Author's Note: This is kind of a little songfic I wrote for Brooke Fraser's Scarlet a few years back. I was in a relatively bad place, but this writing helping me actualise what I was feeling a bit. The song is beautiful, if you haven't heard it (haha I remember when Brooke Fraser wasn't a known name) I suggest you do! Most of this writing is inspired by those lyrics, twisted until I deemed it appropriate. I just wanted upload something, and I stumbled upon this in my old notes.
Enjoy!
Snow flitted around her, the small timid blonde figure in the dark of the night, out in the freezing cold.
Lost. Frightened. Alone. Dying.
Fists clenched, almost bleeding.
Lightly, cautiously stepping.
Arms folded tightly over her chest, a desperate last attempt to stay warm. Light yellow hair blowing softly in the wind.
Lip harshly bitten, tiny scarlet droplets standing out in the porcelain white snow like white in a black crowd.
No one knows her name, the child walking in the middle of nowhere.
Even if this is all real, she knows she can't stay. Not for long.
Her mind tainted and swollen, hurt from the months of thinking, coming to grips with her sad reality. Without release, without relief. They've taken their toll on her.
Nails digging into the skin on her open shoulders, sad, beautiful blue eyes gently exposing all that is underneath.
Her heart small, precious, shy, rare; she has had no more years on this planet than six.
No God, no God could save her from this, not even her own.
She wanders, barefooted, plodding on through the snow on this lonely night. The rusty bittersweet taste of blood on her tongue, sitting there, like a sentence.
How could an earth so beautiful love anything remotely like her? Feel anything for her?
What will she do now? The chance for acceptance is fleeting. Going, going, gone. Gone for good.
She walks alone, no one left on this earth for her.
In that one moment of timid and fragile honesty, she sits and closes her longing eyes.
She wriggles her toes in the snow; she can't feel them, but knows they are there.
It doesn't take long. It is peaceful, almost. Wanted.
"I'm happy." she whispers into nothingness, to no one in particular.
Oh... Oh, how she waited for this.
A last breath parts her once red and warm but now light purple lips, sealing it all. But now she can finally breathe. Properly, it's easier. So much easier, than living.
Will I never end? Will this pain and sorrow ever fade?
A few small transparent tears drip past her button nose, mixing with the crimson blood on her lip, resting on her pale cheeks.
Eyes shut tightly.
And in that moment, she slips off in the prospect of somewhere better, departing this universe.
She sees His glorious face, and everything else fades into the background, becomes the wallpaper.
He holds her, He loves her, He touches her for the first time.
She is struck full by the truth, His mighty truth.
As she sees a light, she could swear on Him that someone was holding her hand.
But there she goes.
She's gone for good.
"Oh hold my hand Lord, lead the way
Help me be good every day
Tell me what is right and wrong
At night let me sing my song
Sit with me in my last hours
Be with me as I ascend to Your mighty towers
Say you'll never leave my side
Hold my hand, God...
Hold my hand."
They say they found her body the next day. Smile forever etched upon her face, fist open, as if someone were holding her hand.
