Una Chronicles

A Tale of Action, Romance, and the Occasional Coffee

(but really it's a comedy)

Chapter 1

On the planet Pop Star, there is a place called Dream Land where people and inter-planetary beings live. These inter-planetary people are sometimes humans, sometimes aliens, and sometimes heroes. One of these is a little pink ball known as Kirby. Ah, yes. That lovable little bundle that, on Super Smash Brothers and else where, can knock the crap out of you.

But this story isn't about Kirby. No, there is a more sinister plot afoot in this story, and Kirby only has a minor role- and even that is very short and in the beginning. Rather, this story is about another being. He is Kirby's foil, his mentor, his friend, his enemy. Some rumors even claim that he is Kirby's father. You guessed it, it's Meta Knight.

He, the calm, cool, collected symbol of authority, had never seen anything so amazing and beautiful in his life. He wanted it, and he was willing to pay the price. All $5.18 for it.

"I'll take the double capp, extra late with extra whipped cream with cream and two sugars. Grande please."

"For here or to go?'

"To go, please," He said.

Chivalrous to the extreme and an unbelievably smart fighter, Meta Knight deposited his money on the counter and dropped some extra into the tip bucket. He took his coffee and left 'Star's Bucks', heading to the right. Then he realized that he would have to remove his iconic mask in order to drink his coffee. He sighed tiredly as he pondered whether he should just wait until he got back to his ship to drink his coffee. But no, then it would be cold, the whipped cream will have melted, and re-heated coffee is never as good as piping hot coffee.

So, as he walked down the street, hot coffee in hand, he thought of how he could drink his coffee without taking off his mask and without looking completely ridiculous. Finally, he was set upon simply shifting his mask down a bit.

"Glad I grabbed a straw," he muttered to himself. Presently, a new being entered the scene.

"Aaah!" said the little pink ball. Meta Knight barely acknowledged Kirby as they walked down the street.

"Ooh?"

"No. I paid way to much for this to share. Besides, I though you said you hated coffee."

"Aah!"

"Five dollars, why?"

Then Kirby went off in a tangent of ooh's and aah's and other words that spell-check doesn't recognize about how over-priced coffee was so 1980's. And that Meta Knight was supposed to be the great sign of chivalry and kindness.

"No, not kindness," Meta Knight said. "Chivalry, yes. Kindness, no. I do not show mercy unless it is absolutely called for. Do you understand that?"

Meta Knight had, by this time, managed to get his mask in a comfortable position so he could drink from the straw. He almost sighed when the still-warm coffee hit his mouth. It was so delicious…

"Yetchi!"

Meta Knight spit out his coffee (which happened to hit several other beings walking down the sidewalk.) "I should WHAT?"

"Aah!"

Meta Knight stared at Kirby for a long time. "Are you crazy? Me, find a girlfriend?"

Kirby nodded and then pointed at the nearly-empty coffee cup. Meta Knight grumbled as he handed it to Kirby. Into the black hole of Kirby's mouth it went- cup and all.

"I think that your judgment is off, Kirby. If I were to have a girlfriend, well…"

"Aah?"

"IT WOULD PROVE I STILL HAVE A SOUL!" and with that, Meta Knight spread his wings and took off.

Now, of course Meta Knight has a soul, and he even shows it whenever he does a good deed or something of the sort. But being Meta Knight- I mean SIR Meta Knight- He has a reputation to uphold. He never had a girlfriend and as far as we know no wife (therefore, ruling out the guess that Meta Knight is Kirby's father- but we don't know for sure). So it would just be weird for him to have one, that's all.

Meta Knight looked around cautiously, then, knowing he was alone, folded his wings and made a steep dive. He spread them out again, climbing the air currents higher and higher, spiraling upwards, doing a loop. 'Ah yes,' Meta Knight thought to himself. 'The joys of flight and freedom.'

Presently, he heard a new noise, a whirr and a clickety clackety. Meta Knight stalled and looked around for the source of the noise. He found it in the form of…

"What in the Dragoon's name is that?" he said out loud. It was a helicopter-like flying vehicle, and the driver looked similar to Kirby. Except she was a girl, she was white, and she had black and white striped hair-like stuff on her head. She smiled and waved, then returned her attention to the controls of her apparently home-made ship.

Meta Knight flew in closer and shouted over the wind, "Are you sure that is at all safe?"

The girl nodded without looking at Meta Knight. "My sister and I made it in our garage. It's perfectly safe! Not that you'd need to ride it- you already have your own set of wings!"

With that, the girl spiraled down in a wide circle. Meta Knight chose to follow her to teach her that things made in garages are usually not safe at all.

Well, that's what he was going to do until he saw her garage.

"Eh, quite the workshop you've got here," Meta Knight said. The girl jumped at the sound of his voice, but turned and looked at him anyway.

"Y-you really think so?" she asked.

"No, I was kidding," Meta Knight replied sarcastically. The look on the girl's face showed that she didn't understand his sarcasm, so he hurriedly replied "I was joking, I kinda like it!"

There was an awkward silence for several eternally long seconds. Finally, Meta Knight spoke. "Well, uh, I'd better get back to my ship then,"

"No, please stay," said the girl. Meta Knight felt rather weird. No one had ever asked him to do that before. His response?

He shrugged. "Sure. What's for dinner?"

(NOTE) This story is meant to be a comedy with some slightly serious and slightly romantic parts. I get it. Meta Knight is not supposed to have love. But this is FanFiction- anything can happen!