A Flower in her Hair
It was a beautiful day, a day that made me happy to be a New Yorker. It was warm without being hot, a slight breeze was blowing and the scent of flowers was in the air. Even better was the woman walking beside me, her arm lightly in mine. Three weeks ago, Kate Beckett was nearly taken from me and that terrified me. She is still healing and still had a long road ahead of her but she was going to make it. And that made the day that much more perfect.
This was our first trip anywhere other than the doctor's office since her injury. We had just gotten back from the doctor's where many of her restrictions had been lifted as we expected so we decided to celebrate a bit. She obviously still couldn't go back to work but she did have some more freedom at least. She had been staying at the loft with Alexis, Mother, and I but she had mentioned wanting to go back to her apartment soon. Unfortunately, the doctor said that would be okay.
In fact, we had a bit of a disagreement over that last night. Alexis had solved that disagreement for us by suggesting that she stay over at Kate's and have a slumber party. Even though I hated to let her go, I knew that at least having Alexis close to her would make me feel better. My arm unconsciously tightened on hers and she looked up at me with a slight frown. Not wanting to ruin this walk, I simply patted her hand and kept walking. Kate was still looking at me when we both heard the sound of bells. Momentary confusion passed over her face and mine until we realized it was the ice cream guy. Having learned that her love of ice cream rivaled my own, I simply asked, "Chocolate?"
She just nodded then slipped her hand from my arm and went to a nearby park bench. I headed over to the ice cream guy and got in line behind a bunch of kids. I kept my eyes on Kate as I inched forward in the line and I was soon lost in thought, all of them focused on the woman sitting on the bench just down the path. Almost a month ago, we had our biggest fight yet and I truly thought we were through, all because I was a coward and couldn't actually tell her my feelings. Kate was hell bent on chasing Lockwood even at the expense of her own life. I told her that she should at least think about what the people who love her would think if something happened to her. I mentioned her dad first because obviously he wouldn't take it well. I lost my nerve then when I had the perfect opportunity to mention my feelings for her but I didn't. I mentioned Josh instead.
I really should have listened to my mother when she said to not waste any time but I was afraid. I was, and still am, in love with Kate Beckett but I was, and still am, terrified that I would lose what it is that we already have. As I told Mother, months ago, it's not about the books anymore. I can write the last Nikki Heat book with no problem, I have enough research, I could even write several more. I didn't need to come back after last summer for more research but I did need to come back for Kate. I knew that she was with Demming and I was with Gina then but I needed to have Kate in my life, in some way, any way. Gina didn't understand this need but then again, I can't blame her. She was always a bit jealous of my reputation, which ironically, she had helped cultivate.
I knew that Kate and I had something special, something that I most certainly had never felt before. I do regret that I hadn't told her before she was shot and bleeding in my arms though. I am not even sure if she heard me. Well, I know that she heard me, she smiled just a tiny bit before she passed out, but I just don't know if she remembered. I know something had changed in the past few weeks but then so much had happened, things were bound to change.
I moved forward a bit in the line and made a decision. I was going to have to tell Kate again how I felt, how I feel. I smiled slightly thinking about it and realizing that it didn't scare me this time. In these last three weeks, Kate has rarely left my side and I can tell that my feelings are understood and very possibly reciprocated. Even if she didn't remember my words, she has to know from my actions since I spoke them.
I had done a lot of things to try and make her feel safe and secure since she was shot. The first of which was to bring her back to my place to recuperate. The second was to tell her that I had been keeping something from her. I had been trying to keep everything as positive as I could and that was hard when Esposito came to the hospital one day and told me that they had a lead on the shooter. I knew that they were going to go and take care of it and I realized that Kate did not need to know anything about it. She needed to heal and she wouldn't be able to do that if she was constantly worried about her friends. A couple of days later, Lanie came in to sit with Kate and I could tell that something was bothering her. I finally found out when we gave Kate and the nurse some privacy. Lanie told me that the boys were after the Dragon. They hadn't told me that the shooter had given them a name before he died and they finally got what they needed to take the mysterious Dragon down.
The boys had come in later that evening and seeing that Kate was rather sleepy they decided to not say anything at that time. Kate was discharged late the next day. I knew that she was exhausted so I decided to hold off on sharing the news until the following morning. It didn't work that way though once she lay down; she asked if it was safe for Alexis to be in the same place as her. I sighed. I should have realized that she would be concerned for Alexis' safety. I knew that she wouldn't get any decent sleep while worrying so I told her everything. Kate didn't look terribly pleased with me when I confessed but I think she understood why I did what I did.
Her tears caught me a bit by surprise but I just stretched my feet out on the bed and pulled her into my arms and let her cry on my shoulder. At first, I thought she was mad at me but with the way that she was holding me tightly and not fighting me, I soon realized that she was crying because it was all over. The next morning, we woke up still wrapped in each other's arms. Neither of us said anything about it but that wasn't the last night that happened.
I was next in line when I heard a chuckle from the man in front of me. "My little girl, never met a stranger," said the man who just got his own trio of ice cream cones.
"My little girl was like that at that age too," I said following his gaze. I saw an adorable little girl talking to Kate and hand her a flower. Kate smiled gently and tucked the flower behind her ear, bringing a big smile to the little girl's face.
"Are you here with your little girl?"
"No, she's nearly all grown up now. I'm here with," I paused for a moment not sure how to proceed. Kate wasn't just a friend but she wasn't my girlfriend, yet. "With my Kate."
"Your Kate?" he said with a smile.
"Yes, she's talking to your daughter," I said as her eyes met mine and her smile widened. "She's the smile with the flower in her hair."
End part 1 of 2
