Title: Surrender
Summary: He knows that something isn't right; that it hasn't been for some time now.
Characters: John & Teyla
Pairing: John/Teyla
Rating: K+
Notes: This inspired Wedatqi's "Defeat", etc.

He knows that something isn't right; that it hasn't been for some time now.

She's been spending more time on the mainland and he'd been spending more time by himself. They still found one another in the night but usually she slept with her back to him, curled up in the corner and he'd lie awake, silently watching her, wondering if this was it.

When they'd started this, they'd promised forever, sure that eternity would be happy. But it wasn't. They'd paid too high a price for something that John wasn't sure was enough now.

Their bands of gold they usually kept on a chord around their necks lay on the bedside table and he wondered if this time, she'd forget to put it back on.

He watched her silent breaths, trying to remember the last time he'd felt it against his chest as she lay cocooned around him, sleeping peacefully in his arms. It had been more than a year, he's sure. A time more than half that they'd been together.

It had stopped mattering long before that.

He'd promised things wouldn't change, that nothing else would matter. But they had and it did. The pressures of their job, of their lives had taken its toll on them and he'd long since stopped coming first in her world. The unease between the Lanteans and the Athosians had found her siding with them more often than not, tearing to shreds the bonds between them. He'd spent more time on missions outside of his team; special operations with other men who were not afraid to die to ease the long nights of lying beside a woman he knew wasn't truly there.

He would die for her, he has known this for some time.

He's just not sure he can live for her anymore.

He's not sure which one means more.

She turns towards him, her hand withdrawing as it touches his chest slightly. An unconscious gesture but one he knows used to tear his heart in two. She sighs lightly, her breath cooling his bare chest and he watches her in her sleep.

Peaceful, but not content.

Hoping, but not hopeful.

He wonders when she'll leave, knowing it's only a matter of time. Her heart left long ago, her body soon to follow.

He glances to her again and catches her watching him, wonders if it's something she does often. He waits a beat and she closes her eyes. Sighing, he rolls away from her, picking up his wedding band, the cool metal burning his skin. He holds it in his palm, staring at it for a moment before closing his fist around it, willing the numbness back.

He'd been so sure they'd be happy.

He dropped the band into the bedside drawer, faltering as he slid it shut.

When the doors slid shut behind him, leaving her in the room, he leans against them and sighs.

He loves her, but it's not enough anymore.

As he walks away, he knows it's better this way.