Disclaimer: I've been good, Santa, so if you could, you know what I want for Christmas, but until then I simply do not own Phil of the Future, so you know which half I'd pick.
Author's Note: I appreciate seeing the new stories posted here, providing me with stimulus to ask the classic question ...
HALF?
by
CraftyNotepad
Just another afternoon broadcast from the H. G. Wells broadcast room with Keely Teslow and her guest.
"Thank you for that extremely detailed explanation, Seth."
"QED. You're welcome, Keely. I'm sorry about going on and on, but as I've just explained to your viewers, it's just the price demanded of us in quality Dungeons and Mathematicians role playing. Like D&D, D&M starts out innocently enough, then 'Eureka!' You discover one morning that all your pals refer to you as Prince Gauss the Calculating and your parents only know your pals' names as Pascal, Newton, 'Thagoras, Einstein, and Hypatia."
"'Hypatia?' So, there are girls too in your Sophomore Advance Role Playing Club?"
"Um, no. No, no girl-SARPies yet. SARP Club has the welcome mat out though for girls - ladies - role players of the feminine persuasion."
"But wasn't Hypatia the final librarian for the Library of Alexandria?"
"Well, yes - I mean, no. Well, yes, she was, but not this Hypatia. H-Hypatis not, I mean, Hypatia's my gir- Hypatia's my guh, my guh - would your viewers like to see me roll some of my twenty-sided dice some more?"
Keely snatched all colored translucent solids from his hand and answered "No dice, Wosmer. Seth, are you avoiding my question?"
"Why would I do that on the school's morning report in front of hundreds of - (gulp). So, what are you and Phil up to these days, Keely?"
"And I see that we're out of time, Seth. This is Keely Teslow -"
"- with Seth Wosmer -"
"- on Keely Teslow Televises News. Have a great afternoon, H. G. Wells."
"'Keely Teslow Televises News' - KTTN? Keely, did anyone ever notice that -? YEOUCH!"
Seth had just discover that this kitten had claws in the form of long, polished fingernails. Through her clenched toothy grin, Keely advised, "Seth, we're not off the air yet. Just keep your 'ever notice' to yourself until Phil says we're off. The last thing I need is for everyone to be calling me KiTTeN."
"And we're off, 'Kitten'," smirked Phil. He was going to have some fun with this for a while. Keely shot him a piercing glance. Judgment. Me-ow. Maybe he best reconsider, being eight lives short and all.
Now off the air, Dennis steps into the shot to retrieve a paper beneath Keely's left Italian lemon pump, then hands it to the young reporter. She was suppose to read this notice from Mr. Angst on air.
"Oh, well. It's just a reminder about mandatory science projects being due tomorrow. I'll read it tomorrow."
"Uh, so tomorrow you're going to remind students that they should have remembered to bring their science projects to school that morning?"
"Exactly. Oh! Right. Ew."
"At least you have your project done, right Keely?"
How could Keely tell Phil that her science project had slipped her mind? Normally, she would have been partnered up with her science partner, Phil. Not this time. After the "Rent-An-A" scandal involving a Diffy who shall go nameless, Angst changed the rules for the science project, making it absolutely no partners. Somehow, this one had slipped past her and it was now due tomorrow. No time to shop for stuff or have anything grow, so she'd just have to ask Phil.
But one look in the direction of her brown-haired camera guy and her confidence fell apart. How could she ask Phil to solve her problems with one of his family's wondrous future gadgets again. Not after her track record "borrowing" their NewAger. Phil didn't mind, much, but his father didn't appreciate Keely rejuvenating Stacy Pimpkins just so Stacy could go to the dance with someone who didn't resemble her grandfather. She didn't want to remember what happened when she used the NewAger the last time when she "borrowed" it when no one was looking to try and make her blouse like new again after the grape juice vs. tomato juice taste test investigation fiasco when some student spiked both juices causing a riot of volunteer drink evaluators, so let's not discuss it here. No, Keely would solve this on her own. She'd be smarter this time and ask first.
"Can I please borrow these? I promise I'll be careful and return them tomorrow."
