Omg! I'm updating! Fwoah! So hopefully this wont be like my last Harry Potter attempt…(hey, it was up for like, a year, I got ONE review…dern-it)
Ok, so this is…random I admit but it is QUITE funny…and...weird…ill explain it at the bottom, I dunno if I'll make it a challenge or not….yea…I might, review and tell me..

DISCLAIMER:

Doctor: why have you been so spasmatic lately Rita?
Me: He Kissed Meh!
Doctor: I'm sorry to inform you that a…flips through charts Professor Severus Snape does not exist…
Me: b—b—but
Doctor: and actually, contrary to popular belief, you don't own Him OR this…Hairy Porter..
Me: Harry Potter...POT-TER doctor...Pot-ter
Doctor: Whatever, you. DON'T. OWN. THEM.
Me: flings self at doctor attacking him nooooooooooooo…


The Diner…by HeadOHeels4Snape

We walked into the diner and sat down, extremely crowded in a booth, and ordered drinks. We were all comparing our summers so far before we started working for our respective jobs next week. (All of us were Gryffindors who had been graduated for around two months.)

"So…how was the party at your house last week?" asked my friend Paul.
"Not the greatest," I said as our drinks came. I took a sip of my coke.
"It can't have been that bad…," said Lauren, who was sitting on my left.
"My folks invited the professors," I said emphatically.
"What!" exclaimed everyone.
I nodded and took another sip from my coke, "yup," I replied.
"Who?Whoooooo?" they asked, although Paul's voice was loudest of them all.
I pondered. "Uhm…Professor Dumbledore…McGonagall…Sprout…Flitwick...oh yeah! And Professor Snape." I said ticking the names off with my fingers.

"Did you curse him in the doorway?" asked Amy.
"Did you curse him after he walked through the door?" asked Sean.
"Did you curse him at all?" asked Paul.

"No!" I said shocked. (I was always a good student in school…) "Besides," I added in a lowered voice, "there were muggles there, my old school teachers, Dr. Wood, Mr. Leaf and Mrs. Waterfall," I laughed quickly. "Mr. Leaf probably would've had a heart attack if he saw me using magic."

"How horrible," stated Paul, "I would've done it," he said, puffing his chest.
Kelly poked him in the chest and he quickly deflated. "Yea right, you practically failed Charms," she retorted.

I laughed again, then sobered quickly, "Actually, he just sat in a corner after greeting Professor Dumbledore."
Everyone looked awed that he didn't blast all the muggles at the party to smithereens.

"You know what the bes--worst part is?" I asked, quickly making sure no one had caught my slip up.
"What?" piped Jack in a small voice.
"He sat in a corner and willingly gave people massages, and according to my friend (a muggle), they were good." I sat back and looked at them apprehensively.
Everyone was silent. Then they all began talking at once.

"No! No Way!"
"That's horrible!"
"Ewwwwwww….."
"Did you curse him then?"

I just looked around and drank my coke until the noise stopped.
Sherie, my best friend, who was sitting on my right, looked at me and laughed and laughed. Everyone, including me, looked at her with odd expressions. No one else was laughing with her.

She laughed one last time before she finally stopped and said, "That's not the worst thing!"
I looked at her and said in an exasperated voice, "Then, pray tell, what is?"
She looked at me and then looked over Paul's shoulder at the dimly lighted corner booth. I quickly followed her gaze.

"Because Snape's sitting right there," she said pointing to the corner booth.

Now everyone, including Paul, was silent.

I smiled as a now noticeable dark figure in the corner booth pulled back his hood to reveal none other than Professor Severus Snape.
"Hello Severus, care to go out for a walk?" I asked.

Snape glared at all of us (save me) and looked back at me again, still silent.

"Did she just call him Severus?" muttered Paul.
"Yea," said Kelly.
Paul fainted and everyone snorted, even Snape.

Finally looking up from Paul's limp noodle type body, Snape smiled and replied.

"Certainly."

I un-wedged myself from my friends and walked out hand in hand with Severus.

Just as we were about to walk out of the door, as Severus was holding it open for me, I heard someone say "You know she never really liked Paul anyways…"
I heard a definite gasp and thump as Paul fainted again.

I smiled and squeezed Severus' hand and we walked out of the diner together.


So there you have it, my first SS/anyone female story/one-shot and it was a dream. That why the massaging thing didn't make sense. A couple notes

1.) the " I "refers to me, as this was a dream, but I like the element of a mystery a bit, so feel free to improvise with who you think it was while reading…..
2.) Dr. Wood, Mr. Leaf and Mrs. Waterfall are my current Biology, Technology (well actually the class is called Principles of Engineering and Technology POET), and English classes respectively, they're entirely real and non-fictionary, even their names are real…..
3.) I also dreamt the party and the "walk" (more like snog-a-thon!) I might add them as a sequel and prequel if people ask (AND REVIEW!)
4.) I tried to make this make as much sense as possible, but only I and two other people read it SO GIVE ME ADVISE! I've been writing for 3 years but not much so I like input!
5.) word count 629 for story alone...prob around...eh 800 for all...?
6.) one more thing about the story, shes relaying it LATER, so its kind of all PAST tense...and the parentheses are things she added to make the story more informative
6.) see that periwinkle button in the bottom left hand corner? It says REVIEW….CLICK IT…..curses everyone but snape to not do so

Your Demented Writer….

HeadOHeels4Snape (formerly LyraOfQueenscove)