Summary: A new student has come to Hogwarts, entering the school with an Evil Plan to hook up Draco and Harry. But will the hot new DADA teacher, Takeshi-sensei, help or harm her Evil Plan? And what could possibly make Hermione skip class?! Involves Draco/Harry coupledom, Ron/Hermione, and Snape/my very own Takeshi-sensei. ^_^ Probably the most shameless Mary-Sueism ever, but lots and lots of slash!

Warnings: If you don't know what 'yaoi otaku' means, don't read. You will either be horrified or very confused.

Disclaimer: Harry Potter is not mine, I get nothing from this but a boosted ego if nice nice people give me nice nice reviews.

Yaoi Otaku in Hogwarts

part 1: the search

There was a new student at Hogwarts this year. She arrived in a rather unusual manner. First of all, beneath the required robes, Sara-chan wore a bright blue shirt with a large picture of a cartoon character on it. She carried a bag covered in strange foreign writing and more of those cartoon characters. In her spare hand she clutched tightly to a large bright yellow stuffed mouse-type thing. All of the slightly more experienced Hogwarts students looked at her strangely as she came in.

"So," A sixth year student with slick blond hair came up to her, a sneer on his face, "What do you think you're doing here, Muggle? You have no place in this school."

Sara-chan blinked confusedly, "You... you..." Suddenly, it looked as if a light came over her face. "DRACO-CHAAAAAAAAAAAAAN! WAI WAI WAI!!!!!!!!" And, with no warning whatsoever, Sara-chan dropped all of her belongings (including her poor little owl) onto the floor, and gave Draco a big hug. "Anata wa, watashi no ichiban aidoru desu yo! Anata ga daisuki da yo!"

Draco was stunned. Nobody had ever dared to even touch him before, and suddenly this crazy girl runs up to him and... and what was she saying, anyway?

"What? What language is that?"

"Nihongo da yo! I mean... gomen gomen... Japanese. I... I'm an extreme otaku," Sara-chan said reluctantly, finding it difficult to form English words in her mouth. "That means I'm totally obsessed with anime and video games.." Noting the blank stares on her beloved's face, Sara-chan remembered that, as a born wizard, Draco Malfoy would never have heard of either anime or video games. What a boring life. How did he ever survive? She felt a sudden surge of pity for her little Draco-chan, living and going on despite a lack of anime and video games... what a noble man.

Then again, Sara-chan herself would have to deal without those wonderful inventions for an entire year... but she would have her Draco... and her Percy... and, if all went as planned, Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy would give her the yaoi she needed to survive.

Sara-chan began laughing to herself, and the still-in-shock Draco regained his senses enough to give her a withering look. "Get out of here, Muggle, you're crazy. I can't believe we have a cartoon obsessed freak at this school," He commented, brushing past her with perfect arrogance.

So.

He had heard of anime before.

"Hey, Draco-chan! It's ANIME, not cartoons! BAKA!" But unfortunately, he was gone.

***

Of course, they put her through that frightening Sorting Hat ritual, but when a rather confused Hat granted her wish to be in Slytherin, Sara-chan was overjoyed.

"Yatta! Yatta!" She cried, jumping up and down with glee right in front of everyone else in her class. Ignoring their curious stares, she ran over and found a seat right next to Draco Malfoy.

"Sara-chan is gonna get to be with Draco-poo all year long," she purred.

"Poo? Draco-poo? Who are you, crazy lady? What's wrong with you? And what is that yellow mouse in your hand?!"

"I'm Sara-chan, certified Yaoi Hentai Otaku, who came all the way from America just to see you and your future lover! There's nothing wrong with me... nothing... nothing at all... really... " Sara-chan laughed nervously, "Anyway, it's not a mouse. It's a Pikachu, see?" Sara-chan held the Pikachu up to Draco's face. "Pika pika!"

"What the hell?"

"Oh, never mind," Sara-chan was suddenly gloomy, "You'll never understand."

"And what was that about my 'future lover'?"

"Oro..."

"IN ENGLISH!"

"Never mind." Sara-chan repeated abruptly, and ran off in search of Percy, despite the facts that that was strictly against school rules.

When her bags started to get heavy, and Percy was nowhere to be found, Sara-chan decided it was time to take a break.

"Heh heh heh... I've always wanted to see if this would work..." She pulled out her pack of Clow Cards she had bought on sale at Kaybee toys, along with the Clow Stick Thingy from Suncoast.

"Fly Card, RELEASE!" She yelled, forgetting the entire rest of the spell... Sara-chan spent most of her Card Captor Sakura viewing time ogling Touya and Yukito.

Nothing happened.

"Damn it... RELEASE, I TELL YOU, RELEASE!"

Nothing happened.

Suddenly, a booming voice came from behind her.

"Sara-chan. This is NOT one of your Muggle shows. The magic here is real, and if you keep up this child's play, I will personally have you expelled from this school."

Sara-chan turned, and was confronted by the rather frightening face of Professor Snape.

"Oh, gomenasai, Snape-sensei, I won't do it again," Sara-chan bowed three times to illustrate her apology.

"I will also have you remember that this is England, not Japan, and in England you are expected to speak in English. You are to address me as Professor Snape, do you understand?"

"Hai..I mean... Yes, sir." As Snape walked off, Sara-chan hit her head as evil, evil thoughts of Professor Snape with her beloved Draco-poo invaded her mind.

She found her room eventually (unfortunately, it was not with Draco-poo...) and began taking poster after poster out of her bag, along with tape, so that the castle walls surrounding her could be lightened up a bit.

I still haven't seen Harry...One of Sara-chan's voices commented.

Oh, shut up, you can see him anytime. Oh, the Great And Virtuous Harry Potter, how amazing he is! But, he's not half as gorgeous as Draco.

I wanna see him WITH Draco. Like, ON TOP of Draco.

No way! Draco is soo on top.

You hentai! How can you think of such things with a sixteen year old kid?

Well, I'm sixteen myself... They only let me in here after extensive work at the Wizarding Night School...

Hey, why do I have multiple voices arguing with each other in my head?

With that final thought, Sara-chan drifted into a sleep complete with dreams about her new beloved, Draco-poo.

***

Sara-chan's first class was DADA with Professor Takeshi.

Takeshi? She wondered, half delighted and half suspicious. Hmm... I wonder if he's Japanese...

She walked into the class, stuffed Pikachu still in tow, and found herself immediately confronted by the most beautiful bishounen she had ever seen. His dark blue hair hung down to his knees, and his emerald green eyes glimmered with mystery. His beauty was far more than anything Sara thought could be seen in real life, and something about his presence just seemed to make the air sparkle around him. So that's where bishounen sparkles come from... one of Sara-chan's voices thought.

He turned to face her. "Aa, Sara-chan. I have been eagerly awaiting your arrival. I have a favor to ask of you..."

Sara-chan couldn't handle it anymore. Favor? Ooh, Professor, I'd do anything you ask me to, that same hentai voice answered. With that thought, the bishounen that stood before her, and the naughty mental images that snuck into her mind, Sara-chan was overwhelmed. She fainted right into the arms of Takeshi-sensei.

***

She woke up in the hospital wing, and the first thing that met her eyes was a lightning shaped scar.

"Harry? Is that you?" She asked, knowing perfectly well that it was. The boy nodded.

"Professor Takeshi doesn't like me much, so he sent me out of class to take care of you," Harry said gloomily.

"Hmm.. well, since we're here, I have some questions for you." Sara-chan leaned closer to Harry. "I've heard a lot about you, Harry Potter. You're famous even throughout my Muggle world." Sara-chan noticed the exasperated, how-many-times-do-I-have-to-go-through-this look on his face. Sara smirked. "My question is, do you love Draco Malfoy?"

The exasperated expression changed abruptly to one of total shock. "What are you talking about? He's my arch nemesis! He's evil! How could I ever love Malfoy?!"

"You're blushing," Sara-chan noted.

"I am not," Harry denied, the blush spreading more deeply over his face. "The fall must have messed with your head."

"Well... hey!" Sara-chan realized something, "Maybe you're right! The voices are gone! Yaay! All the many voices in my head have been perfectly silent since I woke up!" Sara-chan leaned over and kissed Harry on the cheek. "Thank you so much!"

Harry stared at Sara, a peculiar expression on his face. "Uh-huh..." He replied, still wondering personally how ANYONE could figure out his secret weakness. His weakness for the one whom he had originally hated- a hate so intense it transformed like magic into a love and passion unrivaled by anything the young wizard had ever before felt. The more Draco teased him, the more Harry felt himself falling into his rival's spell. And now, he had heard how Sara-chan clung so determinedly to Draco Malfoy. That rumor and her not-so-tactful question could only mean one thing.

Sara-chan was Harry's rival for Draco's heart.

***

Sara-chan made it for the last few seconds of class, and spent those few seconds staring at Professor Takeshi. She was curious as to that favor he wished of her, but guessed it was nothing like what her hentai voice had originally hoped.

As soon as the class ended, Professor Takeshi pulled Sara-chan aside. Literally. His hand was on her arm... Sara-chan thought she might faint again.

"I need you to do something for me, Sara," His voice was deep and as soft as silk, reminding her a lot of the famous voice actor Koyasu Takehito.

She waited for her voices to start their usual debate about which of his characters was the hottest, before remembering that, hooray!, her voices were all gone.

"Whatever you want, Takeshi-sensei!" She replied happily. As she said this, Sara-chan remembered Snape's reaction to the same title. She waited nervously for a reprimand, but instead Professor Takeshi just laughed.

"Miss Sara, I know why you came here. I know your intentions, and understand far better than you the evil of your plans."

Sara stood perfectly still. Could it all be over so soon? No, no, not her wonderful dream...

"... And, I would like to help you."

"What?"

"I want to help you," he repeated.

"But... it's evil! I'm trying to use illegal substances to force two straight archrivals to fall in love with each other! How can you possibly want to support me?" Sara-chan was confused.

"Ssh! Somebody will hear you!" Takeshi seemed panicked, "You make it sound like you're some crazy drug dealer! Now, listen up. I said I'd help you, but only for a small price."

"Um..."

"Would you give me some of the love potion?"

Sara was, for the second time, shocked.

"But... I've done a little research already. If I make it, it'll have to either be specified yaoi or shounen-ai potion. It won't work on anyone of the opposite sex." Sara-chan sounded remotely intelligent as she said this.

Quite unexpectedly, Takeshi began to giggle. Yes, giggle. "I know. I have my eyes set on Snape."

For a second, Sara-chan was too surprised to move. However, this wore off quickly and she began to jump up and down.

"Sugoi! That's great! I never would have guessed it!" And Sara-chan, flashing a final adoring grin at Professor Takeshi, ran out of the room at high speed.

***

I can't believe I didn't molest him when I had the chance, Sara-chan thought to herself, still remembering Takeshi-sensei. She realized, however, that she would have many more chances, and was happy.

At the moment, she was supposed to be at Herbology, but she decided that might be very boring, and she would rather skip. Sara-chan thought that perhaps skipping her second class of the year might not be that good a start, but the only things she was really interested in was Potions (Snape~~~! And learning how to make her love potion!) and, now, Defense Against the Dark Arts. And that funky psychic course, she wanted to go to that.

Sara-chan now was wandering almost aimlessly through the halls of Hogwarts, glaring menacingly at any ghosts or talking pictures that happened to be in her way.

That was when she saw, in some mainly unused dark hallway, a certain know-it-all who should have been in class.

Hermione spotted Sara-chan at approximately the same time Sara-chan spotted Hermione. The latter immediately gathered together a huffy and unwelcoming attitude.

"New girl... what's your name again?"

"Sara-chan."

"Sara-chan, whatever are you doing here? You should be in Herbology! The classroom is that way, in case you didn't know," Hermione pointed back in the direction Sara came from.

"Oh, I know! I'm skipping!" Sara-chan announced happily. "A better question would be, what are you doing?"

"Me? That's... that's none of your business!" Hermione blushed a deep shade of red very suddenly. Sara-chan noticed as she abruptly hid a strange object in her cloak. Sara-chan looked at Hermione suspiciously.

"I can't imagine what would possibly make the infamous Hermione Granger skip Herbology..."

"I'm not skipping! I'm not! I'm just... just..." Hermione suddenly burst out into tears and ran out of sight, shouting behind her, "Please don't report me!"

Sara was immensely confused. Something very strange was going on here... something that could even make Hermione skip class. She found herself all of a sudden very anxious to know what it was.

The key was obviously whatever Hermione hid from her. It was a kind of medium-sized object, and looked out of place in Hogwarts. It had a rather Muggle, electronic look to it... but this still told her nothing.

Oh, well. She would just have to stalk Hermione along with Harry and Draco. And Snape. And Takeshi-sensei. And Percy, whom she still hadn't met.

In fact, she realized all of a sudden that she had not yet seen a single Weasley, despite the fact that Ron should have been in DADA with her. Hmm. Well, she was sure one would have to come in by the next scene, and she just really hoped it would be Percy. Ah, Percy. Aah...

She was interrupted in her thoughts by Takeshi-sensei, who was a great deal hotter than Percy anyway, and who had suddenly walked up to her. Sara-chan blinked twice in surprise.

"Sara! What are you doing here?!"

Sara-chan was delighted to see his gorgeous face again. She glittered happily.

"Watashi wa... anou..." The problem was, she didn't know what to say, in any language. She did not think it would be wise to tell a teacher, however kind and hot he might be, that she was skipping class.

"I got lost," she lied, reasoning that in a place like Hogwarts that was a more than believable excuse. Still, Takeshi-sensei rolled his gorgeous emerald eyes.

"Sara-chan, this is not a normal high school where one can skip classes if one simply doesn't like them. If Snape or McGonagall caught you, you'd be expelled in one instant, and that would be it. No more love potions, no more Draco, no more Harry, no more Professor Snape."

"Gomen, Takeshi-sensei..." Sara-chan muttered guiltily.

"You have Potions next, and you better go to that. I would also like for you to remember that Snape has an uncanny ability to guess what people are thinking. So, you better try to erase all those hentai thoughts from your mind. I'm not sure they would be appreciated."

"You mean, he can read minds?"

"I don't think he really can, but sometimes when I'm around him, and I start to think about some, well, inappropriate things with him, he'll give me this really strange look... anyway, it's really embarassing. Just keep your mind on your work when around him, okay?"

Sara-chan nodded absentmindedly, as her thoughts had wandered off to what it was that Takeshi-sensei thought about that warranted such looks. She sighed blissfully.

"You're my very favorite teacher ever!" Sara-chan suddenly said as she flung herself at him in a big hug. Takeshi-sensei seemed a little taken aback.

"A.. anou.. arigatou?"

Sara-chan smiled happily and let go of him just as the bell rang indicating the class change. She ran off to Potions, still not seeing any Weasleys, but catching up to the Draco-poo she found walking behind Harry Potter.

Hmm. Walking behind of... just so he could stare at Harry's ---

Sara wasn't sure she would be good at this 'appropriate thoughts' thing.

"Draco-chan! Draco, Draco, wait up for me!" Sara-chan grabbed Draco's arm and snuggled up to him contentedly.

"Draco-chan, I have to ask you... what do you think of Harry Potter?"

Sara noticed how Harry tensed up in front of them as he heard the question. Sara was happy.

Draco, however, pushed Sara away with something close to terror in his eyes.

"Potter? Potter?! I hate him, I despise him, what do think I think of him?!"

"I thought you might be in love with him," Sara-chan said quietly. Draco looked furious.

"Look, Sara or whatever your name is, I'm not gay. And I hate Potter as it is. You're insane for even considering the possibility."

Sara looked pleadingly up at Draco, though she didn't know what she was pleading about. She did not see Harry's head drop as if in guilt at Draco's comment, or notice how he suddenly moved so quickly ahead of them.

It was not long before she managed to drape herself all over Draco again. As they arrived, Snape looked at them in disgust.

"Twenty points from Slytherin for PDAs."

Draco gasped and pushed Sara away.

"But, Professor, that's your own house! That's just cruel!"

Snape looked at him flatly.

"I know. But you two are just repulsive."

Draco looked as if he was about to burst into tears.

***

Sara sat in class, bored to death already. She didn't like thinking appropriate thoughts. What was the fun in that, anyway?

Snape was only entertaining when naked, and on top of Lupin. Or Sirius. Or even Draco or Harry, though that still kind of disturbed her... it was like that fanfic she read once---

Oh, yeah. Appropriate thoughts.

Sara-chan pulled out the stuffed Pikachu she had not yet put down and started making him do a little dance on her desk.

"Sara! Would you please concentrate on your work! You did not come to this school to play with vulgar looking stuffed animals!"

"Gom- I mean, I'm sorry, Professor Snape. I won't do it again," Sara-chan smiled cheerfully up at her teacher. He glared back at her and continued on with the lesson.

Sara went back to snuggling with Draco, whom she was sitting right next to. He attempted to shrug her off. Sara-chan frowned and whispered, "Meanie."

Draco smirked proudly. Sara realized that might not be the best insult for a bad guy like Draco.

That was when she realized that right behind her was Ron Weasley. Sara-chan turned around in her seat and whispered to him, "Ron! What's up with you and Hermione?" She loved this, being able to ask these people she had read so much about all these questions, and get all the Hogwarts gossip first-hand... woo-hoo...

Ron began to blush, obviously hiding his face from Hermione, who was in the class and sitting only a few seats away.

"Do you have to be so... so..."

"Tactless?" Sara offered.

"Uh-huh."

"Ah, sometimes. Depends," she replied, as useless as ever.

"There's nothing. Nothing at all."

"Then why are you acting like this? And why did Hermione skip Herbology? Wait, don't tell me you two were off-"

"What are you talking about?" Ron interrupted, slightly panicked, "Hermione skipped Herbology? ... Come to think of it, I don't remember seeing her there..."

"You didn't even notice?" Sara said incredulously, "Ha. Some boyfriend you'd make, idiot."

"Hey!" Ron seemed offended by that comment. "And what are you saying, she skipped? You're crazy, you know that? Hermione never skips. Hermione never does anything wrong. Hermione's perfect in every way..."

"Uh-huh," Sara said, an evil glint in her eyes, "And you're absolutely, positively sure there's nothing going on between you two?"

"I'm sure!" Ron replied.
Sara smiked and decided she had talked with Ron enough now. Plus, Snape was looking at the two of them very intently and it was making her nervous.

She continued to snuggle up to Draco, causing both Ron and Snape to look at her disgustedly.

From far across the room, Harry Potter stared at Sara-chan with jealousy glinting in his eyes.

She's just trying to steal my Draco from me, he thought bitterly, I know she is. She just is! And she's mean and she's evil and she deserves to die. Die a slow, painful death. Like Voldemort. Exactly. Like Voldemort. The sun may forgive her but I, Harry Potter, will not!

I'm going to get my Draco back, dammit!

***

A FEW WEEKS LATER

Hermione Granger lay in bed at night, thoughts focused not on school work, not on Hogwarts, A History, not even on Ron Weasley. No, they were focused on something so terrible, so unspeakable she could hardly bear to admit it to herself.

Those eyes...

That voice...

That sexy, sexy body...

Her thoughts were focused, for the moment anyway, on Hotohori, from Fushigi Yuugi.

***

Sara-chan missed anime. She missed anime a lot. She didn't understand how people in this society could survive without televisions, VCRs, or even DVD players. Or, for that matter, Playstations. She supposed one could get used to anything, but Sara-chan didn't particularly like change, and she sat in her bed staring longingly at the posters on the walls around her. She picked up her favorite Angel Sanctuary artbook and turned the pages slowly, finding all of her favorite pictures in little time at all. As she did this, a great longing and homesickness came over her.

No winged bishounen. No sexy naked men on top of other sexy naked men. No Angel Sanctuary, no Gravitation, no FAKE, no Earthian, no Ai no Kusabi, no Saiyuki. And there were no CD players, so no Gackt, no Dir en Grey, not even a few anime theme songs for poor Sara-chan. A single tear rolled down her cheek.

"I WANT MY HOT MEN!" She suddenly yelled aloud, waking a few Slytherin girls who glared irritably at her.

That was when Sara-chan decided it was high time to actually start searching for the way to make that love potion. She realized that, despite the large amount of manga and doujinshi she had brought with her, she was in grave danger of going into a yaoi deficiency.

She quietly slipped out of her bed, with little plan other than maybe to go visit Takeshi-sensei if she could find him. She exited her room without waking up anyone else.

Sara-chan walked for a ways in the hallways before she came across that really creepy cat. Sara looked at it straight in its eyes.

"Nyo," Sara-chan said menacingly. The cat cocked its head.

"Nyu?" It replied.

"Nyo, nyo... Gema!"

"Nyu nyu nyu," The cat stated.

Sara suddenly raised her arms in a threatening motion. "PYO!" She whispered loudly, causing the cat to let out a screech and run in the opposite direction.

Ha.

Sara continued on her way, quite proud of herself for scaring off that really creepy cat (Mrs. Norris, she thought she remembered it being called...). The hallways were dark, but they really didn't scare her, because she still had her stuffed Pikachu with her and was convinced that if anything tried to attack her, Pikachu would come alive and electrocute them.

That was when she came to that same unused hallway where she had first met Hermione, and coincidentally enough, Sara noticed a figure she recognized sitting in that hallway. Though it was too dark to see clearly, there was no question in her mind that the person sitting out in the hallway after midnight was Hermione.

In her hands she held a medium-sized object that was giving off a strange light. From it came also strange noises... noises that seemed somehow familiar to Sara-chan...

Sara-chan snuck up quietly to Hermione, until she was standing right next to her. Hermione was too engrossed in whatever she was looking at to notice.

It was a screen she was looking at, and the object was clearly a brand-new portable DVD player. But the strangest thing yet was what was on the screen: one of Sara-chan's own favorite animes, Fushigi Yuugi.

"Hermione..." Sara said quietly, hoping not to frighten her too much.

Hermione looked up at her abruptly, tears streaming down her face.

"Sara!" She managed to exclaim, before suddenly setting the DVD player down and collapsing into Sara-chan's arms, "Sara, they killed Nuriko! Ashitare... Ashitare, that bastard, he killed Nuriko! And it was just after he had told Miaka how much he loved her... though I think he really did love Hotohori more despite all that... but it's so sad because they killed Nuriko! Nuriko~~~!"

Although overwhelmed by the implications of this whole situation, Sara-chan had vivid memories of her first viewing of Nuriko's death, and understood perfectly what Hermione must be going through.

"There, there, it's okay, his ghost comes back later on and it's just as pretty as his real body," Sara-chan reassured Hermione. Hermione looked up at her, wiping the tears from her eyes.

"You actually know what I'm talking about?"

"Of course! Fushigi Yuugi's one of my favorite shows! I have the complete manga set and both artbooks up in my room, if you want to borrow them sometime."

"I can't believe it... I found someone who knows what anime is..." Hermione seemed actually grateful, and it surprised Sara-chan. "You see, over the summer I lost my soul to anime. I had never known that something so crude and unintelligent could be so.. so... addictive."

Sara-chan sat back a moment, trying to absorb all of this. The most studious, boring girl in the world, an anime fanatic? An anime fanatic who would cry buckets at Nuriko's death, no less? That was when something occurred to her.

"Wait a second... do you mean to tell me you skipped Herbology just to watch anime?"

Hermione nodded sadly. "I couldn't help it. Before coming here this year, I put a spell on my portable DVD player to make it work even in Hogwarts. I haven't yet finished the whole series of Fushigi Yuugi, as you may have noticed, plus there's a ton of anime up in my room I haven't yet had the chance to watch. And I thought, oh, I know all this stuff already. It's easy. But then I started skipping every day, and then I almost didn't pass that last test... anime has taken over my life!"

"Aww," Sara seemed genuinely sympathetic, "I understand. You poor thing..."

"Anyway," Hermione suddenly drew back and resumed her normal unfriendly attitude, "What are you doing here? It's past curfew."

"Well..." Sara-chan decided that, given the information she had just been given, it would be okay to trust Hermione with her plan. "Do you know what yaoi is? Or shounen-ai?"

Hermione blushed so deeply it was obvious even in the darkness. "A little. I like Ai no Kusabi a lot, and Fish in the Trap, and Song of the Wind and Trees, and Zetsuai/Bronze, and Kizuna..."

Sara-chan almost burst out laughing, but managed not to. "That's more than a little, Hermione."

Hermione blushed even more.

"Well, then, do you know what slash is?"

The expression on Hermione's face was enough to tell Sara that yes, she knew what it was, and yes, she liked it.

"So, have you ever thought that Draco and Harry would make a cute couple?"

Hermione suddenly drew back a lot.

"Draco and Harry? Oh my god, no! Draco would have to be seme, and then... oh, poor Harry... don't you have any mercy, Sara?!"

"Come on, you gotta admit it's sexy."

Hermione said nothing for quite awhile. Finally, she replied: "Actually, you're right. They do."

"Yay!" Sara said happily, "So, my plan was to make a love potion that would make the two of them fall instantly in love. And Takeshi-sensei requested that I reserve some to make Snape fall instantly in love with him. So, I was wondering, would you help me?"

"Wheee! I always thought that Professor Snape and Professor Takeshi would make a great couple..." Hermione seemed to be getting happier by the second. "Of course I'll help you!"

"I was thinking we could go to the Restricted section of the library, but I didn't know how to get there."

"It's forbidden. And to get in we'd need to steal Harry's Invisibility Cloak, because people are always actually around there, unlike here."

"And making love potions is rather illegal, too, if you didn't know."

Hermione looked at Sara-chan in horror. "You want me to do something illegal?" She asked flatly.

"Well..." Sara-chan thought desperately of something that could make Hermione agree to do this, and not report Sara-chan. "Well, it's like FAKE!" Sara-chan came up with this suddenly. "Like when Dee steals that person's motorcycle, so he can crash through the window and save Ryo's life at the last moment. If he had gone in his car, Ryo would have died, and then Dee would never get laid."

Hermione pondered this a few seconds. "Plus, Dee looked really sexy crashing through that window like that."

"Yeah," Sara-chan agreed happily.

"Okay!" Hermione seemed optimistic about this again, "I can get us into Harry's room. We'll just steal the cloak, sneak into the library, sneak into the restricted section, find the 'love potions' section, and take all the books they have there."

It seemed much, much too easy for Sara-chan, especially after all this time she had spent trying to find some way to get these books, and for the fact that this was a highly forbidden form of magic. It also seemed that Hermione was warming up to this whole 'illegal' idea pretty quickly.

However, they did everything Hermione suggested, and it all worked fine, and after stealing all the books it took little time at all to find what was actually listed as "Yaoi Love Potion".

They copied down the recipe and instructions, hid the books all under Hermione's bed along with the stacks of anime movies, and both returned to their bedrooms.