Once upon a time there was a little girl, and her name was Lyra Belacqua. Lyra Belacqua was a little girl with a big destiny: to defy and destroy all authoritah, the dark force giving all little girls (except for her neighbor, we'll get to her later) the terrible disease known only as... Squelched Girl Syndrome. Even at five, Lyra was determined to make her own destiny.
When her mother (an e-e-evil form of authoritah) warned her not to play with the deeminz™ in the busy street during a thunderstorm outside of their palace lawn, Bella - oops, I mean to say - Lyra threw a very heroic temper tantrum, kicked her mother in the shin, and ran out with both fists in the air to play in the busy street during the thunderstorm.
"I don't respect your authoritah!" shrieked our hero as she joined the deeminz™ in the rain-flooded highway.
Oh, what fun she had! She was so glad that she had disobeyed her mother. It wasn't as if her mother had loved her, she only wanted to control Lyra!
Now, Lyra was trying to make rain-angels... no, they were rain-deeminz™ (angels are evil) in a puddle in a pot-hole on the street. As you might have guessed, rain doesn't hold it shape as well as snow, but Lyra was determined! But while she was doing this, two things happened in the course of about a second and a half: first, a great bolt of lightening came down from the heavens and struck the very same puddle in which Lyra was trying to make a rain-deemin™, it gave her quite a shock; and second, she was flattened by a sixteen wheeler going about eighty miles and hour on the street.
Fortunately for Lyra, her neighbor that I mentioned earlier, Lucy Pevensie, called for help. Lyra was taken to the hospital and was re-inflated with an air pump. Her recovery might have gone smoother if she would have listened to the doctors' orders, but all she would say was:
"I don't respect your authoritah!"
The End
