Groping in the dark, my hands reach out in fear,
Clutching among the sheets, needing to find him there.
My bed becomes like an endless sea,
And I am drowning, drowning in me.
The shore is within my reach,
true I can span both sides of the shore,
but salvation never touches…
no, it never even intended…
And here the bed is cold!
No, no not nearly so cold…
Ten times too warm, poor heart, ten times…
"Sleep."
But I hear you from a dream.
"Sleep."
Only if it brings me to you…
My hand grasps its prize, my heart lurches
It is too like my own…
A thousand suns could burn in that hand.
And as my heart is torn open,
His cold lips press themselves to my dewy forehead.
A pain so sharp, it is as if I had fallen on a shard of glass,
now plunged into my heart.
Sobs rip from my throat, and I know,
This absence…this absence was meant to kill,
For he's been here all along…
