Wonder
TY450
Disclaimer: I don't own BTVS...Joss does...i don't own ELiza either which is a shame because we'd see alot more of her then we have been doing...i don't mean that in a pervy way just in a....you know what? scratch that from you memory! Song Belongs to Megan McCauley
Faith's POV After Season 7 not along the line of the comic apart from Buffy going Gay
WONDER
Midnights workings, weather down the storyline,
I try to find the truth between all the lies,
When bleeding is feeling and feeling ain't real, Will i see you when i open my eyes?
Will i see you when i open my eyes?
You all should understand something, I know that ya'll know that my childhood in southie wasn't anything to jump for joy screamin' 'yay' about, more like grit you teeth against the pain while trying not to scream 'FUCK'and just waitin' for 'em to get bored. Yeah I was knocked around in my younger days, did some stupid shit to myself too. Even before B stabbed me I knew the feel of a blade all too well...you can all figure it out, don't need lil' old me to draw you a picture!. I can't remember when it started but I know when the shit stopped, wanna know?....after the fight with the first.
When breathings a burden we all have to bare,
And trust is one thing we're taught never to share,
Somehow you just seem to shine,
When loving means breaking and saying goodbye,
Yeah I know what your thinkin'...stupid right?. You see all I knew was to hide from the light...why the hell am I rhymin'?...anyway, I was always runnin', runnin' away from everythin', emotional turmoil never seem to stick good with me. I'm fucked in the head, I know that, c'mon I mean I fought for the bad guys even though I'm supposed to be a 'good' guy, my best friends a creature I'm supposed to kill and the only one who could understand my calling gutted me...and even though she did that, I can't seem to hate her for it...fucked yeah?
Shit...B...man, I know I've done some fucked up shit to her and said some equally messed up stuff too...I just hope that we could work it out.
I mean I know B's never gonna push me again, we're standing side by side, kickin' demon ass and it feels like old times, only now we have a dozen or so mini-slayer joinin' the gig. Hey I don't mind the young uns' hangin' 'round, it's kinda cool to be teachin' someone not to do the shit I did, I just wish I had some time with B on our own...the Chosen Two as used to be. ah...who am I kiddin'...I'm gonna tell you the real reason as to why I wanted B an' me on our own...I love her...see I told you I was seriously messed. B...oh and Angel, they're are my light, they're are my reason...but everytime I look at them I can't help but see all the shit I put them through, all the pain, sufferin' and torment between us...so thats why i'm on this bike in the middle of fucken' nowhere. I love 'em both and thats why I left, I could still see it in their eyes too, they were tryin' their hardest not to show it but couldn't stop it. well it's just like the song goes 'When loving means leaving and saying goodbye'...the bad thing is I left without sayin' that.
And i can't help but wonder what it is you do,
You help heal the pain and the thoughts of the truth,
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world,
And somehow when i'm with you, i never get burned,
Angel...it's him that helped me, him that healed me...but it was B that saved me. The chick should hate me, I think deep down she still kinda does, but having her give me a chance to help her fight The First gave me a line yunno?, let me think that maybe all would be fine, we got along apart from the whole 'tossin' her outta her house' and the 'punchin' me in the face' thing, they're the only times weve had any beef since Angel's all that time ago. but I think she realised that I didn't want that to happen, it wasn't me who turfed her outta her home and that I sure as hell didn't want to be the one in charge. When she left I followed her, we had an understandin' she told me not to be afraid of leadin' them, I love that about her, no matter what I looked to her for guidence and I looked up to her, she's so much stronger than me. This is gonna sound so lame but I feel like i'm at home when i'm with her.
Caught in a trap of what we're taught to believe,
When night overcomes day, lifes so hard to preceive, And the clock keeps on ticking through night-shatted skies,
Where the stars are all broken, and so are all the ties,
But the one thing remaining is you,
When i'm broken and bleeding you pull me right through,
iIbelieve i'm doin' the right thing, yunno leaving, but sometimes i think that its stupid to do this, i'm throwin' away my one chance of happiness and the only family that i'm most probably gonna have...damn, it is stupid. I don't know why I thought it was a good idea!. I should go back, but i'm afraid, I left so they don't want me back, I didn't say goodbye so they'll be pissed off!, i've been gone for 2 weeks and i've keep the cell Fang gave me, off. You know what?...I goin' home. I'll quit runnin' away, i'll face my demons. I love her an' I shouldn't be afraid of telling her that, and i'm damn sure not afraid of the Sumo or Satsuma or whatever that asian chicks name is. I'll stand up and fight for the woman I love even if all she'll do is throw a fist at me then tell me to sling my hook, shit this is hard. Lets crank up this beauty...ooo listen to her purr, fuckin' brilliant, right lets turn around and go home baby.
And i can't help but wonder what it is you do,
You help heal the pain and the thoughts of the truth,
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world,
And somehow when i'm with you theres nothing i'd rather do,
The feel of this crotch rocket ain't doing what it normally does for me, shit i must be proper zoned. I've never really had a one track mind but all I can think about is goin' home to Buffy...hugging Buffy...kissing Buffy...fu-, hey if I don't concerntrate on the road it'll be coma-land again...if i'm lucky, at this speed i'll be roadkill. Gotta slow down before I gather to much attention, don't need the cops on my ass now do i?. I'll never get home if that happens. I wonder how they'll react, probally don't really give a damn. Good job I got the bike, if they be pissed at me then i'lL just hop straight back on the bike and gun it. I hope they don't yell, it'll only get me yelling...don't really wanna dissapear, come back then start yelling at everyone.
Than be right there,
To escape my own life and all my fear, And i can't really feel,
Am i really real?
Come and wipe away all my tears,
Come and wipe away all my tears,
Oh man, there it is...Buffy's place, fuck me, I can't do this, I can't...ARRGHH! FUCK!...come on you fuckin' sissy, just walk up to the door and knock, knock? erm I still have a key...but just letting yourself in?...internal arguements, theres a hoot. C'mon Lehane!...grow a pair already. There you go, one foot in front of the other, okay thats your right now move your left...erm move it...MOVE!...ah there. Oh boy, knock knock. Oh shit...what do i say?...erm hi B, sorry I up an' vanished again jus' had to make life hard for ya? pfft. i doubt i'll be able to talk anyway, what with the noise coming from the house...what the fuck is goin' on in there?. i'll knock again. Ooff..what the?...OW! okay who landed on me?
"Faith?" Shit...B landed on me and she isn't gettin' off...me, she isn't gettin' offa me. what is it with people and they dirty minds huh? ooo, B is lookin' kinda pissed off, musta spaced out.
"Hey B" flash a smile Faith, good girl "Miss me?" FREAKIN' DUMBASS. She's deffo gonna go with the punchin' now...alright i'm braceing myself
"Hey Faith...you're back, did get what you needed done?" Whoa wait a minute!
"Huh?" she looks so cute like that...still sittin' on me though, it's nice.
"Angel told me you needed to go back to Boston to sort something out...he wouldn't tell me what" Angel you lifesaver...man I love that guy.
"Uh yea' jus' somethin' to do with my old house, been a few years since I been there, just wanted to check to see if it's still standin' an' all" Smooth Lehane.
"How is it"
"A gangsters paradise" Well it was when I left.
"Good to have you back"
"If this is the welcome i get then i'm gonna go away on weekly trips!" I made her laugh.
"Come on...you can help me" B gets up off me and all of a sudden i'm really freakin' cold...weird. She holds out her hand for me to take and I do...she raises an eyebrow at me...of course I smirk back "What do you need my help for B"
"Dawn got a dog...I was chasing it, trying to make it go outside...but instead it made me" I can't help but laugh at that...she really is cute. She smiles back at me...whoa what is she doing?
"You got really cute dimples Faith, you should smile like that more often, it lights up your face" okay urm...right. Change of subject please
"What dog is it and how old"
"2 year old Akita...named"
"Hey Buffy you'll never guess what? Hey Faith, Buffy you're name means 'God's Promise' in Hebrew and remember that Caleb guy?...well his name means 'Dog' In Hebrew aswell as 'Bold"
"Hey thats funny...'Bold Dog'...anyway as i was saying his name is"
"Hey Faith...what's your middle name?" should i tell her? why not "It's Eliza"
"Whoa...okay short for Elizabeth, which is also Buffy's real name"
"Yeah but i don't have an Ann...Ann Summers?...you do know that's a shop right? sells sex gear and naughty underwear!" B blushes...i've still got it
"Elizabeth means 'God's Oath'. You two suit each other...'God's Promise' and 'God's Oath'. oh and the New dogs name is Raidon, it means 'Thunder God' in Japanese"
"Whats with you and the name meaning things"
"What do you mean we suit each other?" Dawn rolls her eyes at us which has me smirking
"Ugh...let me put it in simple terms...huh um, Faith Like Buffy, Buffy Like Faith, Faith Good, Buffy Want, Faith Want...HANKY PANKY. Does any of that ring a bell? you two are useless, i'm gonna go play with Raidon" What the hell was that?...did we seriously get yelled at by Squirt? B's tryin to talk, she can't do it but she's doin' a damn fine job of mockin' a fish.
"B...I...What Dawn said, she's, she's"
"Not lying...I know. What she said is true. I really wanted to tell you myself in a few more words than that though. Faith, I do , I do like you...in that way, but is it true about you liking me in that way?"
"B are ya' blind? Yea' I like ya' in that way...what did D say?, oh, HANKY PANKY. Jeez you guys have been spending to much time with G-man." Buffy smiled at me, now she walking slowly to me...this is kinda scary come to think of it.
"Well that's good, now 'Eliza' come on home" Home, B finally said that its our home... I like that. Awesome.
And i can't help but wonder what it is you do,
You help heal the pain and the thoughts of the truth,
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world, And somehow, when i'm with you,
I can't help but wonder what it is you do,
You help heal the pain and the thoughts of the truth,
You're a question to the universe, a wonder to the world,
And somehow, when i'm with you, I never get burned.
