Dear Catherine,

I'm sitting here watching you sleep right now. I came in when I dropped Lindsey off after school. I checked her homework, it's done. I told her not to wake you until you have to take her to dance. I'm sorry I can't take her… I'm even sorrier that I'm working and you're not. I'll be thinking about you all night at work. I'm selfish, I want you to myself. I love the way you feel when you've just woken up.

You are so beautiful. Not empty beauty… you're alive and strong and raw and passionate. You blaze.

You look tired. I love you so much, Catherine… when you're sick or sad or tired all I want to do is hold you. I've never felt like that before. Please let me. Know that I have nothing but respect for you, and your strength amazes me. I just want to comfort you because you deserve that.

You've done so much for me. You're the only one I've ever let touch my scars. You make me feel beautiful… and wanted. Like I'm enough. I'm not my past. I'm scared of that, but I trust you. You cried with me that night that I told you. I don't know how to thank you.

I don't know why I wrote this now… I guess it's easier to write some things down then to say them. When I say them out loud, they sound cheesy or insincere to me. And I want you to know that I'm genuine. The words don't seem to say enough, though. I hope that I can make you feel it… what I feel for you. There's no way that I could mean as much to you as you have meant to me. I want to show you because words fail. I'm going to try not to be a coward and actually leave this on your pillow.

I love you and your daughter.

Yours,

Sara