Am i the only one? Why is it only me?

When I see you, my thoughts go round in my head, my heartbeat gets faster, my stomach hurts... I presume, that you feel nothing- nor butterflies in your tummy, nor safety feeling in your mind, nor warmth in your heart, nothing.

When you see me, you feel like meeting a friend. I'm sorry, but I see you as a lover.
The secret glances I send you, the hungry observation of your body I can't hide.
Have you really never noticed them at all?

We live in our separate worlds, though we are connected trough a thing, that is called friendship.
Without you here, my world would fade to black, it would disappear, it would be destroyed.

This depression that haunts me... I kinda like it, because it is the only thing, that is mine, that belongs to me.
Yes, I know, you may think it's stupid, but the feeling to have you close to me is driving me insane.

You flirt with me innocently, but I try to catch your every word like it's my last breath. Sometimes I even think, that you can love me back...

Once you said to me, that you can save me. Why did you gave me hope? Wouldn't it be better, if my hope died with my feelings for you?

I can't stop thinking about you, you're my obsession. I admit it, but I can't admit my feelings to you.
I know, you wouldn't send them back,so why should I bother?

Sometimes I don't want to talk to you. That's because I feel dirty,worthless. Why should someone like you communicate with someone like me? Sometimes, I want to crawl away from you as far as I can. And sometimes, sometimes I want to hurt myself as hard as I can, so that I could have a reason to hug you longer...

iIm sorry, that I'm taking advantage in this kind of moments, I know, that it's not good. But I already sold my soul for you.

When they look at you, observe you, love you, I just... I just want to die. To know,that someone besides me thinks about you, wants to hold you...

I sometimes talk about some guys, or flirt with them, I want you to be jealous. I am sorry for the person I became.
It's so selfish of me - wanting you to be mine. My naive thoughts, self- destructive jealousy, enormous lust...

Overhelming desire.