Ahh...my first posted venture into the She-Ra category. All my She-Ra stories were hand written long ago and haven't been typed up yet but I thought I would attempt a funny one-shot featuring Hordak.
Hordak's Terribly Horrible No Good Rotten Very Bad Day
Hordak wakes up shielding his eyes against the brightness in the room. "What's going on here?" He gets up and walks over to the window. Looking out he sees he sun shining in brilliant blue sky. "Oh its just the sun." He starts back to bed when he stops suddenly in his tracks. "The sun!?" He turns around and rushes back to the window. Gone is the dank dreary pollution filled air that always hangs over the Fright Zone-replaced by sunlight and blue sky. He cringes backward as a bird flies passed the window. "What in the name of Horde World is going on here?" He looks around as an answer comes to him. "Ah ha! I must be having a nightmare. That is the last time I eat that Golden Spuffle recipe that Shadow Weaver stole from that rebel Madame Razz before bed. I just need to wait until I wake up that's all-then everything will be fine. I'll just stay right here in bed and wait it out." He hops back into bed. As he lands on the bed a spring poking through the mattress gabs him in the butt. "EEOWWW!" He bounces up to the ceiling and his head crashes through the roof above where he gets stuck. "Ugh! Definitely not a dream." Before can free himself one of the flying birds craps on his head. "I should have just stayed in bed." Some of the ceiling around him crumbles away and he falls back down into his room breaking the bed. "Curse those Rebels! It must be some of their magic causing this." He staggers up stepping on the bed spring that poked him in the butt earlier. "OW! OW! OW! OW! OW!" He hops around one foot into the bathroom where he attempts to take a shower but only a spray of ice cold water comes out. "AAHHH!" Jumping out of the shower he comes down on the sore foot. "OUCH!" As he hops around again he trips in front of the window which he spills out of into the moat below. He looks down in disgust to find himself immersed in crystal clear running water. "RRAAAHHH!" As he looks up at the sky another bird craps on his head.
Limping inside later after his unintended bath in the moat Hordak stops the first Horde trooper he sees. "You there have the rebels that did this been captured yet?"
"It wasn't the rebels mighty Hordak."
"Wasn't the rebels? It wasn't the rebels you say?! Then explain to me just who is at fault!"
The robot trooper cowers in fear at Hordak's anger. "W-we-well m-mm-mi-mighty Hor-Hordak it w-was the g-gen-generators."
"Generators? What about the generators and stop that blabbering!"
"Yes mighty Hordak as you command."
"Well? What happened to the generators?"
"They shorted out. And we can't get replacement parts from Horde World until tonight."
"TONIGHT?!" You mean we have to live with all this fresh air-clear water-and sunshine until tonight?"
"Yes mighty one." The trooper cowers in fear sure that Hordak will blow him to bits at the look on his face but when nothing happens he looks up to see Hordak limping down the hall brooding.
"This is worse than the time I captured Perfuma!"
The trooper turns to another one close by. "Maybe we should have just let him think it was the Rebels fault until we got those parts in."
As he attempts to stalk through the Fright Zone while limping on his sore foot he passes Grizzlor.
"Good morning mighty Hordak. Beautiful day isn't it?"
Hordak stops in his tracks and turns around to face Grizzlor. "What did you just say?"
"I asked if you thought it was a beautiful day."
"Beautiful? This is wretched!" What are you standing around here for get out to the other Horde bases on Etheria and scrounge up some parts to fix the generators."
"We already tried that mighty one. They don't have any spare parts."
"BLAAHH!" In frustration Hordak transforms his arm into a cannon and attempts to shoot something but only a fish pops out. "What the?" When he looks down into the cannon a jet of water shoots out and sprays him in the face.
Grizzlor breaks down laughing.
"Oh you thought that was funny did you?"
"Yes-you should have seen the look on your face!" Grizzlor breaks down laughing all over again.
He tries shooting Grizzlor with the cannon but all that comes out is a tiny puff of steam. "Ugh! Get a mop and clean this mess up."
Still laughing Grizzlor goes to look for a mop.
As Hordak turns to limp away to his throne room he slips in the water and slides off the footbridge. As he lands on top of some robot troopers who looks up where Grizzlor is now laughing even harder. "This just isn't my day."
When Hordak finally makes it into his throne room he slumps down in his chair dejected. That is until Mantenna enters the room.
"Beautiful day isn't it Hordak?"
"Its the most wretched day ever. Come closer Mantenna. I have a job for you."
As Mantenna steps forward he looks down to see that he is above the trap door. "Oh no!"
"Oh yes!" Hordak pushes the button on his throne but nothing happens. "What the?" He presses the button several more times in succession until it finally becomes stuck.
Mantenna brightens up. "The power is out. That means the trap door won't work."
"Oh I will make it work. Hordak turns his arm into a blaster ray and fires a blast at the trap door under Mantenna's feet. Instead of busting through it bounces off the trap door and around the room. "What in the name of Horde Prime himself is going on here?"
Mantenna ducks a rebound of the blast. "Don't you remember mighty Hordak? You ordered some of that special paint from the Horde Catalog that is supposed to make walls indestructible after the last time the rebels got in here and the place got busted the place up."
Hordak jumps up from the throne to avoid the blast only to have it come back and strike him in butt after its next rebound. With the shock of it he falls down the stairs.
"Are you okay mighty Hordak?"
Hordak sits up briefly starts to say something thinks its not worth the trouble and just slumps back onto the floor.
"I'll make sure you're left alone until the generators are fixed. Maybe you will feel better then."
"Burn the Horde Catalog all we get from that thing is trouble."
"As you wish mighty one."
Hordak just waves Mantenna off with a groan. Part of the ceiling that was repaired improperly before it was painted caves in after being knocked loose by the laser bouncing off and falls on Hordak.
Hordak doesn't emerge out from under the rubble until he hears the sounds of the generators roaring to life. As he gets up thinking things will finally get back to normal around here he steps on the trap door as the power comes back on. With the stuck button it opens sending him crashing into the depths of the Fright Zone.
Mantenna runs into the throne room. "Oh mighty Hordak everything has been re-" He looks around seeing no sign of Hordak then he looks down as sees the trap door realizing what happened he breaks down laughing.
Hordak looks up as the sounds of laughter reaches him. "This has one terribly horrible no good rotten very bad day." He gets up stalking off toward his room to go to bed only to stop as he gets back to the throne room. "Mantenna bring the Horde Catalog. I need to order a new bed."
"But mighty Hordak you said to burn it because we get nothing but trouble when we order from it."
"This day couldn't possibly get any worse." He looks up as he hears fluttering wings over head only to have a bird crap on him again.
"Hordak are you okay?"
At the rebel camp Bow sits up listening to the loud scream from Hordak. He looks over at Kowl. Hordak must be having a bad day.
"Its about time. He certainly had it coming to him after all the trouble he causes for the rest of the planet."
