all the females on the other side, had their jaws wide open, too. Naruto was almost more shocked that she had managed that eager rant in practically one breath than the fact that she could have written a book on all the ways to insult him.

"Uh…Ino-chan? Aren't you a blonde, too?" Tenten ventured tentatively.

"Well, yes, but it looks good on me! I don't know, there's just something unattractive about him. I, personally, like dark hair on a man," she said exasperatedly, and a bit suggestively.

"Are you sure you aren't just saying that because Sasuke-kun has black hair?" Sakura laughed. A few more bubbles popped on the water's surface not twenty feet away.

"Oh, whatever! That's not the point. Hinata asked what we all thought about Naruto-baka, and I was the only one who really answered the question. Now it's your turn; after all, he's your teammate. Shouldn't you have the most to say about him?"

A blonde head instantly popped out of the steaming waters, pride and feelings almost forgotten at the bottom of the pool; he was interested in hearing this.

"I-Ino-chan has a v-valid point, S-sakura-ch-chan," Hinata stuttered out, sounding conflicted. "Although, I-I believe it w-w-was a b-bit too h-harsh." Naruto was grateful that at least Hinata seemed to think a little better of him than the others, but he was also somewhat irritated with her for bringing him up in the first place. Why was she so questioning, anyway? Weren't shy people supposed to be timid?

"Aw, you're just saying that because you have a crush on him," Anko teased, getting an instant flaming blush out of the girl, and unwittingly giving Naruto a minor seizure. On the side opposite the guileless females, Naruto flopped around in the water like a dying fish, clutching at his overworked heart and panicking, heaving silently. Blue orbs were spinning like the Lucky Machines Tsunade always gambled with, rocketing in streaks of bright cerulean within his eye sockets. His body jerked and convulsed a few times in incredulousness, spraying water everywhere as he splashed about. His body threatened to bend in on itself, and his limbs thrashed about dramatically; his ninja training apparently had paid off, because all of this was accomplished in relative silence, unnoticed by the girls. After a few more curving dashes around the water's edge, he wearily returned to his spot on the ledge and allowed the water to carry his weight. To say he was surprised was an understatement. Well, now his question was answered.

"T-t-th-that's n-not true!" Hinata's voice burst forth desperately. "I-I just… j-ju-just… h-he's on-only-"

"Only the love of your life!" Tenten's voice broke in teasingly.

"I don't really see why, though," Ino muttered.

"Shut up, Blondie, at least her dream man isn't on the run with a convicted killer," Anko threw in, a little sharper than she had intended. "Then again, I'm not all that sure you could call that male-counterpart of yours a man, either," she said thoughtfully.

"Anko, that's enough!" Kurenai snapped. All this repeated talk of Naruto vs. Sasuke was becoming a thorn in her side, and on top of that was only serving to make more than one girl upset.

"Hey, wait a minute! Male-counterpart? You wouldn't be talking about me, would you Sensei?" Ino practically shouted, unparalleled surprise bound in every upturned note. Naruto turned green on his side, especially horrified at the notion of being anything like Ino at all, let alone a man's version of her. Hell, he couldn't even say that, considering they didn't even think of him as one.

I think that's the worst thing they've said about me as of yet, Naruto almost whimpered in his mind. Ino, he shuddered. Sure, she's okay-looking, but considering that snobbish attitude, the way she's always mean to Sakura-chan, and her pathetic fixation on Sasuke, it kind of blasts her out of the running, he thought, smugly satisfied.

When only silence greeted her, Ino's panic grew proportionately, and quite verbally. "What are you talking about?! But, then you mean, - all that stuff I just said about him, guys!" She groaned out, and Naruto could envision in his mind's eye the stricken expression she most likely wore, as well as her waving her arms around blatantly, and the probable head banging likely to ensue.

Yeah, we're absolutely nothing alike. Besides, the bitch in her is too strong for even me too conquer, he thought to himself, undoubtedly convinced.

"Whatever you say, Piggy," Sakura snickered.

Sakura-chan, no! Naruto moaned mentally. Don't listen to them!

"Hmm," Sakura pondered. "Naruto. He's…" She hesitated. "Very special." A round of laughter echoed, and it took a few heartbreaking moments (for Naruto) before she continued again. "No, really," she insisted, slightly out of breath. "I can't really dispute what Ino-pig said about him earlier, but I think, maybe he's just someone you have to get… used to?" She started weakly.

"U-used too?" Hinata asked curiously.

"I mean, don't get me wrong, he's the most annoying person I've ever come across, he's pretty stupid, not the best looking guy either, extremely childish and mostly a jerk, but underneath all that… he can be a nice guy sometimes." Everyone took a few seconds to let that digest properly, before Naruto heard Sakura start snorting wildly.

"Ah, who am I kidding? He's the biggest loser ever, but he's Konoha's loser!"

Naruto's stomach twisted and clenched painfully, and he realized now why girls always told boys not to eavesdrop on their private conversations. This was positively sickening. There was a ringing in his ears and his face burned from embarrassment. So now he knew how everyone really felt about him.

Biggest loser ever, huh?

A drop of water chose that exact moment to fall from one of his slicked-back hair spikes onto his cheek, trickling right along the edges of his cheekbone and breaking into his self-inflicted, torturous melancholy. He raised his hand to his face in surprise, not expecting to feel anything. In a rare epiphany of philosophical tendency, he figured that that small drip felt oddly intimate.

XxX

He sat soaking for another ten minutes or so, just barely hearing the drone of Konoha's latest fashion statements and gossip, courtesy of Ino, but Naruto wasn't listening anymore. Before he knew what he was doing, he'd risen from the still hot waters and felt a warm draft caress his stomach and thighs, prompting him to look downward at himself. He gave a small wince at the lack of muscles or definition on his small body.

Why am I so short again? He thought glumly. Shizune-neechan's chiding voice suddenly filled his head, a caring and warm tone enveloping him even in memory.

"Naruto, if you keep eating only packaged ramen, you'll never grow! A young boy needs milk, protein, and greens daily."

Drink lots of milk, he told himself.

"Make sure to check the expiration date, this time." Kakashi-sensei's flat voice warned him mentally.

Naruto scratched the back of his head sheepishly, and lifted himself completely from the water's edge, snagging a nearby towel and heading towards the exit. He'd had enough of the Hot Springs for one day.

XxX

Four days later, and Jiraiya was getting excruciatingly concerned. He had no idea what had occurred between the time he left and now, but he was getting nervous. Naruto had barely spoken since he had gotten back from 'information gathering', and that in itself was a blessing, although it left him feeling rather bored, and curious as well.

When he'd gotten back, he wasn't surprised to see Naruto snuggled underneath the striped covers, likely sleeping off the effects of whatever stunts he'd pulled during his absence. He used the quiet time to reflect upon his research findings, and also what to do with them now. Lost in thought, he almost didn't notice when his comatose student arose quietly and began making his bed. Almost.

He blinked and smiled at his most abrasive student to date. "Hey there, gaki. Sleeping off the strain of being the world's finest idiot?" He asked jokingly, awaiting the mandatory scowl and trail of muttered curse words. It startled him when Naruto only gave him a tight, tired smile, and then changed the subject.

"Ero-sennin," he acknowledged lowly, tilting his head to the side in an almost conversational manner. "You're back."

"Glad to see you've noticed," Jiraiya chuckled knowingly. He shrugged off the small tingles of foreboding he'd felt earlier. Naruto must've really been strung out from his two days of antics.

The two stood there in silence for a while, then Naruto turned and began cleaning up his immediate area. Jiraiya furrowed his brow and just watched, interest peaking. His student was picking up all his personal items and placing them in the appropriate packs clinically, like he was deep in thought. But that wasn't quite possible, because Konoha's most notorious knucklehead was never deep in thought; deep in Ramen, maybe.

He watched even as Naruto pulled on his standard blue sandals, bending briefly to pick up his favorite, hideous discarded clothing item. Pulling the jacket on, he winced momentarily as if the action caused him pain, and Jiraiya's left eyebrow was lifted upward of its own accord.

"Okay," he said finally. "What gives? What are you doing?" The blonde turned to him, surprise flitting across his fox-like features, prompting his sensei to think he might have forgotten his presence in the room.

"What do you mean?" He asked, confused.

Jiraiya gestured impatiently to the peculiarly neat organizing of things that now lay in a small pile atop the comforter. "What's going on?"

"Oh, that." A pause. "I'm just getting ready for when we leave. Speaking of, when are we leaving this stupid place?" Jiraiya had apparently made a strange face, because right then Naruto backtracked. "You know, because I can't wait to get on the road with my favorite Perv, and all," he added hastily, laughing in a nervous manner. "After all, when are you going to teach me some new moves anyways, old man?" He changed the subject slyly, knowing that was a sore subject.

"Damnit, gaki, I've taught you the best you have!" Jiraiya had grumbled, unwittingly giving in to Naruto's intentions. That had been a day and a half ago, and now, he was growing more worried with each passing minute that Naruto didn't yell out something brash and obscene.

They were both silent, blazing through the trees at a speed that usually would've had Naruto whining so loud they could've been heard from miles away. This time, however, he only stared ahead stonily and the only sounds he made were his soft pants. From time to time, his sensei would sneak glances at him inconspicuously, feeling a heaviness in both their hearts that hadn't been there before.

He tried not to let his imagination run wild, but he couldn't help it. What happened to Naruto to make him like this? He questioned whether or not it really was the blonde, but dismissed the notion. He'd already tested that theory when he'd placed a steaming bowl of Miso Ramen directly in front of him at a village stand last night. Suspiciously, he'd observe his student's eye grow wide as saucers as always, but then felt his insides twist when he saw the joy drop again before he'd taken his second bite. He'd been Normal Naruto one moment, shoving a piping hot spoonful of beef broth practically straight into his esophagus, but something changed when he went for his second mouthful. He dug his spoon in and went for his throat, and that's when Jiraiya saw it.

Something had flashed in his eyes then, and he checked himself, delicately returning the overflowing utensil to his bowl to fill a decidedly smaller portion, and then, once more, delicately placed the spoon into his awaiting mouth. Delicately for Naruto, that is.

Nimbly avoiding a tree branch that thwacked his way, he resolved to get to the bottom of this, as patiently and sensitively as possible.

"Listen, gaki, if you don't cough up what you've been moping about like some heartbroken girl these past few days, I'll be pressed to release some very damning information about your nightly escapades!" Jiraiya snarled, catching his student by surprise. He turned his head to him with a look of total dumbfounding.

"Huh?"

"You heard me! Tell me all that ails you, and all your troubles will be mine!" He muttered almost gleefully in an accent that Naruto couldn't even place.

"What are you saying, Ero-sennin?" He asked, bewildered beyond comprehension. He heard his teacher huff a sigh at him before making the signal to stop. He pitched forward suddenly, his momentum close to throwing him off the tree he was currently occupying. He steadied himself against the trunk, leaning against it slightly, breathing in shallow pants.

His teacher was opposite him, irritatingly not even a bit winded, studying him closely. "I want you to tell me what happened those two days I was gone," he commanded bluntly. At this point, he was on the brink of suspecting Naruto knew the truth about his parents.

Naruto's ocean blue eyes, perceptible to his teacher even from fifteen feet away, slid away from him shiftily. "I don't know what you're talking about," he responded blankly, as if it were a rehearsed response. Jiraiya pursed his lips and crossed his arms in annoyance, taking a seat astride the thick branch he was standing on. He gestured for Naruto to come closer and sit near him, which he did apprehensively. A wary expression painted on his face, he sat on the somewhat shorter tree opposite Ero-sennin.

"Naruto, you're doing things completely out of your base character. You aren't being loud, you've got an eternally thoughtful air, and for Kami's sake! I haven't heard you complain in the last forty-eight hours! I mean, come on, I'm getting just a little unhinged here, gaki," he spit out in a rush. At least Naruto had the decency to look ashamed. "My poor heart can't take all this stressing and worrying."

That was laying it on a bit thick. There's no way he'd ever fall for that, he thought to himself. Naruto sniffed a little and scooted closer to Jiraiya on the branch, eyes watering marginally.

"You're right," he admitted softly, and Jiraiya fought to contain his exclamation of surprise. "It's just that… For the first time, in my life, I think I just heard what people really thought of me." The Pervy Sage couldn't help but to feel a little relieved it was over something so minor. This was all?

"Look, kid, not everyone in this world's going to like you. Why? Who said what to you?" He questioned, dark eyes narrowing. Naruto shook his head.

"No, you don't understand, nobody said anything to me. I…" he hesitated then continued, oblivious to his mentor's internal dialogue. He screwed his eyes shut, saying in a big surge, "When I went to the Hot Springs I was the only one there but then on the other side all of the kunoichi we know came in and they all took turns sharing what they thought about me and I never really knew how strongly people disliked me and maybe now it makes sense and I have no idea why I'm such a failure and I can never be cool and I don't know how to make girls like me and now I'm just embarrassed and I'll never be able to face anyone ever again!" He gasped dramatically, and Jiraiya's ninja brain took seconds to process everything.

"Well, what kinds of things did they say? Maybe I can help," he reached out cautiously. It hurt him to see Naruto get a dull look in his eye as he relayed all the basic insults they had thrown at him that day. Jiraiya kept his face impassive as he listened, but inside he couldn't help but feel bad for his godchild. Once he finished, he asked the question that had been nagging at the edges of his mind since he found out about the incident.

"Naruto, how did you even hear them from so far away? I mean, it's not an impossible distance, but you shouldn't have been able to hear them." Naruto seemed taken aback by that, and it was obvious and expected that he wouldn't question that little tidbit.

"I… don't know, actually. Huh." He put his hand underneath his chin, staring intently at the swirls etched into the wood by time. "What do you think gave me the ability to hear them?"

"Well, was it even an ability?" Noticing the extremely lost look on his student's face, Jiraiya tried again. "I mean, was it something new that happened to you, or has your hearing always been like that?"

"Now that I think about it, there was nothing special about that moment. It didn't feel different or weird to be able to hear like that, and I remember other occasions with 'special hearing', so I suppose I've had it for a while now. I guess I just thought everybody could hear that well," he concluded with a look of pondering.

"I've got a few theories about that myself," Ero-sennin indulged quietly. Naruto furrowed his golden eyebrows at him, urging him to finish his thought.

"What do you mean?" He prodded.

Jiraiya blew out a breath. "I mean, I've wondered about this for a while now." He paused, considering. "Foxes are predators. Demon foxes are something on another level, and having the Nine Tails contained within you is no easy feat. Now that we've loosened the seal some, I realized you might get some added bonuses."

"Added bonuses?" Naruto asked doubtfully.

"Like special hearing. Enhanced night vision, sensitivity to movement and your surrounding area, sound wave travel, better sense of smell. Many ninjas have these things as well, but if I'm correct, yours may exceed theirs greatly." He discerned that at this point Naruto was struggling to comprehend, so he expanded. "For example, as a ninja, your senses are trained to be better than that of the average citizen. Understand so far? Some ninjas work to train more than the moderate amount to better those senses. Others have natural advantages that work in their favor, like…" He searched for someone that fit the criteria. "The Hyuugas! They train to improve their eyesight. With the fox in you, I suspect that things like your sense of smell will be greater than that of the Inuzuka clan, if properly exercised."

"Woah! I'd have a better nose than Kiba?" he asked, the shadow of an old excited spark returned to his eyes.

"Foxes do have better noses than dogs, so, yes," he chuckled, glad to see his student a little less glum. They both took a few minutes to chew that over in relative silence, birds squawking at each other overhead and sunlight raining down on them through the shaded gaps in the treetops.

"Hey, Naruto," Jiraiya started suddenly, an impish expression on his lined face.

"Hm," he mumbled half-heartedly, already sinking back into his glumness.

"What was that you said earlier?"

"What was what?"

"Didn't you say something about wanting girls to like you?" He observed keenly as Naruto's cheeks reddened and he turned his face away from him. "Answer honestly, kid, this could help you in the long run," he advised. Naruto nodded slowly, letting out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"Okay. It's just—I just feel like it's not fair!" He exploded. Jiraiya made a face at him and he rambled on self-consciously. "I mean, I know life hasn't always been fair for someone like me, but this is just too much. For practically every kunoichi to see me as below even a boy let alone a ninja. It hurts. It's bad enough that the entire village used to hate me. It makes me feel stupid and I don't know how to change. I want to be that person, someone like… Sasuke- but better. I don't want to be broken. I want to make girls smile and I just want that one person to look at me like I'm the only one she sees. That's all I always wanted, but now even that's shattered. I can barely think about that now without feeling anger or pain."

Gold and green tree leaves rustled, the air heavy and poignant with this deep confession. This wasn't just about having the Nine Tails or being inadequate anymore. This was all personal. This was about not feeling like they had anything, because no one was willing to let him make something.

This is… familiar, Jiraiya realized. Oblivious, Naruto didn't see the eager glint in his calculating eyes, too deeply wallowing in his own self-loathing.

"What if you could change that?"

"How," he mumbled, not even bothering to look up from where he'd dropped his face in his hands.

"Oh, I think I've got a few tricks,"

"No offense, but I don't think I really want tips from you, not that there's anything wrong with you of course. I just don't think you can help me with what I want to learn."

"To be honest, I'm not the one I had in mind."