I know the title's awful, sorry! This is probably a bit darker than my usual stuff, so be warned! I'm sorry Ianto always has such a hard time in my fics! It's set kind of between Cyberwoman and Countrycide. I'll probably write more, even though originally I intended it to be a one-shot, so can still be read as such. Reviews have a similar function to me as chocolate, but are much more guilt-free, no exercise to work off reviews! I don't even mind if they're bad ones! I'm used to it! :P

Disclaimer of course, 'fraid I don't have anything to do with anyone important, it all belongs to the Beeb and RTDs, etc.


'Punish me Jack.' Jack turned suddenly, surprised to hear Ianto. He had a stern look on his face.

'You shouldn't be here Ianto, go home.' Ianto looked cold, his face gave away no hint of emotions, he just stared into Jack's eyes.

'I can't Jack, I need you to punish me. I don't care how.' Jack sighed, and turned away for a moment, turning back with his hands on his hips.

'Ianto, I can't forgive you for what you did, the danger you put my team in, but I'm not going to punish you.' Ianto still didn't move.

'You have to.' Jack was beginning to get angry, he had no patience for Ianto that day, he was still far from recovered from the events of the last few days.

'Ianto, I don't have to answer to anyone, least of all you.'

'They'll think you're weak. Owen hates you for it. For letting me get away with it.'

'Ianto, we both know you're not getting away with it.' Ianto didn't move, but looked at the floor.

'That's not the point sir, you're weak. You can't handle yourself so you daren't try.' Anger shot through Jack, his eyes flashed.

'Ianto, I think you should go, before I start to change my mind.'

'Go on sir, change it. You're too scared of it.' Before Jack knew what he was doing, his fist were balling, and he advanced several paces towards Ianto.

'I don't have to justify myself to ANYONE, Ianto. Least of all you.'

'But you should sir. They put their trust in you, and you didn't protect them. Call yourself a leader.' Jack snapped into movement without thinking of it. His palm slapped against Ianto's cheek with such a force that it snapped with neck round. Ianto didn't flinch though, he just turned his head back round, piercing eyes still focused on Jacks. In a weary voice, which slightly exaggerated his soft wlesh accent, he said

'That it sir? Don't think that quite makes up for what you've done.' Jack's fist retracted, and then he punched Ianto fiercly in the stomach. Ianto doubled over, but still said nothing. It was a moment or two before Jack really realised what he was doing, that Ianto was stood in front of him, taking repeated blows from Jack's own fists. It felt as if he was not really in control of his own body. This wasn't him, this wasn't the way he governed his team or himself, but the shear relief of it; all the worry, the betrayal, the anger of the last few weeks pouring out through his arms, and taking effect on Ianto's body. The bruises on Ianto's skin would be the physical representation of Jack's emotions. In an abstract way, a distant part of Jack thought it was beautiful. He had never bullied, he'd never used beating a human being as relief before, and all the time he was contemplating these facts, Ianto was taking further punches, not making any effort to retaliate, taking ever hit Jack could throw. He let out one groan as Jack his him in the stomach for the third time, and in a sudden moment Jack's eyesight seemed to flood back to him, and he saw Ianto, bloodied and bruised, cowering against the desk Jack had beaten him against. A tear trickled down Ianto's face, and Jack stopped immediately, catching his breath. The horror of what he had just been doing came to him, and he was shocked at himself. Ianto took a long breath, and then crumpled on the floor. Jack leapt to catch him, and lower him to the floor slowly.

'Oh god, Ianto, god, I'm so sorry, I don't know what came over me.' Ianto was just lying on the floor, tears pouring from his eyes, but simply staring at the ceiling.

'Don't be, Jack. I wanted that. I deserved it.' Jack put his hands on Ianto's shoulders and pulled him into a hug.

'No, no you don't Ianto. I can't hate you for loving. Loving deeply and passionately.' Ianto didn't react, just resting against Jack, who desperately held him in his arms.

'Sir, I killed two people. Innocent people, and I nearly killed Gwen. We all nearly died. Just because I was too stupid to realise the bitter truth.' Jack pushed him away a bit, and put a gentle hand on Ianto's neck.

'Don't say that Ianto! You loved her, and if that love blinded you it is just a tribute to how strong your love is.' Ianto broke free of Jack's hands, and leant back against the wall. 'Oh god I've bruised you.' He went to stroke a bruise on Ianto's forehead, but Ianto pushed his hand away.

'Don't.' Ianto seemed to ready himself, and drew a deep breath, and then stood, as if to walk away. He stopped a moment later and rested against the doorway, breathing heavily.

'Ianto, don't go, please!,' Jack said. He ran forward and overtook Ianto, putting hands on his arms again, and trying to meet his gaze. Ianto's head hung, and he turned to the side when Jack looked into his eyes. 'Ianto, you can't do this to yourself. Please, accept that I've forgiven you.'

'No Jack, I can't. I needed that. I won't be disturbing you again. I'm just sorry I had to be so harsh. I don't think you're weak Jack.' He tried to pull away, but Jack tightened his grip.

'No, you're not going!,' Jack said, almost shouting at Ianto. Ianto turned back, and Jack's heart stabbed as Ianto screwed his eyes shut, and the tears flowed more freely, quiet sobs escaping him until hit bit his lip. Jack put his hand on th back of Ianto's head and pulled him into him, resting Ianto's head on his shoulder, and his own chin on Ianto's head, subconsciously taking a long breath of the sweet scent of Ianto's hair. Ianto didn't bother hiding the sobs, and his body shook as he gasped for breath and sobbed into Jack's shirt.

'I just can't do it, Jack. I hate myself.'

'Don't, don't say that. You shouldn't, I don't know what I can say to make you believe that,' Jack said, gathering Ianto tighter in his arms, and putting his cheek to Ianto's.

'I nearly killed you all, I KILLED you Jack.'

'Hey, you weren't to know she would do that, it took courage to not tell us,' Jack said, only realising after they'd left his mouth that his last words were not really that comforting.

'Oh, great, aren't I brave?! I killed innocents, nearly killed a der colleague and, and,' Ianto faultered, as if he couldn't find the right word. Or if he had found the right word, but didn't want to. 'And my boss.'

'Ianto, don't do this to yourself, believe me you are forgiven, they understand. I understand.' He pushed Ianto away again, and twined his fingers with Ianto's. Ianto's sobs stopped for the moment, and he stared at their hands, as if the sight was some sort of anomaly, something that should not be happening. 'Ianto, we care for you, so much. I...I care about you so much. It hurt, I won't lie, it hurt so much when I found, I found out about you and Lisa. But it's gone, I understand, it was stupid of me to assume you didn't have anyone before me,' Jack said, stopping mid-flow as he realised that he'd just been quite open about the fact that he'd fallen head over heals for Ianto. Ianto's eyes moved from their hands to Jack's face.

'I don't have you, sir.' His face was not confused, just shocked, empty, as if he couldn't cope with all the revelations, the constant flow of emotions rushing through his heart.

'Oh Ianto, if only you knew how much you have me. Heart and soul Ianto.' Jack moved closer, and pulled Ianto into him, hands still twined, their forearms against eachother, as he wrapped an arm round Ianto's waist, and pulled him into his body, and leant over, kissing Ianto deeply. To his surprise he met no resistance, and he could not resist sliding his tongue into Ianto's mouth. The warmth, the softness, was too much for him. Ianto took a sharp breath as Jack kissed him, but shut his eyes, and to his own surprise, he fell deeply into the kiss, and he welcomed it when Jack dropped his hand, and put a hand to the back of his head, the other round his neck, and pulled him deeper. Jack again let his emotions overtake him, there was a desperation in the kiss, he needed Ianto, and he needed to make Ianto see how much he cared. The kiss broke off as suddenly as it had started, and they stood staring eachother for a moment, before Ianto turned and ran before Jack could catch his hand.

'Ianto!,' Jack called, running to the top of the staircase, as he watched Ianto run for the door of the hub and leave. Jack ran down the stairs, and over to Tosh's monitors, which showed the CCTV images from outside. Ianto ran over to the railings by the dock, and leant heavily on them, breathing hard. In the cold light of day, Jack saw the full extent of the injuries he had inflicted on Ianto, and tears welled in his eyes. Ianto gasped, and put a hand to his side. The tears overflowed from Jack's eyes, and he put his head in his hands. Ianto stood straight, and looked back to the tourist office. He was frowning, looking sternly towards the office. He then looked to where he knew the security camera was, and then walked off purposefully.