I don't make any profit from this fic! This is purely for entertainment and fun! Most characters belong to Katsura Hoshino. The rest of them belong to me!


Chapter 1 – The Summoning

"This must be an all time low for me. Spending my spring break in a bookstore." Ryanna thought out loud to herself as she browsed another aisle of books in Barnes and Noble. The seventeen-year-old picked up a romance novel that caught her eye, with the title of 'Demonic Passions', and the image of a gorgeous dark haired man holding a busty and obviously topless woman in his arms. "Heh, note that his arms cover her boobs just to avoid any censorship problems." She mused to herself, turning it over to read the synopsis. After a moment, the teen turned the book back over and sighed. "Doesn't really matter. Can't buy that sort of book until my next birthday anyways." Placing the paperback back on its spot on the shelf, Ryanna moved down the aisle, shifting her selection of books in her arm.

Ryanna Celestina gave a light sigh as she made her way back to the manga and graphic novel section of the store. Being early March, she'd chosen to wear a white raglan shirt with light blue sleeves that went just past her elbows, pairing it with some slightly faded blue skinny jeans and black ballet-flats, with a pair of simple brown sunglasses currently resting on top of her head while inside of the store. She was a girl who dressed for comfort more than fashion most of the time. She also made a mental note to head to the ladies room and refix her ponytail before she set out again. Glancing through the numerous selections of mangas and novels, Ryanna grabbed the newest edition of one of her favorites, surprised that she'd overlooked it when she was in the same section earlier.

Making her way up to the check out, Ryanna smiled a little, the man behind the counter making small talk as he rang up her purchases. Ryanna was on a first name basis with nearly all of the employees of the store. And not just at the Barnes and Noble. The local library, her high school library and one smaller, family owned bookstore were all on a first name basis with the young woman. So much so, that her twin brother Richie had begun to call her 'Belle', after her favorite Disney Princess. Granted, while she would get annoyed with her brother for the nickname at times, most of the time she enjoyed being compared to the 'smartest Princess'.
"Have a nice day, Ryanna." The cashier said, handing the teen her bag with her newly purchased mangas.
"Thanks, you have a good day too, Mike." Ryanna replied as she took her bag from him and headed for the exit. Pulling out and checking her phone for the time from her purse, Ryanna saw that it was just past 11 AM. It still felt too early for her to head home, so the girl decided to take her bike, her main means of personal transport since she'd yet to master driving a car, and head to McDonald's and grab some lunch before heading back to her house.

After fulfilling her desire for a number of cheeseburgers and fries, Ryanna began the trek back to her hilltop house just outside of town. Normally, she would have been a bit more frustrated with the journey back, but with a full stomach and new mangas to be read when she arrived, the blonde girl decided to suck it up. 'You can do with the exercise.' She would add to her thoughts if she felt an urge to complain rising up. Instead, she decided to enjoy the spring day, glancing every so often at the greenery that covered half of the town. Towards the outskirts of town, Ryanna noticed some of the more family owned shops were open, busily going about their days. A few times she heard her name called out and gave a short wave to the shop owners in return as she passed by. It wasn't until she heard an older, slightly accented voice that she caused herself to stop and turn to address the owner of the voice.

"Hello Mr. Beaumont." The girl said with a large smile, moving herself and her bike out of the way on the sidewalk. Quickly locking up her bike to keep it from being stolen and grabbing her bags, the blonde walked towards the Frenchman, as some of her few friends called him.
"Good morning, Ryanna. Having a morning out? Another trip to the bookstore?" The man asked with a kind smile. Wearing a white polo shirt and some brown trousers, the slightly balding 60-ish year old man placed his hands on his hips with a chuckle, noticing the bags in the teen's bike basket.
"Heheheh. Yeah. I wanted to see if they had the newest issue of one of my comics. I was in luck, because they did." She replied with a small blush. The French-born gentleman owned a bookstore that dealt with more antique books, compared to the larger book stores. Somehow, he managed to stay in good business, though Ryanna never really thought to ask why.
"And how are your parents? And your brother?" Mr. Beaumont asked, opening the door for the girl to come in and talk for a few minutes out of the noonday sun.
"They're doing great. Mom and Dad are visiting Europe for a second honeymoon trip, though they intend to be back by the time Spring Break is over. And Richie is actually out of town for said break. A few friends of his took him down to Florida for the week for the usual 'Spring Break experience'. So, I am stuck here at home watching the house." Ryanna explained, walking inside the store and taking off her sunglasses.

"That sounds a tad unfair, chéri. But at least you are being responsible." Mr. Beaumont said as he moved to a small stack of boxes and picked one up, carrying it to the checkout counter. "I am sure that you will have your own vacation once your parents return home. It wouldn't be fair to you to allow your brother to have fun over the week and not you."
"Well, Richie's friends half-kidnapped him, so he'll be in trouble if our parents find out that he left the state, let alone the town." Ryanna said with a light chuckle, half hoping her twin brother would get found out.
"Tell you what, how about you pick out a book you like? On the house?" The man offered, causing Ryanna to widen her eyes. She knew that some of the books in the store could go for hundreds, if not thousands of dollars for the right buyer and depending on condition and edition.
"Gee, that sounds really sweet, but I don't know if I could…" The blonde said, looking around the store. 'Maybe I'll look through and find a book to donate to the library. Or give to Mom and Dad as an anniversary gift.' She thought, feeling too modest to take an expensive book for free, even if it was from a longtime family friend.

The old man opened his mouth to say something but was cut off by the phone at the front desk. "Ah, pardon me. Go ahead, chéri. Look around and see if there is anything that you might like." He said before answering, beginning to speak in French to whomever was on the other end.
Ryanna shrugged lightly as she moved to look through some of the aisles, spotting an opened box near the back, noticing the words 'To Sell' written in a faded black marker on one side. "This could be a good place to look at what's for sale." Ryanna mumbled to herself as she knelt down, placing her bags down and opening the box to get a look at the items inside.

What happened next was something the girl didn't expect.

Upon pulling a larger book out, Ryanna noticed what appeared to be a leather-bound, black colored book. At first glance there didn't seem to be any title on the cover, but upon wiping away some dust, the words 'Liber de Tenebris Magicae' became readable. "Latin. Book of… something magic." She noticed, trying to recall the bits of the dead language that she actually could remember. Strangely, as she wiped off the dust off the rest from the cover, something inside of her seemed to tell her to get that particular book. She didn't know whether to call it a gut feeling or a strange pull. But either way, Ryanna somehow decided that this was the book she'd take from Mr. Beaumont's offer.

Gathering up her things, the seventeen year old made her way back to the counter, waiting patiently as the store owner continued for a few minutes to speak with whoever called him. After he finally hung up, the man turned and smiled at the girl once more. "Find something you like, mon chéri?"
"Yes. I'd like this one, please." Ryanna said, placing the book gently on the counter. What surprised Ryanna was how the man reacted next. Instead of giving his usual smile and making a comment about how the book she picked out was one that he knew she would like, that was not the case. Instead, Mr. Beaumont looked, in a word, terrified. It was an expression that she'd never seen on the Frenchman's face before.

And it scared her to a degree.

"Ryanna, this isn't a book I would suggest you take home. This book was supposed to be discarded. I don't know how you found it." The man said, looking hesitant and trying to recompose himself.
"Mr. Beaumont, you said to pick a book. Well, I want this one. I figure I can have a good laugh about it." Ryanna told him with a light shrug, a small chuckle escaping her lips.
The older man just watched the blonde teen for a few minutes, as if weighing options in his head for whatever reason. Finally, after what seemed to feel like an eternity of sudden silence, Mr. Beaumont moved and placed the book in a bag for her. He had offered any book in the store, but never did he think she would decide on that particular book.

"Just be warned, chéri. This book is not to be taken lightly." Mr. Beaumont said in a tone that one could only describe as ominous, adjusting his glasses. "If you decide to read it, I hope you are ready to accept whatever may happen afterwards. Because if you do, there is no going back." With a final look that seemed to silently beg her to reconsider, he held out the bag to her.

Ryanna only gave a raised eyebrow and a confused look in response. "I'll be careful. Don't worry. I'm not as reckless as my brother." She said, chuckling and trying to ease the tension that had fallen over the store as a result of her choice of book. Carefully, she took the bag from him and gave a smile, as if to say 'there's nothing to worry about.'
"You have a nice day, Mr. Beaumont." Ryanna said, putting her sunglasses back on before leaving the store to head home.

"And you stay safe." The man whispered to himself as the teenager left the store.


"Boooooooooored!" Ryanna grumbled as she turned off the living room TV. Marathoning some of her favorite shows after she got home hadn't done much to alleviate her boredom. She'd read her new manga twice before wanting to catch up on some of her TV shows, since she had the TV and Netflix to herself for the week. Her parents had called around 8 to check in and make sure that she and Richie weren't killing one another. Ryanna had explained that Richie was staying with a friend for the week, as they decided it would be better than fighting for 9 days until their parents returned. Which, in some ways, wasn't completely a lie. Ryanna simply excluded the fact that Richie and said friend were in another state.

Being alone in such a large house did have its downsides more than its upsides. Mostly the fact that her loneliness was made more than obvious, even if it was only for the week. It was far too quiet for Ryanna's comfort most of the time. Since both her parents came from older money, they had built their dream house not long after getting married. The beautiful, two story Victorian-styled house itself seemed more like it belonged somewhere in the English countryside than in Pennsylvania, though she suspected her dad and his side of the family had a hand in that.

Glancing over at the nearest clock, Ryanna flinched at the time. It was already 11:24 PM. Thankfully, she didn't have to worry about school, otherwise her parents probably would have killed her for staying up so late. Picking up the pizza she had ordered some hours ago, she headed back upstairs to her own room. The sounds of her own footsteps echoing unnerved her. Too much quiet always scared her, and made her think too much. Upon reaching her room, she kicked off her black ballet-like slippers and moved to sit down on her bed.

Ryanna just sighed softly, staring up at her ceiling with a blank expression on her face. 'Nothing exciting ever happens to me. Nothing extraordinary ever goes on in this town. I can't even get myself a date during the week that my parents are gone and I have the house to myself.' She grumbled, shoving the pizza box onto her nearby computer desk and knocking over the black book she'd bought earlier at Mr. Beaumont's store. The sound of the book falling snapped her out of her mini-daze, causing her to regain herself entirely as she stood up, noticing the book had fallen open to a page. The blonde raised an eyebrow, seeing the images on the page and instructions for the ritual described on it.

"Summoning a demon to do your bidding?" Ryanna read aloud, glancing over the instructions and requirements. "Yeah right. 'To summon a demon, draw a circle in white on the floor. Then drop the blood of an animal into the circle.' Give me a break. I've seen all this stuff on Supernatural… And it never ends well on there." For a moment, she thought to shut the book and put it back on her desk. But her curiosity got the better of her, causing her to reopen the book and stop on a new page. This one also included summoning a demon, and seemed far simpler and far less bloody. Deciding to have a laugh, the girl went through her house and gathered up the items needed. "Why not? I've not nothing else to do and the entire house to myself." She mused to herself aloud.

Twenty minutes later, everything seemed to be set. "Here it is. 'Draw a circle on the ground with the following symbols. Place the remnants of the body to the East, the breath of life to the West, the flame of the soul to the North and the flow of heart to the South.'" She reread aloud to make sure that she'd taken care of everything. It had taken her close to ten minutes to figure out what the spell called for, referencing the classical elements. The girl had dug out a red chalk from her art supplies and drawn the circle and symbols as best as she could manage on her carpet. Then came the placing of the elements. Her amethyst quartz rock at the eastern point, a few feathers plucked from a Halloween mask to the west, a lit and carefully monitored candle to the north, and a large glass of water at the south. She'd also made sure to grab the salt from the kitchen, just in case.

"Let's see here. 'Wearing a long, flowing garment, recite the incantation below while adding blood to the center of the circle.' Great." Ryanna mumbled as she moved over to her dresser. She pulled out and changed into her only floor length nightgown she still had. Though it seemed more like a type of negligee than a nightgown half the time. Blushing bright red in the face, Ryanna picked up her letter opener and sliced her left pointer finger until she got some blood flowing. Nothing more than a bad paper cut, since she didn't want to hurt herself just for the sake of a laugh.

Taking a deep breath, Ryanna squeezed her left finger until the blood dropped onto the chalk while reciting the incantation from the book, hoping that she would pronounce everything correctly as Latin was not her strong suit.
"O fiend noctis
Servus libido et cupiditas
Apparent autem ad respondendum mea iussa
Da velle meum, et serviant mihi!"

For a minute, then two, then more, nothing seemed to happen. Thinking that the joke had run its course, Ryanna shrugged lightly and shut the book, moving to go turn her lights back on. Just as her finger had reached the light switch and turned it on, she felt the heat in the room rising rapidly. Violet eyes turned to look behind her, and saw the circle glowing in a deep red color as the lights in the room seemed to shut themselves off all of a sudden. Scared by all of this, the teenager fell backwards onto her butt, unable to look away. In the center of the diagram, what looked to be a body began to emerge from the ground, rising up ever so slowly in an almost seductive manner. Once the 'person' had fully emerged from the floor, standing on top of the chalk diagram, Ryanna found that she could only stare in shock, awe and fear at the figure.

It was clearly a male before her. That much was obvious right away. But as Ryanna was able to make out the features of the man, it looked like a youth around her own age, maybe a few years or so older. His glossy, dark blue hair was pulled up into a high ponytail, falling to his waist, while his dark grey eyes seemed to narrow in on her. Her eyes glanced over his body, taking in the lean but muscular figure that he had. The girl wondered how long it had taken him to get a body as perfectly toned as that. That's when Ryanna noticed two things that instantly told her this handsome man was by no means human. First of all, were a set of black horns twisting out of his hair, seeming to come from his temples. And secondly, his ears were distinctly pointed. She didn't even know what to make of the black leather vest and tight black pants he wore with multiple belts on his biceps and on his legs. But she wasn't going to deny that it certainly added to his already high sex appeal.

"You are the one who summoned me. Tell me what you wish." The 'man' said, his dark eyes narrowed at the young woman though his voice was rich and sensual, like chocolate on silk. His facial expression alone made it clear he did not want to be there. But he did not have a choice in the matter. Crossing his arms in front of his chest, he waited for the blonde female to speak and explain why she had called him to her world.

Ryanna only let her mouth hang for a moment before her mind rebooted.

And she screamed.


So this is my first attempt at not only a D. Gray Man fanfic but also a humor fanfic. It may not seem like it now but the idea is to make it somewhat of a comedy. But there will be plenty of romance, drama and supernatural elements as well. And yes, Kanda is a demon. But in particular, he's a specific type of demon. Cookies to those who can figure it out.

Also, one thing I want to point out is that I'm making up most of the magic and rituals in this fanfic, though I may get some help from my best friend. But yes, that's Latin. I used an online translator. Here's the original:
"Oh fiend of the night
Servant of lust and desire
Appear now to answer my bidding
Grant my wish and serve me!"

Anyways, please review! But no flames! Laters!