Title: I'm not who you think I am!

Summary: Naruto was just your normal every day guy with friends and a loving family...so why did he wake up in a trashed apartment, and why is everyone determined that he's a ninja?

Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, nor do I own Naruto just some of his random thoughts and reactions. : 3

A/N: So I was just thinking about self inserts and fics where the character is a normal everyday person and I thought...why not? The plot bunny had an evil grin on his face when he put the void in reality and fiction for this fic. lol.

Man is harder than iron, stronger than stone and more fragile than a rose. ~Turkish Proverb

Chapter One: I AM UZUMAKI NARUTO!

Naruto yawned, stretching his arms above his head, his eyes squinted closed as he turned his head away from the offending sunlight that had woke him up. When he finally managed to open his eyes he was taken back when he saw an unfamiliar room, squinting at the window he saw an unfamiliar landscape. "What the hell is going on?" he muttered, he stood up walking out of the room immediately walking into a kitchen with a small living room attached to it and a door that most likely led outside.

Although he want to investigate his surroundings further his stomach rumbled in discontent. "Guess i gotta feed you, don't I big guy, no matter what's going on?" he laughed. opening the fridge he pulled out a milk cartoon, but upon seeing the expiration date he through it in the garbage. Opening the cabinets he found ramen, ramen, more ramen and finally some type of chocolate cereal. He looked back and forth between the cereal and the ramen. He chose the ramen.

As he heated up the water, throwing the ramen in after it had started boiling, he sat down at the small table that was only meant for two but could still fit four, although there was only one chair. Did they break the other one? I thought these things only come in sets? Naruto didn't know who they were exactly but he filed everything that could not be explained under They which so far included the weird scenery, the unfamiliar house, the abundance of ramen, and now a table with only one chair.

"Who owns a plotted plant and puts it next to the table?" he muttered, dragging the offending green object into the front room, putting it between the door and the couch. He glared at the couch, offended by the rips and tears that showed its inner stuffing, and the wierd stains which he hoped were from food. "Who lives in a dump like this?" It's wasn't that bad, but the furniture! "The mess!" he whined walking towards the closest intent on cleaning the mess up, he stopped mid stride running towards the boiling pot, taking an oven mitt to lift it off the burner so he could pour out the excess water, he liked more noodles then he liked the broth it sat it, "I almost forgot about the food!" he chuckled, he could he have done that, he loved eating ramen, and soggy noodle tasted just as disgusting as half cooked ones!

"Does this guy have any toast?" he wondered aloud, getting up to check the cupboards. Empty, empty, and in the last one pushed up against the corner was the bread, when he pulled it out he screamed throwing it into the garbage as well, it was moldy and their was a dead spider in it!

"I hate spiders!" he howled, gesturing wildly at the garbage. There was no reason to be overly dramatic, but he could feel his skin crawling, and he couldn't help but express his rage. "and snakes, and slugs deserve salt poured on 'em, AND beetles need to be crushed for flying into my face at night!" He grabbed his newly made bowl of ramen, and walked towards the couch with an angry huff. "Don't think I forgive you for how torn up you are!" he growled at the couch as he took his seat. They didn't have a television so he couldn't grab a remote to flip through channels and see what they normally saw everyday, his plan to stay home and gather Intel was destroyed, after he finished eating he would have to implement plan B.

&!&

Iruka was worried. The day had started out normal enough, but Naruto hadn't shown up for class yet, and he hadn't heard any angry mobs hunting the boy down for his latest prank. He sighed and looked at all the faces in his class, Sakura Haruno was eagerly waving her arm at him, with a large smile on her face. "Sakura, I haven't asked a question yet." he said, frowning at the eager thirteen year old girl.

"I know that, Iruka-Sensei!" she giggled, throwing a look towards Sasuke. Was she going to spout off some extra knowledge to show off for the Uchiha again? He should tell the Hokage to hire her to teach the class, since it seemed that she already knew everything he was teaching her, but then the Hokage would point out that although she had the knowledge she didn't have the experience or practicality to put it to use. "But I just saw Naruto-baka walk by the academy, he's totally skipping, Iruka-sensei!" she yelled pointing out the window.

Iruka walked over to the window and indeed he saw a blob of bright blonde hair walking by at a leisurely pace. He opened the window with a little more effort than necessary. "Naruto!" he yelled. The blonde head swiftly turned in his direction, blue eyes regarded him curiously. "What do you think your doing?" he yelled.

"What?" the blonde boy yelled back.

"I said, What do you think your DOING?" he noticed the blonde wasn't wearing his usual orange jumpsuit, and instead in its place was a pair of black shorts and a white shirt with a red swirl in the center of it. His customary goggles were also missing.

"What does it look like I'm doing?" Naruto yelled back.

"Naruto, you baka! You better get in here and stop skipping class!" Sakura yelled, Iruka looked over at her pink head annoyed that she had opened a window and butted into their conversation.

"Screw you, pinky!" Naruto yelled up at them, then he turned away and continued walking, ignoring Sakura's indignant squawks of outrage.

&!&

Naruto had spent an hour waiting for the shirt and shorts he found to be washed before he stepped out of the apartment and memorized were it was before he set off down the road. After he had eaten breakfast (ramen), he had walked back up to the room he had awoken in and searched the closest for clothes. Sadly, it was filled with orange pants and jackets, each pair exactly alike in design and size. He hadn't minded the color, he hadn't minded the design, but there was no way he was going to wear both at the same time, and besides it was hot, why would he wear a jacket? When he found the clothes hamper in the bathroom he saw another pair of the orange matching set, but under them was a pair of black shorts and a white shirt, he sniffed them lightly and found that although they didn't look dirty, they reeked. He guessed it was because they had been laying under the orange clothes and what ever that scent was it was from them and must have rubbed off. He'd seen it happened when he left his socks in his shoes once and his shoes stank for a week.

Outside he began to notice that where ever he was it was all kinds of messed up, People were jumping across rooftops, buying sharp pointy weapons, and the mountain had four faces in them that reminded him of the American presidents which led him to believe that they were of some importance. He had been walking along minding his own business when someone had shouted his name. A man was leaning out of a window looking relieved to see him and asked him what he was doing. The man had long brown hair pulled back into a ponytail and had a scar running across his nose. That must have hurt. He had responded automatically, and the man repeated his question most likely believing that he hadn't heard him the first time. Then a girl with pink hair had opened another window and called him an idiot and informed him that he was skipping class. He told her off and continued walking.

So far his recon was going great. It seemed some people knew who he was, he was some kid who had the same name and looks as him, the kid went to some school that was a couple blocks back. The kid had a classmate who had pink hair, thought he was an idiot so that probably meant the rest of the class thought so too, and he had a teacher that was worried about him.