A/N: This is a birthday present for flyyhighcory on instagram. I wasn't sure what to make of your prompt so enjoy :)
It's also to cheer up breakawaysss on instagram. Love you girl. I'm sorry all this shit is happening to you. Not fair or right.
~Meowser
Maddie stared down at the stick in her hands. Not pregnant.
She sagged back against the wall, her legs giving out on her. She wasn't sure if she was relieved or disappointed.
Three years ago, she would have thanked heaven and earth for this news, but three years ago she was still with Doug.
Now, however, Chimney's face flashed into mind. He would be such a good father, and she knew he wanted kids.
They'd been friends for what felt like forever, and they'd been dating six months. Maddie knew that they were on solid ground, and she knew that her life was so much better now. But did that mean she was ready for a baby?
She hadn't thought in these terms in so long. Since getting together with Doug, he'd been very against kids, and then after a certain point in time, she'd known that if she'd conceived while they were together, it would be something she'd regret for the rest of her life.
Any child deserved a better father than that. So she'd gotten a birth control shot, unbeknownst to Doug, who even though he didn't want kids also wasn't a fan of using condoms. And she'd felt safe, and learned more about when she was actually ovulating, and on those days she just hadn't come home from the hospital. She'd worked doubles, she'd even slept in the lounge once and told Doug she was working. He'd never noticed the pattern in her working all day; thank god he'd never actually paid that much attention.
And now, for the first time, Maddie gave herself permission to think about kids again. She had a sneaky feeling in the back of her mind that she'd already given herself permission to do it when her shot had timed out and she'd never gone back to get a new one. She and Chimney had just barely started dating and she'd gone to see the doctor for her yearly checkup. Her doctor had asked if she wanted to go for another shot, or talk about other birth control options.
And she'd said no.
She hugged her knees to herself, sitting on the floor of the call center bathroom, unsure of how she felt right now.
Kids. A baby.
Oh god, any baby Chimney had a hand in making would be adorable. She imagined the dark hair and eyes and felt her heart speed up a little.
She imagined telling him, and his reaction. She imagined how lovingly he'd take care of her during those nine months, and beyond. His hands were such magic, and he had such a soft touch. She loved his neck massages, and she loved returning the favor. They had such a physical relationship, in a nonsexual way. They'd always hugged when greeting one another, and hand holding when they were out on a date was almost constant.
She felt her cheeks heat up a little, thinking of what else Chimney's hands could do, especially in terms of the reason she was holding a pregnancy test stick in the first place.
She hadn't told him she was late, even though she'd been freaking out about it for the last week before she'd knuckled down and finally bought a test. She had held out, waiting for her period with clenched teeth, and then today on her break she couldn't hold back anymore, going to the CVS on the corner.
She wasn't pregnant.
But there was suddenly a huge part of her that wanted to be, and an even bigger part of her that wanted Chimney to be the father.
She knew it was something she'd have to talk to him about.
That night at dinner, Maddie was quiet.
Chimney watched her with worried eyes. She'd been off all week; tense and jumpy, had shied away from his touch, just a little. He wasn't sure if this was an anniversary for her so he'd left it alone, knowing she'd bring it up when she was ready, but he was going a little stir crazy waiting for that to happen.
"Want a foot massage?" He wondered after dinner and dishes, as she settled onto the couch.
"Oh, no, baby, I'm okay," she said immediately, as he sank down on the couch next to her. "Do you want one? You're on your feet way more than I am."
He chuckled, his hand slowly landing on her calf, giving her ample time to move away before caressing her leg with his fingers. He missed her. He missed touching her.
"I'm good," he said. "I just want to finish this cabernet."
"That sounds like a great plan," she replied, reaching for her own glass. They sat in silence for a moment, his hands still moving in gentle circles on her legs. "Chim. There's something I wanted to talk to you about." She was working to talk and Chimney felt himself tense, wondering what she was about to tell him that could cause her this much stress. "Um, it's kind of a hard topic to bring up, so please be patient with me."
"Yeah, of course," he breathed, lifting one of her hands to press to his lips. She smiled at him, eyes softening.
She loved him, didn't she? They said the words so often but he still marveled that Maddie Buckley had any sort of feelings for him, let alone love.
"So, I've been waiting for…" She licked her lips, and took another sip of wine. "I've been waiting all week for my period."
Oh. Shit. He wondered how he hadn't noticed, and rolled his eyes at himself. He usually kept better track than this. No wonder she'd been stressed. Hadn't they been careful though? The last thing he wanted was to get Maddie in a situation she wasn't ready for, and that was paramount on his mind whenever they had sex.
"Maddie," he began, but she held up her hand.
"Chim, I took a test today and it was negative," she told him. "And I'm sorry. I should have told you before now, you had a right to know, I was just so confused and stressed and my emotions were in knots, I didn't know how I felt about it and I was...I was scared to tell you and I'm sorry, I know I shouldn't have been but-"
Now it was his turn to hold up a hand. "Maddie, don't apologize," he told her. "I knew you were stressing about something and I knew you would tell me when you were ready. It's okay. Now to unpack the other item."
"I want to have a baby with you, Chimney," she blurted out and then her face fell a little. "God, I was trying to be romantic about it. I'm sorry, that was a fail."
"Maddie," he tried to speak, but his heart was beating so fast it felt like it would explode. "Oh my god, Maddie, are you serious?"
She was moving closer to him on the couch, swinging her legs underneath her and taking his hands in hers. "I've been thinking about it all day, and maybe even longer than that without realizing it. I think you would make an amazing father and I would be honored to be the mother of your children."
Chimney still couldn't breathe, so he did the next best thing, reaching to gather her into his arms, pulling her onto his lap, and kissing her until she couldn't breathe either. "Oh my god, Maddie," he whispered, holding her close, burying his face in her neck. "Maddie."
He just kept repeating her name, and Maddie wasn't sure what to make of this reaction. She knew it was emotion that was keeping him from talking. She held him close, her hands rubbing circles on his back, relishing being this close to him.
"What do you think?" She finally whispered, pulling back so she could look him in the face.
"Maddie, nothing would make me happier than having kids with you," he told her, dead serious. "This wasn't a path I thought our relationship would take, and I was fine with that, but Maddie, you would make an amazing mother. I already know that."
She leaned to kiss him, tears running down her cheeks, laughter in her throat. They kissed for what felt like an age, before he pulled away.
"So what kind of timeline are we talking?" He wondered, his eyes flashing. "Two years, three?"
She shrugged, lifting one shoulder. "We're both making good money right now, we both have stable jobs. I'd say we think about moving in together and then…" She licked her lips. "My lease is up in August so we could start thinking about trying in September." She raised worried eyes to meet his. "Too soon?"
He leaned to kiss her again, long and slow. "Perfect," he whispered, his breath hot on her ear, making her shiver as he leaned to kiss her neck, and moved his mouth to her earlobe. "Of course...it wouldn't hurt to try right now."
She felt heat starting, deep in her stomach. "True," she whispered, as his hands skated over her waist and down to her hips. This morning she'd been terrified she might be pregnant, and now she couldn't wait to be.
It was funny what love did to a person.
