"You will be back soon, right?" Sugawara's voice was low and tearful when he leaned towards Daichi and wrapped his arms around him.
"Yea, in three days", Daichi promised. "I just have to visit her, Suga, I'm sorry that you can't come with me."
"Of course I can't, I have school", Suga sighed, not letting go of his loved one. "You have the reason to skip classes, but I don't. Just… be safe, okay?"
"I will", Daichi hummed, running his fingers through Suga's grey hair. "You stay safe too." He would be away for only three days anyway. It was kind of funny how attached they were to each other, but even that three days felt like forever. However, Daichi's sister who lived in another side of the country had gotten in an accident and was in the hospital. Her state wasn't critical, but Daichi wanted to go visit her just in case.
"I have to go", Daichi finally said and kissed his boyfriend's forehead. "See you soon. I love you."
"I love you too", Suga mumbled and let his hands fall to his sides. "Good luck."
Daichi turned around and headed to the train. After he got on and to his own seat, he looked out of the window and saw Sugawara still standing in the station. Their eyes met and both waved goodbyes with smiles on their faces. Three days. That wouldn't be long.

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

"You seem uncheerful, brother." Daichi blinked and turned his face to meet his sister's eyes with confuse.
"What? No, nothing's wrong, Amy. I just got too deep in my thoughts", he said, scratching his head. "I'm glad that you are okay. You will be released tomorrow, right?"
"Yep", his sister nodded and was quiet for a moment. "It's Sugawara-kun, right?"
Daichi felt his cheeks burning, but he nodded. "You can read me like an open book", he sighed. "I know it sounds childish, but we have been always together. I miss him."
"Of course you miss him", Amy chuckled. "No need to be embarrassed about it. I'm just a boring sister, after all."
"That's not it!" Daichi hurried to say, but fell silent when he saw an amused grin on his sister's face.
"I'm just teasing", she laughed and poked her brother's nose with her finger. "I know how much Sugawara-kun means to you. I'm not hurt at all if you think of him instead of me, that's just natural. I should be honored that you came here to see me. But Daichi, you should really go back already. I'm fine, as you can see."
"Nah, I have the tickets for tomorrow already", Daichi said and shrugged. "And we have a lot to chat. I won't be going anywhere."
"If you say so", Amy nodded and reached for a remote control. "You don't mind if I put the TV on? I need to watch the news." Daichi nodded, and after picking the right channel Amy put the remote down and turned to face his brother.
"So", she started with an all-knowing grin on her face. "Tell me about Sugawara-kun."
"You know who he is already", Daichi insisted with face burning red. "We don't need to talk about him."
"Nooo, I want to know", Amy whined. "I know who he is, yes, but I don't know about you two. What kind of partner is he? I remember him as a sweet person, but is he really like that? Or are you the bottom?"
"You are being intrusive", Daichi mumbled, covering his eyes with his hand. "As if I'd tell you about our personal life."
"It's sisters' job to intrude, right?" Amy chuckled. "Fine, just tell me what your life with him is like."
"It's just as the other relationships, you know?" Daichi sighed. "But if you really want to know, Suga isn't as innocent as he seems to be. He basically bosses me around as he wishes. But he wouldn't use that opportunity wrong, he's too sweet and caring for that. But it was like that before we started dating, too. I guess being his boyfriend isn't that much different than being just friends. Although you would never kiss or fuck your friend."
"Now we are talking", Amy giggled. "But seriously, I'm glad you've met someone like that."
"Me too", Daichi huffed. "I don't even know what my life would be without him."
They talked about Sugawara for a while, then changing the subject to Daichi's studies.
"You are in a pretty big university, aren't you?" Amy asked and tilted her head a bit. "I think I have heard of it, but right now I just can't remember what it looks like…"
"Wait, I'll google a picture for you", Daichi said and took his phone from his pocket. They were quiet while Daichi searched for a picture, and Amy concentrated on TV.
"Horrible", she suddenly whispered. "A school shooting once again. What is wrong with people?" Daichi gazed the TV screen, and he could feel how his blood froze in his veins when he saw the familiar university on the screen.
"Two men have opened fire in Nagasaki university. Police is there to help, but the students are being kept hostage. National Japan TV is keeping up with the situation, but right now there is no information about the injured or dead." Reporter's voice was monotonic but the worry could have been heard through the calm shell. For Daichi, that shell was nearly broken apart.
"That's my school", he uttered a sound, nearly as quiet as a whisper. "That's…" His sister's face was horrified, and suddenly Daichi felt like he couldn't breathe. Then the buzz of his phone made him flinch, and he saw Sugawara's name on the screen.
"Suga!" Daichi gasped when he answered the call. "I saw the news. Are you okay? What the hell is happening there?"
"Daichi", Sugawara breathed out, nearly sobbing. "Oh my god, you answered. They shot Dan. And Lily. They'll kill us all."
"Breathe, Suga", Daichi recommended. "You'll be fine. Where are you? Call someone who can help, I-"
"No one can help", Sugawara cut his sentence short with a hysteric sob. "We'll die, Daichi. We'll die. We are in a classroom, me and Ray and Arya. They'll find us soon, they'll kill us just like they did to Dan. We'll die."
"Just stay quiet and hide", Daichi breathed out, trying to keep his voice calm. "Don't talk to me. They'll hear you."
"They'll find us anyway", Sugawara cried, nearly losing his remaining calm. "There's no windows here, and in the hallway they'd find us even sooner. We can just wait. I'm sorry, Daichi."
"Suga, please, stay quiet", Daichi begged, staring at the TV screen eyes wide open. "The police are there. They'll get you out safely. Don't give up, please."
"The steps are coming this way", Sugawara whispered. "I'm so sorry. I'm glad that at least you are safe."
"Stop", Daichi murmured, nearly sobbing. He felt awful, just listening to his boyfriend's fear unable to do anything. "Please hide."
"I love you, you know that?" Sugawara's voice was the breaking point, and Daichi covered his face with his hand when tears started to stream down his face.
"I love you too", he whispered between sobs. "Please don't give up yet. You'll be fine."
"No" Sugawara sniffed. "I'll die, Daichi. They are almost here. I'm sorry. Please tell my family that I love them. I would have wanted to see you, but I'm so glad you don't have to face this. You are safe, and that's why I am still at least a bit sane. I'm scared, Daichi. I'm so scared." Daichi was unable to answer, his stomach was turning and he couldn't breathe. He heard Sugawara's quick and difficult breathing from the other end of the line. There wasn't anything for him to say to calm him down, nothing when the death was so near him.
"Daichi?"
"Ya?"
"They are at the door", Sugawara's voice was even quieter than a whisper, just a small sound from the other end of the line. "They'll soon break through it. I… I'm so glad I met you. I love you so much." His voice disappeared under the sound of wood breaking apart. Daichi could hear a small "they are here", and then all he could heard was an unbearable noise. Gunfire. Screams. Someone begging for help. Then the call was shut down, and silence felt like it was squeezing Daichi's insides and tearing his mind apart. He couldn't move, he didn't lower his hand to put his phone down. He just sat there, tears dropping from his jaw to his jeans, completely unable to speak.
"Daichi…" Amy whispered. "What… Is he…?"
"I don't know", he breathed out and let his hand fall to his side. "I… he…" The sound of gunfire was echoing in his head and he felt like he was going to throw up. "I have to go back, he…" Daichi let his phone drop to the floor and he buried his face to his hands. Was there any hope that Sugawara would survive that? Was there any hope that they would meet again? Amy grabbed his hands and looked him right in the eyes.
"I'm so sorry. But you know you going there wouldn't change anything", she said carefully. "It's so late that all the train tickets are probably sold out, and I won't let you drive by yourself when you are like this. You'll go tomorrow. We can keep the TV on, you'll see if there's anything about Sugawara-kun."
"Do you think there's a possibility that he's still alive?" Daichi whispered, voice hoarse and quiet. "Will I see him again?"
Amy observed his eyes, and it hurt her to see his brother like this. He seemed so helpless and hurt, left alone. "I think there is always hope", she sighed and took her brother to her embrace. "I'm so, so sorry that you have to go through this." Daichi didn't answer, the words just didn't come out of his mouth. He didn't know what he was supposed to do. He wanted to keep believing, wanted to think that Sugawara was still alive. However, he felt the remaining hope break into small pieces along with his heart when he thought about the phone call's end. He was sure that the one begging for help in the end was Suga. He was sure that it was his boyfriend's voice that was cut off too soon and quickly.
"Why?" he uttered a sound. "Why my school? Why Suga?"
"No one knows, dear", Amy whispered and hold his brother against her shoulder. "No one knows."

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

When Daichi opened his eyes, he didn't know at first where he was. Bright light hurt his eyes and he could feel the smell of different medicines floating around him. Then he remembered. He was still at the hospital with Amy, and the TV was still on. Amy's hand was stroking his hair softly, and stopped when she noticed he was awake.
"Look", she said shortly. "It's in the news again." Daichi straightened his back and raised his head to look at the TV screen. The same reporter as yesterday was there again.
"The two men who attacked Nagasaki university yesterday have now been identified. They were old students of the university, but the police refuse to tell more information until further investigation is made. Seven out of eleven victims have been recognized. Six of them were students, one was a teacher." Seven pictures appeared on the screen next to the reporter. Daichi went the pictures through with his eyes, feeling like his lungs were being crushed. All the photos were familiar to him. The teacher was from his physics class. There were Jessie, Ray, Dan, Lily… What made him freeze was the sixth photo. There was no mistaking of the grey, fluffy hair and cheerful smile. Daichi would give anything to see those twinkling eyes again, but now the truth really hit him. It really was Sugawara, happy as ever, smiling like nothing could hurt him. It was his photo in the middle of the other victims'.
"Oh my god." He barely could hear Amy's voice, it felt like it was coming from afar. "It's him, isn't it?"
Daichi couldn't answer, he just stared at the screen eyes wide open. The world was spinning in his mind, and he couldn't get any oxygen even when he tried to breathe. It was like drowning. Drowning in the pond of unknown, slowly getting strangled by the aching feeling in his throat. He would never see Sugawara again. He was gone.
"No", he whispered. "He's gone. Gone." Daichi felt unreal and didn't want to believe this situation. "He's dead, Amy. He's dead. He's…" Daichi's voice cracked and he fell silent, leaning his chin on his hands. He didn't cry. The tears just didn't come. "I will never see him again."
"I'm so sorry", Amy murmured and hugged her brother. "Mom and Dad are coming to visit us soon. Do you want me to tell them to come some other time? They must be worried about you, but I'm not sure if-"
"No, don't", Daichi adjusted and leaned on his sister's shoulder. "They can come here to see you. I just…" He couldn't find any words to express his emotions right now. He felt numb and wanted someone to wake him up from this nightmare. "I think I should go out for a moment."
"Just don't do anything hasty", Amy pleaded. "It will be okay soon, I promise." Daichi nodded shortly and stood up, wandering out of the room. He might have bumped into some furniture and people in the hallway on his way to the entrance, but he didn't recognize that at all. He had to concentrate on breathing, because his head was spinning of lack of oxygen. Wide, bright hallway was suddenly dark and small, and the way to the door felt like it lasted forever. Daichi floundered at the threshold and had to lean on the wall to keep his balance. He leaned his back on the wall and let himself fall to the floor, unable to stand up again. The entrance probably wasn't the best place to sit down. but Daichi couldn't find strength to move any further. He tried to catch his breath and stop the spinning in his head, but it was like he had forgot how to breathe properly. The sound of gunfire didn't leave his mind, but the truth still felt like a nightmare. The most horrible nightmare possible. Sugawara was gone forever. How was it going to 'be okay soon'? Those three days they were supposed to be apart had turned into an eternity.
"Daichi?" a familiar voice made him flinch and raise his head a bit. The worried-looking woman was hurrying to him, and despite the complicated state of his mind Daichi recognized her immediately.
"Mom?" he sounded, voice unnaturally high-pitched for him. His mother fell on her knees and hugged her son tight.
"Oh my god, you are alright", she cried. "I was so shocked. Thank god you were here instead of school."
"You were really lucky", his father who had ran from the parking lot to hug his son huffed. "We are so relieved that you are okay." Their words broke the barrier inside Daichi. He could feel how the tears started to make their way to his eyes, and his shoulders started shaking when the truth finally hit him for real.
"I'm not lucky", he breathed out and broke into tears, starting to cry and tremble uncontrollably. "I'm not lucky at all!"

-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-.-

The cold autumn wind sent shivers down Daichi's spine, and he looked to the sky. Leaves were falling slowly to the ground and everything seemed so calm. The dark-haired boy sighed deeply, voice full of sorrow, and kneeled down to put the flowers to the grave. "I wonder why it had to end like this", he whispered with a hoarse voice. "What would have happened if I were there with you? Would we have made it out alive? Or would we both have died? At least you would have had someone by your side." His throat felt tight and he had to stop speaking for a moment to collect himself. "At least you wouldn't had had to face your end alone. I'm sorry I wasn't there for you." It had been two weeks, but talking like this was still hard for Daichi. The tears were tingling in his eyes, and he let out a short, miserable laughter that sounded almost like a sob. "I guess the fate didn't have good plans for us at all, right? I love and miss you so much it hurts. But there's nothing I can do anymore. I just have to wait until we see each other again in another lives. Because if two people really love each other, they will reunite even in next lives, right, Sugawara?" A small smile appeared on his lips, and he stood up, watching the stone-cold grave with loving, yet sorrowful eyes. "Until next time, then."