Professor Why. [Spoof]

Professor Why, a american late 30s white-trash chubby 2000s dressing TimeLord travels to Vietnam with his companion Bob Ogunleye, a 18 year old boy from New Jersey who's having trouble with his racist teacher, Mr. Mitchum.

-Bob, we need to see what happened to this man in Nam to understand better why he's like that towards you. I mean there's other african-americans in your class, there's even other races to be a jerk about.

-Professor, I don't think he deserves that kind of effort, you know? Motherfucker hates niggas, but I guess he will choose one to hate more than the rest.

- You remember when it all started? When did you start contacting him?

"I said Elvis invented rock 'n roll shit, I said fucking Chuck Berry. He reacted like I was saying "Hail Satan" something like that, i guess.

Professor and Bob travel to Vietnam disguised as Troopers and Professor immediately vanishes. Bob encounter Sgt. Mitchum's platoon, hijinks ensue, Mitchum treats every soldier of color under his command like garbage, using them as disposable pawns throughout the entire thing. Bob comes up with a solution that (under Mitchum's command) saves everyone including Mitchum himself in the process Bob gets shot in the leg. Mitchum admits Bob's plan saved everybody and promises to tell that to his superiors, the platoon bonds in the camp telling stories about going home and girls.

Mitchum says something about how his wife asks him when they have sex, "who's the king of rock?" And all the platoon forcefully laughs. Professor Why appears to fake Colonel to lead the injured to a hellicopter point. Mitchum takes credit for the whole operation.

Teacher Why tell Bob that he has the choice to go immediately or mess around with time travel powers.

Bob goes back to five minutes before Sgt. Mitchum tells his thing about Elvis.

-Hey Bob, you're new right? From New Jersey?

-Yeah, that's right.

-Who was the last girl you fucked? Do not lie.

-It wasn't a girl man, it was a woman, real housewife and all. White.

-Get the hell out of here man, white housewife?

"She was very lonely man, her husband is in this shit too. I had to comfort that brave family.

(All laughter).

Bob makes sure that Mitchum is hearing.

-When i was about to nut ...

-what?

-when i was about to cum, she starts asking "whos the king of rock'n roll baby?" "Who's the king of rock?" "Ooh baby tell me please".

-What? What the fuck?

-I don't know man, I think that white chick wanted me to say "Elvis" or some shit.

(All laughter).

Mitchum looks mortified

-But my brain can't lie when i'm about to cum so i just said ...

All the soldiers of color say out loud

-Chuck Berry.

Bob goes back to school and Mitchum is still racist, Bob learned more about Vietnam history though he already knew plenty of being a good student.

-Professor nothing changed and i think i might caused this racist fuck to hate me even more thanks to Terminator retroactive source timeloop shit. I learned nothing and got shot in the leg. Can i ask why?

-Yes.

-Why?

-Yes?

-We're not doing that, Professor.

-Why?

-Seriously, cut that shit.

Theremin solo on the background.