A/N: I'm really depressed today so, be warned, there is no happy ending here. It's a true angst fic. I can't say it good… but, that's for you to judge… please do and review! Thank you!
Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, you already know that don't you?
I hold my peace
I watch from behind as you walk down the alley, looking so gorgeous dressed in white; I can tell you are a bit nervous and anxious but radiant all the same. It is just unbelievable that this day has come and I am not the one waiting for you at the altar; so many times I had dreamed about the two of us getting married and having our own family. And yet I always knew it was a dream that would never come true.
For weeks I've been preparing myself for this moment, but I never imagined it would hurt so much, my heart cracks with every step forward you take. It's no good telling myself it's the right thing to do, that if I had told you my true feelings I would have ruined not only your life but also my brother's, because I already know all this, that is why I'm standing here, letting the woman of my life walk away from me. My only comfort (if there is such a thing) is to know that you will be happy, but I still cannot accept the fact that you will never be mine…
I have loved you in secret for five years now, I always liked you of course, but since you left Hogwarts and I got to see the real Hermione, beyond homework and examinations I really got to know you, and it was impossible for me not to love you. And even as I was falling in love with you, I was aware that I would never have you… You and my brother are meant to be together, and I fought against these feelings for so long, but there was nothing to be done, I love you and nothing would change that. The only thing left for me to do was to lock me feelings deep down and try to move on. As if it was possible to let such a wonderful person go.
I remember that night, when Ron had been attacked by three Death Eaters, and he spent seven ours in intensive care while we didn't know if he would make it. I suffered twice what the rest of my family had to endure. I was tormented by the idea of losing my brother and devastated to see the sorrow in your eyes as he hovered between life and death. The love for him that your eyes reflected was too much for me to bear. It was as powerful as what I feel for you, and not even the healer coming out at last to tell us that he was going to be fine could extinguish my pain. Relieved and happy I was, completely satisfied never again. Something broke inside me that night, what I had always known was made absolute and irretrievable by what I read in your eyes.
Nobody ever found out how I feel about you, and none ever will. My mind has long ago defeated my heart, but whatever happens, I will silently love you forever. Someday I will find someone who loves me and with whom I will be happy, I know that, but I also know that you will never be replaced in my heart.
And now, as you take my brother to be your husband, as you are preparing yourself to live your life and form a family with a man who loves and whom you love, I hold my peace forever, and take with me my secret love for you.
THE END
