A Whole New Idea
Niall's POV
"I….I…I don't know.." I stammered as Zayn asked me the question. "I know you do Niall" he said "you just need to open up to new ideas." Zayn started to move closer to me and I could feel myself getting queasy inside. This was not what I was used to. Back home I was the stud 'class-clown' of the school. I always dated GIRLS, FEMALES! Never boys.
Needless to say this was totally new to me and I didn't know how to handle myself in this foreign situation. Zayn also wasn't making it any easier by being so fucking sexy all the time. I swear, if gods could walk the earth, Zayn would definitely be one of them.
As he closed the seemingly large gap between us, my brain and gut were telling me that this wasn't going to end well in the end and that I should just turn and run. And on the other hand my heart was telling me that Zayn was the love of my life and that I needed to stay and be with him forever.
He has reached me…."Zayn I don't know what I'm…." I wasn't able to finish my sentence because suddenly I had the softest pair of lips in the world magnetized to my own….
Yesterday
Zayn's POV
Harry and Louis are such a cute couple. They just came out to the boys and I a few days ago and they have been inseparable ever since. It's just adorable. When they came out to us they explained how they always knew that they would end up together and they have always loved each other. I put on a smile and presented many 'congratulations' and 'I'm so happy for you-s', but on the inside I was in tears.
I felt the same way they feel, but with another person. This person is the epitome of an angel. This person is my one true love. His name is Niall Horan. Yes, he's a boy. I don't take any wise-ass jokes from anyone so if you're thinking about judging me, I'd think twice if I were you.
He is perfect. When I first saw him, he was eating at the coffee shop while everyone was on a lunch break. (the x factor) It looked like from my perspective that he had ordered everything off of the menu. He had: a croissant, a half a dozen donuts, a few bagels, a turkey sandwich, and some hash browns. It's so funny because he does not look an ounce over 160 lbs. he must have great metabolism.
I have known I was gay since the 7th grade when I saw this boy named Jackson Wright. Oh my goodness this boy was sex on a stick. I was very stupid and naive back then. Those were the days when Zayn Malik talked to everyone and had about 20 'friends'. I had such a huge crush on Jackson and one day I decided to tell him. I didn't think it would bother him or anyone for that matter. I was very, very wrong.
I figured I would do it during lunch time because that is the only time during our school day that we could talk and mingle freely without getting into trouble. He sat about 5 tables away from me, so I had a good walk to wear he resided. Once I got there his mate Tripp looked up to me and said "hey, who are you youngling?" Tripp was an 8th grader. He was one of those 8th graders that thought that just because they were ONE year older than you that they knew everything there is to know about anything.
"Zack right?" his voice was so raspy and beautiful. Now that I think about it, it kind of sounded like Harry. "I'm Jackson. Jackson Wright. But I'm sure that you already knew that." That comment got a few laughs from the surrounding bystanders. "It's actually Zayn, and as a matter of fact I do know who you are and I was wondering if I could talk to you about something."
"Alright, shoot." He said. I could see in his eyes that he was excited to hear what I had to say but he would never admit it. "I kind of was wondering if we could do it in private." I said, fear lingering in my voice. "Look little one, whatever you have to say that is so important that you have to do it while I'm eating you can say in front of my friends." He stated. He got a few yeahs and uh-huhs from his 'friends'. "Fine" I started "I don't really know how to tell you this Jackson, but i….i…i…uh..ummm" "Spit it out boy!" yelled Tripp. "I really like you and I have had the biggest crush on you since the first time I saw you." The words came so quickly out of my mouth that it sounded like I had been rehearsing them all night. (I was)
At first everything was silent and awkward, but not like an ok let's leave now awkward but a c'mon give me an answer awkward. "Are you kidding me Zander?" he said, very calmly actually. "no…" I said, with anticipation clinging on to the small word like duck tape.
The next few moments were the worst I have ever experienced in my life. They all started laughing and it seemed like they were never going to stop. Sooner or later the entire lunch room had giant curiosities growing and everyone was crowding around the table. I wanted to run away but it was impossible given that the area was like a mosh pit. They began screaming things at me like "Faggot faggot!" and "OMG homo alert HOMO ALEEEEERRRRRT!" from somewhere within me I felt like I had immense strength and I burst through the crowd of people and began running. I didn't know where I was going exactly I just kept on running. I never went back to that school ever again.
Once I reached high school I tried experimenting. To make sure that I was actually gay. I am. Vaginas gross me out, a lot. Once I turned 16 my mom told me to try out for the x factor because she thought that my voice was amazing. I'm not gonna lie, it is, so I did. I got through to boot camp but apparently I was not strong enough emotionally or vocally to make it on my own so I was put into One Direction. Along with Liam Payne, Louis Tomlinson, Harry Styles, and Niall Horan.
So here we are. On week 9 of the x factor and I think I am in love with Niall. No, I KNOW that I am in love with Niall. But I don't believe he loves me back….which sucks.
Liam's POV
They call me 'Daddy Direction'. I can always tell when something is up even if no one else can and I can tell that something is bothering Zayn. Louis and Harry and Zayn decide to invade me and Niall's apartment so we can spend the entire day watching all kinds of movies. As we are watching one of the Harry Potter movies (I can never remember which one I'm watching) I notice that Zayn excuses himself and goes outside. To take a smoke I guess. i take advantage of this moment and I sneak off too to go have a talk with Zayn.
"hey" I say as I walk outside into a cloud of smoke that Zayn has already constructed with his tiny cigarette. "hi" he says. There was an awkward silence for a minute before I decided it was time to confront him about what's going on. "alright Zayn, what's wrong? I can tell that something is bothering you. Do you want to talk abou…." Before I even get to finish my thought, Zayn starts to cry. I have never seen any male cry before, especially if they are as 'rough-and-tough' and Zayn fucking Malik.
"I love…him….Liam….and he doesn't….love me back…..and I can't…..take it….its….kiiiillinng….me!" Zayn said between mournful sobs. I was completely confused as to what was going on and then I realized that Zayn had said he. "Who's he?" I asked when I thought Zayn had settled down. It took him a few moments before he gathered his composure and simply said "Niall."
Niall's POV
Harry, Zayn, and Louis decided to come over to me and Liam's flat to watch movies. We were watching Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix when I noticed Zayn say something and then leave the room. In our flat we have a window above our door and when the moonlight shined on Zayn, he looked like he didn't belong on Earth…..he belongs in heaven.
The first time I saw Zayn was when I was at the café on a lunch break from the x factor and I ordered lots of food. He walked in and he was staring at me I guess cause when I looked up at him from my turkey sandwich, he looked startled and looked away very quickly. He looked so lovely that day. He was wearing a casual plain white t-shirt, some black skinny jeans, a letterman jacket, and some high top red Nikes. He looked so hot…
I don't know if I'm gay, I think I might be bisexual. I still find girls attractive, for instance, I would fuck Emma Stone any day. I don't really find men attractive in general…..just Zayn. The was his hair always looks like he spent hours on it, even though I KNOW he only spends about 5 minutes. The way his eyes sparkle no matter if there is light in the room or not. The way his whole body is the perfect shade of tan. And most importantly, just how downright sexy he is. Zayn Malik could get it all and then some.
I am never going to express my feelings to him though because I know for a fact that he doesn't feel the same way about me and I am still unsure about my feelings towards him to be honest.
Liam just excused himself…..he's going after Zayn. What if they're together? Oh shit this ruins all of my hopes…..this sucks. OH! Emma Stone is back on….
Zayn's POV
I couldn't control myself. When Liam started to talk to me about knowing something is wrong with me, I just started crying. "I love…him….Liam….and he doesn't….love me back…..and I can't…..take it….its….kiiiillinng….me!" I said. Liam asked who I was talking about and I decide to tell him. "Niall." I said. He looked at me with confused eyes for a moment or two. I wanted to walk away and be alone, but before I could, Liam pulled me in for a hug. "It'll be ok Zayn. Niall cares a lot about you. I can tell by the way he looks at you. He looks at you the same way that Louis looks at Harry."
His words sounded very comforting. "He does?" I asked. "Yeah. Now that I think about it, I think he loves you too." Liam stated. I could not feel anything or hear anything because my heart was about to explode. Niall loves me! It's not just me fantasizing, its coming from an outside source! This is the best day of my life!
"You should talk to him about it" said Liam "get him to say it ya know?" I thought about it for a second. "Yeah I'll talk to him after dinner tomorrow." I said.
We walked back into the house to find everyone asleep. I didn't know we were out there for that long. Liam and I decided to go to bed as well. I'm gonna have to be well rested for my confession to Niall tomorrow.
Niall's POV
When I heard the front door open to signal that Zayn and Liam were returning, I pretended to be asleep. I opened my eyes a little to see what they were doing. They said a few things to each other and then hugged….. so it's true. Wow…. I am a lot more upset about this then I probably should be. After the hug, they both came into the living room and picked places in the room where they would be sleeping for the night. I closed my eyes. Since Zayn is the only 'man' I have feelings for and he clearly has no interest in me, I am gonna go back to my 'stud' high school days and get myself a girlfriend. A few weeks ago I went to a club with Louis for my birthday and I met a girl. Kelly, I think her name was. I remember getting her number too. I will call her in the morning and make it official. By noon tomorrow, Niall Horan will have a hot new girlfriend.
The Next Morning
I called Kelly as soon as I woke up. "Hello?" she said as she answered the phone. "uh hi Kelly, it's Niall. Ya know, Niall Horan. I was wondering if you would want to go to Starbucks with me to get a cup of coffee." It didn't take very long for her to respond. "oh hey Niall! I would love to go out for coffee with you. When do you want to go?" "meet me there in 10 minutes." I suggested. "Okay see ya then." Kelly said. I hung up the phone.
I left a note for the boys because I noticed that no one was awake yet and I didn't want to bother any of them. My note read: "Hey lads. Going to Starbucks with that girl Kelly from my birthday party at Scandals a few weeks ago. See ya later. I will be home for lunch Liam ;)" And I was off
Zayn's POV
I was dreaming about Niall all night long. I could not get him out of my head. The way Liam opened my eyes like that just makes me a very happy human being. I could not wait to get up so I could see Niall's beautiful face, but when I woke up, I looked over at the couch where he was sleeping last night and he wasn't there.
I went over to Liam's place on the floor next to Louis and I tapped him a few times to wake him up. "Whaaaaat?" he said, still half asleep. "I can't find Niall. He's gone." I said. Liam went into 'Daddy Direction' mode and sprung right up. "you check over there" he pointed to the bedrooms, "and I'll check in here." After about three minute of searching Liam yelled my name, "ZAYN! Zayn come in here he left a note." As I entered the kitchen Liam read the note aloud: "Hey lads. Going to Starbucks with that girl Kelly from my birthday party at Scandals a few weeks ago. See ya later. I will be home for lunch Liam ;)"
It took me a few seconds to process just exactly what the note had said. "Why is he going out with her? I thought you said he was in love with me?!" I was getting very upset. "He is in love with you Zayn, maybe he is just hanging out with this girl because he wants a female's opinion on how to deal with your 'situation'." I winced as Liam called it that. "Yeah right Liam. He would not go to coffee with a slutty girl that he met at a club to get female advice. If he wanted girl advice he probably just would have called his mum." I started to feel tears welling up in my eyes. I couldn't help but have a little hope that maybe Niall still did love me. I secretly decided that I would carefully watch his actions around me to determine whether he did or not.
Around 11:50pm
I was sitting on the couch on my laptop when I heard laughter coming from outside. Niall and Kelly had just arrived. Why did he have to bring her back with him. When I got up to say hello I noticed that they were holding hands….oh no. "Hi Zayn!" Niall said when he saw me. "You remember Kelly right? From my birthday party?" she smiled at me. I don't like her. "Yeah Nialler I remember. Hello." I tried to sound sincere. "HI!" she sounded like she was screaming at me. Geez.
A few minutes later all 6 of us gathered around the little kitchen table to have the lunch that Harry and Louis had prepared (Harry was really the only one who cooked, but Louis didn't leave his side so it kind of looked like Louis helped).
After lunch, Kelly left. When she was on her way out the door, Niall gave her a little peck on the lips to say goodbye. I crumbled. Suddenly my knees couldn't support my body anymore and I fell to the ground. Niall turned around to see me lying on the floor and ran over to help me up. "What happened?" he asked. "I don't know" I said "must gave tripped on something. Thanks." Again, trying to sound sincere. "No problem." Once he knew that I was safely standing up he quickly walked over to Kelly to give her one last goodbye hug. Once she was gone, I was suddenly happy.
I went to Liam's room because I didn't feel like being around anyone. After a few minutes of reading fans' tweets, I heard a few knocks on my door. I told whoever it was to let themselves in. It was Liam. "Hey mate." He said, concern in his voice. "I'm so sorry Zayn. Are you ok?" the waterworks started to return. "not really Liam. Why would he go out and get a girlfriend when he's in love with me? I know he is because of the way he looked at me when he helped me up from off of the ground. It was pure terror. He just looked like that if anything bad ever happened to me he would never be able to live with himself." It took Liam about 15 seconds to process everything I said. "You got all of that from his eyes?" he sounded somewhat amused. "Yeah. That's why I am so confused." I said. "Maybe he is just trying to figure out his feelings, ya know, make sure he really does love you." What Liam said made sense. Maybe Niall was as confused and lost as I was and he just needed some clarification. "Thanks Liam. You always know how to make me feel better." I gave Liam a little 'bro-hug' before he headed out into the hallway. "Just keep your chin up man. I'm sure it will all work out." and then Liam was gone.
Niall's POV
Zayn was acting really weird with me ever since I brought Kelly home. To be honest I don't even like the girl. She is way too clingy. I hate that. He has barely talked to me all day. I decided that I would go to speak with him to see what the deal was. I saw Liam sitting on the couch watching Toy Story but I didn't see Zayn anywhere. "Hey Liam, where's Zayn?" he looked up at me with hopeful eyes. Why would he do that? "Zayn is in my room. On Twitter I think." I nodded a thanks nod and headed off to Liam's room.
As I reached the door I got nervous. Why was I getting nervous? Before I had time to respond to my thoughts, my hand seemed to magically find itself to the door and knocked twice. I panicked. I could hear him moving around and In a quick motion, I whirled around and fell on the floor. now I could hear him rushing towards the door. He swung it open to find me sprawled out on the hallway carpet. "Oh god Niall are you ok?" he leaned down and helped me off of the floor. "Yeah I'm good I just…uhh….saw a spider…and it freaked me out a bit." Zayn smiled at me. The most beautiful smile in the whole world. Stop it Niall! You have a girlfriend now!
"would you like to come in?" he asked me. "Yeah that'd be great." I responded. Once I was in the room, Zayn took a seat on the bed and I closed the door and just stood there awkwardly before he broke the silence. "So what's up?" he sounded eager to know why I was bothering him. "I wanted to ask you why you have been so weird around me all day." At first he just kind of stared at me. Then he took a deep breath and started talking again. "Nialler, I have something really important that I need to tell you. I need you to promise me that you won't freak out. ok?" I nodded.
"I don't know how to tell you this Niall so I am just gonna come right out and say it…" he paused "I am in love with you Niall Horan. I have been since the first time I saw you…" he took a deep breath after finishing. I suppose the face I made wasn't the one he wanted because once he took a look at me his face fell. "Zayn i….i…" I didn't know what to say. "Just don't be mad at me Niall. That's why I have been acting weird around you. I can't stand to see you with someone that I know you don't care about." He said. "what? I do care about her!" I tried to defend myself. He wasn't buying it. "No you don't. I can tell. You don't look at her the way Harry looks at Louis, or the way you look at me….." he looked at me like he was expecting a dramatic response. Instead I didn't give him a response at all. That only seemed to increase his courage. "Do you love me Niall?"
"I….I…I don't know.." I stammered as Zayn asked me the question. "I know you do Niall" he said "you just need to open up to new ideas." Zayn started to move closer to me and I could feel myself getting queasy inside. This was not what I was used to. Back home I was the stud 'class-clown' of the school. I always dated GIRLS, FEMALES! Never boys.
Needless to say this was totally new to me and I didn't know how to handle myself in this foreign situation. Zayn also wasn't making it any easier by being so fucking sexy all the time. I swear, if gods could walk the earth, Zayn would definitely be one of them.
As he closed the seemingly large gap between us, my brain and gut were telling me that this wasn't going to end well in the end and that I should just turn and run. And on the other hand my heart was telling me that Zayn was the love of my life and that I needed to stay and be with him forever.
He has reached me…."Zayn I don't know what I'm…." I wasn't able to finish my sentence because suddenly I had the softest pair of lips in the world magnetized to my own….
Zayn's POV
I am kissing Niall. I am kissing Niall Horan! And he is kissing me back. This is amazing. I have been waiting so long for this. Suddenly his tongue was touching my bottom lip, telling me he wanted to full on make out with me. Of course I gave him entry and our tongues were basically having a wrestling match. After about 3 minutes of this he pushed away from me. "What about Liam?" he asked me. I was confused. "what about Liam?" I asked him. He tilted his head to the side like a little puppy. "Well aren't you guys together or something? I saw you guys talking and hugging last night." I giggled. "no no no. Liam was just helping me figure out my feelings for you. There is nothing going on between Liam and I. What about Kelly." "oh I already broke up with her…she was too annoying for my taste." He said.
At the sound of this I crashed my lips up against his. He is so beautiful. I never want this moment to end. Afterwards we cuddled up on Liam's bed and started talking, about EVERYTHIG. We told each other about the first moments when we realized that we loved each other and the moments when we thought it would never work out. we talked for so long that when we looked at Liam's alarm clock, it read: 10:34pm. "we should probably go out there before they start worrying about us." Niall said
I seized this moment. Before he could stand up, I stood up and I pushed him down onto the bed. I knelt down on one knee so that we were eye level. "Niall James Horan…" I said "will you do me the incredible honor of being my boyfriend?" I anxiously awaited his response. A little squeal escaped his mouth and he jumped up and said, "YES YES yes yes a thousand times YEEEESSS!" I stood up and kissed him on the lips. This one was different then the other ones. This one had more meaning to it, this one meant something that was so much more than just 'I'm in love with you'. This one meant ' I want to spend every waking moment of my life with you'.
I am seriously the happiest man in the entire world. We decided to tell the boys that night. They all were very happy for us. The only one in room that looked upset was Liam….
"What's wrong Liam?" I asked. "oh nothing it's just…..ya know…Harry and Louis have each other and now you have Niall…I just feel lonely that's all." Niall jumped into the conversation. "hey mate you can have Kelly. I remember you telling me you thought she was cute back at my party." Liam seemed to like that idea and instantly became 10 time more jolly. I looked over at Niall and mouthed a 'thank you'. He simply nodded and leaned in and kissed me. Man I love him so much.
Niall's POV
This is the happiest day of my life. I don't know how it can get any better than this. The rest of my life will now be perfect because now I have Zayn and he's mine.
