A/N: I started this a while ago (and I've only seen bits of Season 4) and just now decided to post it. It starts off a bit paragraph-y to open the story, then it become more conversational. I've already started the other chapters, but I want to hear what you think so far in case I want to do some editing. Reviews welcome! This will switch from one point of view to another. We begin with Penny.
I own nothing...
Chapter 1 – The Cutie Quandary
"Is it me?" Penny asked out loud to no one but herself as she lifted another spoonful of ice cream to mouth. She didn't particularly like this brand of ice cream, but it was the same kind Sheldon brought to cheer her up after the whole Leonard-confessing-his-love-for-her-before-she-was-ready thing. OK, so it was a bribe to get her to cream "One-L" Wil What's-his-face in bowling, but it still cheered her up.
"It must be me," she confessed with her mouthful.
Penny knew she was attractive, no matter how Mid-Western her face looked, and she knew she was likable as she had plenty of friends, but why was it that she couldn't hold on to any relationship or have one mean anything? Everyone else around her seems to be in fulfilling relationships. Take Leonard for example. He's not exactly what Penny would call a hot guy and isn't quite what society claimed to be "normal," however, he still snagged Priya, his gorgeous, successful girlfriend. Howard is engaged to an amazingly sweet girl and a great friend of hers. Penny cringed. Of all people, Howard, HOWARD, found true love and she couldn't. Even Sheldon, who has no people skills what-so-ever, managed to find what can only be described as his soul mate. Penny also cringed at the thought of Sheldon and Amy for possibly no particular reason. Maybe it was the cold of the ice cream. She liked Amy enough, once she was able to look past her weird quirks and science-y jibber-jabber. But Penny often feels a slight hint of jealously when days go by without her hearing Sheldon's triple knock, "Penny," triple knock, "Penny," triple knock, "Penny." She was his go-to girl when he needed her help with something. Usually it was some social conundrum that had his beautiful mind puzzled or that he didn't want to be alone when he was sick. He has Amy now. Raj, she thought, was just as lonely as her, but he has more issues than Sheldon's comic book collection, so she quickly brushed that from her mind.
Penny put the lid back on the ice cream container to save some for her next pity party scheduled for bed time. Sleeping alone was the one thing she hated most. Most of the guys she brought home were just for the sake of cuddling, nothing more. She wiped her face and decided to see what the guys across the hall were getting into tonight. Penny wanted to ditch her pitiful bedtime plans and was even willing to watch Battling with the Stars or Dr. What-his-name, or even Baba…. Baba…. Bologna Five or whatever show Leonard likes but Sheldon hates. She should really pay more attention to what they talk about. No wonder they've all moved on to other sources of female interaction. Penny thought of the time Sheldon came to her at The Cheesecake Factory for advice on how to get Howard to forgive him. The look on his face when she impressed him with her Star Trek factoid was more than enough to make Penny want to do it again. That doesn't mean she'll go as far as watching it ever again just to pick up some measly trivia, but she liked impressing Sheldon whenever she could simply because it wasn't easy to impress that man.
Penny half-skipped across the hall, grabbed the guys' door knob expecting to let herself in as she always has, but this time she was stopped short by nearly ramming her face into their locked door. A locked door could only mean one of two things; both Leonard and Sheldon were out of the apartment, or Sheldon has locked himself safely behind the doors so to protect him, and his comic books, from potential burglars. He had an on/off fear of being alone in the apartment after someone broke in and took his beloved nerd gadgets. She could hear Sheldon typing furiously away at his laptop, so she decided to have a little fun.
Triple knock, "Sheldon." Triple knock, "Shel-," but before she could continue the sequence, Sheldon was at the door.
"Hello, Penny." Sheldon said with a slight squeak in his voice. He sounded pleased with himself.
"You didn't even let me finish knocking." Typical Sheldon. Efficient. Doesn't like to leave anyone waiting.
"Oh, I'm sorry." Sheldon started to close the door, but was stopped short.
"Sheldon, forget about it. Whatcha doin'?" Penny asked in a sing-song as she walked past Sheldon and over to his desk. He quickly followed.
"I'm in the process of typing out a strongly-worded email to Leslie Winkle. See, here I used all CAPS, and here I typed in italicized capital letters. I think if I emphasize the offensive words with all capital letters, I'll convey the tone of yelling and if I italicize the superlative adjectives, it will add an extra oomph."
"Oomph?"
"Oomph!" he replied with a jerk of the fist.
"What did she do to you this time?" Penny asked with a giggle.
Sheldon gave her a double-take and a sigh as if he couldn't believe she hadn't asked him sincerely.
"She sent out a campus-wide email advising everyone they needed to be checked for S.C. D. and that it was the main cause of the current coccydynia epidemic for which she recently tested positive. " Sheldon answered angrily and walked over to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. "That sounds awful!" "I know. That's why I'm replying with strongly-worded email." "No, I mean Leslie, poor girl." Her reaction annoyed Sheldon. "What is S.C. D.?"
"Sheldon Cooper Disease," he huffed in a child-like manner.
Penny laughed and let out a long "aw." She found that when Sheldon regressed into a pouty little boy, she just wanted to hug him and protect him from the big, bad world. She could just imagine his eyes growing wide at first, and then twisting up into rapid twitches, not sure how to react to the invasion of his personal space. She liked that Sheldon let her mother him from time to time. That's something Amy didn't, or probably couldn't provide. She wasn't exactly a comforting person, but Penny was, and Sheldon appreciated it. He was never too proud to thank her.
Penny squinted at the screen and tried to sound out cocc-y-dyn-i-a.
"What's that?"
"A pain in her ass." He slammed the bottle down on the counter. Penny couldn't help but laugh.
"Aw, sweetie, she just likes to push your buttons. Why don't you try not responding? Don't let her get the best of you. Leslie won't be able to handle it."
"Disregard her disdainful insults towards me and my work? Hmm," genuinely considering her theory. "The old 'cold shoulder' trick. Make her feel like she's not deserving of distraction and that my work is far more significant than exchanging meaningless and juvenile emails, unlike her work, which is obviously child's play, at best." He paused. "Ooh! That's a good one! I'll italicize 'child's play.' No, CAPS!"
He raced over to his computer, but Penny stepped in between him and his chair.
"No, no, no." Penny said as she pushed him toward the couch. She was dead set on not spending another night alone in her messy apartment, but she'll be damned if she were going to spend it listening to Sheldon pound away at his keyboard to Leonard and Howard's old flame.
Sheldon sat contently in his spot on the couch, Penny at least a seat and a half away on the other end. She offered to take part in one of his less-than-cool, ok, downright nerdy video games. Not enough people for teams. They could play Super Mario on N64. It wasn't Wednesday. They could play anyway. It wasn't Anything Can Happen Thursday. At this time of the day, "prevening" if you will, neither Penny nor Sheldon were ready to eat dinner. Besides, Sheldon and Amy would most likely have dinner together via webcam later and Penny wanted no part in that. It's amazing that that even when Amy is not physically in the room, Penny still felt like the third wheel. She sighed. Sheldon snapped a look her way and hopped up from his spot towards the kitchen. With his Green Lantern shirt on, he looked like a tall, lanky grasshopper.
"What are you doing?" she said quite startled.
"You sighed. I'm making you tea."
"Sheldon. " She paused, shrugged, and let him continue to make her tea. He wouldn't take no for an answer had she told him it was unnecessary as he was content with it being some sort of mandatory social convention. However, that's not why she didn't stop him. She liked having someone care for her from time to time. She knew deep down, past his personal bubble, though his brick wall of social phobia and awkwardness he had a heart that could grow up to three sizes on some days.
He held out her hot cup of tea. He knew just how she likes it, in one of Leonard's oversized mugs that one must grip with both hands, probably made for soup. Penny smiled and their hands met when she reached out. She expected Sheldon to say something long-winded. He didn't. He didn't even utter a "there, there," he just stared into her eyes. Surprisingly, his hands felt warm and comfortable underneath hers. Maybe it had something to do with some sort of transference of heat energy, or conduction-something-or-other Sheldon tried explaining once, but she definitely didn't feel what was expected – a cold-to-the-touch robot-man. He stared into her eyes, but not the look he gives her when she says something he doesn't agree with or that he thinks is stupid. It was a very relaxed, deep look. Penny blinked away from his gaze, taking possession of the mug. She must be the only girl in the world who worries about a guy noticing if her eyes were dilating or if her pulse rate was elevated.
Sheldon sat back down.
"Thank you, Sheldon." Penny said with a smile. "You know, you probably make a pretty good boyfriend."
Sheldon looked perplexed. He probably didn't understand the compliment. She didn't mean that he would make a good friend that's a boy. She meant a good boyfriend, no slashes no dashes.
"Sarcasm?" he asked genuinely, completely understanding her meaning.
"No honey, not sarcasm. You bring me tea or ice cream when I'm sad. You rescued me when I dislocated my shoulder and sang with me in bed. You loaned me money when I was facing financial doom. You helped me with my awful business idea." Her voice trailed in that et cetera kind of way. "You're always there for me, Sheldon." She paused to let their eyes meet. "Plus, you're kind of cute."
Penny scooted closer and touched his arm. She decided that she hoped her eyes were dilated and that he would notice if they were. Instead he looked down at her hand and thanked her. Hang on a minute, she thought. What was she doing? Was she just hitting on Sheldon Cooper? Doctor Sheldon Lee Cooper? He didn't seem to mind or have anything to analyze out loud. He just listened and watched her thumb brush his forearm. She quickly snapped herself out of it and checked the contents of mug for experimental drugs before taking a giant gulp of tea. That was strange.
