Possession


I have known possession. Dean would say I possessed Jimmy Novak. I have seen dozens, if not hundreds, of Demon possessions in my time on earth. I was possessed by the millions of souls that I let out of Purgatory.

This is, however, another type of possession. One I am not familiar with. Material possession.

I suppose Dean would say the angel blade was mine, but it was simply a weapon to me. The clothing I wore until recently was not mine. It was still Jimmy's, even though he left me alone in this body long ago. The clothing I am wearing now I still consider to be Dean's.

I am human now…a side effect of the release of the souls back into Purgatory. It was avoidable, but I chose to let the souls take my Grace with them as Dean, Sam and Bobby struggled to seal the howling abyss that threatened to take us all. Losing my Grace was a small price to pay for the lives of my friends.

Friends that realized that it was not me that asked them to bow down. Friends that saw beyond the maniacal stare and knew it wasn't me. Granted, if they had helped me in the first place it might not have happened, but I have learned that this is the nature of being human. Sometimes you make mistakes. Forgiveness is an integral part of friendship.

But I digress…as I do from time to time as I learn about being human. Dean would be rolling his eyes at me right about now.

Right…possession. We were talking about possession.

I earned my first paycheck last week, using my vast knowledge of human languages to translate some ancient documents for the local university. Thank you for allowing me to retain that. I'm apparently the first person in the Winchester family that has earned an honest paycheck in many years. Yes, I'm an official part of the family now…well as official as anything gets with them. Castiel Winchester, older cousin of Dean and Sam. I'm proud of that…maybe it's the way you always intended things to transpire?

Now Dean is actually rolling his eyes at me out in the hall. He wants to go get a Cheeseburger and Pie, so I need to wrap this up.

I own something now. I have a possession. Something I bought with the money I earned. I stood in the store, alone, and picked it out myself. Sam was a little jealous I think, since mine is newer then his. Dean just laughed at the decoration on it…and probably the color.

My new purple laptop with wings drawn on the lid. When I look at it and use it I'm reminded of both of my lives…the millennia of my Angelic existence and the brief time I have been human.

Thanks, Dad…I think I'll call you Dad now…Father sounds much too formal for a Winchester. I hope you don't mind, but I wanted to thank you for giving me this life. You didn't have to…especially when I ignored or missed every sign you sent me. I made mistakes, my new family made mistakes, and you forgave us all. We forgave each other and everything is…good.