A Criminal Minds Story

Chapter 1

Reid was angry. Just one look at his face and could tell he was pissed. "Damn it!" Reid cursed as he almost tripped on a branch that had fallen off the tree."Reid! Hey Reid! Wait a minute!" a voice yelled to him from behind. "I guess I have to wait for her. After all, she is my daughter." Reid thought, slowing his fast pace a little bit. "Why did you take off like that dude! You were, like, zooming out the door! So of course I grabbed my stuff and ran after you. I haven't noticed before but you're really fast!" The girl finished, trying to catch her breath. Reid just waited impatiently for her to do just that.

When she did, Reid said "Ryan I'm sorry but I'm just in a bad mood, ok?" Ryan then said "Oh. Ok." Reid and Ryan then walked silently to Reid's car and Reid got in the driver's seat and was about to start the car up when he noticed Ryan hadn't got in the car. "Ryan get in the car." When Ryan shook her head Reid sighed and got out of the car to see what was wrong. "Ryan, why won't you get in the car?" Ryan paused before saying "You said that lots of people died because they got in a car with a drunk or really angry person and they were driving and they got in an accident and died. You're angry." Reid sighed. "Look Ryan. I'm calm. It's just stress, okay? I was angry but I'm calm now, see?" Reid put on a calm face. Ryan still had that look on her face like 'I still don't believe you' kind of look. Reid was getting impatient. Fast. Reid sighed angrily. That was a bad idea because Ryan then pointed it out. "See! You're still angry! You lied!" Reid had had enough.

His temper was finally getting to him. "Ryan Emily Reid, if you don't get in this car, there will be a little idiotic girl that will pay the consequences. Dearly." Ryan's eyes widened at that. Quickly saying a "Yes sir." She quickly got in the car and put on her seatbelt. Reid, who was shaking his head at Ryan's actions, got in the car and started it up. He then looked at Ryan, who was grabbing the safety bar on the top of the car like she was about to die and the only thing that was going to save her was the bar. "Ryan what are you doing?" Reid asked. The answer he got was "Hanging on for dear life." Reid frowned and playfully hit Ryan in the head. "You really think I drive that bad?" He asked Ryan. "Ummm...Yes." Ryan said, remembering the first time she had rode with Reid. He had almost crashed into 7 buildings, 4 cars, 5 people, 3 dogs and 2 fire hydrants. Reid scowled. He wasn't THAT bad. He had gotten better. As Reid pulled out of the parking lot, he drove to their apartment with Ryan saying "Reid! Reid! Please! I can walk it's no problem really! Please? REID!"

Chapter 2

"There. We're home. It wasn't that bad, was it?" Reid said, turning to Ryan, who was gripping the safety bar so tight her hand was turning white. Ryan's eyes were wide with fear. Reid rolled his eyes. "Ryan. We are at home." He repeated, waiting for a response. "Reid. I just want to ask you something." "What is it Ryan?" Reid asked. "Who taught you how to drive?" Reid sighed and started to massage his forehead. "She's going to drive me up the wall." Reid muttered as he got out of the car. Ryan then realized that Reid had already gotten out of the car so Ryan quickly grabbed her bright bag and got out of the car. Reid was waiting for her and when she got by his side, he locked the car and they both walked into the apartment building. When they got inside their apartment, Ryan flopped down on to the old couch and pulled out her drawing book from her rainbow bag and started drawing. "What are you drawing Ryan?" Reid asked as he sat down by her. Ryan looked up sharply, but avoided eye contact. "Umm….. I need to go…..to my room now….. To get colored pencils." Ryan said, getting up suddenly.

She had a shifty look on her face. Unfortunately for Ryan, Reid saw it and started to get suspicious. "Ryan, what are you drawing?" Ryan stopped moving toward her room instantly. She paused before saying "I need colored pencils. After I'm done, I'll let you see, but don't tell anyone. Ok Reid?" She turned and looked at Reid, waiting for a response from him. "Ok. I promise I won't tell anyone." Reid said, not breaking his eye contact with her. Ryan nodded and went in her room and got her colored pencils out. She then got onto her bed and started to carefully color in the picture she had drawn.

Reid waited for Ryan to come back but she didn't. "I guess she just wants to color alone." So Reid got up and went to his room to get a book from his mini-library. "Hmmm… I guess I'll read….. Alice in Wonderland." He found the book he was looking for and went to the living room/kitchen/dining room and sat on the worn couch and he started reading.

30 peaceful minutes later…

Reid was on the last chapter. He had to finish it. When he picked up a book and started reading, he couldn't stop. "Reid! Reid! Dr. Spencer Reid!" Ryan said, starting to get agitated. She had been trying to get his attention for the last 5 minutes. Ryan took a breath and closed her eyes. A thought came bursting out of her brain. She thought it over quickly." Yes. That should get his attention." She nodded to herself that that was a great idea to get his attention. She took a big breath just as Reid finished his book and he was about to close it when he heard his daughter say " Reid, I'm going to get a tattoo."

Chapter 3

Reid was shocked. What did she just say! "What did you just say!" Reid practically yelled, turning abruptly toward Ryan, his eyes narrowed angrily. "Yes! It worked! I got your attention! Yay!" Ryan exclaimed happily, unaware Reid was still staring at her, obviously angry. Ryan smiled at Reid and finally noticed he was not happy. "I want answers. Now." Reid said firmly. Reid stared at her, waiting.

"Oh. Umm…. I just wanted to get your attention. I'm not actually thinking of getting a tattoo." Ryan said, getting nervous at what Reid would do if she had been thinking about getting a tattoo. Reid paused and thought "If she just waited longer then she wouldn't have said that." He then finally said "You better not get a tattoo, because if you do, there will be a very unhappy little girl in VERY deep trouble. Do you understand?"

Ryan nodded her head scared like. "Well, I really can't show him my design then, can I ?" Ryan thought. She had drawn tattoos everywhere on this sheet she printed out from online. It already had a girl lightly drawn on it, so she decided to deepen the lines and draw tattoos all over on the girl's arms. It was finished and done, but she realized if Reid got THAT worked up on her getting a tattoo, then it really wasn't a good idea to show him the tattoo design. "So Ryan, where's that drawing you wanted to show me?" Reid asked, suddenly calm. Whiskers, their cat, jumped on the couch, landing right onto Reid's lap. "Dang it! What am I going to tell him? That it's not done?" Ryan thought. Suddenly another one of her 'brilliant' ideas came racing through her head.

She immediately blurted it out confident that that would be a great idea. "The cat ate it." She said proudly.

Chapter 4

Reid couldn't believe it. Ryan was such a bad liar. "Ryan" He paused. " Do you honestly believe that I would believe that?" Reid said, trying to keep the laughter out of his voice, but failed. Ryan was shocked. She thought that would work. She then realized that was a terrible lie. She didn't even think. Just blurted it out like she usually did. " I'm so stupid!" She muttered. Reid didn't hear her because was laughing so hard. Reid then decided he was going to hit Ryan with a pillow because she lied to him. He grabbed a pillow and BAM. Ryan literally fell off the couch, instinctively grabbing for a pillow for support. "REID! That was not at all cool, man!" She then hit him with the pillow she had in her hands. Reid then laughed, shocked at how Ryan couldn't even hit that well. "That's all you've got? Because I didn't feel anything." The 'doctor' said, laughing but keeping his guard up. Ryan then hit him again. Spencer hit back.

28 minutes of pillow-fighting later….

Ryan laided sprawled across the living room floor, laughing/crying like no tomorrow. Reid, on the other hand, was standing over her, grinning. "I won." Reid said triumphantly, still grinning like a hyena. "Hey Reid." Morgan said, bursting into room. " I was wondering….." He stopped, staring at Reid and Ryan oddly. Derek then finally said "Reid, what the hell are you doing man?" "I won." Reid responded, smiling like he just won the lottery. Derek was still confused." Won what?" Ryan answered this time. "The nerd that's on top of me won the pillow-fight we had." Ryan then got up and brushed the cat hair off of her clothes.

Reid then grinned maliciously. " Hey Ryan. Do you want to play another game?" Ryan then promptly said " No thanks Reid I have work to do. Don't you? Or did you finish it?" She turned to go to her room but Morgan stopped her. " Hotch told me to come get both of you. We're going out to eat apparently." Ryan nodded and went to her room so she could put on nicer clothes. While she was getting ready, Morgan then said to Spencer " You should go get ready too." Reid nodded but then asked " What restaurant are we going to?" Derek sighed and then said " How the hell am I supposed to know? All Hotch told me was to go get you and Ryan. That's all I know." Reid paused then said " Ok." He then went to get dressed. Morgan sighed and sat down on the couch to wait.

15 minutes later…

Ryan came out of her room, grinning. Derek took one look at her and blurted out "Oh my God! You look like a mini-rainbow!" Ryan replied "Yes, I know. Thank you." Ryan was wearing a bright rainbow dress that came down almost to her knees. She was also wearing black high-tops and neon rainbow knee-high socks. To complete the look, she wore her hair in pigtails. "Do I look okay?" The brightly dressed girl asked, grinning ear to ear. "That outfit is kind of bright." Derek said, smiling.

"Oh my gosh. Where is it? Where is it?" Reid muttered, franticly searching everywhere in his room. He had been looking for his special occasion tie. He needed that tie. Now. "Dang it!" Reid muttered to himself. He had searched everywhere with no success. "Maybe Ryan knows where it is." Spencer said, while walking out of the room. "Hey Reid. Are you ready?" Derek asked Reid as Derek got up. Reid then saw his daughter no…..wait…..rainbow puke? "No….. What happened to Ryan though? It looks like a rainbow threw her up." Spencer said slowly, looking at his daughter oddly. "I wanted to look special." Ryan said, smiling idiotically. "That's a little too bright. Why don't you put on something less bright?" Reid suggested a look on his face that said' Go change now'. But, of course, Ryan wanted to be a stubborn little girl. "Can I PLEASE wear this? Please Reid? Pretty please?" Ryan begged, getting on her knees, a puppy dog look on her face. "No Ryan. You are not wearing that. We are going out to eat, not to play." Reid said firmly, narrowing his eyes at Ryan. Ryan frowned like she was thinking hard.

Ryan then grinned mischievously at Reid. "Well, if you let me go to dinner like this, then I'll let you have your special occasion tie back." Reid was staring at her. She just didn't know where his tie was, she took it from him. Reid stared hard at her. "Did you steal it from me?" He asked. Ryan paused and then said "Let's just say I found it on the couch and decided it might come in handy." Reid sighed and closed his eyes. "Damn it." Reid thought. "How am I going to get it back?" Ryan was still grinning and now she was waving Reid's 'special occasion' tie back and forth. "Umm…we need to hurry up guys, or Hotch'll be pretty pissed, and personally, I don't want to see that." Morgan said, checking his watch. Ryan looked at the wall clock. It read 5:39.

"Hotch wants all of us at the restaurant by 6." Morgan said, staring at the wall clock. "Ryan give me my tie back." Reid said firmly, staring at Ryan. "Why should I?" Ryan said, still waving the tie back and forth."Just give him the damn tie already!" Derek said, snatching at the tie and, unfortunately for Ryan, he got it. Morgan handed Reid the tie and as Reid scampered off to his bedroom he called to Ryan "Go change into something else that looks nicer and doesn't make them go blind when they look at you. Ryan made a huffy-sort of noise and went to go change. Morgan then sat on the couch again and waited.

6 minutes later….

Ryan came out, a frown in place. Derek rolled his eyes at her. She was wearing a black skirt that almost came down to her knees with a white border at the bottom. She also had a black and white striped shirt on and black flats. Her hair was still in pigtails with a black band on one side and a white band on the other. "It takes Reid THAT long to put on a stupid tie?" Ryan asked impatiently as she sat down by Morgan. "I don't know maybe." Morgan answered, smiling at Ryan. In response to his smile he got a frown. Reid came out of his room, ready to go. Ryan then stood up to show Reid her outfit.

"Well? Is this okay to wear?" She asked rudely. He smiled and said "That's better. The only thing that's missing is a smile!" Reid kept smiling at Ryan, trying to get her to smile but she kept her frown in place. Reid sighed and said "At least smile when we get to the restaurant, ok?" Ryan nodded and checked the time. It was now 5:47. They were running out of time. Fast. "We need to go now." Morgan said as he was heading for the door. "Ok." Reid said as he followed Derek. Ryan did not say a word but she followed the two.

Chapter 5

The drive to the restaurant took 5 minutes. The three then got out of the car and went inside the restaurant. There was a sign that 'Please seat yourself'. Reid then spotted the others and Reid, Derek and Ryan headed over to the table. "Hi." Ryan said, a smile on her face as she looked at everyone who was seated at the table. "So Rossi, Hotch, JJ, Me, Reid and Morgan are going to eat together. Wow I wonder where Emily is though." Ryan thought to herself as she absentmindedly sat by Rossi. Enormous mistake.

Ryan noticed who she was sitting by and silently prayed Rossi wouldn't put poison in her food or something. She had pulled a hilarious prank on him just the day before. Rossi did not think it was funny at all and to prove it he chased her down until she hid under Garcia's desk. "He still doesn't look happy but… This is Rossi were talking about. He's never happy." Ryan thought.

Spencer sat next to Ryan and Morgan sat by JJ. Rossi was staring at Ryan, his eyes narrowed. Ryan saw him. She looked away but she could still feel him staring at him. Hotch noticed. "Why are you staring at Ryan, Dave?" Hotch asked ,confused. Ryan screamed on the inside.

"Hotch didn't know about the prank! Dang it! Hotch is going to kill me!" Ryan thought. "You mean you don't know?" Rossi asked Hotch. "No I don't." Hotch answered. "What are you talking about?" Reid asked, his eyes clouded with confusion. Spencer's eyes darted to Ryan, who was making frantic and scared faces and shaking her head a little.

"I'm dead. I'm dead. I'm dead. Dang it! Reid doesn't know either! Only Morgan and JJ know and I can see them trying to hold back their laughter. Damn them." Ryan thought, her mind racing.

"Well, since neither of you know, Ryan pulled a prank on me and I chased her everywhere." Rossi said, bending down a little so he spoke right into Ryan's ear so she could hear every single word.

Hotch was the first to glare at Ryan, eyes narrowed. He then asked "What kind of prank was it Ryan?" Ryan was guiltily staring at Hotch, wanting him to just disappear somewhere else. Ryan closed her eyes, imagining she isn't in this situation and when she opens her eyes she's in a magical place where she is dancing and singing and she doesn't have care in the world. But when she opened her eyes, to her dismay, Hotch was still there and Morgan and JJ were still laughing their butts off.

"Well Ryan why don't you tell him what kind of prank it was?" Rossi asked, still saying all of this into Ryan's ear. "Rossi's too loud." Ryan thought. "Umm…. It was just…. a little….prank that's all." Ryan said, biting her lower lip. "Just a little one? So you call scaring the death out of me by putting fake little snakes in my coffee cup and telling everyone about it a little prank?" Rossi asked, drilling holes into Ryan as he spoke. Ryan gulped. She could FEEL Hotch's and Rossi's glares on her. She then realized Reid was glaring at her too. "Damn it." Ryan mumbled to herself, but since Rossi was already too close for comfort, he heard it. "You should get soap in your mouth for saying that." Rossi said, but to Ryan it sounded like he yelled in her ear. "What did she say?" Reid asked ,bending down like Rossi was doing. "Dang it! They're too close to me. Especially Rossi. I can feel his breath and its starting to get to me. Where's a dang waitress when you need one?" Ryan thought, a clouded expression on her face. Reid saw the expression and mistakenly thought she was thinking her way out. "Don't you dare try to think your way out of this, Ryan Emily Reid because if you do, when we get home you're in big trouble either way." Reid whispered dangerously. Rossi heard it, but Hotch was deaf at the moment because he was telling the two agents who had laughed the whole time to shut up.

"Hi can I get your drinks for you?" a waitress said popping out of nowhere. "Yes I would like coffee." Hotch said. "I want a Dr. Pepper please." JJ said without laughing this time. She skipped over Morgan for some reason and went to Rossi. "Beer please." The waitress looked confused and after a little pause she said "Umm….we don't serve beer here and umm…. We have a no-alcohol rule so…umm…. Would you like something else to drink?" The waitress smiled at Dave.

He didn't smile back. Instead he grumbled loud enough for the super-idiotic waitress to hear. "Water then." Ryan guessed she didn't hear what else Rossi was mumbling. "And you?" The blond waitress asked Ryan, smiling that freaky smile. "Oh..I would like Sprite please." Ryan said, smiling a freaky smile right back at the waitress.

Reid's turn. "I would like coffee." "All right! I got everyone's drinks, correct? Good. They'll be right out." The waitress turned and walked off before Morgan could say anything. "Damn it." Morgan mumbled. "I can't believe they don't serve beer here." Rossi mumbled, but the only people that heard it were Ryan and JJ. JJ burst into giggles again. Morgan whispered to her and she whispered back. Morgan then went into chuckles and it increased when they looked at Rossi or at each other.

Finally Hotch asked "What the hell are you laughing about?" Ryan then started giggling a little. Reid found out what they were laughing about and tried to keep his laughter in. He failed. The only ones who weren't giggling or laughing were Hotch and Rossi because they weren't any fun. Ryan accidently looked at Rossi and that started new giggles. Rossi rolled his eyes at the immature group of agents. Well, except Ryan of course. She wasn't an agent. "Here are your drinks. Enjoy." The waitress said as she handed out drinks to everyone, even Morgan. Morgan's drink was some clear liquid. Morgan tasted it and made a disgusted face. "That is definitely not water." Morgan said, wiping his mouth.

The waitress popped out behind Morgan and smiled that weird smile. "What would you like to eat?" She said. Rossi glared at the waitress. She saw and smiled that freaky smile again at him. She looked like a mix between a shark smiling to a hungry fat man who's hallucinating that you're a big bowl of fatty goodness. Everyone ordered their food and the waitress went away.

So they all ate ("I swear Rossi put something in my food when I wasn't looking." Ryan mumbled.) And everyone went home. "Night Reid. See ya Monday." Morgan said, yawning. "Night Morgan." Reid said, also yawning. He shut the door quietly, and Ryan gulped as he turned around and stared at her. "Go to your room. Now." Reid said crossly, staring at Ryan like an eagle. Ryan nodded her head and skittered to her room. She quickly shut the door, but it wouldn't make a difference. She, herself, knew what was going to happen. Her father was going to come in here and beat the crap out of her! "Why did I pull that prank? Why do I have to be so stupid sometimes? Ryan thought franticly. A sudden knocking startled the 13 year old girl out of her thoughts. "Can I come in?" Reid voice asked, but to Ryan it sounded like the Voice of Doom.

Reid came into Ryan's room, a serious but thoughtful expression on his face. He sat on the bed and looked at Ryan as he spoke "I don't want to do this Ryan, but if I have to, I have to." Ryan then started begging."You don't have to do this Reid. Really." Reid objected by shaking his head and beckoning her over to him. All of the sudden Ryan got jelly legs and wide eyes. Reid sighed and replied to Ryan's reaction. "Don't make me come over there and get you, it will only make your situation right now worse." Ryan, slowly but surely, shuffles over to Reid. "Good girl." Reid says as he bends Ryan over and on to his lap.

Ryan is shaking. "Ryan, I understand you didn't mean to, but all actions deserve consequences, am I correct?" Reid said, his hand coming down sharply and swiftly 5 times before hearing his daughter's answer. "…..Yes your correct Reid…" Ryan said quietly. "Excuse me? I didn't hear that." Reid said, swatting Ryan 5 more times. "OWW! Reid I'm sorry! I said your right! OWW! "You will be sorry." Reid declared. With that said, he keeps swatting Ryan until her bottom was a nice bright crimson. He pauses and says "Ryan, do you understand why I'm spanking you? And if you do, please tell me why." Ryan is sobbing so hard all she made out is that he said something. "Ex-excuse m-me? Wha-what did yo-you sa-say?" Ryan barely cried out. "I asked you if you knew why I was spanking you. Please elaborate if you do." Reid said calmly. "Ohh… umm…. Yeah I know why-y. You spanked me beca-because I pulled a pr-prank on R-Rossi and it embarrassed him….." Ryan said, tears still falling off her face. "Good. Only 13 more swats with the paddle and you will be done." Reid said, pulling out the paddle from behind his back. "NOOOO!" Ryan yelled, trying to get off his lap.

It didn't work. SWAT. "Stop trying to get off my lap." Reid said, annoyed. "Also, I want you to count." Reid added. SWAT. "One." The crying teen said. And when they got to 12 Ryan broke. SWAT. "Please stop Reid please! Ryan pleaded, crying her eyes out. "Count Ryan. There's only one more. You can do it." Reid said in a thoughtful voice. "O-O-Ok…..twelve." Ryan cried out. SWAT. "Thirteen." Ryan gasped. New tears came out of her eyes as she was hugged into a hug by Reid. "It's ok. Shhh…" Reid comforted. Ryan's sobbing turned into sniffles as she slowly fell asleep. Reid smiled and said. "Stay out of trouble now." And as Reid turned off the lights he swore he heard an ' I will.' From the sleeping girl.