Lavender and Sage
"Please, please, I can't live like this anymore!"
"Then leave."
Anna stared at her with mouth agape as Elsa made to move through the crowd. In one last attempt she reached out to catch her, but Elsa yanked her hand away, leaving Anna standing in the middle of the room holding one of her gloves.
The party dissolved quickly after that. Elsa fled the ballroom, nowhere to be seen, leaving only the single glove that Anna managed to grab behind. Now she was the one left to apologize to the invited guests along with Kai and Gerda. Well, she was mostly left with that. She snuck out as soon as she could–didn't even say goodbye to Hans, and he didn't seem to seek her out either, for whatever reason. Anna wandered the castle barefoot for hours, trying to think of all the things she did wrong. Did she offend Elsa? Maybe she was trying too hard. Maybe it was better to just leave Elsa alone and wait for her to take a step, instead of trying to strike a conversation.
Or ask for her blessing to marry a man she'd just met.
Anna let out a groan. The punch she had must have messed with her head. She's never had alcohol before in her entire life, and would you know it, it really did make her head spin and her tongue loose. To think that she'd even accept an offer like that… after just a few hours… Hans must have never had alcohol before too to even ask that question.
She was lying on a sofa in the painting gallery. The room was dark-ish, only lit by the faint glow of the moon seeping in through the large windows. She was still dizzy, but the bravado died down after her sobering walk and she realized just how dumb she was. She must have made a fool not only of herself, but also of her freshly crowned sister in front of all the important emissaries from the neighboring countries.
And Hans. Oh god, she hoped he was drunk enough to forget about that.
She clutched Elsa's glove to her chest, pushing a heavy sob back inside. This could have been it. This could have been the night it all changed. They could have balls like this every month, and they could keep the gates open to all visitors at all time had she not been a complete, utter idiot and destroyed everything.
Before she could stop herself, there were hot tears running down her temples to disappear into her still braided, though definitely messier hair. The picture of Joan of Arc she was looking at (what she always did when she needed solace and cheering up) (and it happened a lot recently) was now so blurry she couldn't even make out her face. Or the entire horse she was riding, for that matter.
Thoughtlessly, she brought up Elsa's glove to wipe the tears away, then groaned again when she noticed what she's done. "I'll have to return you, won't I?" she murmured to the inanimate piece of teal silk. "But I can't do it like this."
There was a wet smear across all five fingers.
"It should dry out though, right?" Her voice was raspy, a result of both the drinking and the holding back the tears, but at least she was now realizing she was slurring a bit. She guessed that was a good sign of sobering. "It's just water and salt."
The glove didn't answer, even when she held it up high above her face to look at it in the moonlight. It had a woven pattern of a darker thread, barely even noticeable in the dim light. It was thin, not the type made for cold weather that Anna would always wear in the winter, rather of the kind that mourning ladies wore for their husbands' funerals. Why would Elsa even wear them for the coronation? Was that appropriate, and Anna was just not aware of it?
She brought the glove closer to her face. At this distance, she could smell a faint scent coming from them–pleasant scent, if anyone was to ask her. Lavender and… some other thing. There was some familiar association it evoked in her mind, but she couldn't quite put it. Her best guess could only be this was what Elsa smelled like. The memory had to come from a time when she was very young, the time she couldn't quite remember now.
The tips of the glove's fingers grazed over her lips, tickling like a feather, sending shivers down her shoulders. Tentatively, she lowered it further until they weren't dangling anymore, but resting on her lips and cheeks. There was a warmth building up in her chest as she imagined the glove wasn't empty. Instead, it was Elsa touching her gently, cupping her cheeks and she wanted to kiss those delicate fingers–
"Then leave."
She shot up to a sitting position, gasping. She was definitely still drunk. "What in hell am I doing?" she murmured to the empty room again, burying her flushed face in her own hands.
If there was any place in the castle she could be in, it was her room.
Anna took a deep breath and knocked. "Elsa?" No answer. "I uh…" What was she even supposed to say? She upset her deeply, but she didn't even know where to start apologizing. "I brought your glove– the one I took." That was probably a good start. "I'm sorry," she dropped her voice to barely above a whisper. She wasn't even sure it was getting through the wood. "Not for just that. Just– sorry. For all. I ruined the party and… I guess…" she faltered. Was Elsa even inside? "Everything else too."
There was a shuffle on the other side of the door and, much to Anna's surprise, it creaked open to reveal Elsa's tired face. She looked Anna up and down before her eyes landed on the glove in her right hand.
"You didn't ruin it," she said quietly. Her voice was somber, and when her eyes flickered back to Anna's face, she was almost shocked to see them glisten with tears. "It was pointless anyway."
But the real shock came when she took a step back from the door and opened it wider, then motioned for Anna to step in. In a haze, still clutching on to the glove like it was the single thing tethering her to reality–because this surely had to be a dream, and one that was only going to hurt her in the end–she stepped inside, taking in the one room in the castle she had never been allowed to explore. A large bed with end tables on both sides, double sized wardrobe, a writing desk with bookshelves and a loveseat made up for the entirety of the furniture inside. The decoration was sparse, and that was still being generous. Aside from the ornamented fireplace and sheepskin rug, there was only a single tapestry hanging on the wall.
Elsa moved to seat on the sofa in front of the crackling fire, then patted the cushion next to her.
Anna skipped over in two steps and flopped down stiffly. "Elsa, I–"
"I'm sorry," Elsa started quietly, gaze glued to the fire. She was playing with the tip of her braid, and Anna just now noted it was released from her coronation updo. "I shouldn't have said that to you."
She gulped down hard and closed her eyes. Anna just stared at her dumbly, before she realized she was not going to continue. "Wha–" then it dawned on her. Then leave. "Ohh, oh, Elsa, you really don't have to–"
She wanted to catch one of Elsa's bare hands, but Elsa moved it out of her reach quickly.
"Don't," she whispered, facing away. "You can't do that, Anna."
It hurt, but she was not about to blow everything away again. Instead, she folded her hands back in her lap and waited patiently for once in her life.
Eventually, Elsa's voice sounded above the crackling of the fire. "I should be the one to leave," she said dryly. Anna opened her mouth to disagree, but Elsa was faster, "I'm a threat, even just staying up here in my room all the time. I realized it today, at the party."
Anna blinked in confusion. "What do you mean?"
Elsa sighed. "I–" her voice hitched and she finally turned back to look at Anna, her big, blue eyes widened in fear as they dashed across Anna's face. Tears were rolling down her cheeks and the mere sight of it was breaking Anna's heart apart. "It's time you know, Anna. Hell, it was time a long time ago, but I was just..."
Her mouth kept moving soundlessly, as if there just weren't any words in this world to describe what she meant. Anna, thoughtless as ever, moved her hand to rest on Elsa's thigh reassuringly. This time, the young Queen didn't move away.
Instead, she did something Anna would never forget. She lifted her right arm towards the fireplace, slender fingers trembling in the orange light. With a flick of her wrist, the fire was snuffed out. Darkness fell between them, and in it Anna strained her eyes to see what happened.
Where her eyes failed her, her ears picked up the cracking of ice, just a second before she felt the cold right in front of her.
"Elsa?" she asked, her tone somewhere between surprise and fear. "What did you do?"
"What I was never supposed to."
Elsa's voice was quiet and detached, completely devoid of any emotion. Anna tore her eyes away from the dark fireplace to make out her silhouette against the light from the window, but she sat just as stiff as a few seconds ago. With the warm glow gone, it was almost impossible to read her expression. The only thing Anna could go by was the shaking of her leg.
"Is this why you're doing this?" she asked after a while, trying to speak in the softest tone possible. "Why you locked yourself up here?"
Elsa shook her head so hard Anna felt it before she saw it. "You don't remember this." Her voice was strained, Anna could tell she was speaking through clenched throat. "No, you can't remember this. It was so many years ago… I hurt you." She let out a sob. "We were playing, and this– this hideous curse," she spat the word out, "it struck you in the head. It almost killed you. I almost killed you."
Anna was fast. She caught both of Elsa's wrists and knelt in front of her, while Elsa was too shocked to react. "Elsa, look at me." She was blowing it up again. In the next heartbeat Elsa was surely going to throw her out of the room and lock the door again. "Whatever happened then, whatever I don't remember, I don't care about it." Elsa's eyes were even bigger, glistening in the dark. "Because I know that you didn't mean it. Whatever this–" she stopped, glancing down at Elsa's clenched fists, "–power that you have is, I'm sure we can work this out together."
Elsa let out another quiet sob that made Anna's heart skip a beat before two heavy, cold droplets landed on her hands. For a moment, she didn't care if she messed it up worse. She just wanted to let Elsa know she was there for her.
Even if she didn't know exactly what the problem was. Even if she was maybe just a little bit baffled by what her sister just did.
"I can't pull you into this," Elsa whispered hurriedly, trying to pry her arms away, but Anna held on steady. "Please, Anna, let go–"
Her breath hitched in her voice when Anna's hands moved from her wrists to cover her fists. Her skin was cool, much cooler than any human Anna has ever touched, but it wasn't in any way unpleasant.
"Please."
Anna shook her head. "I'm not afraid of you," she whispered, forcing Elsa's hands to unclench. She trailed her fingers along the smooth, cold palms. "You're my sister, Elsa. You're the most important person in the world for me." And it was true. Even through all the years of her isolation, she never stopped caring about Elsa. She never stopped wishing Elsa would finally break out of whatever it was she locked herself in.
And now that she was this close, she was not going to lose to Elsa's fears. "Even if you decide to close the gates, to shut everyone out," she continued, "you can't do it to me, not anymore. I will break your walls. Literally, if I have to."
That got Elsa to smile for a second. "If you are willing to tell me now, then do. If not, I'll wait for when you're ready. But I'll wait here, with you." Her thumbs worked tiny circles on Elsa's skin, and she felt her muscles relax gradually. "Well, maybe not here-here, unless you want to sleep with me."
Finally, Elsa let out a short laugh. "You wouldn't like that. I'm cold."
"You are," she agreed while Elsa relaxed enough for her to intertwine their fingers. "I admit, I wasn't expecting that." Elsa's face fell, so she quickly continued, "but it's not bad. I like it."
She could swear Elsa blushed, but maybe she was just imagining things in the dark.
Anna cleared her throat. "So, about that glove…"
"I don't want it," Elsa said quietly. "Not now, at least."
Anna's heart leaped in elation. There was only so much she could do not to jump at Elsa and hug her. That would probably startle her back into her shell for ages.
Instead, she bent down and slowly–waiting for any signs from Elsa that she should stop, but they never came–pressed a shy kiss to Elsa's fingertips. Her skin was even colder here and made her lips tingle just like melting snowflakes did.
She looked up to see Elsa look at her in disbelief. She felt herself flush this time. "Sorry. Still drunk, I guess."
Elsa's eyes softened. "At least you didn't chase– what was his name?"
"Hans," Anna huffed. The embarrassment was still too fresh. "I'm sorry about that, too."
"So long as you didn't seriously consider it, you're forgiven." Elsa surprised her for the billionth time that day by tracing her own fingers over Anna's hands. "It's… odd, in a way–" she touched the tip of her index finger to Anna's middle. "I was so afraid of this, you know? The last time I touched somebody, I hurt him too. I didn't mean to, but I still did." Her brows furrowed. "Couldn't control it." She moved down Anna's middle then back up her ring finger. "But now all I feel is… calm, I think? Like I never do."
Anna removed one of her hands from Elsa's and risked getting closer, forcing herself between her sister's knees. She moved slowly still–she didn't want to startle her–but with enough resolve to show that she knew what she was doing, and that she damn sure was not afraid of it. "I love you," she said, looking Elsa deep in the eyes and placing a hand on her cheek. It was cold, just like the rest of her, and Anna was beginning to get accustomed to it. "And I won't stop, whatever you do. This?" She turned around to point at the swirls of ice in the fireplace. She could see them now clearly, intricate designs glistening in the moonlight. "This is beautiful. The things you can do with your powers are beautiful, not hideous. Not scary."
She traced her thumb over Elsa's lips. "You're too lovely to make ugly things."
She wanted to scold herself as soon as the words left flew out of her dizzy brain and out of her mouth. Way to make things weird between yourself and the sister who's speaking to you for the second time in years.
But Elsa just smiled, and Anna could swear she leant into her hand a bit.
The moonlight was giving way to first rays of the sun. It was probably way past four in the morning, and the rekindled fire was already down to dim embers again. Elsa's head was heavy on her shoulder, the loose braid tickling at Anna's collarbone in the rhythm of her steady breathing. There were things they talked about in the night that Anna never thought she'd talk about–with anyone, not to mention Elsa. Magic, curses, lost memories. Their parents. Trolls and things straight out of fairytales, that Elsa swore were real. And Anna believed her.
After the first trick with the fire, Elsa showed her a few other things she could do. A little ice sculpture of a dove. A chair that was sturdy, and not at all cold. Even delicate fabric that she could wear herself, and it never melted.
But with every astonishing thing she made, with each of Anna's amazed gasps, there was still some fear and sadness lingering in Elsa's eyes.
So Anna made a promise, to herself alone, as she stared into the dying fire with Elsa nestled by her side. Her sister was amazing, and what she could do only made her more unique. Now it was in Anna's hands to show it–to Elsa first, and then the entire world.
But not now. Now was probably the time to go to her room, and give Elsa some privacy while she rested. Even if Anna wanted nothing more than to just watch her breathe as she slept.
She breathed in her scent. Sage. That was the other thing she couldn't guess before. She placed a gentle kiss to the crown of Elsa's head.
Then the tricky part came. She shifted on the loveseat, trying to remove herself as subtly as possible, but her dress was tangled under Elsa's legs, her own legs tangled in the blanket they covered themselves with and her arms could well have been an integral part of Elsa's body by now.
"Anna?" she muttered sleepily, the hair that escaped from her braid falling in a cute mess over her eyes, and Anna could listen to her say her name over and over again for hours.
"It's me, yeah," she breathed out.
"What time is it?"
"Very late," she admitted, though the words left a bitter aftertaste in her mouth. She didn't want the night to end. "Come on now, you should sleep in your bed."
Just in case it really was all a dream.
"Mhm," Elsa agreed, untangling herself from the blanket, then accepting Anna's hand to get off the sofa.
She made it to the bed on wobbly legs and fell down unceremoniously, burying her face in the pillows. Content that she was safe, but with needles piercing her heart, Anna decided to go to her room.
"Anna."
The name stopped her dead in her tracks. She turned around and stepped on something soft–Elsa's glove, discarded on the floor–to face the bed again. Elsa lied amidst the pillows, dress disheveled, hair let loose out of the braid and face flushed with sleepiness.
She looked absolutely gorgeous, and there were a few things more than just Anna's heart that fluttered at the sight before her.
"Yes?"
"Don't leave."
And so she stayed.
A/N: This was written for a prompt duel on the Elsanna Shenanigans discord with the prompt being 'gloves'. If you'd like to participate or learn more about the duels, or just come and talk with all of our amazing members, visit us on discordDOTgg/TU9NpnH (replace the DOT with an actual dot).
