Ohmmmmmmyyyyygoooooodddd. *faints*

*back alive* I realize that, heh, I have virtually been DEAD for the past few months. And I don't really have an excuse. Except that... My computer had a spazz attack for a week and deleted half of my stuff, school started, and I've had too many ideas to write away at.

(No excuse, huh?)

Oh, everyone, my quest for a muse has ended. Say hello to Basia.

(I hate you all.)

She is a little grumpy today.

(Grumpy... That's a bit of an understatement.)

Hush. SO! I finally got a story-ma-thingy written, and am now posting it. Yaay. And for you fans of Falling Angels, I'm SORRY!!! I know, it's been so VERY VERY LONG. But one of the things that comes with finding a muse is too many ideas to handle. An update, whoa the magic word, for Falling Angels should be expected sometime between now and Christmas. Or my death. Or sooner. You never know.

Jeez, I'm rambling. It's been a while since I've done this.

Disclaimer: I don't own it. Parts italicized are from The Lost Colony.

Summary: Artemis almost flinched when the intruder's shadow passed over his face. After a few moments, Artemis peeked open an eye. Recognition was instant.

SURPRISE PAIRING!


**Artemis nodded slowly. A miracle. He lifted his hand. On the palm was a slight graze from his climb over the quayside stile. Artemis concentrated and five blue sparks of magic leaped from his fingertips and zeroed in on the graze, wiping it out like a cloth wiping dirt. He had more magic left than he had pretended.

"Maybe we can arrange a miracle."

Butler was beyond further amazement. "That's a new trick," he said laconically.

"I picked up a little more than an eye in the time tunnel."

"I see," said Butler. "Just don't do it around the twins."

"Don't worry," said Artemis. "I won't." Then his brain computed what Butler had actually said.

"What twins?"

Butler punched in the Fowl Manor phone number, smiling. "Maybe time stood still for you, big brother, but it didn't for the rest of us."

Artemis stumbled to the room's only chair and sank into it.

Big brother? he thought, and then…

Twins! **

~Artemis could not help but to take a moment to contemplate this revelation. A brother. He tried to make the word fit. But it wouldn't. He wasn't a brother. Mastermind, genius, child prodigy, cross-species legend, perhaps. But never brother.

Artemis steepled his fingers and rested them on his lips. He heard Butler's apology to his parents for waking them at this early hour and listened as his bodyguard proceeded to whisper in hushed excited tones. Told them that he was coming to Fowl Manor immediately. Artemis sighed softly. He had hoped to rest. Exhaustion coated his tired limbs and already his newly mismatched eyes were starting to droop as he gazed at the fiery sunrise.

Butler hung up the telephone and crossed the room to sit on the floor in front of Artemis.

"All is well, then? No demon invasion across the continents?"

Artemis smiled tiredly, mud and dust cracking around his lips. "All is well, old friend."

"Anything interesting happen?"

**"Artemis," she said, her voice weak and thin. "Artemis, help me."

Artemis Fowl glanced her way briefly, then returned to his timer, leaving Holly Short to die on the ground. Which she did.**

Artemis was silent for a moment.

"No. It didn't happen."

Butler caught the hidden meaning in the boy's words and decided that when he was ready, Artemis would tell him the details of his three-year absence.

Another moment of silence huddled around the two.

"Twins…" Artemis murmured, a smile playing on his lips. "An interesting development. I shall have to get used to the idea, of course. But a small price to pay. I am…happy…to be back." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back on the chair. "What are their names?"

"Myles Anthony and Becket Caesar."

"How original."

"Yes. They're thirteen months old, next week."

"Intelligent?"

"As only they can be. Little Beckett, though. He's a mischievous devil. I expect it will by Myles you'll like most. He's a lot like you, in many ways. A regular scientist."

"At thirteen months?"

"Oh, yes. Hardly surprising when you consider who his brother is."

Artemis laughed softly. "Brother. I'll have to get used to the title."

Butler smiled, his beard twitching around his lips. "I'm sure you will."

Artemis was quiet for a moment.

"Father…and Mother…Have they…forgotten?"

The songs of birds and the sound of boats starting out on the water drifted across the room in the brief silence. Butler drew himself off the floor and went to Artemis, laying a large hand on the boy's dusty shoulder.

"We can go to see them now, if you'd like. Just a couple hours' drive."

Hesitation swam through Artemis's mind. Was he really ready to try to explain to parents that hadn't seen him for three years what happened?

He sighed. "I must. No matter what happens."


The car ride to Fowl Manor was mostly silent. Artemis slept for perhaps an hour, and when he woke, he didn't feel the need for conversation. Butler was perfectly happy with the silence. Artemis saw out of the corner of his eye that the hairy manservant couldn't seem to stop looking at the boy beside him who had disappeared for three years. Artemis could imagine what Butler had felt when he hadn't come back for so long. Like a bodyguard that had failed at his job. Artemis felt unbearably guilty for the grief he had caused the ones who loved him.

Artemis sat up straighter, his heart pounding in his chest, when the landscape grew increasingly familiar. The vast stretch of green grass, decorated with pines and trimmed shrubs. Although to him it had been mere hours since he had last seen his home, he felt as though it had changed to fit his three-year absence. The air was somehow friendlier. The colors and swell of the hills spelled family.

Will I be a part of this world any longer? Artemis wondered sadly. Then he remembered the pulsing magic in his vein.

If not now, then I soon shall be.

Artemis closed his eyes for a moment, listening to the familiar crunch of wheels on the drive. Felt the vibration of Butler's village car as it rolled toward the manor.

"Artemis," Butler murmured. "We're here."

"I know, old friend."

"Your parents are already outside. With the twins."

Artemis felt the car come to a slow stop. Anticipation bubbled in his stomach.

He sighed, then laughed softly. "I only wish I were dressed in something a bit more suitable." He still hadn't opened his eyes.

"I don't think it will matter."

"You're right, of course." A deep breath.

He opened his eyes.

The first thing he saw was his mother. Beautiful and radiant as he never had to remember. Her hair was pulled back into a simple French braid, letting the morning sun frame her face with an angel's glow. Dressed in a simple skirt and brown sweater, she radiated nothing less than motherly perfection.

But there was something. Hidden in the way her cheeks bumped her eyes as she smiled. Thirty six months of grief. Of worry. Of knowing her son might never come back. He had seen those mourning shadows in her eyes before. On the day his father had gone missing. Guilt stabbed mercilessly at his aching soul.

Artemis let his eyes drift to the man next to his mother, a man that, at first, he couldn't recognize as his father. His dark black hair was unusually long, and instead of combing it up and back behind his ears, Artemis Fowl the First let it hang around his face in glossy locks, giving him a raw, rugged frame of hair around the scars on his cheeks. This, Artemis noted, somehow added to the aura of power his father communicated. But it wasn't the most surprising about his appearance. Hugging his broad shoulders and thin torso was a matte black turtleneck –yes, turtleneck- sweater. And donned on his long legs and concealing the artificial limb underneath were nothing less than…jeans. Designer jeans.

"Most interesting," Artemis murmured. His heart still ached for the steps he would have to take to ensure his parents' grieving's end. Perhaps it was worth it.

No. No, it was definitely worth it.

But there was no sign of the little twins. The siblings that were to become a big part of this new life.

Artemis turned to ask Butler about this when a round, pudgy face suddenly pressed against the driver's window with comical thump and squeak. Dirty blond hair tousled around round, smiling cheeks. Chubby fingers smeared the window as they slid down, trying to reach in. Curious ice blue eyes peeked in. Eyes that nearly reflected the intelligence of his own.

"Unka Buller!!" came the child's muffled, excited greeting. The manservant smiled and tapped the window over the toddler's nose.

Artemis raised a thin eyebrow.

"'Uncle Butler'?"

Butler shrugged, still smiling. Another pudgy face joined the first in the window. This one had darker brown hair, just brushing the lashes of happy blue eyes. Eyes that told tales of mischief and cunning. The child's cheeks were freckled with little brown flecks, quite obviously the result of cappuccino left to close to the floor. Artemis couldn't help but smile also. He could get used this 'brother' thing.

"You ready, Artemis?" Butler had noticed Artemis the First's expression change when no one had exited the old car.

"As only I can be, in this situation." Artemis sighed. "Very well." He opened the door and stepped out into the cool, Irish morning, awaiting his fate.

At first there was only silence. His parents' eyes locked on him, shocked, almost uncomprehending. He saw them stop breathing, and found the atmosphere one of frozen anticipation. He let magic flow up his body until it winked behind his eyeballs, able to make anyone believe any thing. What he had to do, he would with a heart of lead.

His father's mouth started to open, the words he was trying to sound teetering on the tip of his tongue.

"…Ar…Artemis?" His voice a mere whisper.

Artemis smiled softly, feeling the sting of rebellious tears in his eyes.

"Father. Mother. It's me."

The atmosphere immediately changed, like a light switch. Angeline's knees buckled and she gasped as she looked at the dirty face of her long-lost son. Artemis the First quickly caught her with shaking arms and they rushed toward the boy. Artemis felt his heart swell and ran to meet his parents.

As soon as he was close enough, Artemis was caught up in his father's arms, hoisted in the air between his father and mother.

"Oh, Arty! It is you!" His mother's cheeks shone with tears, but the smile on her face couldn't have been bigger.

"Yes. Yes," Artemis said, his voice laced with tremors. "It's me." Before he knew it, he was caught in the middle of a massive hug, pressed against his father's shoulder as his mother peppered kisses on his cheeks and hair. Normally, he would never succumb to this sort of physical show of affection from his parents.

I can make an exception or two, he decided.


Artemis melted into his lush, king sized bed, sighing with exhaustion. His limbs relaxed in an almost euphoric way, inch by inch, bone by bone. His body dissolved slowly, enchantingly, until it became part of the bed. A being of air, a mind of melted butter, Artemis waited for sleep to take him.

But nagging thoughts kept chasing away the slumber. He was home, but at what cost? His heart still held the guilty ache from when he had had to use the mesmer on his father and mother. And even more so when the twins had to be done. He would have spared them, but they were too perceptive. Artemis could see himself easily fitting in as their brother.

As Artemis thought these guilty thoughts, he could hear the door to his room being pushed slowly open and was instantly alert. But he didn't open his eyes, didn't move. He kept his breathing slow and steady, as if he were asleep. His heart beat erratically, but he forced himself to be calm. Perhaps it was one of his parents, coming in again to marvel in the fact that he was back home. He hadn't been able to erase that from their minds yet. Just the inquiries.

Artemis almost flinched when the intruder's shadow passed over his face. After a few moments, Artemis peeked open an eye.

There was a face, but one so beautiful it could not have concealed harmful intentions. Artemis's mind would not have allowed it. Soft, delicate features surrounded dark eyes, radiant brown hair framing a gorgeous face. Recognition was instant.

"Maria?"

The beautiful intruder gasped, and jumped back. Artemis switched on the lamp and illuminated the young woman in the light.

"Master Artemis! You are home!" A Spanish accent glittered her words like sugar sprinkled in batter.

"Yes, Maria, but—" Artemis stopped. He felt something. The familiar rush that always came when he looked at Holly, or Minerva. But strong. Stronger and more overpowering. Puberty, perhaps, but now that the target had aged three years, it hit him with no relent.

Maria continued on without stopping, half of the words simply rushing together in excited Spanish. "I didn't believe them! The twins come to me, saying that they had a new brother! The rumors, Master Artemis! After you had gone. But you! You have not aged! Where were you?!" Then she blushed. "Lo siento, senor. It is not my business. I will go." She turned to leave, eyes toward the floor.

"Maria, wait."

Artemis pulled himself off the pillows, his exhaustion temporarily forgotten in the wake of his attraction toward the Spanish chauffer.

"What are you doing in here?" Well, so he had nothing else to say. He simply didn't want her to leave.

Maria turned back, brown eyes searching the floor, biting her lip sheepishly. Artemis's blood rushed.

"I had to see for myself, senor. If the rumors were true. Forgive me."

Artemis stepped toward her, smiling. "It's quite all right, Maria. Curiosity is a tricky thing to satisfy."

"Curiosity. Yes, senor."

Artemis caught her tone. "Am I wrong?"

Maria appeared to be pulled out of thought. "No, senor. I simply…" She trailed off, an awkward expression pasted on her face.

"What is it, Maria?"

Maria's cheeks burned red. "It would be improper, senor."

Artemis chuckled. "The illusion of proper and improper seems to have altered slightly."

There was a pause, and Maria appeared to be waiting awkwardly for something. Then her expression changed. It was almost one of shame.

"I am happy, Artemis, that you are home." Artemis got chills as her beautiful voice spoke his name. "I have…missed you, senor."

Artemis studied the toe of is sock in a rare moment of surprised embarrassment. "Yes, well, I—"

He wouldn't have found the words to reply, even if he could. Because, with swift movement, Maria caught Artemis's face in warm hands and pressed her lips to his.

Adrenaline was blasted into Artemis's system and his heart sped up, thumping loudly in his ears. His intelligent mind screamed protest, but puberty invariably won out overall. A lovely, heated tingle spread through his limbs, and he allowed himself to be consumed by the sensation.

Unfortunately, it was a short piece of eternity. Forever, for just a second. Maria's soft lips were gone as quickly as they had come.

"Lo siento," she breathed. And Artemis heard the door open, then close as she left him with his first taste of euphoria.

Artemis stood for a few moments, eyes closed listening to his heart beat from allegro to andante. How long he stood, he didn't know. A few minutes, an hour, a day. Time had no meaning. He savored this sensation of separation from body and mind. No control…He found it extremely stimulating.

At long last, he opened his mismatched eyes, inhaled deeply, and sighed.

"A most interesting development," he murmured, smiling.


Surprise, yah? It seems, everyone has forgotten about Maria. Therefore, I could not resist the temptation. And, yes, I realize that she seems a bit Mary-Sue ish. So? I prefer the term "Maria-Sue".

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER.

~~BlackWidowPretty~~