Two days later and one bagel short. Pure Randomness at it's best. And since I was going to go to the casino later I decided, hey! Let's write a story about Yuan and Kratos road tripping to Mohegan Sun. But first they have to get there. So enjoy this road tripping, car hitting, gambling addiction, side-splitting drunken story. Was that too many adjectives? Erm and I'd like to thank Andrea and Michelle for helping me with this idea. Kutos and have a taco. Yes they love tacos!
And in Andrea's words, the title means a vacation. I didn't know that, and I doubt I would have ever learned! Some references to Choices Of an Angel.
Warnings: Car Violence, Spoilers, Gambling Issues, Some Alcohol, and the wrong use of donkeys
Sabbatical
Chapter One: Please Step Away From The
Car
"Yuan guess what I won!"
Yuan
glanced over, almost not wanting what his seraphim friend. It had
been so many years since the two started living together.
"What?" Yuan hissed. He glared as Kratos held his hands behind his back. They were in kitchen, where Kratos made his accuse for a breakfast.
"Since we saved the two worlds I won a free paid trip to Mohegan Sun Connecticut! It's at a casino and it's for me and one 'friend'," Kratos explained. Yuan gave an utterly confused look.
"Where the hell is that?" Yuan asked, setting down his mug. Kratos shook his head is if he didn't know.
"I don't know. But we have a free Rent-a-car!" Kratos spoke, overly happy. Yuan raised an eyebrow.
"A... car?" Yuan asked. He had no clue what a car was. He also had no clue what a rent was. Was it a tissue?
"I don't know. But you're coming along!" Kratos spoke grabbing Yuan by the arm vigorously. Almost in a a rampage, he slapped Kratos across the face.
"What if I don't want to come?" Yuan spoke, being stubborn like a skunk. Wait how is a skunk stubborn. Wrong simile!
"Oh, your coming, Pl-eeeeeeeeeeeease Yuan?" Kratos
begged on his knees. Yuan looked at Kratos. Lately he was unlike
himself. He was starting to act like, well, like Michael Jackson. Or
was he?
"Fine, fine," Yuan muttered. He shook his head then
waved a hand and his bags were packed.
"When do we leave?" Yuan asked, yawning. Kratos jumped up and ran over to his own bags.
"Right now!" Kratos spoke grabbing his hand. Yuan gave the most disgusted look and followed Kratos, with his own bags, outside.
Sitting outside, in there lawn, was a mustard yellow, dented, rusty, hippie van. Yuan starred blankly at the car as Kratos hopped into the drivers seat.
"This is a car?" Yuan asked, starring at the ugly car. It reminded him of Martha Stuart. As much as he hated to admit, He loved the what she did with all those flower bouquets.
"Hell yea! And look it's got fluffy pink seat covers!" Kratos spoke sitting down. This was going to be a long trip!
"How do you work that thing?" Yuan asked putting the bags in the car and getting in. Kratos turned to Yuan with a key in hand.
"It's called screwdriver!" Kratos squeaked. Yuan starred at the key in confusion. Alrighty then.
"Ok, then, it's a screwdriver," Yuan spoke, still trying to get comfortable. Wanting to check his hair, Yuan pulled down the visor and was shocked to find a picture of Jerry Springer eating a pumpkin ice cream cone, on a flying pony where the mirror should be.
"WHAT THE HELL?" Yuan yelled shutting the visor. Kratos looked over, he had over twenty cheese puffs shoved into his mouth.
"Want a cheese puff?" Kratos asked. Yuan slightly nodded and Kratos pointed to behind the seat. Extending a hand to grab a cheese puff, to his horror he pulled up a black clump of hair. Raising it's evil ugly head was ... MICHAEL JACKSON!
Yuan screamed and Kratos shouted with glee.
"MICHAEL JACKSON!" Yuan sunk into his seat and closed his eyes.
"Breath, breath, oh damnit I can't breath with Michael Jackson in my car," Yuan hollered as Kratos turned onto the interstate. With a high pitched, feminine voice,
"Hello my friends," Michael Jackson squeaked handing Yuan his nose. Shrinking back in horror, Yuan chucked the nose at Kratos. With another squeak of glee, Kratos yelled.
"OH LET ME TRY!" As he attempted to pull of his own nose.
"Kratos wait, don't do that," Yuan warned but Kratos had ripped his nose off and now was bleeding to death.
"Cast first aid or something you idiot!" Yuan yelled as he shoved Kratos' nose back on his face.
"I'm hungry," Michael Jackson spoke laying in the back seat. Kratos nodded in his in agreement.
"Let's stop for ice cream!" Kratos suggested. Yuan, who was starting to find this trip annoying. Kratos pulled off the exit and drove up to a ice cream stand. Michael Jackson was the first to jump out of the car. He waved to some of his fans and unloyal fans with a white glove.
"I want pistachio," He spoke licking his lips. Well what was left of them anyhow. Kratos got out, forgetting the key inside. Yuan got out of the car and watched the random people walk by, starring at the group.
"Yuie! What do you want!" Kratos asked licking his pumpernickel cone. Yuan starred blankly at the, more then likely, on steroid Kratos.
"Um, Vanilla is fine," Yuan spoke, a little uneasy. The big fat man with the ice cream stand, aka Dr. Eggman, handed Yuan the cone.
"Do you want some world domination with that?" Dr. Eggman asked slyly. Yuan gave a uneasy glance along with Kratos.
"Sorry, I didn't catch that?" Michael Jackson asked. Dr. Eggman. Dr. Eggman fluffed his mustache, that huge ugly rats nest, which actually had rats in it and spoke, afraid.
"Um, I mean sprinkles! Do you want some sprinkles with that?" He asked. Yuan shook his head.
"Thank you, my love," Michael Jackson spoke as the ice cream man walked off. Kratos went over to the drivers side to find they were locked out!
"Kratos, where did you put the screwdriver," Yuan asked as he saw it in the car. Michael Jackson then spoke in a weird voice.
"I LOVE screwdrivers," And with that he saw a
policeman, and hid behind a fire hydrant.
"Maybe kicking it will
open it," Yuan spoke as he kicked the car. Suddenly the car
spoke.
"Please step away from the car," It spoke as if it was a secretary. Yuan gave an evil scowl, he hated to be told what to do.
"Oh really?" Yuan asked as he started to the kick the car harder.
"Yuan, That's not a good idea," Kratos spoke as the policeman walked over. Yuan stopped kicking momentarily as the policeman gave a disturbing look.
"What are you two doing?" The policeman asked. On his belt was a pink walkie talkie.
"Oh, we locked our screwdriver in the car," Kratos spoke. The policeman's eyes grew as wide as big old lakes.
"We can't get in without it," Yuan added. Kratos gave a sharp nod.
"How dare you, are you trying to break into this car?" He asked. When he spoke, you could see his ugly yellow decayed teeth. From eating so many doughnuts.
"Oh no! If we wanted to do that we'd use a key!" Kratos spoke as he took out a screwdriver from his pocket. He held it up as if it was an item to bid on the Price is Right.
Michael Jackson's voice came from the hydrant.
"I LOVE screwdrivers." The policeman looked over and saw Michael Jackson doing some un pleasant things to the poor hydrant. That poor hydrant! WAH!
Yuan, who felt annoyed with all this unexpected delays, kicked the car once again. The car spoke yet again.
"This car with self-destruct in 2.5 seconds. Have a wonderful day, you jackasses," The car spoke as a smiley face appeared in the rear view mirror. The group all jumped out of the way, as the car exploded into a huge amount of cheese. Yum, smelly cheese.
"Smells like my bedroom," Michael Jackson suddenly spoke as he began to lick the cheese on the pavement. Yuan began to grab all the cheese out of his hair.
"Now how are we going to get to Mohegan Sun?" Yuan complained, sitting down. The policeman screamed like a girl. A young girl.
"I Love that place. Let me take you there!" He said jumping in his car. Yuan and Kratos exchanged glances then got in the car. Michael Jackson jumped out from the hydrant.
"That sounds lovely!" He spoke as he jumped in the far back seat as if he was a prisoner. On the way, many pedestrian screamed out.
"They caught Michael Jackson!"
Also on their way to there prepaid trip, Kratos began to mess with the buttons in the car. Flicking the red buttons. Sirens blasted, lights flashed, and then the Tele Tubbies theme song came on. The whole car screamed with agony. Screamed for their sanity!
"NO!"
Michael Jackson then put down his window and started singing along.
"I love this song, especially Tinky Winky!" Michael Jackson hollered. As they turned off the highway to Mohegan Sun, a mad man with no eyebrows, wielding a welding gun, started shooting embers at the police car.
"Damnit Kratos. Why did you have bring me," Yuan complained, as they drove into the parking garage.
Dun dun, end chapter here!
Author's Note:
Ok, that was random . Pure
random. Thanks to my buddies for helping me with it along the way. I
loved the screwdrivers. Ok I'm starting to speak like Michael
jackson, AGH! Well, you'll have to see our next chapters to see
what will happen. and let me say this, you'll be stunned.
