Ok, here goes. A few months ago I posted the first of my four character pieces each focusing on a member of the Red Dwarf crew, promising to post the rest later. Finally, I'm getting around to it. The style is a bit different, as they were written at different times in my life, but like that one, it's short and doesn't really have a plot. It's just about Lister thinking. I'm giving this one a PG rating, which may be a little lenient, but only if you see something inherently wrong or dirty in homosexual relationships or love. I'm generally not all that into Red Dwarf slash (yaoi is my thing), but I don't really think it's that outlandish to think that Lister might harbor love-like feelings for Rimmer. And I don't own Red Dwarf or anything, and I'm not making any money off this, so don't sue me^_^ On to the fic!





"I have come to know you

Over all these years

We've seen many days come and go

After all the time we've shared

All the secrets told

Will you ever say 'I love you'" –from Always, by The October Project



Lister



He lay awake in the darkness. He couldn't sleep… Why couldn't he sleep? Through the void he stared up at the ceiling above his bunk. It was dark, but he'd been awake so long his eyes were well adjusted. He could see, by the light seeping under the door from the corridor and by the dim glimmer of thousands of stars, the poster tacked up above him. A woman. Naked. She was beautiful, toned and big breasted. He sighed and turned over onto his side.

He couldn't sleep. Damn Rimmer and his snores! Anything to irritate him, even while asleep! But no… That wasn't really true. He'd spent years in this room with Rimmer. He was used to the snores; he always slept right through them. In fact, he had trouble sleeping when Rimmer wasn't snoring below him. He remembered a morning several years ago when Rimmer had moved in with his twin hologram. He'd walked out to find him painting the walls the same color they were. He'd mentioned to Rimmer that he hadn't gone to bed yet. He didn't tell him that it was because he couldn't sleep without that comforting, rhythmic snoring coming from the lower bunk.

So why couldn't he sleep? Oh, why was he in this room with Rimmer, anyway? It wasn't as if the ship were short on empty quarters he thought gloomily. He could have his own room, do things they way he wanted. He didn't get along with that git, why did they continue to share their living space? Why was he so afraid of being without him?

Sleep. So elusive when his mind was full of the day's memories. For a while today it had looked sure that Rimmer would be gone… That he'd be free of him forever. That holoship crew he'd been so desperate to join. When Rimmer had come back they'd all made snide remarks about their bad luck at not being rid of him, but really, he'd been so relieved. That git had done it for that woman. He said he loved her, but… Surely love isn't something you feel in a day. It's an emotion born from years of closeness. Grown out of truly knowing someone and finding you can't live without them. Surely love was something more like their friendship… Oh, what was he thinking!? He didn't love Rimmer… Argh! He was too tired for this…

He wished he could sleep! To get his mind off these thoughts… To straighten himself out… To get rid of some of this stress… So he could think more clearly… And the snores continued. He fidgeted a bit, getting comfortable, and continued to wait for sleep.