A/N: Written for the Insane level of Cheeky's Weekly over at HPFC. Also, I was watching some classic films a few weeks ago, so brownie points (hell, maybe a review on any one story, free of charge, haha) to anyone who reviews telling me which classic movie this fic is based on. It isn't very obscure; I expect a number of you have seen it, and even more of you would recognize the soundtrack and the names of the major characters.
Cheeky's – Percy/Narcissa; can't, morning, ribbon; "Don't be so humble, dear."
Strong as United – Darkness, Scarlet
–
Percy wasn't sure where his life was headed. He'd graduated Hogwarts, gotten all the OWLs and NEWTs that he could manage, found a fantastic job at the Ministry, and then- nothing. He'd gone from being personal secretary to the Minister of Magic himself to wandering listlessly through black-tie Ministry events hoping that no one would bother to speak to him because Merlin knew he had nothing to add to any conversation.
It was at one such black-tie event that this story begins.
He had been wandering the ballroom, flitting from conversation to conversation, people asking him questions without him providing any real sort of answer. Eventually Percy had grown tired of it, and so- unable to leave just yet- he had secluded himself in a men's restroom off the corridor running alongside the ballroom. He'd had but a single cigarette, and had pulled out a second to begin, when someone smelling distinctly floral had stepped in.
He glanced up, still rooting through his pocket for a lighter. "Hello, Mrs. Malfoy." He didn't know her well, but he certainly knew of her. Narcissa Malfoy, wife to Lucius Malfoy, the arch nemesis of his father and a man whose wallet was rather good friends with the Ministry of Magic. She was something else, that was for sure.
"Hello, Percy," she drawled. She appeared to be entirely unconcerned with the fact that either a man was in the women's or she was in the men's, not bothering to glance at him as she adjusted her hair, bosom, and dress in the mirror. Suddenly, just as his lighter clicked and his cigarette was lit, she turned to face him. "Percy, how have you been?"
After recovering from nearly dropping his lighter onto the marble floor below, he replied, "I'm doing just fine, Mrs. Malfoy, just fine."
She raised a single thin, perfectly arched brow, holding out a hand- index finger gently separated from the rest- for a cigarette. He gave her one and lit it as she spoke. "That's good, you're a decent liar." He began to sputter a protest, but she cut him off. "No, no, it's fine-" here she took advantage of her cigarette and then breathed out a tendril of smoke, a smooth floating wisp- "I don't care that you lied about being fine. Why not?"
"Why not what?" Percy demanded. "I'm not lying, Mrs. Malfoy, I-"
"I don't care why you lied," Mrs. Malfoy replied, exasperated. "Why aren't you fine? Why aren't you out there having the time of your life?" She turned to face the mirror again, and he could see her expression, rough but guarded, as she smoothed her hair and continued. "You're young. You should be having fun right now."
"Mrs. Malfoy, I-"
"Would you mind Apparating me home?" she asked suddenly.
Percy's jaw dropped. "I'm sorry, what?"
"Apparate me home, please." Regardless of her pretended niceties, it was clear from her tone that this was very near a demand, not a request.
"Al- alright," Percy said, uncertain of why she was requesting this. "Why?"
She gave a huge sigh; then, she made eye contact with herself in the mirror before rolling her eyes quite dramatically. "I have been drinking, and my husband will not be returning until very late." She pursed her lips for a moment. "I'm not in any sort of condition to Apparate myself."
"You- but-" Percy paused. "Fine. Let's go."
–
The Malfoy home was extravagant- if he'd thought the Ministry's marble flooring, high ceilings, and beautiful architecture were something, he hadn't seen anything until he got to the Malfoy Manor. He landed in the front garden- the parlor visible through several extremely large windows and decent night vision on his part- and gestured for her to walk herself inside. "Well, I got you home, Mrs. Malfoy. I'm going to leave now."
"No, you're not." This time she didn't even bother to provide the pretense of it being a request. "I don't want to walk inside alone. One of those terrible men Lucius used to keep around may be in there," she said with a dramatic shiver, "and those damned House Elves would just find a way to let me be killed. The little things just don't care like they used to."
Percy sighed loudly. Why me? "Fine. Let's get you inside."
As they made their way from the front to the back of the house (to where, Percy wasn't actually sure), Mrs. Malfoy flicked chandeliers lit in every room. Eventually, they reached what looked to be a small sitting area. "Tippy!" she called coldly. A House Elf, presumably Tippy, appeared. "Fetch me two drinks: a bourbon, and a- what will you have, Percy?"
"Oh, I won't have anything, Mrs. Malfoy, really, I'd best be going now, don't you-"
"Two bourbons," Mrs. Malfoy instructed Tippy. Tippy nodded before vanishing away.
–
Mrs. Malfoy yawned quite loudly and quite suddenly. Percy had only sipped at his bourbon, whereas she had had hers refilled several times. "I think I'd best go to bed now."
"Great!" Percy stood, eager to leave. "I'll be leaving now, then. Good night, Mrs.-"
"No, no, no," she disagreed. "You have to come with me. What if one of those men were hiding up there, just waiting to rape me? Or kill me?" Her wide eyes said terror, but the glint deep within them held nothing so naïve.
Percy was getting quite frustrated by now. "Now, really, Mrs. Malfoy, just what would your husband think if he came home and you and I were upstairs in your bedroom?"
"That you were protecting me!" Mrs. Malfoy insisted. Then, a pause. Her eyes narrowed. "Come with me."
–
"Percy, could you be a dear and unzip this dress for me?" she requested.
His jaw dropped. "Mrs. Malfoy, I-"
"Percy, please, stop being such a baby. It's just a zipper, would you undo it for me so that I can get to bed?" She glared at him over her shoulder.
"Honestly, Mrs. Malfoy, what would your husband think if he were to come in and I was unzipping your dress?"
This time, she smirked. "What, would he think you were seducing me?" At his slight blush, she squealed. "Oh, no! You think he would think I'm seducing you!" His blush furthered, and suddenly- "You think I am seducing you!" He gave up and walked over, silently unzipping the back of her gown. "You really think I'm seducing you!"
"Mrs. Malfoy, I'm very sorry, that was very inappropriate of me to-" Percy was cut off by the sound of chiffon hitting Oriental rug and the visual experience that was Mrs. Malfoy without anything to cover or restrain her bosom. He covered his eyes quickly, but not quickly enough. He had seen everything, and he wasn't entirely sure he'd be able to get it out of his head. "Mrs. Malfoy, I'm sorry, I didn't realize you were going to-"
"Would you like for me to seduce you?" Her voice was lower now, breathier. He released the hand that was covering his eyes, determined to make eye contact. She was making it very difficult, though, with all the heavy breathing and chest heaving.
"Mrs. Malfoy, I can't- I can't do this!"
"Percy, it's just sex. You can. You're made to. We all are."
"Mrs. Malfoy, I can't!"
And finally, she let him leave.
–
It was several weeks later, at another Ministry function, that he realized he did want her. He approached her carefully, wanting to ensure that no one would witness his solicitation. She looked as stunning as she had the last time, from the contrast of the darkness of her hair ribbon against her pale, pale blonde hair to the faint scarlet rouge adorning her cheeks. "Are you still offering me what you did a few weeks ago?" Percy asked, attempting to employ what little tact he had.
"Yes, Percy," Mrs. Malfoy said quietly. "Go to the men's restroom now."
"What?"
"I said," she practically growled, "go to the men's restroom. Now."
"All right, all right." He exited the ballroom, walked the hallway, and entered the same restroom in which they'd encountered each other that first night. There he paced for several minutes, and just as he was beginning to worry that she had sent him away for offending her with his question, she entered. "Before we do this- why me?"
She seemed confused. "What?"
"I'm not like your husband," Percy said, rather self-conscious as he thought about what he was legitimately considering doing. "I'm not wealthy, or particularly interesting, or even attractive. If you wake up in the morning next to someone like me, you're not going to feel great about yourself."
"Don't be so humble, dear," Narcissa replied, laughing lightly. "You're plenty attractive. And besides, I won't be waking up next to you; there's no need for us to stay together that long."
