Cloud could feel the bed moving beside him before it was still again. Moments later he heard the rustle of heavy fabric on the other side of the room by the chair that stood in the corner. He sighed inwardly, sadly. He couldn't feel any warmth of sunlight on his face yet, and by that Cloud gathered that the sun hadn't risen yet. But Vincent, who had spent the night next to Cloud after hours of passionate love-making, was leaving already. Again.
They had been together, doing this for months now. They would meet, spend the evening together in comfortable companionship, sometimes even affection and then they would make love, slow and loving at first, but rough and passionate once their arousal had risen to unbearable peaks. But come dawn, Vincent would always be gone, leaving Cloud with a painful longing and the shadow of the night before. Vincent didn't know that Cloud was awake sometimes when he left. The dark-haired man obviously assumed his lover would still be asleep so early in the morning.
Cloud had never tried to stop Vincent. At first he hadn't minded his lover leaving every morning. But as their relationship, although Cloud was wondering if one could really refer to it in such a manner, progressed, it became painful for Cloud to know that Vincent wouldn't be there with him when he woke up. That they wouldn't be sharing the shower and having breakfast together. But Cloud knew not to push Vincent into rushing anything. He had found that out the hard way after an attempt at a first night together had gone terribly wrong ending with Vincent fleeing Cloud's flat in a rush. But they had overcome the problems. Vincent was no longer too worried about Cloud seeing his scars and Cloud had finally overcome his self-inflicted loneliness. But now as he heard Vincent moving about the room in hunt of his clothes, Cloud felt a stab of pain in his heart and tears pricking at the corners of his eyes.
He couldn't do this anymore. Pushing or rushing things be damned, but Cloud couldn't bear the thought of opening up to someone just to be left alone again. In a flash, Cloud was out of bed and had his arms wrapped around Vincent's still naked waist in the semi-darkness of the room.
"Don't go." Cloud mumbled into the mass of Vincent's long hair. "Stay. Just this once." Vincent closed his eyes and cursed silently, heaving a small sigh. Since when had Cloud been awake? He shook his head sadly. "I can't." Vincent's words lacked all emotion, although inside his heart was breaking. Gently he pried Cloud's arms from his waist. Cloud made an angry sound and went back to the bed, sitting on the edge with tears in his eyes.
Vincent could feel his resolve to leave crumble like the wall that he had built around his heart for so long had crumbled beneath Cloud's loving. And now he was the one causing Cloud pain. Again. Somehow, no matter how Vincent tried, he always seemed to be causing those that he loved pain. He would cause the pain and he would lose them. He couldn't protect them either, not even from himself. It was those feelings that had caused Vincent to lock himself away for thirty years and it were the same feelings that were instilling an incredible fear in his heart. But Vincent knew that he couldn't afford to lose Cloud as well. He knew that he would not be able to go on if he did.
"Why? Why won't you stay?" Cloud's words shook Vincent from his thoughts. "Do I mean so little to you?" Cloud sounded angry and Vincent could tell that his lover was holding back tears that were threatening to fall. A physical pain shot through Vincent's heart. He had done it again, he had hurt the one he loved.
Vincent was on the bed at Cloud's side with two long strides. His human hand reached up to turn Cloud's face towards him for a long deep kiss. "You mean everything to me, Cloud." Vincent murmured against the blond man's lips.
"Then stay." Came Cloud's equally muffled response. Nodding slowly in consent, Vincent gently pushed Cloud back to lie on the bed again.
Later on, as the sun was rising they lay together, Vincent's face buried in the crook of Cloud's neck. "Cloud, I–" Vincent still felt the need to explain himself, but Cloud quickly silenced him with a kiss. "I know." The blond man reassured. Vincent returned the kiss softly and settled back down, his head resting on Cloud's shoulder. "I'm scared." He voiced quietly against Cloud's soft skin.
"I know." Cloud replied. "So am I, but it's not as bad with you here."
An actual smile threatened to break Vincent's usually passive face in agreement and the two of them spent a few more hours just lying there in the security of each others' arms.
