Chapter One
This was not happening.
Aria lay in bed crying, thinking about the events of the past couple of hours, willing them to not be real. Ezra, her Ezra, whom she had loved and wanted more than anything in the world, was not even close to being the man she'd believed him to be. He had known Alison. He had lied to her about everything.
This seemed just like the kind of stunt Ali would pull; seduce someone to get what you want. Her style was written all over it. They would have been perfect for each other.
She closed her eyes but a million questions swarmed around in her brain, each one more painful than the last, stopping her from drifting very far into unconsciousness. The only thing she truly wanted to know the answer to though, was "did he even love me?". Everything they'd ever done, every experience, every touch and every kiss, had it really all been a lie?
Her heart ached more than it ever had before. This was worse than the time she had found out about Byron's affair. This time, her heart felt like someone had taken a hammer and cracked it into a thousand minuscule pieces. It was more than anger that raged inside her, it was betrayal. Betrayed by the one man she had thought would be there no matter what. He had even understood about the Jenna thing all those years ago, but now, she realized, it was only because he was doing something so much worse.
Aria turned onto her side and saw the book. It was still in the same position on the floor where it had landed after she'd thrown it in rage. In the moment it had felt therapeutic, but now she craved more. She wanted to yell at him and hit him and make Ezra feel all the pain she felt ten times over. Yet, at the same time, she wished to never see his face again.
"Aria?"
For a second, Aria could have sworn the voice sounded like his, but as the door to her bedroom pushed open, she saw Mike standing there, illuminated by the hallway light. He held a box of tissues awkwardly in his hand. It was a nice gesture, but right now, all she wanted more than anything was to be alone.
"Aria?" He said again, taking a tentative step forward "I, uh, could hear you in my room. Thought you might want these"
"Thanks" She snapped, sounding slightly angrier than she meant to. It wasn't Mike she was mad at after all. Taking the box from his reached out hand; she attempted a very pitiful smile "I'll be alright" Total lie.
"Ok" Mike said "I mean, I know I'm probably not the best person to talk to but if you do need someone to listen to you, I can try my best."
"Alright" She pulled the blankets up higher around her head, signaling the conversation was over.
He stood there for a second, unsure of what to do, before finally leaving and shutting the door behind him. She couldn't talk to anybody, how could they possibly understand? Her secret boyfriend whom she'd risked everything to be with had known her supposedly dead friend who was now really alive and he had decided to write a story about it. Talk about crazy.
The idea of going to school the next day, where she would have to see Spencer, Emily and Hanna, just added to her pain. Even a drug induced Spencer had seen something was off about Ezra before her. Granted, she had believed he was A, but that was impossible. Despite the horrible nature of what he had done, Aria firmly believed that Ezra couldn't hurt a fly.
A part of her wondered where he was right now. Probably at his apartment, in bed like she was. Was he going through memories of her like she was of him?
No!
She was going to stop thinking about him. Sleep was what she needed. Things would make sense in the morning. Maybe this was all just a dream…
The next morning was a struggle to get out of bed. In the one second after she had woken, last night hadn't been present in her brain, but then it all came flooding back. It took an extremely long pep talk and a hot shower before Aria even began to feel slightly human. Standing before the mirror, she looked like hell. Her eyes had dark circles around them from the constant drifting in and out of sleep, her nose was puffy from the crying that never seemed to end and she had tied back her hair into a ponytail, choosing to wear a simple pair of black leggings and a hoodie.
Walking zombiefied through the house, she noticed everyone was already gone. Looking at the clock, she saw why. It was late. Like really late. Like an hour after school had started late. The fact, surprisingly, didn't faze her. The unbearable pain from yesterday had subsided into a numbness that settled over her brain and her limbs.
Then a thought hit. He was her teacher. Oh god, how had this thought not occurred before? Every day, she would have to sit in that classroom and pretend to care about the words that came out of his mouth, when in reality, she had stopped caring the moment she had seen that book. There was no way she was going to that building. How could she ever again?
So going on impulse, and maybe a little insanity, Aria got in the car and drove. She didn't know where she was headed but something told her she needed to get out of town. Everything here was a reminder of him. About five minutes after leaving the city limits, she pulled onto the side of the road and took out her cell phone. There was one person she could talk to. Punching in the digits she had memorised, her hand slightly shook. Voicemail cut in.
"Hey, it's me" Her voice didn't even sound the same as she left the message "I know we haven't talked in a while and I don't even know where you are, but I really need someone right now. Please, call me back." Her voice cracked, the tears threatening to spill "Ok, well, bye"
