She sat watching them give their toasts and blessings, all well-wishers of the happy couple. She sat in the back, it was easier to get out that way, she thought.
She stared at him and sighed as she reminisced on their lust filled romp just days before the rehearsal dinner. Though it had been a drunken slip up for him it was quite real for her, it was something that she had needed, desired, dreamed of for a long time.
She could still feel his fingers entangled in hers, his hot breath on her skin, his sweet lips pressed against hers, how she screamed his name as she peaked.
She had never felt more happy, or guilty, in her life. She had done the unthinkable with her best friend, her engaged best friend, whose fiancée also happened to be a close friend. Remorse started pelted down on her and it stung like acid, even her tears seemed to sting. She felt as if she couldn't breathe, stifled by the deafening praises geared towards the adorable couple.
She left, sobbing so loud that he heard and ran after her in the pouring rain.
"Botan!" he called after her.
She turned around and looked at him with tear filled eyes, camouflaged by the sudden downpour.
"I'm fine, Yusuke. Go back inside to your wife." She shouted in the most cheerful voice she could conjure up.
He walked over and hugged her close to him; she all but melted into him, sobbing hysterically.
"Come on, let's get you warm." He said.
He took her to his apartment which was only two blocks away from the restaurant. He gave her a towel to dry off.
"We need to talk." He said sitting beside her on the couch.
"No, we don't. I need to go." She replied getting up to leave.
He pulled her back down.
"Stop running from me, please." He pleaded.
"Let me go, Yusuke." She whispered, she could feel the tears reforming in her eyes.
"Not until we talk this out." He demanded, holding her firmly on the shoulders. "You can't avoid me forever."
"Yes I can, Yusuke." She replied softly, tears rolling down her cheeks. "And it's for the best. A one night stand does not obligate us to each other.
He stared at her in amazement. He was sure that he was making the right decision with Keiko; she'd been there with him through it all and put up with his bull for years. But with Botan it felt as easy as breathing; she was his confidante, his muse. Her smile always made him feel like he could do anything, the way her eyes glimmered as she spoke to him made him feel like they were the only two persons in the world, when she was hurt he felt like his heart was being ripped through his chest and he'd risk death to save her.
"I wasn't good enough for you." He said, staring into her eyes.
"What?" she asked, incredulously.
"I… wasn't… good enough for you. I'm still not. I always felt something for you, but I was always scared that if I spoke up about it I'd do more harm than good, I'm pretty good at hurting people ya know." He said.
Botan got up immediately and headed towards the door. She opened it and summoned her oar.
"You're getting married tomorrow, you shouldn't be saying things like that." she said as she mounted the oar and flew off.
Emotions were too much for her, she decided to drown herself in work, never having to deal with the Reikai Tantei again. It would just be easier that way, to leave and never look back. She wanted them to be happy together, and she would trade that for her own happiness.
"I could never give him what she can. She deserves him. It's for the best. I could never make him happy like she can." She thought as she entered Koenma's office.
She sniffled as she opened the door.
"You've said your goodbyes, I presume?" he said, stamping his papers, not even looking at her.
"Yes, I have, and I'm ready for my next assignment." She replied, emotionlessly.
