Disclaimer: I own the idea not the concept (Figure that one out)

Disclaimer: I own the idea not the concept (Figure that one out)

Saberus9: Alrighty this is the first of my misc. set of mostly one shot fics of random crap I think up rating may change with time.

NarutoXHarry Potter oneshot

Naruto Uzumaki and The Big Act of Asskickery (Or Why Ninjas kick Wizard ass)

Naruto and Sauske were fighting each other in the Valley Of The End just like they always seem to do when some thing important happens.

Regardless let us skip to the most important part in which Sasuke stalks off to be Orochimaru's bitch or whatever. Naruto is just lying there dying because Kakashi is a lame and slow jackass. So as per usual the Kyuubi being a self serving jackass or a benevolent god archetype or naruto's one true love or whatever you think she/he/it is, has to use a time-travel dimension-crossing merge spell to save our hapless hero. And thus onto the story.

Atop the castle know as Hogwarts, a massive flux of energy appeared dropping a red-eyed Demon-Fox-Ninja hybrid with ten tails know as Uzumaki Naruto or in this case Naruto Uzumaki. He was totally healed and felt great. Well, crap he thought gaily (happily) I must be in another dimension, for sueth tis, and now using my ultra demon powers, I, Uzu….I mean Naruto Uzumaki will instantly learn English. And so he did.

Looking down below from his perch with his super-senses, he noticed a snake-like man and a black haired boy with green-eyes and a lightning-shaped scar on his forehead duking it out with idiotic looking pointy sticks and sparkly flashes of light.

I think I have found Orochi-teme and Manda's secret love child, mused our whiskered demon hero.

He also noticed some other pointy-stick wielders, trying to kill each other with pointy stick light flashes. There were even some flying around on brooms and wird things fighting. He jumped down to see just what the hell was going on.

The moment he landed a cloaked pointy stick guy looked at him and said "Crucio." Naruto doubled over in pain. Naruto did not like this; he did not like this at all. And with that conclusion in mind, he promptly decided that these people should not be allowed to have such a variety of pointy sticks.

He made a familiar hand sign and with a prompt and perfect British accent said "Shadow Clone Technique," to which approximately five million, nine hundred and eighty-two thousand, five hundred and seventy-three (5,982,573) bodies of said variety of clone appeared. They ran out on to the battlefield to gut punch and steal the weapons of everyone also inadvertently killing Dementors with said objects. Gathering the bows, swords, clubs, staves and pointy sticks in a pile, he moved his hand towards the pile and spoke again "Wind Release: Rasenshuriken" in his perfect British accent.

I'm not sure I'm supposed to know how to do that one handed and with such ease, He thought as he happily made his way out of the strange castles grounds and the groaning and vomiting yet bewildered wizards and beings watched him leave in total awe, shock, horny-ness (Hermione, Ginny and Raven of the Teen Titans) and fear (Voldemort, Harry and Malfloy).

Now How do I get home?

And that, Friends is another story for another time.

END

Saberus9: alright…… short? Crack? Boring? Weird? Read and review.