This had all started, obviously, because Pete and Dan were complete and utter fucking nerds. Honestly, they should have been put in seperate mental institutions years ago.

It had started off innocetly enough, but then they both started to call Draco Malfoy "daddy" and yelling about Guy Fieri, even going as far as to write a fanfiction where the two of them met Guy Fieri.

These two gays, obviously, shouldn't have been trusted with some horrifying contraption (it looked like a pussy, Pete and Dan were only so mature) that would send them from any book, movie, tv show, or (unfortunately) anime.

"Bitch, why the fuck would we even make this?" Dan questioned, standing alongside Pete, in front of the lewd contraption.

"Because I wanted to beat the shit out of Stephanie and you wanted to cry over Harry Potter, remember?"

"Oh, yeah." Dan said, in awe of the machine (how they managed to build a seven foot high vagina shaped box was beyond them.) "Did we have to make it in the shape of a vagina, though?"

"Well, I couldn't figure out how to make it bong shaped, so this was Plan B."

"Georgia O'Keefe would have been proud."

"Step inside the pussy, Dan, I'm ready to beat the shit out of a pink haired rotten buffalo wing."

"Why do you want to beat her up? What did LazyTown do to you?"

"If they aren't an anime character and they have naturally pink hair, they need to die."

"Fair enough."

It worked, surprisingly, considering it had been handcrafted by two teenagers who had only used semi illegal materials,- this stuff took a lot of energy, and Dan, the movie fanatic, had suggested plutonium, so they got plutonium, and they didn't want to talk about where it came from- stuff from the Wal-Mart craft center, and out of Dan's shed.

They stepped out of the machine (Peter had dubbed it "watermelon pussy" and Dan refues to use it) and saw the familiar catoony style set, along with the puppets, Sportacus, and, to Peter's rage, Stephanie.

To Dan, it happened in slow motion, Pete launched his tiny, gay, angry ass into the air, landing hard on Stephanie, all the while screaming in spanish and tearing clumps of her fourescant pink hair out of her head.

Dan, having grown used to Pete's temper, simply stood and recorded it for World Star.

At this point, Stephanie's friends-the puppets, Sportacus had slowly backed away- tried to remove Pete from Stephanie, who was screaming and sobbing for mercy, but Pete was having none of their shit, and kicked them out of the way.

"Did you come out of a-" Sportacus began, turning to Dan, who was putting the fight on him snapchat story.

"Vagina. I know, trust me."

"Ah." Sportacus sighed, his shoulder's slumping.

"Can I ask you something?"

"Sure."

"Why don't you just use a phone instead ofa letter to reach Stephanie?"

"Beacause-" Sportacus never got to finish his sentance, as he was interuppted by Pete, who had fled the fight, leaving a bleeding, sobbing, badly bruised, and nearly bald Stephanie behind, with only two puppets chasing after him.

"Get the fuck inside the watermellon pussy, Dan!" Pete screamed, dragging Dan by the arm, running away from an army of murderous puppets.

"Bye!" Dan waved, and Sportacus gave him an awkward smile.

After a few seconds, the machine was gone, leaving angry puppets, a confued man in a track suit, and a woman, who had had all of her hair pulled out, except for a small tuft of pink hair on the middle of her head.

"Bitch looks like a fuckin'Wal-Mart troll doll, dude." Pete said, breaking the silence.

Dan and Pete turned to each other and burst into laughter, both at the absurtity of the situation and the fact that Pete still had a tiny puppet arm attached to his jacket.