She didn't know why she was attracted to the intense, quiet troublemaker. She wasn't the type to take risks – especially the type of risks she heard that he took. A womanizer, a school skipper, just a general rebel without a cause…and those weren't even the worst of the things whispered about him through McKinley's halls. Yet, there was something in his confidence that drew her in. Like the unknowing and innocent moth to a flame. She would be lying if she said it didn't frighten her a little bit. She'd heard the stories about good girls like herself getting swallowed into the wrong scene by someone like him – all in the name of love. But she knew there was no changing it now. She knew it every time she caught her eyes following him as he sailed through the hallways on that ridiculous razor scooter. She knew it in every quick intake of breath when she imagined he was watching her.
Marley Rose was taken with Jake.
It sounded dumb to put it that way. 'Taken with' sounded like one of the old romance novels she'd read while waiting for her mother to finish up in the school's kitchens for the day. But it sounded better to say it like that. Less scary than saying she liked him or even worse: that she loved him. It was easier to explain it to Unique with that. It didn't stop her best friend's unapproving cluck of the tongue whenever Marley slipped up and said something about him or she was caught stealing quick glances through a crowd for his face. Unique knew better than to tell her to stop though. She knew it wasn't easy to just end feelings like these; Marley had asked her about it once or twice, to which she'd just replied "I've had my share of heartbreak, girl."
Unique wanted to protect her.
Pulling her arms tighter around herself, Marley shivered at the thought. Unique would probably be disappointed that she'd agreed to meet Jake here – on the empty bleachers no less. She'd probably say that the blue-eyed girl would be more susceptible to his charm up here. And maybe that was true. It would be just the two of them so they could talk, with the faint sound of the Cheerios and the football team practicing in the background. One could even call it a recipe for disaster, but it was all too late now. As soon as Jake's smile appeared, ascending the metal steps to meet her, she knew she was in trouble. There was that sudden intake of breath again – this time because she knew he was looking at her and only her. The sting from how cold the air was in her lungs should have shaken her to her senses, but she could only feel the slow bubbling of excitement in her stomach. It was from the knowledge that she had put that smile on his face. God, he had a beautiful smile.
"I almost didn't come," she piped up. "The other girls told me I was crazy for even bothering." She was surprised she'd said anything at all with the nerves bouncing around in her stomach.
"Do you think they're right?"
That was when she realized that that was probably not the right thing to say. You don't tell someone that your friends advised you against them and you certainly don't tell someone what you've heard about them in the halls. Marley supposed it was too late now though. She had to give him an answer.
"I think you're a guy who got hurt." She avoided his gaze as her eyes strayed upwards to search the clouds. The more words she let slip, the more she felt like this really was a bad idea after all. The warm feeling of his attention was too much to resist though and somehow she knew she would have ended up making this choice anyway. "And I think the hair, the guitar, and the jacket are all walls for that," she added.
Settling her eyes on him again, she finally understood the words that had just left her mouth. Marley hadn't thought about that before. The fact that Jake could have been hurt and was now protecting himself – it made sense. It made sense just like her mom pricking her fingers over and over again just to sew designer labels into the back of her sweaters made sense. Sometimes people did things to keep away the hurt. She realized that maybe that was why she'd let her thoughts fall so freely from her lips to him just now. Marley saw parts of her own struggle in him. That, or it was the inviting quality of his brown eyes and the feeling of him listening to her that goaded her into it.
"Well, you think too much," Jake said and just like that: she knew. They shared a common thread after all. It was both alarming and intriguing. Anyway, it made her open her mouth again and let more of her private thoughts – things she would generally only share with her mom – float into the air between them.
"At all my other schools, I was picked on," she admitted. His face softened a bit at that, but there was more there as well. He was questioning why she was telling him something like this. She didn't know exactly why she was; she just knew that it felt right. "I tried so hard to be what I thought they wanted me to be. It just made it worse."
Marley focused her eyes on the field behind him. She watched the football team running drills, the Cheerios attempting a very risky pyramid while Coach Sylvester screamed at them, and thought about the people like that at her old school. She once thought that she could fit in with those types if she only tried hard enough. It'd taken two moves and a club full of people just like herself – the New Directions – to convince her otherwise. Actually, just to convince her that she wasn't those things people had called her before.
"For the first time at this school, I feel like I can just…be." She turned her attention back to him and smiled. Marley hadn't really told anyone about that before, but she was focusing on being herself. Maybe she really was the type of girl who could open up about things like that.
It wouldn't be a terrible idea to focus on what she wanted to become either. She wanted to be fearless. She wanted to stand up for herself and her mom more like she had in that cafeteria and she wanted to not let the cruel words of people like Kitty Wilde get to her. Perhaps most of all though, she wanted to be the type of girl that could actively pursue her interest in someone like Jake. Because after this conversation and the duet that followed thereafter?
Marley Rose likes Jake.
And she shouldn't be afraid to admit that to herself.
