After watching last night's episode many times. I felt compelled to write something. w
J J J J J J J J J
Maybe she had misunderstood the meaning of his words. That might've been it. That was the was the false hope she'd been giving herself all night. But in the pit of her stomach, in the back of her brain, in the bottom of her heart, she knew. She knew she was lying to herself.
He was after all brought up so selfishly. Never considering other's feelings. To him feelings didn't even exist. This was a true fact she knew, but was choosing to ignore it. Clinging to the hope there might be some slight chance. But he was, Chuck Bass.
She sat on the edge of her bed, hunched forward. Waiting. For what she was waiting for, she didn't even know. Just something.
Silence killing her, she stood and decided to find something downstairs to entertain herself. Anything would be better than this pointless waiting. Even talking to Dan would be better than this! Heck. Sitting in the room with Dan and Serena would be better than this.
The ding of the elevator caught her attention when she reached the bottom of the stairs. But what, or better yet who, was standing in the elevator, caught her off guard.
There he was. The man she was so effortlessly in love with. The one person who knew her better than she knew herself. The man she chased to the ends of the earth, just to make sure he was okay. The little boy who had lost everything he even remotely cared for, just to gain money and a company.
Several emotions swept through her. At first she wanted to be mad at him. Because of the way he had lashed out at her. Then she wanted to throw her arms around him and kiss him. Then the final of emotion set in, the real one. Heartbreak.
She stood motionlessly in front of the opened doors.
"I'm sorry. I screwed up." He extended a bouquet of flowers toward her.
Her mind registered enough to take the flowers and hold them in her hand.
After which several seconds of heavy silence passed through them.
"Its too late Chuck. I've stood by you through all of this, but I cant watch you self-destruct any longer." The hand holding her flowers fell limp at her side.
Just as the elevator was about to save her by hiding her tears from him, he caught it.
"Jack set me up-"
"There is no one to blame but yourself.
"I believed in you. Your father believed in you. The only one who didn't was you." She witnessed his eyes fall in shame.
"All I wanted to do was be there." She took in a breath. "But when you called me your wife." He bit at his bottom lip. "You made it sound like the ugliest word in the world."
She couldn't lift her eyes to look at him. She would burst out in tears for sure then.
"Blair, please-" He took a step towards her but her free hand shot up to stop him from leaving the elevator.
"I'm sorry," She allowed herself one look at him. She'd thought right. He looked like that same sad little boy she had grown to know these past few weeks. Quickly she tore her eyes away. "But I'm done."
She didn't even need to look to know what emotion crawled over his face now. It was the one look she couldn't bear. Not from him at least.
He took a step back into the elevator, never removing his eyes from her.
The elevator dinged once more. This time though, he wasn't going to stop it. He wouldn't. Even though she wished he would. In her heart of hearts. Fight with her! Argue with her! Isn't that what they did best? That's what made them, Chuck and Blair after all.
Just before their fate was sealed she threw his flowers in with him.
If she couldn't have all of him, she didn't want any at all. Even though he would always haunt her, the fact of what could have been. If only every obstacle hadn't jumped in the way.
Once the doors had shut, she backed up until she bumped into the wall. She slid down and attempted to sort through her mind. But he was the only thing she could think of. The only thing that she could feel.
A question came from the back of her mind. Why hadn't I been enough? All I wanted to do was-. Then it clicked in her mind. The only thing she really wanted to do was love him. Maybe being Blair wasn't good enough.
She sniffled a few times and stood up. She couldn't change the fact he didn't love her. She couldn't change the fact she loved him. But waiting in front a the door he was never going to grace again, wasn't going to help.
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Yeah. That's just my opinion though. Q~Q. I was really just bored and wanted to write something about Chuck and Blair. -RAWR-
