Inception / The Social Network – As If Only a Whisper
And the world fell around him
One day, Mark Zuckerberg woke up and he wondered why he felt like the world had changed while he slept, and why he felt such an ache in the pit of his stomach. He went about his morning as usual, but sometimes he had to stop and take deep breaths because it hurt so much, too much, and he could barely stand it. His heart struggled to keep beating, and it was with much difficulty that he managed to get out the door when he did, even if it was later than his usual.
All day he felt like something was utterly wrong with the world, like something was suddenly gone and only he cared about it. Everyone around him went about their day as they always did, and when they asked him what was wrong, he wanted to scream at them, ask how they could possible keep living and walking around as they did, did they not want to start crying until they had no more tears to shed? Because that's all he wanted to do.
Almost near the end of the longest day in his life, his friend and colleague Dustin came to perch on his desk. By then, Mark had shoved his unshed tears far down his stomach, but he wasn't sure if he'd be able to hang in there if Dustin came to share his feelings with him.
"Hey, Mark. You feeling okay?"
"Fine" – was all he could manage.
"Are you sure? You..." – the red head sighed – "You heard about Eduardo?"
"What?"
"Look, man, I know it's been... That it's not... That it's been weird with him since, you know, the lawsuit and everything, but he moved on, man, he was bound to"
"... Right"
"So... Wanna get wasted tonight?"
"No, thank you, I think I just need to... Be alone tonight"
"You're not gonna do something stupid, right?"
"Like what?"
"Like... Try to hack into his... Into the guy's Facebook or whatever, right?"
"No, of course not"
"Alright then. But I'm good if you wanna talk, okay?"
"Okay" – he paused – "Thank you, Dustin. You're a good friend" – the red head blinked and frowned.
"Now I'm really worried, man"
"Don't be. If I need you, I'll call and then we can get as drunk as you want" – Dustin nodded and after a few more moments, he left.
For several minutes, Mark didn't move, he barely blinked and if breathing weren't involuntary, he would've stopped doing that too. He managed to abruptly shut his laptop and shove it in his bag and five minutes later he was in his car driving home early for once.
The moment he was inside his house, though, he slid to the floor as the world came crushing down on him, and the tears he fought so hard to keep in check all day started falling and soon enough he was sobbing.
"Eduardo" – he whispered.
Who the fuck was Eduardo, and why even saying his name, even thinking about his name, made Mark want to rip his heart right out of his chest? If he thought the pain he felt when he woke up was severe, then he had to be dying now, because he couldn't imagine anyone feeling so much and living much longer. Surely it was a sign that he was about to die? Death by tears.
He had no idea how long he sat by his front door, but when he finally stopped crying, he felt completely drained, and he could only drag himself to his couch and fall into a fitful sleep.
When he next woke up, it was with a start, and after blinking a few times, he realized it was because a man was shining a light in his eyes pretty persistently.
"Stop that, what are you doing?" – he groaned, and managed to sit up – "Who are you, how did you get inside?"
"You gave me the code, remember?" – now Mark could see him more clearly; slick dark haired, dark eyed, dark shirt, tan leather jacket, and God, but he looked so familiar and it just made him want to cry again.
"Who are you?" – he asked again in a whisper.
"Arthur. You hired me, remember?"
"No, I don't. What would I hire you for?"
"To see"
"See what?"
"What it would be like to forget something important to you"
"Are you a riddler? Just spit it out"
"Do you remember how you got here?"
"What?"
"How did you get here from your office?"
"I... I drove"
"Do you remember driving back?"
"Of course I–" – except. He didn't.
"And how did you get to your office?"
"I–" – didn't he drive too? Surely he drove to and from his office, even if he couldn't remember, how else would he–?
"Mark. Do you remember anything that happened during the day?"
"I worked, I..." – but did he? He had a vague sense of staring into his computer screen like usual, though, for once, he couldn't recall every line of code he wrote or revised, even call he got, every conversation he had or heard. All he could remember was the feeling of strangeness around him, and even that was... Timeless, somehow.
Mark held onto the couch as his house started to shake, though Arthur remained cool and collected.
"What's happening?"
"You hired me, Mr. Zuckerberg, because you wanted to know what it would be like to forget you ever knew a man called Eduardo Saverin"
"Who's– Why would I want to forget about him?"
"You didn't give me that information, just asked to see what it would be like, and this is what it would be like. How is it?"
"It's fucking horrible" – Mark blurted, at last managing to put the feeling into words – "It's the worst thing I've ever experienced. I didn't know... I didn't know it was possible to hurt so much" – Arthur nodded slowly.
"I believe this concludes my end of the deal, Mr. Zuckerberg" – Arthur said while getting up.
"No, wait, what about– What about this... This... Eduardo? Will I ever remember him? Dustin knew him" – he put a hand over his mouth and whispered – "I knew him"
"You did. And when you wake up, Mark, you'll remember all about him"
"I will?" – he frowned – "Wait, what do you mean, when I wake up? I am awake"
"Are you?" – the house started to shake again around them, this time much more violently, and Mark didn't even have the chance to scream when the roof suddenly collapsed onto them.
With a start, Mark woke up. He rolled to the side coughing, clutching his chest as he tried to catch his breath. After a few minutes, he finally settled and managed to lay back down. He stared into the ceiling as he tried to remember his dream. It had been... Really sad, there was still a deep sense of dread and despair and melancholy within him that he couldn't quite shake off, but for the life of him, he couldn't remember what he' dreamed about.
He eventually got on his feet and stopped on his way to the bathroom when he spotted a note on his laptop. He frowned and picked it up with anxious hands.
'I would advise you to speak to EDUARDO SAVERIN' – was all the note said.
"Wardo" – he whispered, passing a hand over the words and closing his eyes – "Wardo"
A glimpse of a man talking to him in his living room was all he could remember of his dreams, but the pain remained as he thought about Eduardo, his... Once his best friend, once his almost something else, and now just someone who hated Mark's guts. Why would– Why should he go and talk to him, and why did it pain him to even consider what would happen if...
He turned the note.
'Your world without him was very bleak'
His world– What did that even–?
While he still could not remember more than the faceless, shapeless man, he could remember almost too clearly the way his chest felt constricted and small and empty, and suddenly Mark's hands trembled as he considered the words on the note. What would his life be without Eduardo's presence in it, even as faint as it now was?
It didn't bear thinking, it was inconceivable. It was–
Bleak. The mere thought of it was indeed bleak.
He glanced at his computer and hesitated before he touched it. But then he thought about the pain, and the tears, and the man, and his hand moved without his command and opened the laptop. Within moments, his e–mail was opened and he was ready to send a new message. Just typing Eduardo's address made him breathe deeply, and he finally sat on the bed with the computer on his lap.
"Wardo" – he said softly, and started writing.
This is pretty fucking depressing, but I think the future is hopeful for Mark and Eduardo. =)
