I will be keeping the shippings in this collection in alphabetical order for the sake of organization, so don't let that confuse you when I add new ones.
There's a place that I know. It's not pretty there, and few have
ever gone. If I show it to you now, will it make you run away?
Ryou was huddled on the far side of the bed, the blankets pulled up to his chin. He should have been asleep, but he was wide awake after his nightmare. He'd been remembering the duel between Yami Marik and the Spirit of the Millennium Ring, how carelessly they'd gambled the bodies of their lighter halfs, how cruelly they'd treated each other and everyone else on the blimp. The worst part of it all was when Bakura had been banished to the Shadow Realm and Ryou was sucked into that hellish place with him. He trembled just to think of it.
He wanted to forget Battle City entirely, remove it from his memory. If he couldn't remember the things that upset him, then he wouldn't have nightmares like this, wouldn't break down crying in the middle of the night like this.
"Ryou, are you alright?"
Marik's soft whisper reached his ears despite the sound of his own sobbing. A tanned arm wrapped around his waist, pulling him closer to the center of the bed and to his beloved.
Or will you stay, even if it hurts? Even if I try to push you out, will you return
and remind me who I really am? Please remind me who I really am.
"It's okay, Ryou—"
"No, it's not!" Ryou cried out, pressing his face into the pillow to smother his tears. "It's not okay… I can't forget," he whispered. "I can't forget what happened, what he did. And when I remember, it feels like I'm the one who did those things, even though…"
"You know it wasn't you," Marik finished sadly. The same thing was happening to him, so he knew exactly what Ryou meant. "But even though you know that…"
"It doesn't make you feel any less guilty." Ryou looked up and tearful chocolate eyes met regretful lavender ones. "The lines between him and me are so blurred, I'm still trying to figure out how much of my identity he stole or changed."
"At least your yami was a foreign presence," Marik murmured bitterly, shifting closer to Ryou as he both sought and gave comfort. "I created mine. It was always a part of me." He nuzzled his head against Ryou's, eyelids drooping tiredly. These nightmares needed to stop, for both of them, or neither of them would ever get a full night's sleep ever again.
Everybody's got a dark side. Can you love me? Can you love mine? Nobody's a picture perfect,
but we're worth it, you know that we're worth it. Do you love me, even with my dark side?
"I still don't understand how you can forgive me after I worked with him to control you." Marik touched Ryou's wet cheek tenderly, trying to dry the tears. "I treated you terribly, and it's my fault you went to the Shadow Realm…"
"You banished yourself to the Shadow Realm, too, though," Ryou reminded him gently, a ghost of a smile appearing on his face. "So that makes us even."
"I'm still afraid that he might come back," Marik confessed in a murmur. "My own, I mean. Yours is gone for good, but who's to say that I won't lose my mind all over again? I don't want to hurt anybody, but I can't promise that I won't…" The tremor in his voice was reminiscent of his childhood self, whose fear and pain and anger had created his darkness in the first place.
"I know what you mean." Ryou pressed closer and kissed Marik's cheek. "But I don't think we have anything to worry about that happening. We have no more darkness in ourselves than any other person, now. We can control it so long as we remember that we can." He paused, then added, "We'll have to keep reminding each other of that, because I know I'll still worry about it at times."
"Deal," Marik murmured, lifting a hand so that he and Ryou could link pinkies as a symbol of their promise. Grief and anxiety drained their energy immensely, and now that they both felt somewhat comforted, they were able to allow themselves to sleep.
"I love you."
"I love you too."
A brief, salty kiss before they closed their eyes.
They feared themselves. They feared each other. They feared the darkness and the shadows. But together, their light was strong enough to banish the monsters lurking in the corners of their minds. The more they trusted each other, the stronger that light grew. It was a slow process, but it was saving their souls.
Author Notes: Angstshipping, as requested, and I made it a songfic of "Dark Side" by Kelly Clarkson. Goodness, I love this pairing. ^_^ Please leave a review if you liked it, and feel free to place a request for your favorite Marik shipping!
