Disclaimer: I do not own Tales of Symphonia.
Summary: "Why?" She frowned at him and quirked an eyebrow, indicating that she did not know what he was referring to. That was her question, though she no longer needed to ask it. Time had brought her her answers, as unwillingly as she had taken them. SxK, one-shot.
Warnings: Spoilers.
Dedication: Kitten Kisses, for working with me to wrestle with the summary until it fit and fighting all the extra plot bunnies that kept invading.
Dissension
She stood facing the river, her head tilted slightly as she squinted into the fading light. Crisp autumn leaves were scattered across the small island, and an occasional gust of wind would raise them in the air a few feet to twirl and dance about in frivolity before returning earthbound, but her thoughts did not drift so far as the scenery around here, only the bend in the river where a boat might appear by.
He was coming again, like he'd promised that day. She somehow knew he'd keep his word, though she wasn't sure how she felt about it. She did not feel apprehension, nor the tinglings of anticipation when one is about to see an old acquaintance that one has not seen for a very long time. She did feel tense, but it was only for the battle to come. Last time…she had lost, and he had said they would fight again. And now they would fight again.
This time she was not focused on winning or losing. Too many years had passed and she was beyond caring now. She would view him with near indifference, whether he still hated her or not. Gradually her memory had overridden his essence, whether by her own will, or her mind's.
He did not come by boat as she had once done, but simply sprang across the large gap of water. In the twilight they stood facing each other for a long time without speaking, until a flash of pain passed over his eyes and he uttered one word to break the stillness.
"Why?"
She frowned at him and quirked an eyebrow, indicating that she did not know what he was referring to. That was her question, though she no longer needed to ask it. Time had brought her her answers, as unwillingly as she had taken them. His eyes narrowed and he glared at her, not elaborating. Instead, he unsheathed his knife and lurched forward, beginning the battle – the reason why they were there at all. She should have known that he wouldn't be one to talk, but somehow…she had forgotten that. She had, for the most part, forgotten him.
Moving her arms up in an x-block, she caught his arm as it cut down through the air for the strike, and then flipped him over, knocking his weapon aside. He sprang back midway towards the ground and flung out a sharp spinning kick, slamming into her ribs with the force that would have broken the bones of a normal person. But she, like him, had trained. And so she would prevail for the moment.
Punch once. Twice. Reverse, then backfist. Something tore across her face and she felt blood running down her cheek. He had unsheathed his second knife. It was time for her to take out her cards, if she could stop her hands from trembling so much and concentrate on a spell. She was…trembling…She could not comprehend it. Her soul had been torn and trodden so much the pain had dulled and faded, and yet now her body was physically upset, even though her mind had closed it.
She paused, but for a moment, but it was enough for him to tackle her, pushing her to the ground. She managed to jerk her head upwards so that it didn't impact as hard as the rest of her body, but her back still got quite a shock. He did not look angry anymore, just frustrated now, which confused her. His forehead scrunched up in pain.
"Why do you hate me?" he demanded, his grip on her shoulders tight and agonizing. They began to tingle as they went numb. She kept her face emotionless as she met his gaze. She did not know why he asked such a thing of her, what she felt for him was indifference. Indifference was not hate. There was no anger in her heart for him. There was nothing in her heart for him.
"Aren't you the one that is supposed to be hating me, assassin?" she spat, her voice sharp, and colder than she had intended. Though, she did not feel sorry for it. His laugh came out as a short bark, and there was no mirth in it.
"We are both killers, you fool, and we are both trying to kill each other. You know, perhaps, of my hate. Now I wish to know yours," he shook her violently, but she gave him no reaction. Looking down, she noticed that her fists were clenched, but she couldn't remember when she had clenched them.
"I don't know what you're talking about," she replied, meeting his gaze head on. "I'm not trying to kill you. We simply have a fight to finish, and I will have it finished." He had a desperate, wild look to him that she hadn't seen before. It was not the composed man she knew – the confidence was gone for sure.
"You lie!" he cried and moved his hand to slap her. She caught it deftly and jerked it backwards, fighting for freedom for the first time since their little conversation had begun. Sweat from exertion trickled down her face, along with tears that she did not know she had been crying.
"Even before you betrayed our tribe and went off with your so called friends, you hated me. Even before Volt! You always shunned me. Oh, don't even begin with your protests. Don't tell me that chief Igaguri didn't favor you! Don't tell me that my own kin wouldn't prefer to spend his time with you more than I! Don't tell me that you didn't always prefer the Chosen's company to mine!" he roared, and then she understood.
She tucked up her body as best she could and rammed upwards, heat butting him in the collarbone. He made a surprised noise and tumbled backwards, allowing her a chance to break free. She leapt to her feet into fighting stance, her eyebrows unconsciously drawn together.
"So that's it, is it?" she yelled back at him, her vision swimming. "That's what your issue is?" And suddenly, she realized that she had stopped caring for so long that she had forgotten what emotion felt like, but that she was feeling it without realizing it. A fury she had never known was washing over her.
"All this time you were jealous? Damn you, I never felt anything for him! I always…" she suddenly cut off and then cried out in anguish, kicking at slashing blindly, her body shaking with her helpless sobs.
He lay in the mud immobile and let her attack him without resistance. She did not seem to notice that he wasn't fighting back or that it was long dark by now; so long had her weary heart lay dormant, so long had the questions in her heart plagued her. Finally, when her body ached with protest and she could fight no more, she brought her fist up one final time to punch, and he caught it and twisted, bringing her crashing down beside him.
"You always what, Sheena?" he asked sharply. She turned her gaze away, trying to hide from that penetrating stare that could always see right through her when they were younger. She had gotten so used to hiding her heart from the world that she couldn't bear for even him to see it now. He reached out one hand and moved her chin so that she was forced to look back at him.
She opened her mouth stumbling over words, "I always nothing! I…I always h…h…hated you for not being there! When I played with the other kids, you wouldn't play too! You'd only play with me when we were alone, but I couldn't go by with just one friend! I needed different people to talk to about different things! Different people to play different games with! Do you not understand?"
He scowled and punched the earth, making her jump slightly, "No, I don't! Wasn't I good enough for you?" She looked at him pleadingly, but he met her eyes with a harsh gaze. She trembled and tried to inch out of his hold on her, but he held firm.
"It's not that," she whispered, so softly that she wondered if she had actually said it, or merely thought it. He had heard though, with his sharp ninja hearing that she found useful and now found a bane of existence.
"Then what is it?" he demanded. She opened and closed her mouth, but her voice wouldn't work properly.
"I was in love with you," she replied, and stopped struggling; all her strength gone. Her eyes fluttered closed and she sighed, letting everything go. If he would kill her now, she would not fight her own dying.
His eyes widened and he rolled onto his side to catch her up in his arms and hold her tightly to him. She was dimly aware of her head against his chest, and even less that he was hugging her close to him, but she was aware of his voice in the clear night air.
"Since when? You hated me," he remarked coldly.
She sighed again, her voice a bare murmur, "Kuchi...Kuchin…Kuchinawa…I never hated you…I thought you hated me…"
He shook his head; "I hated you for not loving me." She laughed weakly, making him start in surprised.
"I've always loved you. Loved you so badly that it has destroyed me. Loved you so much that I tried to numb my self to emotion, but only ended up killing me. I love you so much that I am dying inside for it," she babbled, her words tumbling out faster than she could make sense of, but he understood.
He kissed her.
"I loved you far worse than that," he said quietly, looking at her shocked expression. "I loved you so much I tried to kill you."
She broke into hysterical laughter and tears.
"Who is to say that you didn't succeed?" she replied, burying her face in his shoulder. He looked pained.
"Your soul isn't dead, it's only hurt very badly. Let me heal you. Let us heal each other. So much had transpired over the years. Isn't it time that we let go?" he asked her, moving her face to look at him again. She shook her head slightly.
"I can't just let go of all my pain. I can't just pretend that things are back the way they were, because they aren't, and never will be. I need time. Time alone, perhaps," she mused, and he looked saddened.
"Part of me wants to stay forever in your arms," she added suddenly. "Part of me wants to pretend that nothing happened. But that isn't fair to either of us. It will take time to erode my other feelings. I cannot simply love you now. But know that I do not hate you. I could never hate you…never…never…"
He reached out to brush away her tears and smiled wanly, "I should have known you'd say that." He stood up, still holding her against him.
"Is there a chance that…we can ever be together?" he asked her, and she studied his face for a long time.
"Someday we will meet again when our hearts are no longer sickened by our pains. On that day, perhaps," she responded, looking up at him with the beginnings of a smile on her face. His eyes softened and he slowly returned her smile.
"I will be waiting for that day," he said, his tone returning towards normal. Both could feel strength returning to their limbs, and knew it was time to part. For now, at least.
"So will I," she replied, one last tear trailing down her cheek before she stood up on her toes and kissed him one last time before turning and leaping into the mist.
She hated the summers in Meltokio. The city was crowded and hot and it stunk horribly. Though she had promised to stop by the research lab to visit Kate, she was having severe doubts about whether it was worth it, especially spending hours in the marketplace choosing suitable foods for the reunion dinner tonight at the Chosen's mansion. He loved being a "hero" so much that it was annoying, but they could forgive him at least for that.
As she trudged up the second flight of stairs with her laden baskets, she had the sudden feeling that she was being watched. Turning, she looked behind her, down to the foot of the steps where he was standing. He looked up at her with such a stern expression that she laughed and waved at him. He looked surprised and smiled tentatively, which overjoyed her so much that she accidentally dropped one of her baskets, sending vegetables all over the stairway. He looked alarmed, which made her laugh harder as she stooped down and began to pick up the bruised produce.
He rolled his eyes and sprinted over to help her collect the rolls of lettuce and carrots and onions and tomatoes, beginning to laugh slightly with her in spite of himself. She grinned at him when they had collected all the lost foods and gestured towards the direction she was going in, inviting. He shook his head and she frowned. His eyes twinkled and he leaned over to place a kiss on her cheek. Neither spoke.
Finally she shrugged and offered one of the baskets to him, which he took, grinning at her. Then, the two almost uncertainly, linked arms and turned to walk back down the stairs. There would be other dinners. Now, she only wanted to spend time with him.
End
I really, honestly, think that Sheena/Zelos is a great pairing. It's much better than Sheena/Lloyd – probably because I'm majorly Lloyd/Presea, but that is another matter. However, I've always wanted to write a Sheena/Kuchinawa fic. These two have a complicated relationship, but I think that as bittersweet as it is, it makes a great pairing. It would be great to hear what readers think…so if you feel like reviewing…please do so!
