This party sucks. Not in like a bad way, but it's loud and everybody seems to be getting drunk, not something I'm a fan of, because you know. Drunk people make stupid decisions like go out and drive, only to hit a car with a family inside and cause one of those people to lose an arm in an accident. Yes I know that was a petty way of me complaining about losing my limb, but it really makes everything harder. I was gonna escape up to the attic, that seems to be my favorite place nowadays, but with my current disability I couldn't get the rope down that would help me lift up the steps to get to the attic. I would be getting something to help me with that soon, a robotic arm you could probably guess. The doctor said it would probably come on new year's day, and because today is new year's eve (thus the party) I would hopefully be getting it tomorrow. But for right now I'm stuck in the living room on the most crowded couch, and it's not that I absolutely hate Weiss who is currently wasted making of a fool of herself trying to impress ruby, but one I need a breath of fresh air, and two I feel a bit of guilt for not stepping into to stop embarrassing herself further but I really don't have the energy for that. I whisper to Ruby who is currently horrified as she has both a drunk penny and Weiss clinging to her, that I'm gonna make my way to the kitchen, cause I'm getting the munchies after such a cinematic masterpiece.
"Hey YANng!" I look over to see Sun approaching with Neptune, who looks as pale as a ghost. I smile, these dudes are two of my bestest buds, male wise. "I need you to help me convince Nep-lame over here to jump in the pool with me," he grins as he holds Nep's hand "It will be fun c'mon." Neptune obviously is horrified but I want to see this as much as Sun does, so I join in.
"Neptune, I think you should try it. It's New year's eve and you could put this on your list of resolutions." I nudge him with my elbow while searching for the pretzels In the mountain of food. Sun starts jumping up and down like a toddler in excitement while grabbing on to Neptune's arm. "please please please please." I glance up at the clock. 11:30. Half an hour to go then I can leave. "Excuse me fellas I think I'm going to use the bathroom. I don't. I go to try and get up in the attic again because holy crap I love those dudes but they shout a lot and my headache is just worsening. Im reach for the rope yet again, and can feel myself getting closer so I stand on my toes. Just a little further, just a little-THUMP, fuck. I fell. I growl in frustration. I don't know. I just. Ugh I can't get up. I can't get up. I can't get up! Ah I start breathing hard. It's just difficult okay.
"Need help?" I hear a familiar voice ask. I don't want to look up. Fear of embarrassing myself is strong. I don't want Blake to see me like this, on the floor trying to accomplish something that is proving to be a struggle. But I look up any ways, and try to regain my composure. "Hey there babe friend. Just chilling on the ground wanna join me?" She smiles a small smile and it makes me really happy. But then I realise it's a sad smile and then I feel a bit of a hole In my chest.
"Here take my hand." I do feeling a bit like a burden because that is what I'm being. "were you trying to get up here?" She said pointing to the attic.
"uh… yeah."
"Well okay mind if I join you?" She says as she starts pulling the rope.
"Oh no, join me all you like. Um thank you." I walk up first and just walk around waiting for her. The attic isn't very big, it is only about the size of a restaurant's bathroom and the ceiling comes to a angl lowering the walls weirdly and everything is covered in dust. On the wall that isn't angled (cause of architecture) there is this huge window that you can sort of sit in? It's really nice on nice with those cold breezes to just sit up here and feel the wind on your face while viewing the stars. There's also a few boxes to the sides which were just storage stuff. Like boxes of pictures with me in them. With my arm. I clear my throat. Blake finished tying up the rope for the stairs so we don't get stuck up here.
"You come up here often?" She asks taking a seat at the window.
"Only lately. " I join her there. There is probably just enough room for two people there so I feel her arm brush against mine. I'm gay Jesus.
"Ah. So what's been going on with you?" She looks down at her feet and I look up at the sky. I forgot how awkward I last left things, last time I saw her I was in the hospital. She was crying her eyes out then and I knew it was because she felt guilty that her crazy abusive ex Adam was the one who hit us. This was really the first time I got to speak with her since then because everything was so chaotic after the crash. Crap I don't know what to say.
"I don't know I've been in a hospital all week ha!" Crap way to make everything depressing, she's gonna not wanna hang out if all I do is depress her "so… what've you been up to without the beauty that is me for the past week?" ha yes conversation saved?
She crossed her arms over her legs, ohh a bad sign.
"Me and Sun broke up," (what' what why?) "And before you start freaking out that one of us cheated or some other similar reason, no Yang we both just realized that we had feelings for someone else."
"Oh. Ohhh. I have a feeling he is with Neptune?" she nodded. I smiled "Sun is cute with him." I don't think I'll ask who she has feelings for cause it's just gonna hurt.
"Yeah." She smiled back, then looked away awkwardly " um. You can see the pool from here."
"Mhh hmm isn't it nice? With the pool and the stars above it, it's peaceful. A mice escape." I leaned forward to take it all in.
"Yang ha ha be careful you doof ."
"You doof? With someone who reads all those books you would think she would find a better insult." I laugh and so does she. Her laugh is like. I don't know what it's like I'm not a poet , but she leaves me wanting more of it. Her laugh makes me want to stop laughing myself because it's so rare and so quiet I want to be sure I take it all in.
"Hey.. Yang?" I look over to her.
"Yeah."
"How… are you doing?" oh no.
"What do you mean?"
"You know. How is the accident affecting you? I just wanna know because I care."
"Umh." I look down at my feet. Time to be honest. "I'm just worried. This." I gesture to my stump. "Makes it harder. I'm worried that I can't take care of my family as well as I did. You know?" She nods silently waiting for me to go on. "I'm also not sure that when I get the robotic arm.. I want it? It's not actually part of me and i don't know." I start to feel my eyes water so I wipe them. "And I get looks all the time from strangers? I don't know blake. I don't know." I was full on crying now. Like these tears were waiting for no man or woman, I was crying that hard.
"Yang. Yang, look at me ." She places her hands on my cheeks forcing me to look at her. "You are still you. I'm sorry that.. im.. I'm sorry." She took her hands back and looks away losing some of the confidence she was holding. "I'm sorry... You're still beautiful to me okay? Those strangers don't matter!" She was crying now too. "I'll always be here to help and to listen. Yang," Her breath was really shaky and I could feel myself shake too, "I care about you and… I'm sorry."
I don't know why but I start laughing like an idiot. "What are you apologizing for! You didn't do anything!" I shouted. I'm pretty sure those in the pool could hear us but I couldn't care less as I pull her in for a hug. Oh... That's the worse part. I can't hold those I love with all I have anymore. By now we're just a mess of tears together. Then we hear shouting down stairs from everybody .
"THREE!," I let go of Blake and she does the same of me, "TWO!," we smile at each other, "ONE!," then I feel something soft and warm press against my cheek, "HAPPY NEW YEAR!" the warmth is gone promptly and I put my hand to my cheek. What?
'SPLASHH!' We both look down at the pool to see a struggling Neptune and a joyous Sun. Not that he was in any danger no, he just was struggling to get out of the pool and murder a certain laughing blonde boy.
I look at Blake who is smiling at me and this time not sadly.
"Thanks for starting the year with me. "
