The conversation replayed in her head hundreds of times. Each line echoed in her montrals as if they were spoken from all around her. 'This is something I need to do on my own; without the Council and without you.'
'I trusted you! I stood by you!'
'I know…'
Ahsoka Tano never doubted that she did the right thing by walking away from the Jedi Order, but she couldn't stop thinking about everything she was leaving behind. She walked for hours contemplating every detail. It wasn't before too long that she realized how much of an impulsive decision she had made. Yes, she did the right thing, but she did so with no plans for the future. She didn't even know where to sleep. All she had was a few credits in the pouch on her belt. She had enough to probably get a cheap room for the night, but then what?
She had to trust in the Force to guide her. Ahsoka knew this journey wouldn't be an easy one. Before turning down one of the many crowded city walkways of Coruscant, Ahsoka turned to take one last look at the Jedi Temple. The sun was resting on the horizon leaving it in shadow save for the tops of the spires. 'Home.' She thought to herself. 'Not anymore.' Tears began to trickle down her orange cheeks as she began to think of all of the people who would no longer be a part of her life. Ahsoka could hardly handle the sight of the Temple. She closed her eyes and took a deep breath in. Letting out a long sigh, she continued walking; finally losing sight of the Jedi Temple behind her.
The walkways of Coruscant were always filled with people. It was a planet that never slept. No one seemed to notice her. She was just another face in the crowd. Ahsoka used to walk with confidence as a Jedi. There was no longer anything to divide her from everyone else. With her feet growing tired and her stomach growling she began to look for a place to spend the night or at least rest for a while. Nothing and no one looked familiar to her. All she had to guide her was the Force.
The Force didn't disappoint. When Ahsoka was beginning to accept the reality of having to spend the night hungry in an alleyway, a familiar sight finally presented itself before her. Dex' Diner was still open despite the late hour. Ahsoka had meant to avoid the senate district, but she wasn't about to turn down good company and a warm meal. As she walked inside she observed the patrons. The diner was empty aside from one booth at the end where a human woman sat facing away from her. The obnoxiously loud-voiced waitress droid rolled over to greet Ahsoka. "It's about time you got here! The diner's been closed for nearly two hours!"
Ahsoka looked at the droid with a puzzled face. "I am expected?"
"Booth on the end. Are you gonna order anything?" The droid pulled out a datapad to take Ahsoka's order.
"I don't have a lot of credits to spend…" Ahsoka reached for the pouch hanging on the back of her belt but didn't open it just yet.
The woman at the end of the table turned around in her seat to look at Ahsoka. "Her order is on my tab." Ahsoka immediately recognized the voice of Senator Padme Amidala.
She had never felt so happy to see a familiar face. Ahsoka turned to the droid and ordered a jawa juice and walked over to sit down in the booth facing Padme. She sat there for a moment waiting for Padme to explain, but there was only silence between them as Padme seemed forced to hold a welcoming smile. After the droid waitress served Ahsoka her jawa juice, she took a long gulp and then finally broke the silence. "How did you know I would be here?"
"Ani said this is most likely where you would show up. He told me you two came here often between missions together." Padme was using her practiced smile and charisma. Something was definitely eating at her and Ahsoka didn't need to guess what it was.
"I'm very happy to see you, Senator, and I am very grateful for the food and drink. However, I can't help but wonder why you waited for me here." Ahsoka said cautiously.
"Anakin wanted to meet you here, but I insisted that it was best that he didn't. I'm here in his place on behalf of the Jedi Council." Padme placed her hand beside her on the booth bench reaching for a small backpack.
"You're right. We didn't exactly part on the best of terms, but I'm not going back. If you have some sort of offer from them… I'm not going back." Ahsoka didn't want to put Padme on the defensive, but everything felt too precarious.
"I'm not here with an offer, Ahsoka. I'm here with a gift." Padme placed the backpack on the table. "Inside this you'll find some basic essentials. You've been designated as honorably discharged from the Jedi Order which means that you get this package; means with which to survive and start a life for yourself along with a standing offer to return to the Order if you ever change your mind." Ahsoka looked at the backpack curiously and reached to open it, but Padme motioned her not to. "I'm supposed to tell you not to open it until we part ways."
"I understand." Ahsoka replied. "I wasn't sure if there was any sort of protocol for leaving the Order on good terms. Thank you for bringing this to me… You don't have to stay if you don't want to."
"Ahsoka… I don't just want to stay. I want to offer you a place to sleep, work, and have a good life. Unfortunately I can't, and I think you know why." Padme fiddled with her hands as if adjusting a ring on her left ring finger that wasn't there.
"I'm sorry if I've put you in any sort of difficult situation. You did an incredible job defending me in court. I can't thank you enough for all that you've done for me." Ahsoka tried to dodge the forbidden subject of Padme's and Anakin's relationship.
"Ahsoka, I am so proud of you for leaving the Order. It takes a tremendous amount of courage especially for someone your age to decide to seek independence. For what it's worth, I believe you did the right thing." Padme stood up from the booth and Ahsoka stood up to face her. "You are an incredible young woman, Ahsoka, and a dear friend. I think of you as family. If you ever need anything, I'm here."
Padme gave Ahsoka a strong and tight hug that lasted for a couple minutes. They both knew that this would probably be their last time seeing each other and neither wanted it to be. Ahsoka whispered. "Take care of him, Padme."
"I will. Take care of yourself, Ahsoka, and never forget that there are people in this world who love you." Padme whispered back. They finally released their hug and Padme headed for the door. She stopped to give the waitress droid some credits and then turned to face Ahsoka. She smiled reassuringly and then gracefully walked out to a parked speeder where C-3PO was waiting for her.
Ahsoka sat back down in the booth and watched as Padme's speeder flew away back to her apartment. She continued staring out the window for a while before the waitress rolled up. "Dex's loft is at your disposal for the night, and if you don't mind, I'd like to clean this place up and recharge soon."
"Of course. Is Dex still here?" Ahsoka finished her drink and took the backpack Padme had left for her.
"He's asleep like you should be. The loft is up the stairs in the back." Without waiting for Ahsoka to acknowledge, the droid began wiping down the table Ahsoka was sitting at. Ahsoka wasn't about to turn down a free place to sleep. She headed through the kitchen and found a small staircase leading up to a loft apartment of sorts. It was a long and narrow room with a sink and refresher on one end, and a cot for sleeping on the other end. Ahsoka went over to the cot and sat down cross-legged with the backpack sitting on the cot in front of her.
After a moment of hesitation, she opened the top and looked in. On top of everything in the pack sat a small holorecorder that activated immediately upon the opening of the pack. As she expected, the image of Anakin Skywalker appeared and began speaking to her. "Ahsoka, in this pack you will find the designated items the Jedi Order issues to members who leave honorably. You have rationed diet sticks to keep you strong and nourished for one month, a transport pass that will get you onboard any registered public transport within the Republic for one year, and enough credits to make a good start on your new life outside the Jedi Order. There are also a few more items that I have included. You'll find a Jedi Communicator, but it isn't the usual kind we've used. It is a beacon. Activate this anywhere in the galaxy and I will be notified where you are. Don't be a hero, Ahsoka. If you need help, activate it. If I can't be there I will make sure someone comes to your assistance."
"Also, you have in this pack a starship master drive. Remember when we seized Cad Bane's ship when he was trying to kidnap future Jedi Younglings? Well, the Republic Army finally released it to go on auction with other seized contraband. I bought it as another ship to tinker with, but I think given the circumstances you need it far more than me. Go to the impound and give the trooper stationed there this master drive and the P-38 Rogue Class starfighter is yours. It's not flashy or roomy, but it is lightspeed capable and can get you wherever you need to go." Anakin stopped speaking for a moment as if he was struggling to come up with what to say next. The formality was over. All that was left to do was to say goodbye. Anakin never was very good at goodbyes.
Ahsoka looked into the backpack and pulled out the only item left unaccounted for. It was a small pendant that appeared to be hand-carved out of bone. The holoimage of Anakin finally spoke again. "Ahsoka… I'll spare you any lectures or long-winded speeches. You know how I feel and you know you are always welcome to return. The last additional item in your backpack is a small token. When I was a young boy on Tatooine… Slaves had very little. We made these out of various things. I once traded for a japor snippet which this has been carved from. It will bring you good fortune. I had meant to give it to you when you were knighted. Even though you have left the Order, I still want you to have it. There wasn't much more you could've learned from me anyways besides maybe a few more bad habits."
Anakin seemed to be holding back so much emotion as he continued to pause between phrases. With a final change of posture to stand straight up as if to address his Padawan once more, he concluded the message. "The Force will be with you, always." The holoimage faded and silence filled the small loft apartment. Ahsoka stared at the japor snippet carving and studied it. She had never seen an item like it before. It came with a thin band. After she was done admiring the sand carvings Anakin had placed into it, she undid the clasp on the band and placed the pendant around her neck. Ahsoka closed the backpack and placed it on the floor next to the cot.
With a stretch and a yawn, Ahsoka lied down on the cot and fiddled slowly with the pendant around her neck. Her eyes closed and she quickly felt herself drifting to sleep. Just before falling completely asleep, she whispered. "Thanks, Skyguy."
The next morning, Ahsoka could already hear a very busy diner bustling with activity below her. She didn't want to overstay her welcome. So, she stripped down and took a quick dive into the loft apartment's refresher. Once clean, she put her clothes back on, including the japor snippet, and gathered what little belongings she had. Dexter Jettster was very busy in the kitchen tasking all four of his hands to work on different people's breakfasts. While he seemed completely preoccupied, the besalisk 'jack of all trades' noticed the young togruta making her way through his kitchen to leave. Quickly getting everything situated for a moment, he turned to her just before she left the kitchen. "You're not planning to leave here on an empty stomach are ya?"
Ahsoka turned to face him. "I didn't want to add to your already busy day. Thank you for the loft. I really appreciate it."
"Then appreciate it by taking this dish before it gets cold!" The brown besalisk chuckled as he handed her a plate of food freshly made only minutes ago.
Ahsoka took the plate and looked up at him surprised. "You're very generous and sweet, Dex. You remembered my favorite."
"I'm known for what I know!" He chuckled again with his deep but jolly and gravelly voice. "Now go take a seat and sink those little togruta fangs of yours into your meal before it gets cold. It's on the house."
Ahsoka gave him a big hug. She would certainly miss Dex's company and the great food that wasn't anywhere close to healthy but too delicious to refuse. Dex's four arms squeezed her thin frame tightly. When he put her back down he motioned her to run along as he quickly turned back to his work. Ahsoka took her dish and headed out to find a seat. All of the booths were taken. So, she sat at the bar that faced the kitchen. The waitress droid was shouting and rolling around frantically doing the jobs of ten all by itself. Seeing Ahsoka sitting at the bar to enjoy her meal, it rolled over hastily and sat a note down next Ahsoka. It then rolled off without one loud and obnoxious word.
As she took the first bites of her delicious meal she picked up the note and immediately recognized Padme's handwriting. Ahsoka's jaw dropped open and her half-chewed bite of food nearly fell out of her mouth as she read the note. When Padme Amidala paid the droid last night she also apparently gave this note to the droid to give to Ahsoka. Padme had tracked down exactly where Jedi Master Plo Koon had found Ahsoka. Not only did the note give the location of her hometown on Shili, but also the current address of her family. The Jedi Order strictly prohibited Jedi knowing their families. Ahsoka Tano had a chance to return to her family and find her place that she was taken away from so many years ago.
She quickly finished her meal and said her goodbyes to Dex. All Ahsoka needed to do was get her new ship from the impound and she could finally return to Shili. Not only was it an exciting goal, but Ahsoka was also very happy to have a goal and a direction to take in life. She wouldn't walk aimlessly through the streets of Coruscant that day. She made a few stops along her way to prepare for her journey such as buying a change of clothes and a few other sundries. Her joy was suppressed very quickly as her brisk walk to the Republic compound for impounded starships neared its end. Two clone troopers stood guard at the entrance. This would be the first time she would talk with a clone as an ordinary civilian with no rank or authority. Furthermore, she feared that they may recognize her from the recent ordeal of being blamed for bombing the Jedi Temple.
Ahsoka kept her pace steady and tried to act casual as she approached the two clone troopers. One of them stepped forward and put up a hand signaling her to stop as she arrived. "State your business." The clone said simply.
"I… Ummm…. I'm here to pick up a ship." Ahsoka took off her backpack and fumbled through it to find the master drive. After an awkward moment, she handed it to the clone who didn't seem to recognize her. He studied it for a moment. "The Xanadu Blood. As far as P-38's go it is very well equipped. Everything seems to be in order. Dock E-4. You have one hour to get the ship operational and depart." He handed her back the master drive.
"Thank you, trooper." Ahsoka put the master drive back in her backpack and headed into the impound. Separatist shuttles, spice freighters and other suspicious looking ships and speeders filled each dock. It didn't take long for her to find her new ship. New was a generous word. It had been sitting in that dock for over a year. A fair amount of dust had collected all over the hull. On closer look, Ahsoka could see that volcanic ash still covered the bottom of the ship. Walking around the side of the cockpit, Ahsoka looked underneath and saw where a little bit of the ash was scraped away. By a hand similar in size to hers. She remembered doing that and discovering it as a clue that led Anakin and her to find the missing force-sensitive children.
Her mind began to run once more with all of the memories of her life as a Jedi. She recalled so many people she had helped, but also enemies she had made such as the previous owner of the Xanadu Blood. Cad Bane was still at large. Ahsoka tried to push the thoughts to the back of her mind and succeeded to a degree. She placed the P-38's master drive back in the primary console in the cockpit and the ship sprang to life. It was like a reset. The ship's computers immediately started running system checks and diagnostics.
While waiting for the ship to finish its startup, Ahsoka took a closer look at the ship. It was a pale green, almost olive in color, ship with several customized red and yellow markings running along the ships' wing and engines. There was a faded white marking on the left side of the wing that may at one point been a tribal or gang symbol. It was clear that this ship had gone through several owners before Cad Bane and then her. Though it was capable of remaining in space without resupplying for over a month, there wasn't anywhere to be aside from the pilot's seat. Utapauan in design, the cockpit was fairly small. It was a long and narrow enclosed cockpit that rested in the middle of a single wing. Twin engines rested on the far ends of the wing accompanied by large caliber laser cannons.
Once final checks were complete, Ahsoka placed her backpack behind the pilot's seat and hopped in. The docking clamps were removed and Ahsoka flew the ship out of the impound and into the atmosphere. She had taken off to leave Coruscant dozens of times, but this was the first time she did so without knowing if she'd ever return. Once she was clear of the planet's atmosphere and ready to start inputting the coordinates for hyperspace, she hesitated. Ever since she received the note from Padme, she was set to return to Shili and be reunited with her family. At the moment that the goal was finally in reach, it felt wrong. Ahsoka was taken over by an incredibly strong urge to go elsewhere.
Her ship continued to fly away from Coruscant as she sat in the cockpit trying to make up her mind. After a moment of mediation, she recognized the will of the Force. It was pulling her towards Ilum. Ahsoka wasn't a Jedi anymore and therefore had no need to go find a lightsaber crystal on the frigid world. All the same, Ilum was where she felt she needed to go. Despite the excitement of returning to Shili, Ilum was suddenly the complete focus on her mind. Trusting the Force, she inserted the course corrections and she was off through hyperspace to the frozen and unforgiving world of Ilum.
As Ahsoka Tano landed her newly acquired P-38 starship in the blizzard-engulfed landscape on Ilum, she was very glad that she had purchased a few changes of clothes while making her way to the impound. Reaching around the cramped cockpit, Ahsoka opened her backpack and pulled out grey gloves, a red bodysuit, and a small brown cloak that covered her shoulders down to her elbows. When she left the Jedi Order, she had left behind her winter coat. Again, Ahsoka regretted the situation that led her to leave so abruptly. She put on what layers she had to keep warm before exiting her ship.
The Xanadu Blood was already getting partially concealed in snow with the high winds and heavy snowfall. Ahsoka would have to remember where she parked based on… Well, hopefully she could find it again when the time came. Before putting her backpack back behind her pilot's seat, she grabbed two diet bars just in case she'd be gone longer than expected. Prepared and ready, Ahsoka reluctantly opened the cockpit and exited her ship. 'Hopefully it doesn't take too long to find whatever the Force led me here for.' Ahsoka thought to herself. As if in response to her thought, the ground opened up right beneath her feet!
Ahsoka fell down a narrow opening in the ice which slowly changed angle into more of a slide. Within seconds she was dozens of meters below the surface. The bumpy yet slick slide leveled out and Ahsoka was able to bring herself to a stop at the opening of what appeared to be a complex system of catacombs. It was unlike anything Ahsoka had ever seen. Tunnels branched out in every direction, but there was no sign of any architecture or structure. It was as if the tunnels were naturally occurring within the ice. One thing did seem familiar though; despite being deep underground, there was a soft and low ambient lighting allowing Ahsoka enough sight to navigate the caves. Such mysterious ambient lighting was present in the ancient Jedi Temple also on Ilum where most Jedi went to find their first lightsaber crystals.
With no foreseeable way to go back the way she came in, Ahsoka chose a tunnel and began exploring the mysterious underground labyrinth. She could easily tell that this was no ordinary system of caves. The Force was strong down there; very strong. As she carefully walked through the tunnels she began hearing whispers. "Is someone there?" She called out. Her voice echoed through the tunnels with no reply. Ahsoka had heard of places like this. The Force was sometimes concentrated in various areas across the galaxy both Light and Dark. She knew that she was in such a conduit of the Force. What she didn't know was whether it was a sanctuary for good or a domain of evil.
The whispers were getting louder. Ahsoka could tell she getting close to something or someone, but hesitated to call out again. She didn't have lightsabers to defend herself anymore. She would have to be completely reliant on the Force. When the whispers were becoming too much to bear, too much chaos resonating in her montrals, she felt a presence. The presence was familiar, but impossible. Before she had time to comprehend it, a voice called to her from immediately behind her. "You should've killed me."
Ahsoka spun around to nearly tap noses with Barriss Offee. She was a couple years younger and covered in frost. The shivering and weak Barriss stood there staring at Ahsoka with an absent expression on her face. Ahsoka, startled, took a step back and immediately recognized Barriss as she was when they had encountered Geonosian brain worms together. Ahsoka's mixed emotions about Barriss bubbled up to the surface, but seeing her as the girl Ahsoka once saved and befriended kept her accusatory thoughts at bay. She tried to dismiss the vision. "You're not real."
"You should've killed me on that ship. Then no one would've been hurt." Barriss continued to stare blankly at Ahsoka as she shivered uncontrollably as if she was minutes from freezing to death. Her olive skin was nearly white and her usually sapphire blue eyes were glazed over with a milky complexion.
Ahsoka's eyes lit with rage at Barriss' statement. "On no! Don't you dare blame everything that has happened on me! You bombed the Temple! You killed Letta! YOU FRAMED ME!" As if she were defeated by the outburst, Barriss fell to her knees and faded away. "Hey! Barriss!" Ahsoka shouted through the frozen catacombs, but she was once again alone. After taking a moment to calm herself, Ahsoka accepted that it was just a hallucination and kept walking.
The whispers of the cave began to cluster again. Ahsoka expected the same pathetic Barriss to reappear, but she didn't. Instead, she started to hear the echo of footsteps; fast footsteps. She looked back the way she came and there was nothing coming. She looked ahead and suddenly a very menacing Barriss Offee in a black jumpsuit and cloak was running full-tilt at Ahsoka with two red lightsabers ignited! Ahsoka reacted on instinct to pull her sabers to the ready, but she didn't have her Jedi weapons anymore. Resorting to her last line of defense, Ahsoka tried to Force push Barriss away as she got closer, but Barriss wasn't affected at all by it. With a long leap, Barriss was right in front of Ahsoka swinging her red lightsabers wildly.
Ahsoka bent and rolled to dodge the aggressive attacks, but Barriss was too fast. When Ahsoka saw one blade coming at her as she dodged the other she closed her eyes and prepared for the blow, but she didn't feel it. Ahsoka continued to hear the humming and swooshing of lightsabers all around her, but she wasn't being harmed. She opened her eyes to see Barriss swinging the red lightsabers all around Ahsoka without hitting Ahsoka. Bewildered by the experience, Ahsoka began looking for answers. She noticed that Barriss Offee wasn't wearing Ventress' mask like she did when they dueled in the Coruscant underworld. Ahsoka saw Barriss' face and it did not match her body language.
She dove and swung her lightsabers all around Ahsoka with tremendous intensity as the startled togruta stood up slowly, but Barriss' face was covered in tears with an expression of sheer terror and pain. "Barriss… what's happening here?" As soon as Ahsoka spoke, Barriss Offee disappeared once more as if she was nothing but a shadow. Ahsoka was left alone again with nothing but the whispering and the cold.
"Ahsoka…" Barriss' voice could be heard amidst the whispers of the tunnels. "Ahsoka…" This time, Barriss sounded youthful and cheerful, but very weak. Bewildered and not sure how to make sense of what was going on, Ahsoka Tano couldn't turn back. She had to see this experience through. The Force called her to this labyrinth underneath Ilum and it would continue to guide her. "Ahsoka…" With what strength she could muster, Ahsoka began to follow Barriss Offee's voice.
After a few different tunnel junctions, Ahsoka came to a large room. There was a small ball of light in the center of the room glowing faint blue. Ahsoka stepped into the room and the small light began to glow brighter as a medical bay seemed to materialize around it. Within seconds, Ahsoka was observing a memory long hidden away in the back of her mind. The small light was an orb of concentrated Force energy in Barriss Offee's hand. Barriss was healing a younger Ahsoka Tano who slept in a medical bay. Barriss was speaking softly to Ahsoka in the memory.
"Ahsoka… Can you hear me?" Barriss was healing areas of frostbite on Ahsoka's body along with cuts and scrapes from when Barriss shattered a glass panel in Ahsoka's direction. "Ahsoka… I'm so sorry. I tried so hard to control it, but the brain worm was stronger than me. I hope someday you can forgive me." Barriss finished healing Ahsoka and the blue orb of light faded away. Barriss sat there for a while watching Ahsoka sleep. The young mirialan placed Ahsoka's hand in hers and held it tightly. "I'll never let anything bad happen to you again. I promise."
"Don't make promises you can't keep." Ahsoka said softly as she kept her eyes closed.
"Ahsoka? You're awake!" Barriss was excited and panicked at the same time.
"Yeah. Someone was kind enough to ignore their own injuries and fix me up with a little Force trick they know." Ahsoka's confident smirk stretched up the left side of her face as she opened her eyes to look at Barriss. "That's a dumb promise, Barriss. We're Jedi. It's our job to go where bad stuff is happening."
Barriss chuckled a little, but then grew really sad. Her face began to contort full of pain and sorrow. "Ahsoka, I'm so sorry for what I did-"
"-Hey!" Ahsoka interrupted. "Don't be sorry. You weren't in control. I don't blame you for what happened. I'm just glad that you're alright."
Barriss continued to look down to the floor with a sorrowful expression. "Ahsoka… I must ask. Why didn't you kill me? I asked you to. I had one chance to speak and I didn't plea for help or tell you to run. I asked you to kill me. Why didn't you?"
Ahsoka reached over to Barriss' chin and raised the young mirialan's head so that their eyes met. "I couldn't kill you, Barriss. Even in the face of my own death, I couldn't kill you. You're my friend." Ahsoka smiled reassuringly.
A single tear rolled down Barriss' face. "I couldn't kill you either. Given the situations were reversed… I don't think… I know I would never be able to even harm you. You're too special to me. You're my closest friend." Ahsoka gripped Barriss' hand tightly and they shared a warm smile.
In that tender moment, the vision faded and Ahsoka was left alone again in the endless tunnels of ice underneath the surface of Ilum. A tear had rolled half way down her cheek and froze onto her face. She turned to leave the opening and return to the tunnels in search of an exit, but was stopped when she turned to see Barriss standing right in front of her. This time, Barriss looked the same as she did when she confessed to the Temple bombing in front of the Republic Courts.
"I remember that conversation. I remember it very well." Barriss stated almost mournfully.
Ahsoka quickly snapped the frozen tear from her face and scowled at the newest vision of Barriss Offee. "Yeah, I do too. If only I knew how hollow your words were!"
Barriss' face expressed an increasing amount of sorrow. "Not hollow, Ahsoka. I meant every word and I still do. You're my closest friend."
"You certainly have an odd way of showing it. You framed me for terrorism and murder!" Ahsoka was done playing mind games. It was time to finish this odyssey of Barriss-centric visions.
"No, Ahsoka. I didn't frame you. I didn't kill Letta. I didn't kill those people in the Jedi Temple hangar." Barriss turned away and began walking away. This was certainly unexpected for Ahsoka who, after a moment of bewilderment, sprinted shortly to catch up and then keep stride beside the vision of Barriss. "Did you not see my face when the guards took me away in court? I wasn't angry or resentful. I was scared and upset." She paused for a moment to let Ahsoka recall the memory. "Also, did it not occur to you that something wasn't right after I confessed? They didn't ask me any questions. They didn't ask for proof to back up my confession. Also, I only confessed to attacking the Jedi Temple, not killing Letta or framing you. So much was left unresolved, and yet they immediately silenced me by ordering the guards to take me away and dismissed your trial. As Jedi, we both know that the court system of the Republic is not that efficient nor that negligent."
Ahsoka's mind was buzzing with second-guessed thoughts. "What are you saying, Barriss? You're not innocent but you're not guilty? What are you getting at with the suspicion in the courts actions? Are you going to be executed wrongfully?" The vision of Barriss vanished before answering. "No! Barriss! Come back! Talk to me! I… I'm not angry anymore! I just want to understand!" Ahsoka's shouting faded into the ever-present whispers of the seemingly endless ice tunnels.
She walked on for a few very long and contemplative moments before Barriss Offee finally reappeared, but in yet another form. This time, Barriss stood at the far end of a long and narrow tunnel. She was barely close enough to be recognized as the ill-fated mirialan. Ahsoka was glad to get another chance for Barriss to answer some of her questions. She briskly walked closer and closer to Barriss, but the new vision was difficult for Ahsoka to see without looking away as she approached.
She was a couple years older. Barriss' eyes were glowing yellow with a flex of red. Her arms were cut off and replaced with robotic limbs that gave her retractable razor blades along her finger tips and other weaponized accessories. The left side of her head was shaved to allow a large cybernetic component to have been drilled into her skull. Finally, a chest apparatus with tubes running outward from it and into her shoulders and back seemed to regulate the mechanical breathing sound that she was making. Barriss' voice was still the same, but sounded very labored as if it took a lot of strength to say only a few words. "Ahsoka, I'm not going to be executed at all. They have a fate far worse than death in store for me."
Ahsoka stood eye to eye with the vision. Even with the diamond facial tattoos and what was left of her dark lavender hair, Barriss hardly even resembled the former Jedi Ahsoka had grown to care for. "What do you mean, Barriss? What's happened to you?"
"No, Ahsoka. The question is what IS happening to me." Before giving Ahsoka a chance to respond, the vision faded. Ahsoka hoped that it was just another pause between the visions of Barriss, but the whispers that filled the cave had also fallen silent. Ahsoka was alone. The only sound was the sound of her footsteps and her shallow breathing as the frigid coldness of the catacombs began to seep through her clothes and into her bones.
"I don't understand. Why would the Force lead me here to see Barriss? What did she mean about the courts? Who are the people who have other plans than execution? I don't know what to think anymore…" Ahsoka openly spoke to herself. Her echoed voice helped dissipate the silence and coldness that was beginning to ware her down. The questions slowly contorted into rejected thoughts. "There's nothing I can do about it anyways! I'm not a Jedi anymore. I'm not involved anymore. Even if I were, there would be no way I could even get close enough to Barriss to talk to her in person. This was all pointless! All you've done is mess with my head! What sort of game is this!?"
Ahsoka didn't even know who she was yelling at; the Force itself perhaps? Her frustration started consuming her. She stopped in one of the many identical tunnels that went on and on without end and sat down to eat one of her diet sticks. "I need to stop focusing on the past and deal with the issue at hand. I'm trapped. If I don't get out of here I'm going to die. That's the crisis. That's my focus." Ahsoka finished her diet bar a little quicker than she'd liked and then adjusted her sitting position. She sat cross-legged with her hands resting on her knees. Ahsoka closed her eyes and began to meditate.
She tried to focus on finding balance and perhaps search for a solution regarding her escape, but her mind kept falling back to her encounters with the different Barriss Offee visions. Even more than survival, she wanted answers. Ahsoka wanted her experiences on Ilum explained with no more riddles or other mind games. She was consumed with the desire for answers. Despite her wishing, she never thought about how those questions would be answered. Sure enough, a very unexpected voice called her back from her meditation. "Are you happy now, child?"
Ahsoka's eyes snapped open to the sound of her own voice. She rose to her feat to meet the gaze of an older version of herself. Only once before had Ahsoka ever seen the 'potential future' of herself and that was on Mortis. This time, her future self looked different. Her Jedi clothing was replaced with utilitarian clothes and light armor. The colors were still her usual red and grey, aside from a white, faded emblem that was on the Future Ahsoka's right shoulder. "What sort of trick is this?" Ahsoka asked the vision skeptically.
"Ahsoka, I'm your potential future." The vision said simply.
"You don't look the same as last time." Ahsoka stated defensively.
"The future is always in motion, young one. Much has changed in your life and therefore I have changed to align with your new future… a darker future." The vision looked tired as if she had been fighting relentlessly for days.
"A darker future? What are you talking about? I thought you were a hallucination from the Daughter on Mortis. How are you here?" Ahsoka's mind was buzzing with questions.
"I am, in a way, the Daughter. My life was given to return yours. With that act, a part of me was transferred into you, Ahsoka. It is places like here where the Force flows immensely where I obtain enough power to speak with you, but not for long." The vision of Ahsoka's future self was becoming transparent as if growing weaker.
"So, you're not me. Did you bring me here? Was it you who gave me such a powerful urge to come here and fall into these endless ice caves?" Ahsoka asked warily. She struggled to get her head wrapped around all that she had experienced so far.
"I am you, and I am not you. Ahsoka, you have it in you to be an incredible force for good. Don't deny compassion to those who are closest to you." The vision grew weaker still. Her feet were hardly visible anymore.
"So it was you, not Barriss." Ahsoka was beginning to feel deceived.
"No. It wasn't me. I used what power I could to connect you with her. She has experienced in her sleep what you have experienced in these tunnels." The vision disappeared and then returned faintly. "Ahsoka, there is a terrible darkness on the horizon. The sun is setting on the Republic and a new era is going to begin. I cannot see how it can be stopped now, but you can still make a difference. You can save your friend from the terrible fate that I let you see…" The vision faded away.
"Wait! How!? How can I save Barriss!? What darkness are you talking about?" Ahsoka looked all around as if hoping to find the vision of her future self once more, but she was alone. She suddenly felt the urge to run. Trusting her instincts, she sprinted off down the tunnel and then through the next and the next. She stopped at a junction. There was a tunnel to her left and right.
"Turn left, and you forfeit your friend for a peaceful life amidst the coming darkness. Turn right, and you will find what I brought you here for." The voice of the older Ahsoka Tano could be heard as a faint echo in the cave. All of the experiences with Barriss that she had just gone through replayed in Ahsoka's mind with added weight.
"If that was really Barriss… She really is innocent." Ahsoka thought out loud to herself. "But she isn't. She confessed…" Then the image of a future Barriss Offee stripped down to a small remnant of the woman she once was struck her mind like a dagger to the heart. The sound of the mechanical, labored breathing filled Ahsoka's montrals. "I don't care what's been done anymore. Something's not right. Nothing adds up. Regardless of what really happened, she doesn't deserve that fate." Ahsoka closed her eyes and took a deep breath in as if drawing in courage from the Force. Then, she turned to her right and took one assertive step. She opened her eyes in the direction of the tunnel and started to see a faint glowing light.
Slowly, Ahsoka traveled down the tunnel of unknown destinies. The faint light began to sparkle brighter. After a few turns and a steady drop deeper underground, Ahsoka arrived at a round chamber with two crystals floating in the center. She walked up to them and examined the crystals for a moment. They were kyber crystals. With these she would make two new lightsabers. The crystal sparkled with a golden tint. These crystals would produce yellow lightsaber blades. With absolute certainty, Ahsoka reached forward and grabbed the crystals. As soon as they were in her hands, the chamber began to shake violently. Ahsoka fell to her hands and knees as the ice chamber jolted upward. It shook in every direction, but it was clear that the room was moving upwards.
In moments the ceiling and walls gave way to blistering winds and snowfall. Ahsoka Tano was back on the blizzard-torn surface of Ilum. Even more amazing, she was only a few steps away from her P-38 starfighter. She quickly got in it to get out of the weather. Once inside, Ahsoka secured her new lightsaber crystals in her backpack behind her seat and started the ship to prepare for takeoff. As the ship warmed up, Ahsoka sat back and tried to reach out to Barriss through the Force. Not sure if Barriss could hear her or not, Ahsoka sent one message. 'Don't give up. I'm coming to save you, Barriss.'
